Pretty sure that I am about to get dumped. URGENT

[sosousage]

No this would be game playing and not real. Everything i refer to is about being authentic and not a needy state of manipating an outcome.
I disagreed with BE because more talking and confessing wrong isnt going to repair.
Time and space may.
Glass and atom and the rest are correct here.

I noticed BE gives often advice that would rather satissfy woman than help the man. He needs to NC immedietely and any attempt to speak with her will just make it worse for him. If he would still keep on doing what he does (sitting on her back, arranging new meetings (even tho she was declining meetings since long)) then that would just make him look bad in her eyes

 

[Julian]

Any update on this?


Just KEEP IT REAL OP.

Call her ass up on the telephone like a man and say "Look honey, cut the BS. Obviously I can sense theres been some changes lately..and thats life. So just come clean and tell me the truth. The truth shall set you free. Nothing you can say or do is going to make me angry with you. But lets just keep this 100 % real with eachother im not for the games and BS. Whatever happens happens...it is what it is but lets have some humanity here and be open no matter what, ok? So are you fukking someone else? Yes or No."

Then go from there. End things on a good note. Shes monkey branching.


Also, LDR wtf OP lol. fail from the start

 

[switch7]

Someone said men don't get dumped.

I disagree. It's how you handle getting dumped that distinguishes whether you are a man or not.

Id sit it out and hear what she has got to say. Go ghost until she is ready to talk. In mean time do everything you can to make you feel good about yourself. I.e gym etc. Have some sort of action plan ready to cushion your fall in the scenario she does pull the plug.

 

[Julian]

Jesus dear god please keep me from saying this ever to any woman.

Ok thats fine you probably wont ever have to

 

[gettinit]

Well, I decided to not send anything, and a 3 year thing was ended via a text. It is actually a good thing for me, because that revealed her true character. 3 years and a text? Really?

Sure it hurts, but connecting some dots from earlier texts and conversions, made me realize that this has been ongoing and the only reason that I think that I got dumped is that I sniffed out the real story and she got worried about getting caught. If not, I could still be on this ride to nowhere. For all I know, she has been playing the field for years. As a matter of fact, by looking from a new perspective at earlier texts and conversations, I'm 90% sure that she spent the holiday weekend with the new guy at a place that we were planning to go to and then shooting for the one day for us, just after the weekend. That's just plain cold. No, I'm not nuts, nor creating fantasy ideas, she just didn't cover her tracks well enough.

For those of you who think as I previously did, that this occurred due to my backing off, I now think that this was started prior to that and that my subconscious already had sensed something wrong. Why it happened? It was either a f'up on my part (please don't post that it always is), she just wanted more than I could give, or she is just a bad person down deep, hidden daddy issues, a combination... it doesn't matter at this point.

For those asking if I was physically or verbally abusive, its not in my DNA. I have two sisters and just that fact had made me respect women and take them for their word. I have been a lurker on here for years, and my mindset had already changed dramatically, prior to this girl. As a matter of fact, I handled a number of situations with this girl and prior ones by changing my mindset through the posts on here.

For those asking if sexually it was an every Saturday night, in bed, socks on thing, no. I always mixed it up and in most cases, left her legs shaking.

Was she exceptional relationship wise, intelligence wise and (gasp) logic wise, sure was.
Did she branch swing from her Ex to me? Sure did.
Did she branch swing again? Sure did.

So, before I get pummeled for letting her dump me, after digging some things up and having the information from this site in my head, I wanted to see if things would go as most of you and me(with my new mindset) thought that It would.

In summary (text already deleted)
To start she referred to an earlier funny text that I had sent and said that she forgot (ha) to comment on it and added an LOL. Read as: Although you wont like what I have to say next, I still like you, so hang in there.)
She wrote that she had some hard decisions to make in her life right now and she wanted to pump the brakes and take a break for a bit so she would not be distracted by our relationship while she did so (Read as: she wants to pump the new guy and make sure it works out before cutting ties). She also said that telling me and how I would feel about it, added a lot of stress to an already difficult situation (poor her).
She ended with: Your thoughts? (Read as: please validate me and let me know that I can either abuse you more, store you for later play if I want or reveal to me that you are a not a real man)

She will never know my thoughts. I am strong.

For those who said send a preemptive dump text and block her, I think that she would have read it as just that.
If I hadn't read the text, my mindset would be in a much worse place right now.

Now its time to start moving forward, put my ego in my back pocket and start healing.

For anyone reading this post that is in a similar situation, listen to the advice given here. Just be sure that you can handle the final choice that you make. No two people are the same, but human nature is just that.

That's all folks. I'm off to the just got dumped thread for some pointers.

Thank you all.

 

[sosousage]

thats progress OP now you need to stop writing wall of texts about her

 

[gettinit]

Wow.. Sosousage.. WTF?
One last thing. I didn't block her number. I'm curious of what tactics will follow and will share, hopefully to help others in the future. I will never reply.

 

[soulforge]

Well, I decided to not send anything, and a 3 year thing was ended via a text. It is actually a good thing for me, because that revealed her true character. 3 years and a text? Really?

Sure it hurts, but connecting some dots from earlier texts and conversions, made me realize that this has been ongoing and the only reason that I think that I got dumped is that I sniffed out the real story and she got worried about getting caught. If not, I could still be on this ride to nowhere. For all I know, she has been playing the field for years. As a matter of fact, by looking from a new perspective at earlier texts and conversations, I'm 90% sure that she spent the holiday weekend with the new guy at a place that we were planning to go to and then shooting for the one day for us, just after the weekend. That's just plain cold. No, I'm not nuts, nor creating fantasy ideas, she just didn't cover her tracks well enough.

For those of you who think as I previously did, that this occurred due to my backing off, I now think that this was started prior to that and that my subconscious already had sensed something wrong. Why it happened? It was either a f'up on my part (please don't post that it always is), she just wanted more than I could give, or she is just a bad person down deep, hidden daddy issues, a combination... it doesn't matter at this point.

For those asking if I was physically or verbally abusive, its not in my DNA. I have two sisters and just that fact had made me respect women and take them for their word. I have been a lurker on here for years, and my mindset had already changed dramatically, prior to this girl. As a matter of fact, I handled a number of situations with this girl and prior ones by changing my mindset through the posts on here.

For those asking if sexually it was an every Saturday night, in bed, socks on thing, no. I always mixed it up and in most cases, left her legs shaking.

Was she exceptional relationship wise, intelligence wise and (gasp) logic wise, sure was.
Did she branch swing from her Ex to me? Sure did.
Did she branch swing again? Sure did.

So, before I get pummeled for letting her dump me, after digging some things up and having the information from this site in my head, I wanted to see if things would go as most of you and me(with my new mindset) thought that It would.

In summary (text already deleted)
To start she referred to an earlier funny text that I had sent and said that she forgot (ha) to comment on it and added an LOL. Read as: Although you wont like what I have to say next, I still like you, so hang in there.)
She wrote that she had some hard decisions to make in her life right now and she wanted to pump the brakes and take a break for a bit so she would not be distracted by our relationship while she did so (Read as: she wants to pump the new guy and make sure it works out before cutting ties). She also said that telling me and how I would feel about it, added a lot of stress to an already difficult situation (poor her).
She ended with: Your thoughts? (Read as: please validate me and let me know that I can either abuse you more, store you for later play if I want or reveal to me that you are a not a real man)

She will never know my thoughts. I am strong.

For those who said send a preemptive dump text and block her, I think that she would have read it as just that.
If I hadn't read the text, my mindset would be in a much worse place right now.

Now its time to start moving forward, put my ego in my back pocket and start healing.

For anyone reading this post that is in a similar situation, listen to the advice given here. Just be sure that you can handle the final choice that you make. No two people are the same, but human nature is just that.

That's all folks. I'm off to the just got dumped thread for some pointers.

Thank you all.

Sorry to hear this man.. This is how woman role these days!

When I noticed something off with my ex, a change in her behaviour.. Some what ****y attitude towards me..

I just straight dumped her ass.. I don't even know if she was checking another dude..

IF SOMETHING FEELS OFF, 99% OF THE TIMES, IT USUALLY FUKIN IS

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Wow, women these days. Sorry to hear of your misfortune.

Was she big on consuming, shopping and all that?? I ask because I wonder if a woman's consumer habits might signal how she will treat a guy??

 

[BetterCallSaul]

OP received good advice within the first page of this thread. This thread is now up to 5 pages? Why? We called it back on page 1. It's cool that guys are here for each other, but damn do we have to play the role of orbiter for something considered urgent?

OP glad to see you've at least come to accept what's happening and can start to move on.

 

[soulforge]

Don't know about you guys, but I rather ALWAYS be the dumper, than to hang on to the very end..

 

[RedScorpion]

Wow.. Sosousage.. WTF?
One last thing. I didn't block her number. I'm curious of what tactics will follow and will share, hopefully to help others in the future. I will never reply.

Bravo to you for handling it the best way you can. Personally, I don't think it matters so much on who did the dumping. Rather, I think it's how you react in either case (non emotional, calm, decisive vs whining, crying, angry, etc.). I also think, at least in the long run, it was better that she called the break up in this situation. That way, there's no doubt onto what was going on. There's no question of 'Well, what if she just needed some space and I broke up with her early, or I was too reactive, etc.'. Now you know. As ****ty as it is, there's no doubt. For myself, doubt always created the most internal strife.

