Seem to have sparked attraction with the Man Eater

[STR8UP]

You have to admire the irony of all this. She thinks that men around her are the problem when that's only half the truth. Any decent man with self-esteem would not take this chick seriously, and so the cycle repeats itself, solidifying her distorted beliefs more and more.

You see, THIS is why I post. This is the kind of information that we exchange that is only brought to the surface when we take new situations and look at them from different angles.

You are exactly right. Even if I find myself attracted to her, that doesn't mean that I want any kind of a long term relationship. So if I WERE to get involved with a women like this in any capacity, it would eventually crumble and of course, she would blame "men" and the cycle would start over again.

What is even more interesting is that in the not too distant past, the same could be said of you... not nearly as extreme or caricature as this chick, but you definitely had some self-perpetuating beliefs that were clearly influencing your game... and not in a good way.

The thing is, I NEVER hated women, and I never blamed them for anything.

I did go through a dark time where everything seemed to be going wrong, and when that happens even outside of the dating scene it's easy to find more negatives in that aspect of life as well. Fact is, women don't want a man who is down. I was down. And I had a very rough dry spell with women. But that's just the way it is....

Word up.. if only we all could learn this lesson! ALL women will rattle your cage a bit and test how faze-able you are. It's their way of seeing how emotionally strong you are. The instant you get defensive or talk down to her, it's pretty much a wrap.. you failed the test because she GOT to you.

This was one of my biggest mistakes in the past. I was too quick to go to one extreme or another, rather than sit back and let it play out. And I got dumped several times because of it!

I have learned to keep my emotions in check, no matter what the situation. No more knee-jerk reactions. (Actually you could argue that I recently had a bit of a relapse, but oh well ) Now I try to just chill and let things slide unless it's something MAJOR. And if it IS something major, then it's usually time to walk away without a word.

When you can learn to do this women will be intrigued. Attraction will increase.

I have had a couple of women over the past few years comment to me about having kept my cool when they did something to try to get a rise out of me and I didn't give them the reaction they expected. And I can assure you that it didn't hurt my game one bit

 

[ketostix]

Even if I find myself attracted to her, that doesn't mean that I want any kind of a long term relationship. So if I WERE to get involved with a women like this in any capacity, it would eventually crumble and of course, she would blame "men" and the cycle would start over again.

This is the bottom line. You realize, and it's necessary to realize, that the girl in question most probably isn't relationship material. So she's only good for a roll in the hay. There's also the possibility, based on interacting with her more, that she's not as bad as she seems on the surface and might not really be a man-hater. So you're keeping your eyes open and letting it play out.

And isn't this what you were conveying in your OP? That's why I don't get some of the replies about women-hating and the like.

I have learned to keep my emotions in check, no matter what the situation. No more knee-jerk reactions. (Actually you could argue that I recently had a bit of a relapse, but oh well ) Now I try to just chill and let things slide unless it's something MAJOR. And if it IS something major, then it's usually time to walk away without a word.

When you can learn to do this women will be intrigued. Attraction will increase.

I have had a couple of women over the past few years comment to me about having kept my cool when they did something to try to get a rise out of me and I didn't give them the reaction they expected. And I can assure you that it didn't hurt my game one bit

I agree and this reasoning also best describes my thinking on the no sex girl.

 

[cordoncordon]

Here's to life getting better for you from here on out str8up!

I have confidence in you and so should you.

 

[potato]

You're right. I don't prescribe to the whole "Boys and girls should be segregated unless copulating" mentality that some of you do.

I agree. Almost always, when I go out, it is males and females. The whole idea of men and women being in different camps, from different planets, to me is counter productive to enjoyable social interactions.

In case you missed it....this is the chick who irritated the hell out of me in the past. That's what this whole thread was about!

But instead of talking about the dynamics of how this happened, everyone is focusing on the fact that I didn't have sex with her!

Until I thought about it a little more THE NEXT DAY, I didn't even realize that I might consider trying to hook up with this chick.

But I do apologize to everyone for posting about something other than getting laid. Sorry!

And again, not all interactions with women need to lead to sex. Actually hanging out with/socializing with women with whom there is no romantic/sexual interest can be quite beneficial in the long run. For instance, less approach anxiety.

+%+%+%+%+%+%+%+%+%+%+%+

Women who are described as men-eaters are intriguing to me. Typically they have the attitude that they can have and control almost any man. That is what leads to their poor social skills. They don’t need them to successfully attract men to them. I like to play their game back on them, like come onto them then walk away.

