Put Yourself Out There

[BaronOfHair]

I wear airpods in public to avoid people trying to interact with me for no reason

Modify your choice of fashion statements like so

You'll have far more success

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I wear sunglasses after dark, and it improved my life tremendously.

 

[Solomon]

I see a common theme to many posters that come here seeking advice. Most of you lack social skills and fear rejection. You don't know how to properly interact with others in a public setting. So how do you develop skills you don't have and push past fears that keep you from engaging others? YOU PRACTICE! And you can practice anywhere and everywhere. Your goal should be to have successful interactions with anyone, not to get some girls number.

Many years ago I was in a similar boat. I was recently divorced and didn't really enjoy talking to random strangers in public. I was't oblivious, but I had very little experience with women. I quickly realized that if I wanted to get girls I needed to change my mindset and improve my skills. So thats what I did. I pushed myself to engage all types of people wherever I went.

I practiced flirting with old ladies at the check out stand. I made many trips to the fragrance counter at Dillards just to interact with those girls as they were usually attractive. I'd strike up conversations with the guy at the deli counter and before I knew it I had a new friend.

I became a regular at a bar and got in with that social group and started playing volleyball and going to pool parties.

I spent a lot of time in strip clubs, my goal was to see how long I could keep a conversation going without paying any money. I made friends with the bouncers, front desk girl, dj, bathroom attendant and bartenders. Once the girls got to know me, they would always greet me and stop by for some conversation. I always felt really comfortable inside of a strip club so it made it easier to talk to the girls. Strippers tend to me more open and forthcoming than girls you might talk to at a regular bar. I could practice my conversation skills on 10 girls a night and not even get out of my chair. After a while I learned what made women tick, and what topics were most engaging. I ended up dating several strippers once I figured out the recipe.

One night a friend and I approached 10 girls in a bar district. We would walk right up to them and tell them they were hot and ask them if they wanted to make out. Some got pissed, some laughed, but there were a few that were willing. One of them my friend got her phone # and I ended up going out with her. That night we learned that approaching girls was no big deal, rejection was part of it, it was actually a lot of fun. Most of the time you will get shot down but thats with anything in life.

This is the way people have to understand how easy it is to do this if you practice consistently people will be open to talk in social settings as long as you're not being a weirdo it's all about fun vibes

Most guys here suffer because they don't have the charisma or rizz as Gen-Z calls it and want to approach women from an analytical POV, this is not how socializing or women work, once you put yourself out there and say **** it and willing to take chances you'd be surprised of the things that can happen!

 

[Gamisch]

This is the way people have to understand how easy it is to do this if you practice consistently people will be open to talk in social settings as long as you're not being a weirdo it's all about fun vibes

Most guys here suffer because they don't have the charisma or rizz as Gen-Z calls it and want to approach women from an analytical POV, this is not how socializing or women work, once you put yourself out there and say **** it and willing to take chances you'd be surprised of the things that can happen!

100.

Most men (including yours truly) oftentimes forget that EVERY woman is approachable, heck, it's a vital part of their existence. Simultaneously doing approaches is vital.part of ours. You can approach Hillary Clinton ( if you are into that like @GoodMan32 LOL) and she'll soft -reject you telling you she is married while blushing.

everything happens after jumping into deep waters and taking a leap of faith. That's why I detest people complaining about " corporate folks "; it's mainly an NPC complaint. The NPC wants to live life free of risks while still benefiting from others. These times literally separating boys from men.

If you : don't wanna take risk
Don't wanna maxxx.
Don't wanna put yourself out there ect ect ect

You won't get ANY coochie. Period.

 

[Gamisch]

I wear sunglasses after dark, and it improved my life tremendously.

Another BIG one.

Gotta niche-maxxx. Know your damn bracket! Be someone/something more than the average NPC. Especially if you are a perpetually single man who wants some while getting none. The beta Bob look might work for some but not for _fill in struggling man_.

Why not try to get a more individualised style? The surfer, the artist, the rastafari, the muscle man, the entrepreneur, the extrovert, the tattoo/beard man and MANY more examples. And preferably a combination of some of those.

 

[GoodMan32]

100.

