Seem to have sparked attraction with the Man Eater

[ThunderMaverick]

Wow, I been down and out for over a year going through the worst time of my life, I'm FINALLY getting back on track, and everyone wants to kick me when I post about a chick who intrigues me?


My life has improved over the past few months, I'm getting my sh!t together, and the women are starting to come out of the woodwork again. And this is exactly what I DON'T need.

I really do need to find another place to discuss this stuff

OK that's it! Like you haven't kicked my ass in the past before! Get over yourself!

Really now ASK yourself if we're pulling all of this out of our asses or if it's not based on ANYTHING you've posted before.

And please, I posted things I knew was going to get me flak in the past (I still do) but I don't threaten NOT posting anymore. MOST post I make I get my ass kicked! I give them the story and they give me input. Simple!

Ok you know what?? No I agree with you. Get your life together. STOP POSTING YOUR STORIES. If it's so hard for you to take our opinions then share your views somewhere else. We're not going to stop calling it like we see it. Go find somewhere safer if it's less of a strain.




OUT!! OUT!!! GET OUT!!!

 

[Phyzzle]

Instead of "laying it on thicker" during the next night out with friends, just get her digits, and ask her out for drinks ONE-ON-ONE.

You just don't seem to like any of these women.

 

[Juando]

Lotsa drama here.

Without being condescending, STR8UP, I sympathize, can even see your side of things.

I'm "struggling" with a relationship now, a girl I wish had higher IL, but she blows my mind with things like the last time I saw her she opens with,
"so...if we were to live together...where would we live...what would it be like...
how many bedrooms..." and she was not kidding. Arrrgh.

The reason I mention her is because, despite all my uncertainty about her and my connection to her, you know what? I've fallen for her. And I don't think I will lose my head over her, thanks in large part to you guys here, but allowing myself to have those feelings, even to share them with her, has been very healing for me, healing for the me that hit a wall at 100mph when my ex left.

I could be totally nuts but my gut tells me that you could use a dose of that old fashioned infatuation, powerful feelings for a woman, not necessarily acted out in an AFC manner, but a time out where you could feel safe, feel love, bask in a connection that is mysterious and out of control, at least out of control enough to get you out of your head and maybe out of your fear.

 

[Juando]

Maybe not the woman in your OP...

 

[DavenJuan]

str8..

havent been on in awhile.. is this the same chick from the restaurant that called you out at dinner/lunch with the finger in your face?

 

[MacAvoy]

Wow, I been down and out for over a year going through the worst time of my life, I'm FINALLY getting back on track, and everyone wants to kick me when I post about a chick who intrigues me?

My life has improved over the past few months, I'm getting my sh!t together, and the women are starting to come out of the woodwork again. And this is exactly what I DON'T need.

I've been in the same boat as you, I feel for you, its not easy. I'm not the type to kick a man when he's down.

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that!

Sure you've had a tough year, you got screwed over royally. Are you going to let that stop you from living your life? You've got to put yourself out there again. You know what, you might get burned again, thats PART OF LIFE. However your smarter now and know what to watch out for. So go out there and do it.

Right now, your just interacting with these women to pretend that your still in the game. Well stop pretending and actually get in the game. When was the last time you went on an actual 1 on 1 date with a women?

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that!

Dude, you copied that quote from Rocky Balboa

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0479143/quotes

 

[STR8UP]

Does anyone here care about anything BUT getting laid? I mean, does that have to be the outcome with each and every interaction with a woman in order to post? If that's a new rule please let me know cause I didn't get the memo.

STOP POSTING YOUR STORIES.[/b]

Yea, every time do it gets worse and worse. Like the ONLY outcome to a situation is getting laid. I don't come on here complaining about not getting laid. And I'm not not NOT a woman hater by any sense of the word. I guess no matter what people are gonna take the limited info here and form an opinion. That's fine, I guess.

str8..

havent been on in awhile.. is this the same chick from the restaurant that called you out at dinner/lunch with the finger in your face?