I often compare them to widow spiders, the spiders where the females eat the males after having sex with them. I’m guessing that is where the term man-eater comes from. The widow spiders are sexy with their shinny bodies and long thin legs. The successful males tend to be the ones that get in and get out before the female can bite him. In some species the successful males sticks one of his legs in the female’s mouth, preventing her from biting down, has sex, then gets out alive, at most losing a foot. But then he has 7 more.

Therein lays the secret to interacting with these women. Get in and get out before they have a chance to bite down on you. Which is really to say to keep your head and don’t let yourself get sucked into a position where she feels she can manipulate you. She’ll most likely never be loyal to you so be prepared to just walk away.

 

[Latinoman]

You're right. I don't prescribe to the whole "Boys and girls should be segregated unless copulating" mentality that some of you do.

Maybe next time I'm out with a mixed group of friends (which I was originally that night) and some ladies call me up I should tell them not to bother coming to hang out with me cause I don't do "girls night out".

BTW....these three chicks left the bar across the street that they had just paid a cover to get into to come over and pay another $10 each to get into the place I was already at to hang out with me. I'm not exactly a tagalong.

1- I don't prescribe on segregation either. Especially when people are going out as FRIENDS. But in your case it appears to be STR8up and MULTIPLE women (no men).

2- Going out with GIRLS and then THINKING those girls "want you" is ridiculous, especially if you NEVER go out ALONE with the woman that has the hots for you. Segregation is IMPORTANT when it comes to seduction...you most isolate that one woman you want.

3- How can you seduce a woman if she is with SEVERAL other women? Intimate moments can only be fruitful when take place between TWO people...not two people and an audience of people that know them. In that case, it becomes a SHOW.

4- You have more drama than a woman. And the reason is because you hang around with women. In fact, over 90% of the times it appears you are hanging around with women friends.

5- Those three chicks left the bar accross the street where they paid $10 (did they have to pay again?) to be with their "girl"friend. That does not mean they have the "hots" for you. It only means that they like hanging out with you. I have female friends that like talking to me and hanging around with me. But...I know I am a "girlfriend" to them. I mean, I am NOT phucking them.

Anyway...you don't listen...you don't follow advice...you don't even try.

 

[lookyoung]

This is golden and if I could I would rep you. . The sad thing is he will not follow your advice or anyone elses for that matter. Some people are stuck in there own world and STR8UP is one of them.

 

[STR8UP]

Don't know why I even bother trying to explain myself, but whatever...

1- I don't prescribe on segregation either. Especially when people are going out as FRIENDS. But in your case it appears to be STR8up and MULTIPLE women (no men).

I just don't get the whole attitude that you cannot spend time with a woman unless she's ugly. That's basically what you guys preach.

This goes right along with the whole "If you aren't fukking her, you are her girlfriend" way of thinking, which is great for training newbies who don't understand the difference between a woman who wants to fukk you and one who is stringing you along in the friend zone. This rule doesn't apply to a man who DOES NOT ACCEPT the friend zone, and understands how to use his connections with women to meet more women.

2- Going out with GIRLS and then THINKING those girls "want you" is ridiculous, especially if you NEVER go out ALONE with the woman that has the hots for you.

I didn't say THOSE GIRLS want me, I said that ONE of them is showing interest. Out of the three that night, the one I had just met pretty much kept to herself, and my friend seemed to have a case of the "what about me's" as she watched me and chicky flirting.

Segregation is IMPORTANT when it comes to seduction...you most isolate that one woman you want.

Of course. Nobody said any different. You hear what you want to hear. I have an encounter with a woman, and if I don't end up stuffing her taco that night, everyone jumps my ass.

3- How can you seduce a woman if she is with SEVERAL other women?

Every seduction STARTS somewhere. I get a steady supply of intros from being around other women.

4- You have more drama than a woman. And the reason is because you hang around with women. In fact, over 90% of the times it appears you are hanging around with women friends.

Where did you get "drama" from my post? WTF? You cats are seriously just LOOKING to pick things apart.

5- Those three chicks left the bar accross the street where they paid $10 (did they have to pay again?) to be with their "girl"friend. That does not mean they have the "hots" for you.

Dude...seriously....that's not what I said. My point was that I'm not out following women around. They wanted to hang out with ME so they came to where I was with another group of friends.

Why do people have such a hard time understanding what I write?

Anyway...you don't listen...you don't follow advice...you don't even try.

Hmmm.....I don't remember even asking for advice. Once again, the whole point of this post wasn't to get advice about a woman, it was to discuss the nature of attraction and how it is sometimes created in different ways.

But of course, nobody can talk about the subject at hand cause a few people are so busy misreading what I say and launching witch hunts.

And for the record, some of the advice you give is great, but to be honest you're not exactly one to adapt to the times and you are a serial boyfriend, things work different with me and you.

