sodbuster
Master Don Juan
Not sure he's been divorced then......
this... X 1000Mauser96 said:Once their mind is made up, it is made up. THEN they will convince themselves you are a monster to assuage their guilt while they try and bankrupt you.
Thanks man. You got really lucky in that you didin't marry a personality disordered psychopath. Normal people can drift apart and come back together. If your wife was truly psychotic, your situation would have played out like mine and many of the guys here. I remember you, and your well intentioned advice...that stuff applies when dealing with a mentally healthy spouse...not my situation. Good for you for rescuing yours, but most of the guys here who have been burned badly were not in your shoes. Not all people are bad, but some are really, really bad, and some of us end up marrying and having kids with the really bad ones.Epimanes said:I still disagree.. But I may be clouded by my own personal experience. My wife was done with me also for quite some time.. But we turned it around. I may be a minority and that's unfortunate.. Sorry kingvavy thaat things didn't work out and your wife had an underlying agenda to screw you over.. Not everyone carries a good set of morals I guess... I feeel sorry for your kids and for you man.
Epi
Yep. Unfortunately it is not changing. It's a sad reality. Broken homes suck. Back when I was younger my advice was always to eject. Now, with kids involved, I advise to try and make it work, but intelligently (by taking back the frame). Too late for you on that, obviously.kingvavy said:The hardest part is seeing my poor kids suffer. They are only 4 and 7.
THIS!! My ex moved in with her new boyfriend about a month after our divorce. He bought her a house. Anyhow, from day one she started hammering our kids about calling the new boyfriend "dad" rather then by his name, and my kids are teenagers. They pissed about it at first, but after numerous yellings and shaming by their mother, they now have two men in their lives that they call "dad" WTF?? I don't say anything about it because the kids are in a tough enough place, but my god, what the hell is wrong with women?speed dawg said:And get ready, your ex is going to attempt to replace you with whoever it is she shacks up with next. .
I get that...I've been seeing someone for 6 months now...I kept her away from my kids until just a few days ago. We did an activity together. The kids were super happy. They seemed to feed off seeing me genuinely happy, and it was a huge help having an extra set of hands. I am going to back off from doing that...thanks for the tip. They really liked her and I don't want see an attachment form.speed dawg said:Yep. Unfortunately it is not changing. It's a sad reality. Broken homes suck. Back when I was younger my advice was always to eject. Now, with kids involved, I advise to try and make it work, but intelligently (by taking back the frame). Too late for you on that, obviously.
Whatever you do, don't bring another woman around your kids. Stay single, or f*ck some hos, whatever, but don't bring them around the kids. And get ready, your ex is going to attempt to replace you with whoever it is she shacks up with next. Good job on the documentation, keep that up, it will eventually help you.
Bad situation. Good luck.
women with clinical personality disorders are extremely good at hiding the fact that they are bat **** crazy...you can do your research and still get burned. That being said, you have to be that much more diligent. I get your point and agree with you.LiveFreeX said:Honest question, how many LTRs did you have before your wife? How long did you know your wife and had you moved in? It seems like most of you guys don't do your research and jump into this sh1t with both feet.
I know it is tough bro, but you have to let go of the 'feelz'. Your job as a man is be logical and rooted in principles, not driven by emotion like women. To me, that's the biggest difference in red pill and blue pill.kingvavy said:I get that...I've been seeing someone for 6 months now...I kept her away from my kids until just a few days ago. We did an activity together. The kids were super happy. They seemed to feed off seeing me genuinely happy, and it was a huge help having an extra set of hands. I am going to back off from doing that...thanks for the tip. They really liked her and I don't want see an attachment form.
Man, get rid of this thinking. There is no such thing as 'clinical' disorders....there is just crazy. Crazy comes from a variety of places, but you cannot discern this from the medical field. Trust me.kingvavy said:women with clinical personality disorders are extremely good at hiding the fact that they are bat **** crazy...
kingvavy said:Ok, so I'm married 7 years, 2 kids (3 and 6). My wife checked out emotionally a year ago, we've been in separate beds, etc. I came on this site a while back and poured my heart out...all the cynical vets said "prepare for divorce", I said "you're wrong"........you were all RIGHT. She asked for a divorce.
When she asked for the divorce I said "no way" and did the typical "read every self help book and change my flaws" route. I did manage to make some great personal changes that have resulted in me being far less angry, and far more in control of my emotions. She noticed the changes, but she still said she wanted a divorce. Then we had some very typical married disagreement, and she blurted out "I was going to give this a chance, but now I can see you'll never change...we need to divorce!" At that point, I had a fundamental shift inside of me. I said "nothing is worth this...if I don't get out, my kids will suffer, I am in a fundamentally abusive relationship and I deserve to be happy." Since then, I've been hanging out with friends, working out, talking to girls, generally living my life as if I'm single. I've also been spending a TON of quality time with my kids. Life is actually better. It's just BS that now that I've made a commitment to going through with the divorce, she now seems to be dragging her feet....
^^^ This is so true. There are a lot of guys in this situation right now and I honestly don't know how they can do it? I mean if I lost everything like that then had to sit back and WATCH (literally WATCH) two idiots party up with the hard earnings that I built up over years.....I'm going to hell and those two idiots would be coming with me lol.Young OG said:After reading stuff like this, I'm so glad I never married my kids mom. If we would have married, her and her boyfriend would be living in my house right now and I would be renting an apartment somewhere. Instead, there both living poor while I'm living it up!
Guys, don't ever get married!!! It's just not worth it...