Regaining power in a relationship.

[THE_ADDMAN]

You're right.

And everyone automatically assumes you are the wrong one. A woman will stomp off mad in public and everythign says/thinks "i wonder what he did to her."

Then you feel kinda dumb even though you really didn't do anything.

Its a horrible thing. My mom actually used to did that.


I was doing karate at the time, and she was coming up "ooh so you're a tough guy huh? huh?" and she was kind of playfully shoving me (was getting annoying though)

so I blocked it with my arm, and her hand hit my forearm bone

she said "... you hurt me "
And I actually felt bad for doing it.

few mins later, I started thinking logically... I had no reason to feel bad about it! she was doing it and I blocked it.

but it goes to show you, that conditioning is very potent.

 

[itishe]

I don't know what her intentions are, but I plan on not contacting her instead I plan on letting her contact me again atleast one more time.

 

[itishe]

I just remembered she's heading back on the 15th of December (most likely why she started talking again before she came back), should I let her contact me again once more, or talk to her since she already re-established contact?

 

[itishe]

Quick to tell me how I ****ed up, but slow to offer guidance when my course is going alright...

Here is the convo log from when she messaged me:

11:54 PM) Her: hey
(11:56 PM) Me: hey what's up?
(11:56 PM) h: okay see ya
(11:56 PM) h: not much, i was just about to leave
(11:56 PM) H: just thought i'd say hi
(11:56 PM) m: oh, alright, talk to ya later then
(11:56 PM) h: what's up?
(11:57 PM) M: nothing, was about to hit the shower actually
(11:57 PM) H: oh
(11:57 PM) H: sounds fun
(11:57 PM) H: how was gnr?
(11:57 PM) m: straight up ****ing mind blowing
(11:58 PM) H:i figured it would be
(11:58 PM) M:: nothing like seeing Axl wiggle around
(11:59 PM) M: I'm gonna get going, havn't been feeling well. I'll talk to ya later
(11:59 PM) H:i'm sure there IS nothing like that
(11:59 PM)H: okay
(11:59 PM) H: see ya

 

[Roobs]

Let her contact you again, Dont let yourself get obsessed with this girl, occupy yourself with other things, like you said before, the things that actually matter.

 

[itishe]

She came back to town last night I do believe.

 

[itishe]

ugggghhhh

Guys I'm starting to get those feelings again! Talk some sense into me!

Seeing it's a Sunday, it's a pretty boring night since I missed tonight's poker game at a friend's. As I played my bass, among other activities I kept thinking, "Oh she's back in town tonight, I bet she's hanging out with 10 friends, while I'm sitting here alone".

Talk some sense into me God damnit.

 

[itishe]

Talked to a girl who happens to know my ex, but isn't too good of friends with her, basically just acquaintances. She told me that she saw my ex the other day (the first day she was back in town), I said, "cool". Then without me even asking she told me what she had to say.

Anywho she asked her, "oh so I heard Craig broke up with you"

To which the **** replies, "oh I almost forgot about that, and I broke up with him."

Stupid ***** telling the wrong story.

 

[itishe]

Deleted her from my phone tonight. One more step to removing her from my life.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Sorry kid - when a girl says "I'm under stress" that means I'm seeing another dude!!!

Do not contact her - she is trying to let you down slowly!! Do not trust these chicks - always play the field until you meet your potential wife!!

 

[itishe]

It is 3 am and I can't sleep. I had the urge to message her and perhaps set up some sex, good thing my brain took over and removed me from my fantasy world.

I now fully understand why they tell you to spin plates. I will admit I had/have a full-blown case of one-itis. I keep fighting these damn urges to message her on MSN, so far I've been sucessful.

Despite all this though, I keep wanting to see her. Not just because I liked her so much but also because we were friends for about a year before we started going out. It may be best for me to not see her again for a long time, but I'll feel like I'm missing out if I don't see her before she goes back to school.

Sure it's my one-itis talking and not me.

 

[Sir Shinra]

I have to agree with everything that's been said in this thread, particular the bit about "busy/stressed" = another guy.

In the Spring of '05 I was in an LTR with a girl I had met through a friend- she had flown in to see said friend for Christmas break. All was good for the first month or so, but communication dropped right around the time our mutual friend mentioned her excitement over seeing some other guy. She dumps me five months into it, and less than six months later I hear she's engaged to said guy (who later I hear is a cripple, racist, and a chauvinist, the exact opposite type the girl, being a feminist, would go after. That's @$$hole Theory for you.)

She's since broken up with him, and every time she comes to visit our friend I hear some bull**** about how she has to "amend for her sins" of breaking up with me so cruelly. I've yet to hear a word from her in the year and a half it's been since the breakup, and by this point I could care less whether she can actually "grow the balls" (har har, feminists have balls) to speak to me.

And yes, I realize the folley in dating a feminist; no need to point it out now.