Yes. That's what I feel makes this post worthy, despite the fact that I'm not posting how I had her on her knees swallowing my manhood later on that night.

Instead of "laying it on thicker" during the next night out with friends, just get her digits, and ask her out for drinks ONE-ON-ONE.

You just don't seem to like any of these women.

You misread my post. That's exactly what I said. I said I might get her ONE ON ONE and lay it on thick. I just have to be prepared to guide the whole interaction cause I'm not going to sit there and listen to her throwing out her little jabs about men, and I'm certainly not going to argue with her about it.

If I can manage to totally dominate the interaction like I did last weekend this should be fun.

 

[STR8UP]

When was the last time you went on an actual 1 on 1 date with a women?

Well, if you count lunch with the 22 yr old it was last Friday. I do get out on "dates" from time to time, although it isn't my preferred method for getting with women.

 

[MacAvoy]

Dude, you copied that quote from Rocky Balboa

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0479143/quotes

Yea I know, I've used it many times on this board. It wasn't an attempt to steal it as my own as it should be obvious.

 

[MacAvoy]

Does anyone here care about anything BUT getting laid? I mean, does that have to be the outcome with each and every interaction with a woman in order to post? If that's a new rule please let me know cause I didn't get the memo.

Not at all. The reason people pick on you is because your constantly interacting with women, you have the skills, but you NEVER make a move to try close. Its not that your not getting laid, its that your not attempting to.

Instead you give us a heap of reasons why women are not worthy. Which is why I stand by my previous comments in this thread.

I respect you as a man, I know you've got some great skills, in my opinion, your one of the best DJ's on the site but you've put yourself in a funk and have your blinders on.

Its time to start leaving your comfort zone and taking risks with women again.

 

[guru1000]

Wow, I been down and out for over a year going through the worst time of my life, I'm FINALLY getting back on track, and everyone wants to kick me when I post about a chick who intrigues me?

My life has improved over the past few months, I'm getting my sh!t together, and the women are starting to come out of the woodwork again. And this is exactly what I DON'T need.

I really do need to find another place to discuss this stuff

YO Str8up,

Do not seek VALIDATION or APPROVAL from ANYONE much less on an internet board.

Do not seek VALIDATION from the outside, PERIOD!

Do not EVER give CONTROL of your mind to another.

NEVER!

I PERSONALLY do not give 2 F*CKS of what anyone thinks of my cognitions or actions. I do not need their RESPECT or APPROVAL to be who I am. And with this, I do what I want, when I want without a second thought about criticism.

The FEAR OF CRITICISM is a powerful one. It alone can CRIPPLE and HANDCUFF you. This fear is a CRIME to humanity and has stopped many from attaining their goals.

Imagine for a second you stopped approaching because you FEARED what people around you would say. YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME!

Str8up, Do what you want and execute your plan without shame or concern.

It is never a HIT if you do not allow it to be. Give it no SIGNIFICANCE.

If you want to reach out , then take in what you want and toss out the rest.

Are you going to let posters on an internet board INFLUENCE you?

Learn from your mistakes BUT

BE YOU!

 

[MacAvoy]

Great post Guru

 

[Mr. Me]

Does anyone here care about anything BUT getting laid?

Yet your other current thread is all about how you expected sex in return for what's-her-name staying over, no?

But otherwise, yeah... there's a lot of emphasis on these forums with the perception that the entire goal of the Don Juan way of being is to score sex with as many women as possible (especially from the teenagers and twenty-somethings here, which probably reflects more about their hormones speaking than anything else) which is a far cry from the mentality this site seems to have had just a few years ago when Pook and Anti-Dump were posting.

I also contend that living with the aim of getting girls into bed actually makes these guys slaves to their own desires rather than masters of their lives, as it's a short term goal and not the best emphasis.

It serves just as much a purpose as a goal as does eating a heaping of apple pie with ice cream on top serves to a foodie. The experience feels amazing and it's a normal need of the body, but overall not the best goal.