Most men (including yours truly) oftentimes forget that EVERY woman is approachable, heck, it's a vital part of their existence. Simultaneously doing approaches is vital.part of ours. You can approach Hillary Clinton ( if you are into that like @GoodMan32 LOL) and she'll soft -reject you telling you she is married while blushing.

everything happens after jumping into deep waters and taking a leap of faith. That's why I detest people complaining about " corporate folks "; it's mainly an NPC complaint. The NPC wants to live life free of risks while still benefiting from others. These times literally separating boys from men.

If you : don't wanna take risk
Don't wanna maxxx.
Don't wanna put yourself out there ect ect ect

You won't get ANY coochie. Period.

Making a move on a married woman (or a woman with a boyfriend) makes it questionable whether the rejection "counts" (because if the broad was single, there's a chance you might have gotten her to drop her panties)

One thing worth noting, however: Sometimes they falsely claim to be taken because they simply don't want you. So unless you have a way to confirm she's really taken (like your Hillary Clinton example; we obviously know she's married), I suppose we should take any claim of being taken with a grain of salt.

To address the end of your post: While it's generally true you have to approach a woman to get cooch, I've gotten free lays from posting Craigslist ads. The broads came to me.

 

[Solomon]

Another major issue I see is that men in the last 10 years have become entitled just as the women they are complaining about, especially in manopsdhere/Red PIll spaces which has even translated into the real world. They think because they are a certain race(yeah I said it),"Good guys" or work a low-skilled job with no upward mobility that should garner them a gorgeous woman. They think it's others' fault that they're not getting the results that they feel, they deserve.

The reality is no man is gonna get handouts unless you grew up in a rich family and 90% of us didn't. As a man you're gonna have to grind . Go out and develop skills, and diversify yourself i.e. education, personal skills, finance, emotional skills, social mastery skills, etc. Things take time, effort and work. The reality is a lot of men want success right away and in life it doesn't work like that. I'm 40 and I'm now just starting to understand things in finances that I was ignorant of just less than 10 years ago. Some of us are going to have to bust our a$$ longer and harder than others.

The thing is you gotta take action don't worry about failing as long as you learn that's the key!

 

[CornbreadFed]

Another major issue I see is that men in the last 10 years have become entitled just as the women they are complaining about, especially in manopsdhere/Red PIll spaces which has even translated into the real world. They think because they are a certain race(yeah I said it),"Good guys" or work a low-skilled job with no upward mobility that should garner them a gorgeous woman. They think it's others' fault that they're not getting the results that they feel deserve.

The reality is no man is gonna get handouts unless you grew up in a rich family and 90% of us didn't. As a man you're gonna have to grind . Go out and develop skills, and diverse yourself i.e. education, personal skills, finance, emotional skills, social mastery skills, etc. Things take time, effort and work. The reality is a lot of men want success right away and in life it doesn't work like that. I'm 40 and I'm now just starting to understand things in finances that I was ignorant of just less than 10 years ago. Some of us are going to have to bust our a$$ longer and harder than others.

The thing is you gotta take action don't worry about failing as long as you learn that's the key!

Notice these same men are obsessed with only fans, strippers, and celebrity women. They are living and projecting in their own echo chambers.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Another major issue I see is that men in the last 10 years have become entitled just as the women they are complaining about, especially in manopsdhere/Red PIll spaces which has even translated into the real world. They think because they are a certain race(yeah I said it),"Good guys" or work a low-skilled job with no upward mobility that should garner them a gorgeous woman. They think it's others' fault that they're not getting the results that they feel deserve.

The reality is no man is gonna get handouts unless you grew up in a rich family and 90% of us didn't. As a man you're gonna have to grind . Go out and develop skills, and diverse yourself i.e. education, personal skills, finance, emotional skills, social mastery skills, etc. Things take time, effort and work. The reality is a lot of men want success right away and in life it doesn't work like that. I'm 40 and I'm now just starting to understand things in finances that I was ignorant of just less than 10 years ago. Some of us are going to have to bust our a$$ longer and harder than others.

The thing is you gotta take action don't worry about failing as long as you learn that's the key!

Yeah, no man gets handouts, and most will never amass kill counts comparable to that of Warren Beatty or Robert Evans, during their respective heydays. Same way most women will never be The It Girl of (Insert era), in fashion similar to Sydney Sweeney at present

That's no justification for us all not to move heaven and earth to become the best versions of ourselves

 

[jhonny9546]

I practiced flirting with old ladies at the check out stand. I made many trips to the fragrance counter at Dillards just to interact with those girls as they were usually attractive. I'd strike up conversations with the guy at the deli counter and before I knew it I had a new friend.

