Regaining power in a relationship.

[itishe]

Long ass summary of last night

Well boys, I texted her last Thursday wishing her a Happy Thanksgiving because I wanted to melt some hostilities between us.

Then Friday I sent her a text asking if she still wanted me to come with her friend to pick her up at the airport in a city five hours away as we had originally planned when we were still going out.

"Do you still want me to come down with Carly and get you?"

she replies a day later with:

"Whatever, it's up to you"

so I says:

"Fine, **** it"

Then basically she sends me this long ass text stating how she's trying to be nice but I'm making it hard so I reply with, "whatever".

Then she goes on to say, "you know what maybe it's better if you don't come along".

To which I reply "yeah, that's why I said **** it".

She then proceeds to call me an ******* and how I made her day with her family worse. I told her to not put me on a guilt trip, and I didn't appreciate her attitude and indifference when I try to make things cool between us.

After about six hours I finally think to myself what a jerk I was and try talking to her so I can possibly apologize. Her friend answers and tells me that she's not there and she'll have her call me back when she comes. Thirty minutes later I send her a text asking if I can please talk with you. She replies with, "what do you care, remember what you said... '**** it'".

I try calling her again after another thirty minutes or so and her friend again answers and says she's busy and can't talk right now. I send her another text saying I was basically a ****head and that she didn't deserve such an emotional downslide. Her friend calls me about ten minutes later saying she'll have my ex call me in a little bit, I say that I"ll probably be sleeping, but she can call if she wants.

She does end up calling later, when I was indeed sleeping and then proceeds to send me a text saying, "u didn't answer, i'm drunk. i never meant to hurt u, you probably don't care anyway".

I text her back saying that I was sleeping and this situation is really affecting me. I return home from a party to see I have a new myspace message as well. In it she's pretty drunk and proceeds to tell me that I made her cry infront of her family, etc. but to give her a call when she's sober so we can talk.

-------------
What I want

I really like this girl and want to give it another shot when she gets back, but I have a feeling I ****ed it up pretty bad. I'll apologize to her and try to talk to her and see what happens from there.

 

[nednaw]

The reason your feeling the way you do now is because you haven't done that have you?

Your sitting in every night thinking and wondering about one woman when there are thousands more out there screaming for a guy like you.

Get real, move on, no contact whatsoever.

Chances are, if you don't contact her she will contact you, eventually... BECAUSE YOU HAVE GIVEN HER THE PLEASURE OF MISSING YOU.

By that time you will have turned back into the strong confident independent guy she met, the one she felt attracted to.

By that time you won't give a flying crap what she thinks

So it will work out either way for YOU.

The House of nEdNaW

P.S Totty is the UK for good looking girl....

 

[itishe]

I know that man, but the thing is I feel I atleast should get my apology in and let it go from there. If anything she was a cool chick before we started going out and at the very least I don't want to lose a friendship out of this.

 

[IamRAMBO]

I don't think you should of broken up with her.

Long distance relationships are great: you can get some tail and she won't know about it.

By the time you see her she'll be so wet you can probably bang her with a football.

 

[IamRAMBO]

Long ass summary of last night

Well boys, I texted her last Thursday wishing her a Happy Thanksgiving because I wanted to melt some hostilities between us.

Then Friday I sent her a text asking if she still wanted me to come with her friend to pick her up at the airport in a city five hours away as we had originally planned when we were still going out.

"Do you still want me to come down with Carly and get you?"

she replies a day later with:

"Whatever, it's up to you"

so I says:

"Fine, **** it"

Then basically she sends me this long ass text stating how she's trying to be nice but I'm making it hard so I reply with, "whatever".

Then she goes on to say, "you know what maybe it's better if you don't come along".

To which I reply "yeah, that's why I said **** it".

She then proceeds to call me an ******* and how I made her day with her family worse. I told her to not put me on a guilt trip, and I didn't appreciate her attitude and indifference when I try to make things cool between us.

After about six hours I finally think to myself what a jerk I was and try talking to her so I can possibly apologize. Her friend answers and tells me that she's not there and she'll have her call me back when she comes. Thirty minutes later I send her a text asking if I can please talk with you. She replies with, "what do you care, remember what you said... '**** it'".

I try calling her again after another thirty minutes or so and her friend again answers and says she's busy and can't talk right now. I send her another text saying I was basically a ****head and that she didn't deserve such an emotional downslide. Her friend calls me about ten minutes later saying she'll have my ex call me in a little bit, I say that I"ll probably be sleeping, but she can call if she wants.

She does end up calling later, when I was indeed sleeping and then proceeds to send me a text saying, "u didn't answer, i'm drunk. i never meant to hurt u, you probably don't care anyway".

I text her back saying that I was sleeping and this situation is really affecting me. I return home from a party to see I have a new myspace message as well. In it she's pretty drunk and proceeds to tell me that I made her cry infront of her family, etc. but to give her a call when she's sober so we can talk.