We can see the effect of seeing sex as being the end all, for example, in your other thread, where she saw you as being an a$$hole, because you couldn't simply take a higher road and offer her a place to stay for a night or two without such strings attached. You even then doubted you had taken the proper stance.

But I think what posters are also reacting to in your threads, whether they realize it or not, is your tendency toward dramatization, magnifying molehill situations into mountains, reading much out of little actions, globalizing events and reasoning emotionally over things. This, for example:

Wow, I been down and out for over a year going through the worst time of my life, I'm FINALLY getting back on track, and everyone wants to kick me when I post about a chick who intrigues me?

My life has improved over the past few months, I'm getting my sh!t together, and the women are starting to come out of the woodwork again. And this is exactly what I DON'T need.

I really do need to find another place to discuss this stuff

...if it came out of the mouth of a woman, we might recognize it as being like something a Drama Queen might say. There may be something going on with you that has to do with your personality (can't say, I wouldn't know if you've always been this way), or perhaps it has to do your current mental state of well being?

This is not to knock you. It's what I'm seeing, hence my opinion only, and maybe food for thought.

 

[STR8UP]

YO Str8up,

Do not seek VALIDATION or APPROVAL from ANYONE much less on an internet board.

Do not seek VALIDATION from the outside, PERIOD!

It's not about validation or approval.

I come here to discuss situations with women and all I get is "Oh man yet another STR8UP thread" which makes me wonder why i bother to post.

Actually I KNOW why I post. It's because I enjoy dissecting my interactions with women, and I learn a LOT from it. It's also an outlet. Somewhere to vent if I DO have something negative to say, since I don't share these kinds of things with people in real life.

But it's getting old to post something, and if I'm not posting about how I banged some chick it's like "here we go again!". And it's getting worse every time. If it's 50/50 people wanting to join in on the discussion vs. blasting me...ok. But lately it's 75% blasting me, and if I can't have a discussion about it then why bother posting? It getting to that point.

 

[STR8UP]

Yet your other current thread is all about how you expected sex in return for what's-her-name staying over, no?

See, I just don't know where you guys get this stuff from.

My other post was CLEARLY not about that. It wasn't about trading sex for a place to crash. It was about not allowing myself to be put into a chicks frame. Cause as soon as that happens you're dead in the water.

 

[lookyoung]

STR8UP you need to start being honest with yourself. You have had girls sleep in your bed and have not fvcked them. You have fingered girls and have not fvcked them. You have a serious problem closing the fvcking deal. Don't come in here and try too say everything is not about getting laid.

When you finger a girl you fvck her. When a girl sleeps in your bed you fvck her. If a girl shows you her pu$$Y you fvck her. It seems to me your attracted to everyone of these girls yet you don't close any deals. It sounds to me like you haven't been closing any deals.

People have been patient with your threads. THey have given you the best advice that anyone here as ever got, yet you still come in with the same BS. Its time to grow up and BE A MAN. Your 36 fvcking years old and are a man. Start acting like it instead of acting like a high school girl on her period.

I am sorry but I have to be honest with this guy. I am not on here to make friends and honest love is better than feeding this guy BS and saying your doing a great job STR8UP.

 

[cordoncordon]

Two things.

First, you don't even like this girl so I don't know why you are even wasting your time. You just don't have any other options right now I guess. But if you want to try and fvck her just ask her out and try. But don't put in too much effort imo.

Secondly, like I told you 5 months ago, I highly highly recommend finding a nice, sweet, MATURE woman that you LIKE spending time with, that is more your age, that isn't into hard core partying, and that can offer you something other than a night out partying and an unfulfilled hard on!

 

[cordoncordon]

STR8UP you need to start being honest with yourself. You have had girls sleep in your bed and have not fvcked them. You have fingered girls and have not fvcked them. You have a serious problem closing the fvcking deal. Don't come in here and try too say everything is not about getting laid.