This is interesting since I think I do this, but I would be very curious to hear the way you do it. What’s your intention?

I made friends

Do you enter any social scenario with the intent of making friend?
If yes, how?
Do you present yourself as a friendly creature or with the mischievousness of a misterious man?

Just to cite something from my previous office job:

I was approached by a colleague who began to tell me how her brother-in-law had kept a 20-year relationship with another woman a secret from everyone, and how they only came out later. I only understood later that this woman might have been hinting that she wanted a secret lover. How? Someone told me she was about to break with her current partner because he bought her sex toys since she was to high libido for him, and he didn't want to have sex with her or do what she asked for.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have the social skills to pick up on the signals or at least expose myself to making a double entendre joke in that scenario, since she was the one who brought it up.

And I have a big lack, still, nowadays

Why not try to get a more individualised style? The surfer, the artist, the rastafari, the muscle man, the entrepreneur, the extrovert, the tattoo/beard man and MANY more examples. And preferably a combination of some of those.

You could be an artist, musician, surfer, muscle man, introver, tattoed, but wear business outfit. Is that okay?

 

[jhonny9546]

Another point to consider is that we are discussing how to "recognize women's signals" between the lines.

In fact, in my experience, if a woman communicates in a certain way in a specific scenario, it often indicates that she wants you to understand something.

To grasp this underlying message, what is the most effective strategy you employ daily in your interactions with people? I mean, what practices gradually enhance your ability to read these signals and formulate appropriate responses? How do you respond to their "tests" with another "test"?

This is quite specific, and I don't believe that simply "socializing" in general grants you this ability. Perhaps it's more about socializing in a particular way.

 

[The Duke]

This is interesting since I think I do this, but I would be very curious to hear the way you do it. What’s your intention?

Do you enter any social scenario with the intent of making friend?
If yes, how?
Do you present yourself as a friendly creature or with the mischievousness of a misterious man?

My intent is usually just to socialize. Sure if its some attractive girl that i am interested in and I'm at a bar there is more driving that interaction, but my initial focus is on fun/interesting social conersation.

Yes I always present myself as friendly. Man of mystery is not my thing.

You really need to just get out in social settings and start having conversations with everyone. No agenda, no intent other than see where the converstion goes. If its interesting to both parties, it almost always goes somewhere.

 

[Gamisch]

Another major issue I see is that men in the last 10 years have become entitled just as the women they are complaining about, especially in manopsdhere/Red PIll spaces which has even translated into the real world. They think because they are a certain race(yeah I said it),"Good guys" or work a low-skilled job with no upward mobility that should garner them a gorgeous woman. They think it's others' fault that they're not getting the results that they feel, they deserve.

The reality is no man is gonna get handouts unless you grew up in a rich family and 90% of us didn't. As a man you're gonna have to grind . Go out and develop skills, and diversify yourself i.e. education, personal skills, finance, emotional skills, social mastery skills, etc. Things take time, effort and work. The reality is a lot of men want success right away and in life it doesn't work like that. I'm 40 and I'm now just starting to understand things in finances that I was ignorant of just less than 10 years ago. Some of us are going to have to bust our a$$ longer and harder than others.

The thing is you gotta take action don't worry about failing as long as you learn that's the key!

Absolutely!!

It makes my blood boil every time when I read comments talking about men don't wanna work because "the ceo gets rich" and because " women don't notice them but only the top 10%".

The irony is that if some of these things really mattered, they would've put everything on becoming and maintaining to be that man, or at least work very hard on it. Every man I know who is part of or close to the top10/ 15 % takes EXTREMELY good care of himself. No halfazzing, everything gotta be on point. All facets of the game regarding women and people in general. They will also demand respect from fellow men .

The reason why "that group of people " feels more entitled is because they grew up in a 2 parents household, but other groups will all have their own reason to why they'll feel entitled as well. In every other era many of them would've been send to a war and die, or die while doing some heavy hazardous labor six days a week. There never was a woman for evey man..ever.

Not even passport bro-ing will help them.

