Serous question could mean someones life

[jonwon]

Lmao, i love your reply. Really i do... and i don't speak from text book none sense, i speak from having had to deal with seeing countless of my friends go through depression and suicide attempts. I don't get pissed off often, but don't you dare even try to think that i have no experience with this.

The world isn't perfect, and i have no idea where you get the idea i thought it was. Or where you got many of your assumptions... i'd ask you to explain, but that's off topic, and the topic of this post is FAR more important.

Look man i dont want to clash egos here, your adivce is note worthy and spot on, but the problem here is he can waste countless hours/days/weeks/months trying what you suggested, i know i have done it.

Instead he should use the time to seek out professional help for the girl, go with her if she requests it.

First port of call is the doctors, they are trained for this stuff.
Second port is a councillor.
The councillor will get to the route of the problem, it is the route where the issue lies not the outside source.
Only a trained professional can hope to dig into the armour this girl as made.

Tell her, you want to help her and the best advice is from a professional, if she does not want to know, then be very careful where you go from here!
Trust me on this ok.

 

[DonJuanByNature]

Listen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Never abandon a friend, be it male or female.

This is SO VERY TRUE.....HOWEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

in the case of AFC's unfortunatly some of the friends who they think are "their" friends.. are really not... for example a girl who doesnt care for him and uses him for attention as an example....

 

[AngelusPUA]

Man it doesn't mean her life don't be so melodramatic a lot of people cut themselves to deal with the stresses of life. It's not a sign that they are going to commit suicide they are usually shallow cuts to the upper arm or thigh. It is more an addiction than anything but if you MUST get involved get her family involved or even tell her BF.

YOU ARE NOT A PSYCHIATRIST DO NOT TRY TO FIX THIS YOURSELF

Talk to her parents or BF.

 

[S1NN3R]

and then as she gasping for air... and about to pass out, start to let her go a little.. then.. most likely she will break out into crying..

Tonight's top story, a man was shot and killed by a federal officer today in Massachusetts, immediately following an attempted murder of someone he claimed was a friend. This "friend", a 24 year old woman, was strangled in a choke hold to the point of losing consciousness, and is now hospitalized with a condition known as "cerebral hypoxia" caused by lack of oxygen to the brain. The man's last words before his death were "I was just playing.", to which the federal officer replied, "yeah, me too." Senior correspondant Rachel Marr has more, live from the scene.... Rachel?

I wonder if it'll be on national news or if I'll have to search the local channels.....

 

[DonJuanByNature]

lol

This "friend", a 24 year old woman, was strangled in a choke hold to the point of losing consciousness, and is now hospitalized with a condition known as "cerebral hypoxia" caused by lack of oxygen to the brain.

As the doctors further examined the patient they realized that the true underlying condition was a deficiency in cardiac output due to a cadiac myopathy that resulted in cadiomegaly with extensive cardiac hypertrophy. This was worcened by her lack of LDL and fatty streaks within the vessels that have now progressed to artherosclerosis. More importantly what was shocking was the high amount of carbon monoxide present in her blood which required immediate transfusion. The patient being a blood type O was difficult enough, but also it was found that the patient had pernicious anemia that was not due to deficiency of B-12 in her diet, but due to the lack of ability for her stomach to produce Intinsic Factor... This was easily ditected by visualizing her macrocytic RBC's during a histological examination...

Since the Doctor was not available, DonJuanByNature quickly took over and saved the girls life bla bla bla lol
(yes, I think this is the first time I tried to defend myself, or prove something)

 

[d9930380]

I knew a girl that was raped, cut and "tried" to commit suicide before I met her. I saw her as someone to save, yes total AFC move.

Don't fall for it man! I've even had a mate's gf tell me that she told ex-bfs that she was raped to get sympathy. She's manipulating you.

Why is she doing this? Probably because she knows she's not a good person at heart and she wants people to feel sorry for her and therefore make excuses for her behaviour. She probably doesn't even know she's doing it as she's probably been doing it since she was a kid - she might have demons from then.

What I suggest is - ignore what she's saying so you don't allow emotions for her to cloud your judgment and analysise what you think of her as a person objectively. I think then you'll see the REAL reason why she's doing this yourself and once you do, any need to HELP her will be gone.

 

[d9930380]

DonJuinByNature Wrote
"This is SO VERY TRUE.....HOWEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !

in the case of AFC's unfortunatly some of the friends who they think are "their" friends.. are really not... for example a girl who doesnt care for him and uses him for attention as an example...."

Listen to this - I would put money this is exactly what is going on. That's why I said, judge her character as a person and what exactly is her relationship with you objectively.