When you finger a girl you fvck her. When a girl sleeps in your bed you fvck her. If a girl shows you her pu$$Y you fvck her. It seems to me your attracted to everyone of these girls yet you don't close any deals. It sounds to me like you haven't been closing any deals.

People have been patient with your threads. THey have given you the best advice that anyone here as ever got, yet you still come in with the same BS. Its time to grow up and BE A MAN. Your 36 fvcking years old and are a man. Start acting like it instead of acting like a high school girl on her period.

I am sorry but I have to be honest with this guy. I am not on here to make friends and honest love is better than feeding this guy BS and saying your doing a great job STR8UP.

Very well said. I think if it was a new poster who was posting what str8up has been for the past year he would have been run out of here long ago.

Str8up no one is saying you are an idiot. We may think you act like one at times with these various women but you seem like a super nice guy and most everyone here likes you which is why we all respond to your threads and try to help or offer an opinion.

I think you are just wasting away right now. With work, with women, with your life. You seem to have no focus or direction. You keep talking about these women that I don't even think you really even like. I just think they are taking up time for you right now. I can tell from your posts, and you may or may not admit this, but I can tell that you really REALLY want a serious relationship with a quality woman. These aren't it.

It's time to change things up. Get a more positive attitude towards women in general. Lose the attitude with them that you seem to have. Not saying you need to be a pushover, but just be......happier when around them. Lose the drama. Start dating and going out with WOMEN, not children or hor's. Start dating college educated, professional women. They are out there. I really think much of your issues with women stem from the type of people that you seem to hang with and your job. It's a very clubby, party, skanky type of crowd. Lots of drinking, drugs, promiscuis sex. That can all be fun here and there, but you don't want to make that a lifestyle.

If you want to get married some day and start a family, you are going to have to start looking at women outside your normal social circle, because right now that circle seems to be holding you back bigtime.

 

[Mr. Me]

See, I just don't know where you guys get this stuff from.

Oh, from you. Besides all the comments you posted that touched on sex specifically in that thread, this one caught my attention:

"But the thought that I might have burned a bridge over something so trivial..."

What was the "trivial" matter this was all about? Was it about you being sucked into her "frame", because you also suspected that she may be there to see her alleged ex-boyfriend, but that wasn't something that was a point of contention for you, as it rightly could be, and should be, given that you speak much about how she should be relationship-wise toward you at this point in your interactions.

And I'm sure she has other things she wishes to partake of and things she wishes to abstain from while she's at your place and in town, but those didn't strike your nerve either. Sex did. Or rather, her saying she'd withhold sex from you.

You made arguments that, because she was making sounds as if interested in having a relationship with you lately, that having sex should be a given (rationalizing that your previous sexual experiences with her laid a basis for that, no pun intended) while overlooking the fact that said new relationship is indeed, if it were to happen, a NEW relationship, not the old one, AND hadn't actualized yet in reality, so, sex is NOT a given if it's a part of that yet-to-come new relationship. It's merely a prerogative at this point, much like the possible new relationship.

And when you make an offer, such as to invite someone to stay at your place, that's a gift. And with true gift giving, there are no strings attached, be it her frame, your frame, sex, no sex... you can only have personal boundaries, not impositions. The other person accepting the gift is not expected to do anything in return except to respect your gift accordingly. In this case that would mean not trashing your place and/or being a burden, or overstaying her welcome or eating you out of house and home or inviting 50 of her friends over for an impromptu party, and such things. Giving it up isn't a part of that gift.

The title for that thread was appropriate and also indicative of what really triggered you, as it proclaims it was about a "chick withholding sex". So, yeah, I get this stuff... but from you.

If you went to therapy, they may tell you things about yourself that feels like a kick in the pants. But it's meant to help, and sometimes truth is painful. Growing pains are painful. Birth is painful. We also learn from life's painful lessons. But if all you want are a bunch of yes men, then LoveShack. org may serve you better.

So anyway, in this thread, what's going on? You're swimming with the shark again and liking the interplay. Until of course the shark bites you... again... and you come screaming bloody murder about those nasty fishies.