 

[ManlyMan]

Agree that having excellent interactions with people is a good thing. I do think it is more of a bar game type thing or for more social environments. I have found that engaging women you don't know in supermarkets is not always welcome or considered good social skills. I feel that women feel their is always an agenda. And usually there is. That is why it is not always welcome and by some women even considered bad social skills by default. So while having excellent interactions with people is great it does not mean you will always be perceived as having excellent social interactions. It helps but does not guarantee that you will come off calibrated etc. Because some women view that negatively by default. However most women are very approachable and will not be rude. And there are a great deal of women you will be successful with. It really takes courage and good enough fundamentals. to approach women you don't know in non social situations and be successful. It could be argued you need bad social skills in some peoples context.

Excellent social skills is a great skill to learn that will benefit you in many ways however.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Absolutely!!

It makes my blood boil every time when I read comments talking about men don't wanna work because "the ceo gets rich" and because " women don't notice them but only the top 10%".

The irony is that if some of these things really mattered, they would've put everything on becoming and maintaining to be that man, or at least work very hard on it. Every man I know who is part of or close to the top10/ 15 % takes EXTREMELY good care of himself. No halfazzing, everything gotta be on point. All facets of the game regarding women and people in general. They will also demand respect from fellow men .

The reason why "that group of people " feels more entitled is because they grew up in a 2 parents household, but other groups will all have their own reason to why they'll feel entitled as well. In every other era many of them would've been send to a war and die, or die while doing some heavy hazardous labor six days a week. There never was a woman for evey man..ever.

Not even passport bro-ing will help them.

We can always put them in camps if there's no war going on...

Back on topic, harboring blood-boiling anger prob isn't good for your sociability, lolz.

 

[jhonny9546]

Absolutely!!

It makes my blood boil every time when I read comments talking about men don't wanna work because "the ceo gets rich" and because " women don't notice them but only the top 10%".

The irony is that if some of these things really mattered, they would've put everything on becoming and maintaining to be that man, or at least work very hard on it. Every man I know who is part of or close to the top10/ 15 % takes EXTREMELY good care of himself. No halfazzing, everything gotta be on point. All facets of the game regarding women and people in general. They will also demand respect from fellow men .

The reason why "that group of people " feels more entitled is because they grew up in a 2 parents household, but other groups will all have their own reason to why they'll feel entitled as well. In every other era many of them would've been send to a war and die, or die while doing some heavy hazardous labor six days a week. There never was a woman for evey man..ever.

Not even passport bro-ing will help them.

Well said. Which are jobs or career that could develop all those characteristics altogheter?

 

[BeExcellent]

Old ladies have heard it all. They’re great banter partners. One in the city the other day gave me my credit card that I forgot at the capital grille the evening prior and I asked her if there was any money left on it. She told me she went out and bought herself a pair of shoes. I told her it was fair trade for her troubles. Old women can be fantastic sources of counsel as well.

The old lady concurs! ROFLMAO

 

[BeExcellent]

Well said. Which are jobs or career that could develop all those characteristics altogheter?

Sales

 

[BaronOfHair]

Same reason, as you say, many adults DO have to sharpen their reading proficiency by consuming literature meant for 1st and 2nd graders https://www.npr.org/2008/10/20/95894652/toppling-adult-illiteracy So often in life, we focus myopically on one thing (Be it playing football or Dungeons And Dragons), we fail to develop vital areas of life

Here in The US, over four decades of treating STEM ed as the be all and end all of our lives has created a population of folks(particularly men) who can build computers from scratch, yet barely comprehend the menu at Denny's or chat with the check-out girl at CVS. Even though the latter increases your chances of the staff going the extra mile for you

Speak of Beezelebub https://think.kera.org/2024/11/06/some-top-college-students-cant-get-through-a-novel/

 

[BaronOfHair]

Speak of Beezelebub https://think.kera.org/2024/11/06/some-top-college-students-cant-get-through-a-novel/

Of course, all this overlooks a more salient fact which rarely gets much discussion...

It's no one else's responsibility except our own to cultivate a thirst for developing one's own mind(That means consuming sublime literature), or strengthen one's own social acuity, by going out into the sunlight and fresh air then interacting with your fellow humans. The US government can do very little to remedy the loneliness epidemic