I think you've done well in handling this. Please feel free to join the no contact thread if you'd like. It's a good spot for support, discussion, venting so you don't break NC. And definitely keep us updated on any tactics, moves from her.

 

[Desdinova]

3 years and a text? Really?

Don't focus too hard on the medium. Texting a breakup is easy, quick, and gets the job done. That's how I prefer to dump women. The last time I dumped a chick face to face, she trashed my living room. You don't get that with a text.

Now to prove my point... If you would have demanded her to tell you that she wanted to end the relationship, you wouldn't have had to spend all that time in limbo, racking your brain, possibly losing sleep, wondering WTF was going on. No woman is worth the stress. Just take a gun and put the relationship out of it's misery.

On the plus side, you've got your head on straight with regards to the breakup. You'll do well in your recovery, and your d1ck will be back in some chick's vagina in no time. Good luck.

 

[gettinit]

Wow, women these days. Sorry to hear of your misfortune.

Was she big on consuming, shopping and all that?? I ask because I wonder if a woman's consumer habits might signal how she will treat a guy??

Thanks.
Nope, actually not materialistic at all. Never pumped money out of me and even payed for rooms when we went somewhere. I always did pay the date costs though. She had nice stuff, but not a lot of it. Clean house, no clutter.

 

[DreamAgain]

Damn, kudos to you for not responding to that bs, that's some good willpower.

 

[The Duke]

Any update on this?

Call her ass up on the telephone like a man and say "Look honey, cut the BS. Obviously I can sense theres been some changes lately..and thats life. So just come clean and tell me the truth. The truth shall set you free. Nothing you can say or do is going to make me angry with you. But lets just keep this 100 % real with eachother im not for the games and BS. Whatever happens happens...it is what it is but lets have some humanity here and be open no matter what, ok? So are you fukking someone else? Yes or No."

Then go from there. End things on a good note. Shes monkey branching.


Also, LDR wtf OP lol. fail from the start

So how will you know she is telling the truth? you got no clue. Women are experts at not telling the truth in order to protect someone's feelings and protecting their ego's. Men lie about accomplishments.

 

[Roober]

Sorry to hear dude! Best advice I can give is delete her from all social media, delete her number from your phone, etc etc. Remove everything that reminds you of her from your home. It will be rough for a couple weeks, possibly months. DO NOT CONTACT HER OR RESPOND TO HER!!!

and
-get in the gym
-find something to distract yourself - read books, hang with friends, try a new hobby

And to your request for advice? I would have just sat her down and talked to her. It would take one simple conversation to determine if it's over. 3 years is a bit too long of a relationship to play the ignore game...

Women think they are sooo friggin sneaky. In reality, us idiots don't use our heads when our intuition is banging down the door.

 

[CMNILS87]

I am slightly in disagreement with the above options because she is still communicating with you.

Instead of "dumping her", just stop initiating any communication. Trust me, she will wonder why you are not texting her or calling her. She will think there is another hen in the rooster cage and if she is truly interested in you and there is not another guy in the picture, she will break. If she does reach out, keep it simple as far as how you respond. No mushy stuff. Just use the communication to set up the next get together for sechs. Set up the date, play the "Im busy....gotta run but I'm looking forward to seeing you Friday" card.

If there is another guy in the picture, she probably wont say or do anything from this point forward because her attention has shifted from you to him.....women are all about the right now emotions and that is where their attention is shifted to.

Just relax, DO NOT message/text/call/email her and let it play out. This isnt a divorce where one person has to make the call to end it. Just put the entire situation on the back burner unless she reaches out. Trust me on this.

You have to realize that she is an hour away so there is always a chance that she has gained interest in someone closer which takes less work on her part to get what she needs.

I dont care if in 2 weeks, a month, a year you get the urge to text her...DONT DO IT.

Make her chase to evaluate her interest level. And start spinning plates. Find a few chicks closer to you.

I like this option way better. Play the waiting game. If she fells you pulling away and she starts freaking out, I doubt there's another man. Also relationship ebb and flow, you may have hit a lull, it's not like you can keep that honeymoon phase going indefinitely

 

[playa99]

So she is a branch swinger!!!

Feel for you dude, sound's like you have your head screwed on as far as the break up is concerned. Be sure to delete her off all social mediums & it goes with out saying, go NC.

Look at this as a bullet dodged, be relieved & move on to pastures new.

 

[Julian]

So how will you know she is telling the truth? you got no clue. Women are experts at not telling the truth in order to protect someone's feelings and protecting their ego's. Men lie about accomplishments.

Lol you mean to tell me you cant tell when someone is lieing to you? Especially a GF in a LTR? I can tell the instant someone is lieing/BSing me.