 

[itishe]

Well about 3:30, I was getting a little tired and I just said, "**** it". Sent her a message on msn, she replied super fast and even seemed very enthused to talk to me. I.E. replied with very long answers, asked me questions back, etc.

We caught up a little bit, talked about my band, etc.

I'm going against the forums general opinion by doing this, but like I said "**** it", perhaps it's best if I get burned really good so I can learn on my own. One posistive thing I did though I let her come to me before I started talking to her again.

 

[resilient]

Just a quick reminder itishe:

Once you're out, you're out.

She may bring you back when your behavior improves and you stop being as much of a jerk, but you'll never own her heart again or keep her very long. Women have amazing memories, and don't forgive easily.

We can only work towards things that enhance her interest level in us and removing the negative traits that hold us back.

Some girls are cruel and will take a guy back, break up a few times before calling it off for good because they love the drama. IMO the baggage ain't worth what you're wanting to put yourself through and better to focus on other advancements with your life.

 

[itishe]

Oh I'm definately not pursuing another relationship with her. I just don't want to end this on a sour note. I'd like to maybe **** her a few times before she leaves, that's it.

I noticed you mention that I stop being such a jerk... care if you point out some examples beyond making her cry?

 

[00Kevin]

Quick to tell me how I ****ed up, but slow to offer guidance when my course is going alright...

Here is the convo log from when she messaged me:

11:54 PM) Her: hey
(11:56 PM) Me: hey what's up?
(11:56 PM) h: okay see ya
(11:56 PM) h: not much, i was just about to leave
(11:56 PM) H: just thought i'd say hi
(11:56 PM) m: oh, alright, talk to ya later then
(11:56 PM) h: what's up?
(11:57 PM) M: nothing, was about to hit the shower actually
(11:57 PM) H: oh
(11:57 PM) H: sounds fun
(11:57 PM) H: how was gnr?
(11:57 PM) m: straight up ****ing mind blowing
(11:58 PM) H:i figured it would be
(11:58 PM) M:: nothing like seeing Axl wiggle around
(11:59 PM) M: I'm gonna get going, havn't been feeling well. I'll talk to ya later
(11:59 PM) H:i'm sure there IS nothing like that
(11:59 PM)H: okay
(11:59 PM) H: see ya

first question

when did this happen? 1989?

second does "m" stand for "me" or is that her? if it is you, why the **** would you say, "nothing like seeing Axl wiggle around " are you a flamer?

 

[itishe]

Yeah see how it goes from Me to M. Then believe it or not it goes from Her to H. God damn that's confusing.

You gotta see Axl move before you talk **** of my choice of words.

 

[itishe]

Well boys I just had my eureka moment.

I was reading Tucker Max's message board, and read something cheating while in a relationship. I got the urge to cheat on my girlfriend many times while she was off in college, and I'm sure she did as well. The ***** may of acted on them, I will never know, nor do I care anymore. I wasn't made to be in a relationship with her.

Tonight or one of these nights, we'll talk. I'll invite her over for drinks and watch a movie. I'll **** her and send her on her way (she IS NOT my only plate, I just feel cheated I didn't get to **** her for months on end while she was at school. Time for me to get my rebate check). I don't want a relationship, I realized I now want sex. The light bulb has turned on.

 

[itishe]

Was at a party she was at last night. Didn't talk much at first, but towards the end of the party (we were getting pretty drunk) we started talking and playing around (hitting each other, etc.). That's cool.

I brought a girl to the party. Girl was hitting on me all day, then after we start drinking somehow my ex makes her into a best friend and I get ****ing **** blocked. My ex tells my lady friend to go to bed with her and they go sleep in my friends room with him in there. This is not cool.

I go to sleep with said friends sister on fold out couch. This is cool.

------------------

Edit: I've finally understand women are evil *****es, ones that must be ****ed and not cared about. Now that I have this philosophy, it's time I get some **** done. Tonight I'm going to get on that girl I brought, maybe get something from my friends sister (perhaps a blow job, she's not that attractive), etc. We'll see where it goes.

I just need help on sealing the deal (going from constant kino to going for the kill).

 

[itishe]

Hahaha oh God, have I a story to tell you. It involved my ex.

Last night at a party, I was playing disinterested and ignoring her druken drama. "Why are you always so mean to me", "what did I ever do to you", is that kind of **** she'd always say. I'd ignore it then she'd get close to me and grab me, etc.

Eventually I went to go to lay down and sleep and she crawled up next to me. I ignored her some more for a good while. Somehow we started making out, I fingered her, she orgasmed twice and we were both tired so we went to sleep. We woke up a couple hours later and went at it again. I was about to **** her and I asked her if she had a condom. She said she thought she did, but when she to go get it her "boyfriend" from college called and she stopped.

The funniest thing is when the first time we were going at it, her "boyfriend" called while I was giving her a hickey. "I'm sorry Dustin, but my battery is dying, I gotta go".

:box: Do not trust women :box: