I have assessed where things stand with me and the primary social circle I've had for the last 10+ years. I've made the decision to de-emphasize all my relationships with this group. There is no viable path forward.
In this primary social group, there is a problem with beta male wimp husbands who are controlled by their wives. While I'm less annoyed by the male acquaintances (more so the friends of friends in the group) doing this, I am more annoyed when my primary friends in the group do this.
One friend always claims he has to "ask his wife" when I ask him to play a sport together, play poker, or do any sort of social activity together. While he was one of men whose wife had a baby in 2023, he was using the "ask his wife" line long before his wife got pregnant. This man seemed to lose his testicles once he moved in his girlfriend. At the very latest, it was when he got married. He is the perfect example of what Richard Cooper discussed in "The Unplugged Alpha". He experienced beta-ization by a thousand concessions to his wife. The concessions likely started small but kept getting bigger and bigger. Now, he's an unrecognizable wimpy beta male. This is once a man who could get sex with minimal effort as a man who is 6'0"+ and was in good shape. He had a triple digit notch count prior to imprisoning himself in this toxic romantic relationship that is now a legally binding state marriage. This friendship isn't working for me anymore. We don't need to have a formal ending to the friendship and I think we can remain on good enough terms. I'll just only see him once or twice a year in the next 3-5 years.
Another friend didn't invite me to his marriage at the request of his fiancé (now wife). He's controlled by her. He's a wimp. While I was not upset about not going to a wedding since going to weddings and wedding receptions are annoying, I was annoyed with his beta male lack of frame and his poor communication with me. I have not contacted him since that incident (multiple months ago) and have no plans to ever contact him again. I would be open to getting together if he offered. I doubt he will offer at this point. The future of this friendship is dependent upon him entering my frame and accepting my terms. I don't think he's capable of doing that. I also don't want a male friend longer term who is controlled by his wife, just like the man in the previous paragraph. I don't think that friendship can work for me either. At best, it's another situation of a guy who I can see once or twice a year in the next 3-5 years.
The great thing about either of these situations is that I don't have to do anything. I'm not doing anything with either of them. I'm not calling or texting them. Both these males are so absorbed in either married life and/or baby raising life that my disappearance is kind of forgotten. That's good. Men in general have a tendency to let their friendships fall off once they get married and especially after having children. They do this more with their non-married, marginally attached or fully unattached friends the most. Women don't tend to starve their female friendships as much as men tend to starve their male friendships.
I have been spending more time with male friends who are outside this primary social group of the past 10+ years. I have always had a few side friends. These males are less controlled by their wives and one male is single. Because these married men are less controlled by their wives, I can have more meaningful and more frequent in-person social interactions with them. I need more single male friends in general. That would be the best solution for me at this point of time. I also have to deal with working, my woman life, and running a one person household ahead of finding new male friends. I am glad that I do have some existing male friends that can work in the meantime while I search for new male friends who are single and childless.