Don't feel embarrassed, I learnt by a girl seeing me the same way and I'm sure DonJuanByNature probably did to or had a friend it happened to. That's how we learn - from our experiences.

I think that's the reason why AFCs are AFCs - They don't have experience of the world and people in general because they haven't put themselves out there to make those mistakes. You can't learn anything useful from a book.

 

[The Truth]

This is the scary thing about this post, if she wants to screw it up for herself I.e top herself she should at least not burden some-one elses life with the responsibility and that is what is going on here. Don’t be responsible for the women or any others person problems, ppl have to sort them out themselves, you can offer advice but never take responsibility and don’t let anyone make you think you are responsible for there own fuc*** up shi*.

That sounds harsh, but it is absolutely true and very well put!

I was naive like the OP at first and I let my friends burden me with their problems and felt it was my duty to save them, but the stress was depressing me and getting me down. One of them would even call me at 2am to tell me she was going to cut herself and just wanted someone to talk to. Forget going to sleep!

What totally changed my mind and p*ssed me right off was when my mother had a cancer scare. I wasn't sleeping, I couldn't think straight, I was going crazy with worry and these "friends" never once offered me any sympathy and STILL continued moaning about their problems to me! It wasn't even as though they had no problems apart from what they inflicted on themselves!

In the end I realised these werent friends. They just wanted me to give them free councelling and lavish attention on them.

One of my friends keeps telling me he has a plan to kill himself...someday. When he first told me I was terrified and begged him not to. He has been saying it for 15 years and still hasn't done it. Now when he tells me, I just say "it's your choice. We all have our own decisions to make".

 

[d9930380]

The Truth - You speak the truth. Exactly the same thing happened to me. That's when you realise they're just selfish people that like drama and attention and really don't give a **** about anyone but themselves.

 

[FaithHealer]

When you let a girl's problem become your problem like this, you are setting yourself up for heartache and trouble. Don't let it consume you to the point that she drags you down with her. The only person whose problems you can really fix are your own.

 

[Bad_Lil'Pixie]

You could be hurting her more with all the attention and concern.

She isn't cutting fancy shapes in order to have decorative scars; she is cutting to balance emotional pain with physical pain. I think this based on the fact that you stated "she cuts and smokes because of her boyfriend".

I do not know what his actions are that causes her to do this and in truth, it may be depression or other issues that have nothing to do with him. Regardless, she is obviously starving for his attention and is willing to mutilate her body to get it.

By you given her so much attention and concern you could be reinforcing this behavior. In her current state of mind she could be thinking, "I get attention from Bury when I cut myself, so I will cut more and get attention from my boyfriend."

I can only think that the BEST help you can offer her is to tell her to seek some very direct, centered counseling, tell her to go talk to her family (or a respected adult) and let her know that you are no longer going to watch her self-destruct.

You have told her that you do not like it and that she needs to stop, she has disregarded your opinion and she has shown that she doesn't have concern of your well being. Protect yourself, you can not control her life or take charge of it, however, you can offer her some direction.

Please do not consider the dramatic/physical/abusive approach suggested by others, it would only saturate her with the attention and drama she is after. It would make her 'up the ante' of the game and cut more. She would see she got a "rise" out of you and that's what she is after from another, you would be showing her that her little game is working.

Helplessness is a b*tch of a position to be in and it will take mountains of strength to turn your back on her.

Take care.
-Pix

 

[TheLazy]

obviously ur an AFC friend.. cause I would have already slapped her in face LITERRALLY (not hard obfiously) looked at her and said "what the fck is wrong with you" ... put her in a choke hold.. and then say.. you want to die "I will help you" and then as she gasping for air... and about to pass out, start to let her go a little.. then.. most likely she will break out into crying.. and then... after you ask her how she feels she will hug you and thank you...
case closed!

ps... if she doesnt fight back, or doesnt care that your choking her, then immediatly send her to hospital (mental issue, i.e. depression for real etc..)....

pss.... some of you were shocked by this responce, casue you don;t totally see it... but sometimes a good slap, shocker, is a good wake up call... and always dont forget to laught it off afterwards..

you are the most retarded person on the internet.

 

[PRMoon]

no, they will thank me for preventing her from killing herself.....

Yes you in your brilliance in wrestling will cause suicidal aversion Her family will be oh so grateful for your contribution with the pyschologically proven theraputic benefits of "the choke hold" as opposed to letting them know there's something incredibly wrong with their of spring and letting them report it to the proper athorities and doctors.

You MUST be joking.

