Serious help. Did I overreact? What would you have done DJs?

[holycrapman]

Hi everyone. Your thoughts on this will be greatly appreciate it:

My gf or exgf, met 1 year ago on Bumble. We wa ited 6 months to be official (Inwas spinning plates) and it was one of the best relationships I ever had with a chick.

She came from a 4 year relationship with a guy who in her words "treated her terribly".

The bagagge that she had with this guy included: 2 abortions, verbal abuse, rape while she was under the influence several times and cheating.

Now to the story. 1 month ago, we had an argument about something trivial and she took down our instagram highlights that she had of us. That made me curious and I was checking her insta and saw some pictures where she was with her ex and another friend at a festival from a couple of years ago and another one where her leg and another leg from a man where showing like seeing a mountain.

I asked her who that was and she said her ex. I told her that made me uncomfortable due to the horror stories she told me about him and due to the fact that she removed ours for a little argument and not his. She said it was part of the past but deleted them and I thanked her. I don't have any pictures of my ex hanging around my house or my instagram out of respect and she understood that.

After that, she told me that I was following my ex on insta and that made her uncomfortable too because for her following is like there a bridge of communication and connection. I followed my ex before meeting her and I absolutely did not talk to my ex at all but I completely understood and unfollowed out of respect. It's good to know that I did not have horror stories to tell about my ex, it just did not work out.

2 weeks later, I can't explain to you but there was an inside voice to tell me to check her followers. I saw that she and her ex re added each other on instagram. Both have private accounts so you have to go to the process of requesting and accepting. I called her out on it and she apologized and said she ****ed up but it was out of curiosity and that he added her first.

That broke my trust. I am not the guy that goes checking your followers and likes but she started that game and it just woke something in me to check.

I told her I don't understand thid after the talked we had 2 weeks ago and that's shady because she did not even mention it to me to see how I would feel and it felt like a double standard and that I would not feel curiosity for someone that hurt me so much in the past and would not risk throwing away everything I had with her for that.

We had plans of living together.

I dumped her, she is begging. Currently she is in a trip with her family and asked me to take these weeks to re think.

My trust is broken, I love her and she was really good to me but I cant just forget that. What would you do?

Ps: cex is great and she does every freaky thing I like. Dhring these weeks she called and I ignored. She texted me that she misses me a lot and she loves me,.I ignored again. Now she disappeared but will come back in 4 days.

I feel stupid

 

[Dr.Suave]

She came from a 4 year relationship with a guy who in her words "treated her terribly".

This was possibly the first red flag.

I was checking her insta and saw some pictures where she was with her ex and another friend at a festival from a couple of years ago and another one where her leg and another leg from a man where showing like seeing a mountain.

I asked her who that was and she said her ex.

2 weeks later, I can't explain to you but there was an inside voice to tell me to check her followers. I saw that she and her ex re added each other on instagram. Both have private accounts so you have to go to the process of requesting and accepting.

She´s clearly an alpha-widow

That broke my trust.

Ps: cex is great

Great sex is irrelevant if she´s not giving you peace of mind. Do not give her exclusivity again, plate status only. She probably wont go for that, so be it.

 

[holycrapman]

This was possibly the first red flag.



She´s clearly an alpha-widow



Great sex is irrelevant if she´s not giving you peace of mind. Do not give her exclusivity again, plate status only. She probably wont go for that, so be it.

Thank you. I feel stupid because I should have just keep plating her. You live and you learn I guess

 

[SW15]

I dumped her....What would you do?

I would follow Iron Rule of Tomassi #7 and read the article below if you have never read it before.

Iron Rule of Tomassi #7
It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was.

Rooting through garbage

HELP! I ****ed up big time and I want her back! How do I get her back? Easily one of the most common questions I’ve fielded at SoSuave over the past 7 years has been some variation of “…

therationalmale.com

You did the right thing by dumping her. Move on with your life and find new women. You have some seduction abilities by your talk about past plate spinning behavior.

 

[holycrapman]

This was possibly the first red flag.



She´s clearly an alpha-widow



Great sex is irrelevant if she´s not giving you peace of mind. Do not give her exclusivity again, plate status only. She probably wont go for that, so be it.

I have a question for you. Given that I did not act beta and dumped her. Do you think it is possible to alpha widow an alpha widow? To reimprint her?

 

[Chow Mein]

I have a question for you. Given that I did not act beta and dumped her. Do you think it is possible to alpha widow an alpha widow? To reimprint her?

Why invest your time? She has shown you that her ex is someone that she will go back to, not you.

 

[SW15]

Do you think it is possible to alpha widow an alpha widow? To reimprint her?

Interesting question, but no.

Iron Rule of Tomassi #7 is the only path forward for you.

 

[holycrapman]

I would follow Iron Rule of Tomassi #7 and read the article below if you have never read it before.

Iron Rule of Tomassi #7
It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was.

Rooting through garbage

HELP! I ****ed up big time and I want her back! How do I get her back? Easily one of the most common questions I’ve fielded at SoSuave over the past 7 years has been some variation of “…

therationalmale.com

You did the right thing by dumping her. Move on with your life and find new women. You have some seduction abilities by your talk about past plate spinning behavior.

Thanks man. Yeah, I have no problem getting new women. I just have to work on my attachment once I drop other plates and get exclusive

 

[holycrapman]

Why invest your time? She has shown you that her ex is someone that she will go back to, not you.

You are right. I am very freaky man in the sheets and maybe deep down I want to keep banging. I have no problem getting new women but when I think of the process of training them again to do all the dirty stuff I like, maybe I run into scarcity

 

[Chow Mein]

You are right. I am very freaky man in the sheets and maybe deep down I want to keep banging. I have no problem getting new women but when I think of the process of training them again to do all the dirty stuff I like, maybe I run into scarcity

Pvssy is a powerful drug, homie.

 

[BPH]

Sounds just like my ex.

She'll keep coming back, and not just to her ex, but also you.

I broke up with mine about 2 years ago, and about 1 year ago we starting having a f*ck buddy arrangement with one another. That recently ended, but while that was going on she STILL was in contact with her abusive ex that she hates, along with another FWB that I didn't like because he kept trying to sleep with her while she was dating me.

And she still contacts me every few days, not believing I'm serious about being done seeing her (unrelated, but keeps creating drama and I'm tired of the headaches), just as I'm sure she contacts those other 2.

 

[holycrapman]

Sounds just like my ex.

She'll keep coming back, and not just to her ex, but also you.

I broke up with mine about 2 years ago, and about 1 year ago we starting having a f*ck buddy arrangement with one another. That recently ended, but while that was going on she STILL was in contact with her abusive ex that she hates, along with another FWB that I didn't like because he kept trying to sleep with her while she was dating me.

And she still contacts me every few days, not believing I'm serious about being done seeing her (unrelated, but keeps creating drama and I'm tired of the headaches), just as I'm sure she contacts those other 2.

I see man. Did she propose the arrangement or you?

 

[Grandma Penkitten]

What was the argument about that set this off?

 

[holycrapman]

Pvssy is a powerful drug, homie.

Hence my username. Holycrapman!

 

[holycrapman]

What was the argument about that set this off?

Excuse me, what do you mean?

 

[Grandma Penkitten]

Excuse me, what do you mean?

The trivial argument that put this whole thing in motion, I am curious what it was about.

 

[holycrapman]

The trivial argument that put this whole thing in motion, I am curious what it was about.

I never unfollowed my ex (before this one) from instagram. One day she said she felt uncomfortable because for her following an ex was like keeping the door of communication open. I understood her point because she did not follow her ex so I unfollowed mine (she.did not ask to unfollow, I did it out of respect).

2 weeks after that convo, my gut told me to check her insta and I realized she and her ex had refollowed each other. She said he sent the invite and she was curious to see his profile, which after our convo seemed like non sense to me. She apologized profusely and accepted her mistake (rare in women), however the fact that she hid it from me messed with my head and I will always think she is hiding something, even if she is not.

She had optimal behavior before that which is way I feel stupid but also felt disrespected. What do you think?

Edit: I had previously told her I did not even knew her ex's name and I did not care about knowing who he was. But did know who he was

 

[BPH]

I see man. Did she propose the arrangement or you?

Truthfully, I don't remember how it first started.

We both agreed that the sex was great, but I can't remember if she was checking in to see how I was doing or if I was on a bit of a dry spell and got nostalgic.

Her problem was she created drama when none existed; one of our earliest fights was about how some girl was DMing her that I was cheating when I went home to Delaware after visiting her each weekend. She wouldn't tell me who it was, wouldn't show me the messages, and came to her on conclusions about me not being trustworthy.

I had to basically convince her I wasn't doing something...that I wasn't doing...

She even brought this back up during one of our FWB visits, claiming that she still had the DMs, but wouldn't show me, and that I should just "trust her".

Got tired of it, have plates that don't cause me headaches, so yeah.

 

[holycrapman]

That sucks. This one did not create drama like that which is why I would like to keep banging down the road with other chicks in the mix.

Like someone said above, pvssy is a hell of a drug and sometimes we get carried away with lust when an obedient one that does everything comes along

 

[SW15]

Thanks man. Yeah, I have no problem getting new women.

You are in a better spot right now than a lot of men.

I just have to work on my attachment once I drop other plates and get exclusive

Why do you think you have this issue? Do you have any initial ideas about what you can do to improve on this?