Saw A Woman Cold Approach A Guy Today

[PRW63]

I was there with a group of friends including someone else I had been seeing recently but who was completely sideways that night (behavior I was already weary of dealing with)…and that dude was on such thin ice that I had told him earlier the same evening I wasn’t going to deal with it anymore…so of course he doubled down…and went to go flirt outrageously with other women. I thought “Cool. I’ll chat with this guy. He’s interesting…”

That is why I always tell guys to never ask if she has a BF. It is weak, timid. You never know if the so-called BF has one foot out the door already and you just might the excuse she is looking for. But if you ask,...she has to say, "Yea, he's right over there",.....awkward,.... and you are now out of the game. What happens between her and a guy she was seeing five minutes ago is between them,...none of your business. Your job is to give her an opportunity and up to her to decide if she wants to take it.

 

[BeExcellent]

That is why I always tell guys to never ask if she has a BF. It is weak, timid. You never know if the so-called BF has one foot out the door already and you just might the excuse she is looking for. But if you ask,...she has to say, "Yea, he's right over there",.....awkward,.... and you are now out of the game. What happens between her and a guy she was seeing five minutes ago is between them,...none of your business. You job is to give her an opportunity and up to her to decide if she wants to take it.

He did tell me he thought I must be married. He was delighted to discover I was not.

 

[DonJuanjr]

There is a difference between her walking up and introducing herself and letting him know she exists...--vs-- asking the guy out and "being the man" in the situation.

What you originally wrote a retort to, was zimbabwe asking about if a female approached. So that's why I posed the question. Now you're talking about if a female does the asking out. Personally, I wouldn't mind if a female does either. If she tries to take on a masculine role throughout our interaction, I'll just kick her to the curb.

 

[jimwho]

It's been my experience that women showing (glaringly obvious) interest, or asking you out
Has not come close to "being the man" I sense women see something shiny and new and they want to pick it up like anyone else. Myself, I give women openings to show interest before I lay on the charm. It's what works for me. Plus now that I'm older, I can't be the
creepy guy if they show interest.


As for the OP story it sounds a bit suspect or spooky in a street smarts kind of way. Like the
Guys girlfriend put her up to it for a test??? Who knows.

 

[metalwater]

He is cute. He is sexy. He is hot. He is handsome AF. He is slightly sly, very silly and he’s sweet. All the above. But I know him now.

When I first saw him I thought “He’s cute” but I didn’t think much else about it. But I needed a refill on my drink and the spot next to him was (purposely by his account) clear of people, so that was the logical place to get a drink order to the bartender. I asked him how his night was going more out of my normal social modus operandi and when he engaged the conversation I realized he liked me.

I was there with a group of friends including someone else I had been seeing recently but who was completely sideways that night (behavior I was already weary of dealing with)…and that dude was on such thin ice that I had told him earlier the same evening I wasn’t going to deal with it anymore…so of course he doubled down…and went to go flirt outrageously with other women. I thought “Cool. I’ll chat with this guy. He’s interesting…”

cool, all those words are like cute. so you picked a new guy before exiting the thin ice dude, I think this is the normal way.

 

[PRW63]

What you originally wrote a retort to, was zimbabwe asking about if a female approached.

I can barely remember yesterday

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I will wait until I see her a couple times before I approach regardless of her interest level, if she trys to talk to me ill blow her off, she will receive me regardless or she will not, I'm in no rush for the attention of any woman and they know it

 

[Hamurabimbi]

“I’m not interested.” Is pretty rough. I’ve used “Thanks, but my girlfriend probably wouldn’t appreciate that.” I have been cold approached several times. I’m short. I got the ‘you’re gay’ once. But the circumstances were quite different.

 

[2Rocky]

“I’m not interested.” Is pretty rough. I’ve used “Thanks, but my girlfriend probably wouldn’t appreciate that.” I have been cold approached several times. I’m short. I got the ‘you’re gay’ once. But the circumstances were quite different.

Mine was " I'm headed home to a woman I love very much. But thanks for saying something." It takes all the rejection off them. and reinforces that "All the good ones are taken".

The nice thing about "a woman I love very much" is that it could cover a wide variety of situations. If you don't find the woman attractive, you could mean your mom and be sincere about it without lying. And what woman could fault you for being a loving partner?

Always leave women better than you found them guys.

 

[characternote]

My wingman gets approached a LOT! At night time it's like maybe 5 times per night, and I think it's happened to him in the day too, but very rare, and typically with older women who don't stand a shot lol

The most common openers i've seen girls use on him is pretending to recognise him.

He typically is always polite and chats even when he isn't interested. A lot of the time he's kind of dodging kisses like Tyson Fury if it's in a club or something with a slightly drunk girl who is trying hard to 'seduce' him and it's pretty funny

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Mine was " I'm headed home to a woman I love very much. But thanks for saying something." It takes all the rejection off them. and reinforces that "All the good ones are taken".

The nice thing about "a woman I love very much" is that it could cover a wide variety of situations. If you don't find the woman attractive, you could mean your mom and be sincere about it without lying. And what woman could fault you for being a loving partner?

Always leave women better than you found them guys.

i’ve honestly had an SO each time I’ve used the line.

 

[mrskinnypantz]

My brother is 6'6 and gets cold approached often. The height factor is real. Guys reading this can deny this fact as much as much as they want but height gives you a massive advantage.

I even ran a social experiment once and wore lifted shows to make me 6'6. I went out clubbing that night and the difference was very noticeable in the way women would look at me and treat me. My 6'6 brother was with me and even said wow that girl looked you up and down and just ignored me. Then he said too bad you need those lifted shoes. Hahaha I said well im 6'2 really so im happy with that. Sure enough i pulled that night as well frlm a girl who approached me. The shoes were uncomfortable asf because i had to stuff them with stuff as well to increase height. I should do that experiment more often lol.

The height factor is very real, anything over 6’ is the winning zone .
You can still slay if you’re shorter tho, but it’s not gonna be as easy

 

[Zimbabwe]

And the lifts? Stuffing your shoes with whatever to make you appear taller?

Do woman actually respond positively to that? Apparently they do which is why you do it.

It gives average height guys a chance to bang a girl who would otherwise dismiss them for height alone.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

Happens to me. Usually women I'm not interested in, and/or they don't understand my playfulness. One dead-pan asked me if I had a girlfriend. I said "I have room for one more that can cook", and she just ended the interaction.

 

[zinc4]

Fair enough, as I said at the end of my post, I am just surprised by it. Not my scene, nor my friends but we don't speak for all women obviously.

I would much prefer a shorter man with a knockout sexy as hell physique to a taller man who was awkward and/or wearing lifts.

To each his own.

You wouldnt know it in the first place lol. Not like they are going to up and tell you.

 

[mrskinnypantz]

Ok guys, I am trying REAL hard to imagine what you experience with respect to height. I believe what you say but it's pretty far removed from what attracts me personally and my friends.

Like last weekend for example, I met a guy who must have been around 6'3" or 6'4", way too tall, he was gawky as hell, didn't stand straight, was too skinny, okay face but in truth his height and everything that went with turned me OFF.

And the lifts? Stuffing your shoes with whatever to make you appear taller?

Do woman actually respond positively to that? Apparently they do which is why you do it.

But seriously, don't you feel silly?

Not a judgment, just asking. I think it's different from dressing stylishly, wearing a sexy cologne or women wearing makeup, short skirt, etc. But we all do what works, if the lifts or stuffing work for you, more power to ya.

I am just surprised by it, that's all.

If 6’3-6’4 is too tall for you..
You must be 5’ or shorter?
but not all women care about height, and height is not a license to be lazy and out of shape either.
As far as those lift shoes go I wouldn’t go near em , cause I wouldn’t like taking them off and coming back down.

 

[Bokanovsky]

The nice thing about "a woman I love very much" is that it could cover a wide variety of situations. If you don't find the woman attractive, you could mean your mom and be sincere about it without lying. And what woman could fault you for being a loving partner?

Thanks, I had a good chuckle out of this one Unless you love your mother in ways that are illegal in most states, how on earth could that line be "sincere"? It's like bragging to your friends about picking up a girl when in reality you picked her up from the train station...as part of your job as an uber driver...lol.

 

[mrskinnypantz]

have a friend, she is 5'1". Will not look twice at a man who is under 6 feet minimum!! Preferably

Usually girls just want a man taller than her ,now 6 foot is a standard minimum .
6 foot is actually pretty small , look at 6 feet from a distance and it’s not that tall. Now 6’4 is TALL

 

[IKO69]

I have, but direct approaches from the women have been very rare. It has happened maybe a handful of times over the course of my life. The first time it happened I was a then green 20 year old in the computer lab at school. I took an available computer next to this girl because I had to edit an essay that was due that day. After some time she peered over and asked what I was writing about. I told her then she point blank told me I should write her essay instead. The comment caught me completely off guard at the time and I was like no I am not going to write your essay for you. She laughed and said she was just kidding then she made a comment about my shirt, it was band shirt might have been Guns n Roses, she was familiar with them. We talked for a bit more then it was time for her to go, she had class. She scribbled her number on a piece of paper and gave it to me. She told me she was going to be leaving for Texas at the end of the semester and I should call her sometime so we could hang out, listen to music or do other things.

At the time I was stunned because it had completely turned everything I knew upside down on its head lol I was naive as f*ck back then.

This is what I define as a genuine, direct cold approach from a woman. Stuff like this has happened only maybe a handful of times to me. Mostly interested females have smiled at me across a room or something or they opened me under a false pretense. Typically haven't made it as easy as said computer lab girl.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I dont like girls to be so bold and behave like a man because cold approaching is a man behaviour.

I had girls making it totally clear that they were into me but waited for me to make the move thankfully.

I'm more than fine with taking action, taking risks or rejection or time wasting but I'm not fine with random women making attempt at me...actually if a woman I find pretty makes such bald attempt, it would probably work against her.

Also if you reject a woman, the amount of drama and bullsh1t coming back at you is simply too much...especially if she needs to involve the hive as if not being interested was an insult to her.