 

[skip2mylou781]

dnjuanbynature is right tho

if ur just passive and try to talk her out of cutting herself nicely, that absolutely will not do ANYTHING

being extreme will help her stop in my opinion (extreme and passionate, PROVE to her that ur pissed that shse doin this to herself)

 

[ima str8 up pimp]

Originally Posted by DonJuanByNature
obviously ur an AFC friend.. cause I would have already slapped her in face LITERRALLY (not hard obfiously) looked at her and said "what the fck is wrong with you" ... put her in a choke hold.. and then say.. you want to die "I will help you" and then as she gasping for air... and about to pass out, start to let her go a little.. then.. most likely she will break out into crying.. and then... after you ask her how she feels she will hug you and thank you...
case closed!

ps... if she doesnt fight back, or doesnt care that your choking her, then immediatly send her to hospital (mental issue, i.e. depression for real etc..)....

pss.... some of you were shocked by this responce, casue you don;t totally see it... but sometimes a good slap, shocker, is a good wake up call... and always dont forget to laught it off afterwards..

I definetly agree with this.. I'd make it as emotional and passionate as possible though. Tell her you really care and she'll cry and then leave her boyfriend for you lol. Two problems fixed: her boyfriend, you getting ***** ... ahh yah and before y'all try and bash me? you can suck me dry :crackup: .. "I do what I do"

 

[skip2mylou781]

i wont bash u cuz i agree 100%, u put it better than i did actually with the whole "listen i really care, and i aint rollin over and watchin my friend do this to herself" and SLAP her (seriously), make it emotional and dramatic so she gets THE POINT......by just sayin "cmon dont do it, pleaaaase" ur just givin her the control, but u REALLY wanna do is dominate her and basically MAKE THE DECISION FOR HER to stop cutting herself

hell, let her b depressed, but stop the self mutilation by any means possible!

 

[BuryYourDead]

I dated a girl that liked to cut, believe me it is a stress you really do not need.

It is a mental issue that nothing you can do or say can help, she has to deal with it, your not a shrink and even experts cant cure a cutter.
So exactly what the hell do you think you can do here?

I understand you may have feelings for her if she is a friend but trust me on this there is nothing you can do, also cutters mainly do it for attention and reliving stress, they say attention does not come into it, but eventually they reach out for sympathy from some-one knowing full well there problem is there’s alone.

The girl should not have burdened you with this extra stress.

Cutters are normally depressed ppl, or they have emotional issues, cutters are mainly female they use cutting to relive stress and anxiety, they see the pain as a release. Cutters don’t necessarily commit suicide but they have been know to, now knowing there is little to nothing you can do, how do you think now if she did go ahead and top her self, hard question but needs to be said, do you think you will be to blame since you did not help her stop? You see the problem, you are shifting responsibility here, this is not your problem and YOU can not sort it out for her, this is a stress and a burden most ppl cant deal with, since there is little to nothing you can do. Put akin to trying to get an addict of crack, you cant force them unless they try to stop for themselves, even using that line wont make a difference.

And you really think it is the BF making her cut, FFS get a grip you puzzy whipped Care bear, FFS she is playing with your nice nature and pouring her shi* onto you, no man can make some-one harm themselves beliving some-one else can more fool you tbh.

I would walk away from this whilst you still can, or at the very least avoid the subject, or tell her to go get some professional advice she has a diagnosed mental condition she needs prof’ advice not some kid/man with a do gooder sentiment.

Danjanbynature best advice tbh about it, problem is this sociaty will screw you over. Most wont see it though since they think words and nice sh** can sort this, but then again your we are not shrinks, dont think you know the answers to the worlds problems, fact is we dont, ppl are trained and payed for this stuff, dont be the di** with the big heart who is actually making things far worse.

she sepcifcly told me its her boyfriend thats making her do it because she cheating on him with hid best friend and now they hate eachother anaperntly all they do is fight now...

 

[BuryYourDead]

and i know what it means i know she wont commit sucicde its just a phase that people like her go thru..and its not for ****ing attention it was my fault it got brought up in the first place its not like i sit and talk to this girl about cutting and **** all day..and about how terrible her life is
no matter what your don jon peop[le say or w/e its not always like girls are out to test you and want to use yu for attention...sometimes they just want to talk k???

 

[The Truth]

Now will people believe me that Skip, DJBN and str8 pimp are keyboard jockeys? Their advice would absolutely never work in a real life situation like this!

There has been some good advice offered here by everyone else though.....people who have had EXPERIENCE with this issue. Take note!

 

[BuryYourDead]

Now will people believe me that Skip, DJBN and str8 pimp are keyboard jockeys? Their advice would absolutely never work in a real life situation like this!

There has been some good advice offered here by everyone else though.....people who have had EXPERIENCE with this issue. Take note!

theres also people who SAY they ahve experince