You don't have a choice when you have little kids who are suffering and are confused. When it's your own kids, you step it up and just bear it. It is so sad, but the family unit is dead, and women killed it. Unless they change the family court system, our society is done. I worked two jobs to provide my "loving" wife with the opportunity to be a stay at home Mom. Well, she is still a stay at home Mom...she is staying in the mansion I secured for my family, and I am living in a two bedroom apartment down the street. I saw my kids for 3 hours yesterday. My 4 year old girl was crying "daddy don't leave..." while I handed her over to her "loving" Mother. I feel sick thinking about my situation, and about what other decent guys who tried to do the right thing are going through. There are good women out there, you just need to be really, really careful about who you are with. Take a look at what kind of family she grew up in. That is a BIG thing that I overlooked. Most people who grow up in a loving home, with decent parents are ok...the trouble is, those kind of women are really hard to find. With the divorce rate being what it is, the odds are bad. There are good women who come from broken homes, but not many...most have issues. Do your research. How does she talk about her exe's? Were they all "*******s" or "abusive?" If so, big red flag and get the **** out. If you must get married, be cold and logical about your decision. Get rid of all emotion, and look at the decision like you would approach a business deal. What is the risk? What is the opportunity cost? What were her previous relationships like? Does she get along with her parents? Does she get along with your parents? The answer reveals itself pretty quickly...Tenacity said:I don't know how they can live through that because I couldn't.
I am trying to manage this divorce in a way that will minimize the amount of pain my kids have to endure. For the other guys going through this with young kids, I cannot underestimate how helpful a trained child psychologist will be. My son literally did a 180 once we got him in. The other tip: don't let your hatred of your ex get in the way of the love you have for your kids. No matter how evil of a ***** she is, your kids still see her as mom. If you attempt to influence your kids to hate their Mom, you just end up damaging them more. If she poisons you to them, just suck it up and don't do the same. Think of Ali in a fight..eventually she will lose in the final round. Just take the punches and be logical. Document everything. Don't react. Keep your emotions under control, especially when the kids are acting out. Will check in from time to time. Thanks for the help.
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