Re-Inventing myself online.

[Luke Skywalker]

About losing your virginity and getting your life going, think of it like this-you could step outside and get hit by a truck and be dead today. You could die at any time and right now if you die you will die a virgin. How does that make you feel? To have died without experiencing one of the great experiences of life? How would you feel if you were in an airplane that was falling out of the sky about to crash and blow up, and you are thinking you never even had sex?

There are two scenerios. First of all, I believe in an after-life, but for the atheists in here that obviously dont - if you are dead, then you are dead, including your memories and it as if you were never born, thus what you experience at the end of the day means nothing. I would have committed suicide as a teen if I didn't believe in God because a reasoning in that direction almost led there - you'd ask yourself what's the point of being alive if you are going to die anyway. Without God, there is no point.

If you are like me and believe in an after-life and know the truth, then if sex was so great, it would exist in heaven - heaven is sexless - the bible says that eye has not seen, or ear heard about the good things that is prepared in heaven to those who love Him. People are worshipping God in heaven and it's a perfect place.

Should I be dead in body already then I'm forever with the Lord. By getting mired in a lifestyle of sin will only cast doubt into where my final destination is going to be - who would I be fooling, either I believe in my own profession or I dont, and one of the prerequisites is not to deliberately practise living in sin.

Again, it's pointless to reason to me that sin is pleasurable and that losing my eternal soul is worth temporary pleasure here on earth because I cant reason that way.

It is only when making a point that sex or losing virginity means something, such occurs when I've lost faith in God or think there is a God is not looking at me or doesn't seem to care that I'm a sexual being and just stuck these hormones on me to punish me, in such moments of doubt the doorway to sin opens as a response. This 'loss of faith' occured last year when a crush on a oneitis broke my heart and only in the month of November, 2006. This is documented on a thread "My Adult Online Ad" Since then, there is no direct policy to lose my virginity with anyone, because I don't really care to lose it. I need food and water (especially more so that I'm in a diet), but I dont need sex to survive.

 

[Evzone]

On this time-zone going to Feb 3rd, I'm trying to experiment with and enhance my online presence, which to date the results have been dismal.

...trimmed...

What doesn't seem to work thus far very well is my current profile set:
- Picture of me, and me in Italy, etc... appears to be a bit geeky, and the profile itself portrays me like a fanatic or like I'd probably preach on the first date. That hasn't produced much results, so I'll be experimenting with other varients later once the current people I'm corresponding to online have been purged (i.e they fade away or dissappear). So, by Thursday I should be taking that one down.

Luke I remember when you first started posting here (I am a long time lurker, seldom poster) and it was quite some time ago. In that time it seems like you have made a lot of progress and have accomplished many of the original goals that you set out for yourself.

Reading over some of your posts and the correspondence that results from them, it seems to me that you have other goals that you feel are unfulfilled.

I don't think that this website can help you at this point. My advice to you is to do what some have done in the past (Senor Fingers I think), and take some time completely off from Internet use and for that matter other mass media. Disconnect your network adapter for a week and just go out into the world. Spend some time with friends or family. Make some new friends with people maybe at your place of work. Maybe get involved in something like a volunteer group, some kind of hobby or a church group if you're into that kind of thing.

It's good and healthy to be among people. We weren't made to sit in front of computers all day pounding out text replies about girls and life.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I think this board is helpful for providing feedback on what I am doing and providing a bit of a direction with respect to where to meet girls or how to get comfortable approaching them and closing them. But, ultimately, I have to put ideas into practise and actually get the balls and do stuff, otherwise you are right, it becomes just a waste of time.

Thus, I should only post on what I am accomplishing, etc.... as based on the internet, offline, or wherever I'm meeting and/or interacting with girls.

Obviously, I have too many complex motivations within myself that have to be sorted out and to some degree probably I am in denial about what I want - which is intimacy with someone - that's really the bottom line, I think the book called "Beyond Embarassment" or something like that from Mike P. would address those issues. But until I move out of my parents house, I think there is no point reading anything further out.

Again, I will stop engaging on these rant-posts since they let out allot of negative energy for some reason and I dont think it's healthy for me to dwell on the negative WHILE doing nothing about it. I am going to do something about it and follow through with my program.

I would like to thank everyone for their help and feedback, and will post some field reports or successful activities soon.

 

[Nighthawk]

Without God, there is no point.

Well, maybe there is no 'point' other than to enjoy your life.

If you are like me and believe in an after-life and know the truth, then if sex was so great, it would exist in heaven - heaven is sexless - the bible says that eye has not seen, or ear heard about the good things that is prepared in heaven to those who love Him. People are worshipping God in heaven and it's a perfect place.

Did you mean to contradict yourself in every sentence? You are looking for sex, but sex isn't great and Heaven is sexless. You know this because The Bible (written by men) might suggest there is no sex in Heaven because its pleasures are unknown. Except you know what they will be, and they don't include sex, which you fear and think will give you STDs and is basically sinful.