-------------
What I want

I really like this girl and want to give it another shot when she gets back, but I have a feeling I ****ed it up pretty bad. I'll apologize to her and try to talk to her and see what happens from there.

I just read that.

So much for your vows.

You are doing a couple of things wrong and this is going to affect the way she thinks of you.

1. She wants to break up with you. I don't care what her excuse is. It does not matter. IF A GIRL TRULY LIKES YOU SHE IS GOING TO TRY TO MAKE IT WORK NO MATTER WHAT. She's only being nice by saying what she's saying. If she's not riding a new horse already, she's probably got the saddle out of the barnyard ... accept this as fact and start putting your guard up.

2. Right now you are going through a phase where you are putting up your defense shield. This is where you seperate the men from the boys.

If your defense is to lash out, it is a weakness. This shows the girl that you are hurt, hence weak and insecure.

First thing you should do: don't fight with her.

The best thing to do is to not care. Don't call her. Don't cry in front of her. Don't do anything drastic; just shut her off.

For some reason, "not caring" is like a pussy magnet .. where it attracts the girls.

Girls barely know how they feel because they are so superficial. Everything to them is a reaction formation .. meaning they always mean the opposite of how they truly feel ..

Go against your feelings. Use your head more in situations like this. Be a jerk. If you don't, she'll find another guy who will treat her like sh*t.

 

[itishe]

Don't even apologize eh?

 

[itishe]

Well I tried calling her once tonight to tell her I overreacted and I was a ****.

She didn't answer, so that's that. I will here by solemnly swear my nutsack and all of it's contents to this community if I try to make contact with her again. She can call me now. I've made multiple attempts to try to tell her that I was a bastard and she's shot down each one so screw it. I repeat SHE CAN CALL ME NOW.

I think I'm finally waking up to what an afc chump ass ***** I've been.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

Stop it already. It's over. You made a vow and broke it. Don't let it happen again. Cut it with the msn sh*t.

 

[Obsidian]

seriously man your re-unification attempts with this girl were pretty pathetic...Quit messing with the situation. You know how the police tell you that you have the right to remain silent before they take you to jail? This is kind of like that. You're only making things worse for yourself.

You say you want to maintain the "friendship"? Screw that. No you don't.

 

[The_Lifter]

Cut her off completely. If you wanted her out of your life, get her the **** out of your life.

 

[itishe]

As I already said I'm beginning to see things clearly and I don't even want to want to make contact with her now. Hence I don't plan on doing so.

 

[medicinemc2]

From reading these posts, it seems to me that your being way too hard on yourself. So lets get some things straight. First thing you need to do is engrave in your head is that SHE broke up with you. Therefore, she is the jerk and not you. When you say that you wanted to apologize, why the hell would you have to apologize when she's the one who has thrown everything away! It is she who turned her back on you. Thus, you don't owe her any apology...what you did was a reaction for her not caring about you the way you care about her. If anyone is to apologize here it's her.

On second note, you need to cut this girl off and never talk to her again (at least for a very long time). If you continue to talk to her, all that will do is continue to remind you of the pain. Right now you have a dager in your heart, you can either pull it out slowly and sometimes push it back in or just pull it out really quick and forget everything. And that's what you need to do! You need to end it. Forget the closure or anything else, right now she is being so selfish that whatever you say won't be acknowledged. So don't even waste your breath. So grab the memories (pics, letters, etc) and throw them all away. Never talk to her again via any form of communication and move on. She wants a break, so give it to her. Don't mean to sound cold but realistically this is over. F*ck friendship, why would you want to be friends with someone like this anyway. She has changed and this new person is not worthy of your friendship, let alone a relationship. She is a selfish bi*ch, and soon life will make her pay for that.

You might be in a lot of pain right now but just keep in mind that you will eventually make it out of this hell. This is simply life testing your strength and your ability to focus on yourself. Remember, it's not about how many times you fall, rather how many times you get up. Think of yourself as Rocky Balboa. You got knocked out, but now your going to get up with a stronger heart than you did before. Remember that those who are good in life, always prevail. There is something better for you down the road, I promise. However, for you to get it you need to go through some obstacle so you can truly appreciate the prize at the end of the road. Good luck, listen to what I said (cut it off), and stay strong!

 

[Cod3r]

"Do you still want me to come down with Carly and get you?"

she replies a day later with:

"Whatever, it's up to you"

so I says:

"Fine, **** it"

Then basically she sends me this long ass text stating how she's trying to be nice but I'm making it hard so I reply with, "whatever".

Then she goes on to say, "you know what maybe it's better if you don't come along".

To which I reply "yeah, that's why I said **** it".

She then proceeds to call me an ******* and how I made her day with her family worse. I told her to not put me on a guilt trip, and I didn't appreciate her attitude and indifference when I try to make things cool between us.

After about six hours I finally think to myself what a jerk I was and try talking to her so I can possibly apologize. Her friend answers and tells me that she's not there and she'll have her call me back when she comes. Thirty minutes later I send her a text asking if I can please talk with you. She replies with, "what do you care, remember what you said... '**** it'".

Read that over... u sound like a b!tch bro...

That's the problem with 90% of the guys here who don't get laid, you're acting like b!tches, just stop it... i used to think it was cliche, but its the truth... BE A MAN... jeez


-Cod3r

 

[md3sign]

That was a lot of AFC behavior I read earlier. It's ok I did it too a few years back. Women are men's weakness. But, like others said, you need to get her out of your life completely. Don't call, remove her from your MSN list, just don't think about her. It's hard, we've all been there, and I've done much much worse myself.

Do this, and 1 of 2 things will happen, both of which will be good for you:

1) you'll forget about her and move on and it won't bother you anymore.

2) she'll come back to you and now YOU have the power and you can do as you please. but like that guy said LDRs have advantages if you're ok with something else on the side, otherwise they're not worth it IMO

 

[mrRuckus]

MOVE ON

IT'S THE END

MOVE ON

SOON after you do she's going to feel completely rejected. She'll be in disbelief that you don't care anymore so quickly. She'll be leaving you msgs and stuff trying to pull you back into her web to validate herself. DON'T DO IT.

But fvck it.. you won't listen.

 

[itishe]

Nah guys I honestly don't give a **** anymore. The first couple days at the end of the relationship I was really in disbelief, and I felt that I could repair it by being all romantic and ****. I honestly could give two ****s if I talk to her in a long while.

 

[itishe]

Things are going well folks! Since the break up I've been putting more energy into things that actually matter and that suffered during the relationship. Things such as my homework, bass guitar, and on, and on, and on.

I tried to get myself back on the ball last night. At a party I did alot of interacting and even managed to get some kino in on a few chicks. Although I didn't get any ass, I feel like it's a first step into recovery .

 

[THE_ADDMAN]

Long ass summary of last night

Well boys, I texted her last Thursday wishing her a Happy Thanksgiving because I wanted to melt some hostilities between us.

Then Friday I sent her a text asking if she still wanted me to come with her friend to pick her up at the airport in a city five hours away as we had originally planned when we were still going out.

"Do you still want me to come down with Carly and get you?"

she replies a day later with:

"Whatever, it's up to you"

so I says:

"Fine, **** it"

Then basically she sends me this long ass text stating how she's trying to be nice but I'm making it hard so I reply with, "whatever".

Then she goes on to say, "you know what maybe it's better if you don't come along".

To which I reply "yeah, that's why I said **** it".

She then proceeds to call me an ******* and how I made her day with her family worse. I told her to not put me on a guilt trip, and I didn't appreciate her attitude and indifference when I try to make things cool between us.

After about six hours I finally think to myself what a jerk I was and try talking to her so I can possibly apologize. Her friend answers and tells me that she's not there and she'll have her call me back when she comes. Thirty minutes later I send her a text asking if I can please talk with you. She replies with, "what do you care, remember what you said... '**** it'".

I try calling her again after another thirty minutes or so and her friend again answers and says she's busy and can't talk right now. I send her another text saying I was basically a ****head and that she didn't deserve such an emotional downslide. Her friend calls me about ten minutes later saying she'll have my ex call me in a little bit, I say that I"ll probably be sleeping, but she can call if she wants.

She does end up calling later, when I was indeed sleeping and then proceeds to send me a text saying, "u didn't answer, i'm drunk. i never meant to hurt u, you probably don't care anyway".

I text her back saying that I was sleeping and this situation is really affecting me. I return home from a party to see I have a new myspace message as well. In it she's pretty drunk and proceeds to tell me that I made her cry infront of her family, etc. but to give her a call when she's sober so we can talk.

-------------
What I want

I really like this girl and want to give it another shot when she gets back, but I have a feeling I ****ed it up pretty bad. I'll apologize to her and try to talk to her and see what happens from there.

YOU ARE SOCIALLY CONDITIONED TO FEEL LIKE THE BAD GUY IN ANY DISAGREEMENT WITH A WOMAN. its the truth.

She wants you to feel like an *******, because then you'll bend and break and come crawling back apologizing. And she'll have the power

Dont say "whatever". thats the quote of passive aggressiveness

if she texts/msgs/says something you dont like, dont even respond to it

 

[mrRuckus]

YOU ARE SOCIALLY CONDITIONED TO FEEL LIKE THE BAD GUY IN ANY DISAGREEMENT WITH A WOMAN. its the truth.

You're right.

And everyone automatically assumes you are the wrong one. A woman will stomp off mad in public and everythign says/thinks "i wonder what he did to her."

Then you feel kinda dumb even though you really didn't do anything.

 

[itishe]

You guys were right, she would eventually would come back and try to re-establish contact.

Just a few minutes ago, she says she just wanted to drop in and say hi and asks me how the Gn'R concert was, etc. I didn't pay much attention to her and told her I was leaving to take a shower.