 

[lookyoung]

^^^^^^^^As I stated earlier he is in his own world.

 

[Latinoman]

I just don't get the whole attitude that you cannot spend time with a woman unless she's ugly. That's basically what you guys preach.

I am not preaching that. All I'm saying that unless you are not phucking her...you are her girlfriend.

This rule doesn't apply to a man who DOES NOT ACCEPT the friend zone, and understands how to use his connections with women to meet more women.

The sad thing here is that instead of HELPING you...they are probably taking away from the attraction. “Intrigue” is one of the things that women find extremely attractive. Your other girlfriends will take away from that “intriguing” aspect by providing too much information (many times the kind we do NOT want others to share).

I didn't say THOSE GIRLS want me, I said that ONE of them is showing interest. Out of the three that night, the one I had just met pretty much kept to herself, and my friend seemed to have a case of the "what about me's" as she watched me and chicky flirting.

Or maybe she was having just a good time and it means NOTHING.

Every seduction STARTS somewhere. I get a steady supply of intros from being around other women.

And I'm sure other women add to their network of girlfriends the same way.

Hmmm.....I don't remember even asking for advice. Once again, the whole point of this post wasn't to get advice about a woman, it was to discuss the nature of attraction and how it is sometimes created in different ways.

The point I am trying to make is that I don't think she was that attracted to you.

And for the record, some of the advice you give is great, but to be honest you're not exactly one to adapt to the times and you are a serial boyfriend, things work different with me and you.

Once again, you are assuming. And you are doing that with the wrong person.

I was married for a long time. I have cheated. I have been with women that are married or in ltr. I am currently in a relationship that is becoming LTR. And I have been in my share of ONS and FWB. With "have been" I mean...has phucked.

I divorced not more than 3 years ago.

If anything, I am as qualified to talk about the entire spectrum of relationships...including relationships with wives, lovers (affairs), married women, women with boyfriends, ons, LTR girlfriends, friends with benefits, and of course a psycho or two. I even have friendly relationships with some women that I consider JUST friends (some of them very attractive).

I don't have to adapt to the times (I let guys that watch "Friends" and "Everybody Loves Raymond" adapt). Masculinity transcend the times.

 

[Latinoman]

Observation

Anyway…what’s done is done.

Now, you might have to find a way to go to a couple more “group” things hoping that girl also comes (you might not be able to isolate her until you develop more trust). Then eventually try to isolate. I am not a big telephone or IM type of person. But I have no problems with email as it can take place during work (she is bored at her office)…and if you are good at it…you can be flirty with it. In a way…you are isolating her. You are providing a little bit more intriguing curiosity to her (something that won’t work if you have other women talking in your behalf).

The issue with meeting women that happen to be a friend of your female friends…is that it can actually back fire on you. You see? She is ALSO her friend. Furthermore, those females might have a concern of you two leaving the group (as most couples tend to spend lot of time together and alone getting to know each other) and consequently taking away from the dynamics of the group. Don’t think that you will be getting support from your female friends to take one of the “party girls” out of their group. So, be careful how you operate here.

You are not a bad looking man. Maybe she does not find you ugly. But my experience is that when a woman truly has the hots for a man…they do not perform in front of their other female friends. In fact, they might act a little shy or they might be a little more secretive. Or simply…the other extreme…crazy (as kissing or leaving the place with you).

That’s all I have to say.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

God, it's true. It's true.

 

[STR8UP]

I am not preaching that. All I'm saying that unless you are not phucking her...you are her girlfriend.

I wonder if you could find a MORE emasculating term for this?

Which is my point. You frame it as a bad thing, when for me and a few other guys I know, it works well.

The sad thing here is that instead of HELPING you...they are probably taking away from the attraction. “Intrigue” is one of the things that women find extremely attractive. Your other girlfriends will take away from that “intriguing” aspect by providing too much information (many times the kind we do NOT want others to share).

That is a good point.

I agree with you to an extent, HOWEVER.....at least in my situation. The social proof i get from being well liked and looked upon as a masculine, desirable male by a large group of women stokes the flames of the fire and constantly draws new women toward me.

The one thing that was holding me back for awhile is that I had not asserted my independence among each and every group of women I know, and there would always be one in the group who either likes me, or likes getting attention from me to the point where her "claim" on me would keep her friends relegated to the bench. Now that I am conscious of how this works I have managed to assert my status as being available with ALL of the women I know, and I have found that it then gives the friends of a female friend the green light to pursue.

Or maybe she was having just a good time and it means NOTHING.

Ok, for the last time, I have been around women long enough to know the difference between innocent flirting and indicators of attraction.