This site has nothing for you Luke. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if you got sent to Hell just for posting here. Where you will be forced to have sex with skanky women while your mother cries while looking down from Heaven while singing kumbaya to God.

Please ignore any logic in this post and call me a troll. Thanks.

 

[Nighthawk]

Having said that, your last post showed a lot of self-awareness, so good luck.

 

[Bible_Belt]

if sex was so great, it would exist in heaven

By this logic, all physical pleasure would be evil.

And, Luke, do you really think that only virgins get to go to heaven? Moses was a murderer for crying out loud. Jesus forgave every street urchin and prostitute who asked him. Were they virgins? Did he add some sort of condition to the forgiveness (this forgiveness void upon having sex?) The thief who got crucified next to him that Jesus forgave and told him he would see heaven, did Jesus ask for a report of his sexual history first?

Sex is really not that important, Luke. It only seems like it is because you have not gotten any. The truth is that you can sin in 1001 ways that are just as bad as premarital sex. I think there will be virgins in Hell, too, and the joke is on them for thinking that a lack of sex means that they are moral people. Thinking you're saved by not having sex is as backward as thinking that you are damned for having it.

 

[The Inside Man]

BB pretty much just said this more eloquently but the main point is that good people can do bad things and still be GOOD PEOPLE. Because like BB said there are thousands of worse things you can do besides premarital sex. Most of my friends and family will say I'm a good guy because I always help my friends out when they need it, give them food, some money, a ride to work, I give homeless people money all the time, and I try to have a positive interactio with everyone I meet. I have also had premarital sex with several different girls..not huge numbers though. And I smoke pot often and party on weekends. No one's expecting you to be perfect, and I think it is a sin not to try to improve your life everyday and live it to the fullest.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I give homeless people money all the time

me too, when I was in Chicago this summer, that was the most fun I had. I would stuff a jacket pocket with $1 bills like I was going to the strip bar. I don't even care what they spend it on, booze, crack, whatever. I just like making sad people happy.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

if sex was so great, it would exist in heaven

By this logic, all physical pleasure would be evil.

That's not the point I made. If you read what you have quoted, I'm saying it's not a big deal.

And, Luke, do you really think that only virgins get to go to heaven?

Now where did I say that? Only people who trust Christ are going to heaven, virgins or non-virgins. If you trust Christ and you have the Spirit really living inside of you, then you are not going to habitually indulge in certain vices. Things often start out being harmless and innoscent. The first cigarette, the first time you smoked pot or crack, the first time you drunk alcholol, some very bad self-destructed habits started with a first time.

My dad told me that he went with 30 different women before meeting mom, many of them were women he meet at a bar with very low quality where he was completely AFC with them, and worst, even paying lots of them. Back when he was wild with that, they didn't have herpes, AIDS or any serious STD's like they have now. But the point he made - he didn't settle for one or two experiences, he developed a lifestyle of sin that pervaded and undermined his marriage to my mom. He must of cheated numerous times, and squandered his money on massage parlours, hookers, and other vice, and spent his hard earned earnings on sex-vice, while neglecting his immediate family and giving the rest to his own family. At the end, my mom ends up wearing the pants and supporting this home when other women would have just walked out and divorced someone like that.

But, he made his point - it started out as one, and it progressed to a lifestyle of sin - and you will always justify a lifestyle like that in your own eyes. I can see you are even twisting my quotes or mis-reading what I'm saying to make things look more extreme so you can feel better that I'm not being reasonable, when in reality, I'm quite lucid in what I"m saying here.


It also seems that people on here like to have regular sex as well - thus it's safe to assume, we are not talking about just losing virginity once in life, but developing a habitual lifestyle of sin. Ideally, if you lose it to someone you are married to and continue having sex with just her, then that's the cleanest, safest, and almost most guaranteed supply of sex (i.e. doing it again once you lose it and knowing it will happen again so you are not missing anything) - otherwise what you have is just a new drug, and an expensive one at that in either money, or time, energy and resoures.

Sex is really not that important, Luke.

Right, and that's the point I made on the first part.

The truth is that you can sin in 1001 ways that are just as bad as premarital sex.

So, what's your point, I didn't say that lust is the only sin, it's just my particular area of weakness or vulnerability - and a bondage to everyone else on here.

 

[Nighthawk]

Just **** off then. If you think lust is a sin, you are beyond help. I actually think you should be banned.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Just **** off then. If you think lust is a sin, you are beyond help. I actually think you should be banned.

Thank you for your very meaningful contribution to this post discussion. It's always good to hear ignorant people attempt to reason.

This discussion is between Bible_Belt and myself and you are not even a party to this discussion and obviously you cant make any meanintful contribution to it.

Anyway, I think Bible_Belt and myself will have reached a logical impassee and I'm going to move on since we are both going to disagree indefinately on here....I will only be posting on things that I am doing with women in order to help procure more prospects - and whatever I do with the prospects, or what end-result I want from them is ultimately my choice, if I want intimacy, to get laid, or have as a companion, whatever.

 

[Nighthawk]

How am I ignorant?

 

[Luke Skywalker]

How am I ignorant?

If you dont know the answer to that, then you've answered your own question.

 

[Nighthawk]

No, if you can't answer that question, you don't know what ignorant means.

 

[Nexus Polaris]

I have decided to work on looks, (ie weight-loss and building muscle mass) first. The primary reason is I have to watch out for my health - where there is an increased cancer risk from being obese, as studies have recently circulated on the news and internet, and well, I have a dead-line with this Herbal magic program to lose this eight by the end of March next year, and gradually improve my overall appearance. If I go through moving out and other stuff and dealing with other expenses of a mandatory nature - then this health effort would likely fall through the cracks until that is stabalized.

The other solution would have been to just go on debt with everything, rrsp's, this health program, stay in debt on the student loan and use funds to move out, yet, I'm trying to get myself out of debt which defeats the purpose. I have suffered in the past with a bad credit record and want to close that chapter of my life once and for all - this is part of DJ self-improvement too, right? Fact is I'm doing something to improve something somewhere and will continue to do so. Just I'm not ready to move out just this yet, but will keep it in mind.

No offense, but this still sounds like rationalization to me. The last line says it all, "Just I'm not ready to move out just yet." Logically, if you're finding other things to put in front of what most of us here agree should be your first priority, you won't ever be ready to move out. Which is why you should just force yourself to do it.

Hey, Nexus, thanks for the compliment. Regarding condoms, here is something I just posted about them on the mm forum:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1269359#post1269359
I realize that I have an unusual opinion. I am actually (usually) very selective in who I will have sex with.

You definitely have an interesting opinion. And I understand where you're coming from on a lot of it after reading that, but as somebody who had a kid unexpectedly, it's seriously not something you want to just take because it happens. I think a lot of people who don't have kids don't realize how much it actually changes your life forever. I mean, people get it on a cerebral level, but it's not the same until you actually go through it. Most of my friends have kids, and they all pretty much agree.

I understand don't fück anybody you don't trust, but if that's the case for me, then I might as well just become a monk. Because I really only trust any female so far. Women forget the pill, and they'll lie and tell you they took it. Even ones in LTRs.

Condoms do ruin a lot of the enjoyment of the act. I'm with you on that one 100%, but I have to make sure I look out for me.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Luke, Jesus said that even looking at women with lust is a sin. You're not going to avoid sin - it is the human condition. Are you honestly going to tell me that you will not have lustful thoughts about the girls you meet? You had better avoid women altogether if you are trying to avoid all sin.

Your parents have obviously messed with your head in big ways. You are not your Dad. Just because he screwed up does not mean that you will. It is not natural or normal for a woman to be as domineering as your mother. She loves you, but she is keeping you from ever growing as a person. Also, this high-and-mighty, 'we're too holy of Christians for just any girl' act is one big fat load of bvllsh!t. It's everything that Christianity is not. No one in your family actually understands the gender roles of their own religion very well, or they would not live the way they live. Despite all of this, I still admire your faith and wish you the best.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Luke, Jesus said that even looking at women with lust is a sin.

That's a hotly contested verse of scripture with possible extremes of interpretation and what you are insinuating is one extreme - based on the defination of lust. I think lust in that context means a premeditated and willful intent to do something that's immoral and you have to have a REAL opportunity to do so, and you are playing with the idea in your mind just short of going through with it. I based the Idea of 2 Samuel 11, which chronicals David's sin with Bethsheba - where he first saw her naked and then went ahead with an action to commit adultery. He had a real opportunity to have sex with her and toying with the idea to follow through, constitutes sin.

I agree that other interpretations would go literally and say, if you see a woman as a sex object and you objectify her in your mind, or just there to fulfill your sexual fantasy, then that could cross the threshold of lust. In that sence, I've already stated that I have a weakness in this area, but not a bondage where that controls me.

You're not going to avoid sin - it is the human condition. Are you honestly going to tell me that you will not have lustful thoughts about the girls you meet? You had better avoid women altogether if you are trying to avoid all sin.

The Bible does not teach sinless perfection, but against the willful practise of habitually indulging in sin, that's a different story. If you willfully sin habitually, then it controlls you - it is your boss and you have to listen to it - like a slave.

Think about it - you have taken great risks on your health going without condoms, getting people pregnant, getting false rape charges, just to get more pleasure out of it - that means you are a slave to that passion because your health is of lower priority then feeling good. When people have to lie to someone to get laid or just get laid whenever there is an opportunity to - then they are a slave to it - they cant help it and are in bondage.

That's bondage.


We will all fall, but if you know to do what is right, you are expected to repent and follow suit and please God.

Anyway, nice talking with you Bible_Belt, I will take to mind your suggestions about moving out, and about going to different churches to meet women.