I had this conversation with my biz partner awhile back. We were talking about how certain chicks are friendly with the whole group, and others tend to zero in on one of the two of us. It's pretty easy to pick out which chick is attracted to me or to him just by the way she interacts with us. There is girl from this particular group that likes my biz partner. She is very pleasant to me, hugs me and all to say hello, but the vibe isn't there. So as soon as she's done saying hello to me she's over having a long convo with him, body language screams "I LIKE YOU!", etc. The man eater is exactly the opposite. She will have an animated discussion with me, focusing all of her attention my way, and she pretty much ignores him.

Bottom line- a woman who is flirting for the fun of it will spread it around the room. A woman who is attracted to you will focus her attention on YOU. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to pick this stuff out, really.

Once again, you are assuming. And you are doing that with the wrong person.

Ahhhh....the irony!

Now we're getting somewhere.

I'm making assumptions based up what i know of you, same as you are doing with me. I'm off base but you aren't? Maybe we BOTH don't know as much as we think we do about the other person....hmmmm......

I don't have to adapt to the times (I let guys that watch "Friends" and "Everybody Loves Raymond" adapt). Masculinity transcend the times.

This is an interesting point that I don't think has ever been brought up.

Masculinity does INDEED transcend the times. But the rules of socializing have changed along with technology. I'm sure CARS had a big impact on dating when they first became commonplace.

Fact of the matter is, making a wholesale statement that people who use social networking sites are "losers" simply makes you sound like you are out of touch. I would bet that in ten years there won't be too many people that share your attitude as it becomes more and more a part of people's lives.

You are implying that someone who uses internet dating, text messaging, IM, and social networking sites is not MASCULINE, and that's a crock.

It's all tools for communication, and as long as you are using them in the right CONTEXT there is nothing inherently UNmasculine about them.

 

[Latinoman]

STR8UP...if you listened for once...you would not be in this kind of predicament. You are too argumentative.

 

[reset]

S....Its seems like you got some closing anxiety.

Like your Good Will Hunting, you've been hurt in the past, you put yourself out there to a degree but never get involved at the next level because your afraid that if you do go to the next level, you'll end up hurt again or something....Its also possible if he lets his guard down, the neighbour across the hall might attack him with a knife, or if he lets his guard down, he might actually start to like a women instead of picking them all apart.My point is, he's too busy finding faults with all these women around him, instead of just enjoying their company. Women don't have to be Mother Theresa to be worthy of your time, you can enjoy their company, then ditch them, you don't have to marry every women you sleep it. However he's scared to take a chance, that he never escalates to the next level with women.

Not my thread but this is my issue. And this makes closing anxiety and opening anxiety the same thing. Isn't the close hinted at in the open?

I didn't want to get burned so I have learned to become kind of an arrogant prick to women, and I'm not going back. At least with shields I can go into battle. I always felt like the world was going to explode if I opened up so I've learned to shut the girls out. The weird thing is this is exactly what they are being attracted to. The more I force myself to at least act like I don't care the more attention I get.

Need to think about your post more.
Tired of looking at women as if they can choose how I feel about myself. Already changing, lol I had a dream I was starting to hook up with a chick and reminded myself to not get too attached too soon.

Back to topic at hand.

 

[Mr. Me]

Wow, this thread's still happening! Can someone start a thread on why we need to have a thread if we already understand the woman to be a "man eater" to begin with?

I am not preaching that. All I'm saying that unless you are not phucking her...you are her girlfriend.

I wonder if you could find a MORE emasculating term for this?

Hmmmm. You're her BEST girlfriend?

 

[ThunderMaverick]

That actually made me physically cringe just now. :nervous:

 

[Señor Fingers]

Hmmmm. You're her BEST girlfriend?

Naw, he's just her penis in a jar

 

[STR8UP]

STR8UP...if you listened for once...you would not be in this kind of predicament. You are too argumentative.

What "predicament"?

Where do you guys get this from?

Are you talking about my hot/cold feelings toward her?

There's no "situation". There's no "predicament". It just is.

 

[STR8UP]

Naw, he's just her penis in a jar

Amazing how much insight some of these comedians have into interpersonal relationships.

That's one of the best comedy clips I've seen.

 

[reset]

STR8UP, here's a hypothetical. And I'm not harping on you because I'm still developing inner game and everything. Not scoring (at this moment).

If you HAD fvcked this chick (or some of the others) do you think these threads would take off so much?

I was reading in another thread, about how after we screw the chick, it kind of leaves our system. We'll want to go to sleep or just eat or something, it's like sexual desire totally leaves us (for awhile). And yes I've experienced this myself.

I know it's not all about sex for you, but I wonder if my question makes sense. It's like the longer we go without that release, the details and the desire can get out of hand, moreso than if you would have "hit it" a little earlier.