Plate who **** tested and didn't like the outcome

[upcoming_DJ]

I think the fact that the woman isn’t a good choice for him can make the rejection even worse for most guys.

Essentially knowing that the woman is below his SMV and also has a history of making terrible choices in men, makes her rejection a bitter pill

OP in the long run you are way better without this woman. Its ok to wonder where you went wrong and there is no need to pile on someone who genuinely looks for advice or a learning opportunity

honestly it is a bitter pill given the circumstances. but always open to learning from others with more experience and or a different perspective.

I've let this one go, no matter how it stings.

thanks for the advice man, appreciate it!!

 

[upcoming_DJ]

This thread has made me realise something, and im agreeing with most people here

We are all soo uses to wild, toxic people that now there is this woman who has been open and vulnerable, polite, open to you sexually, etc. that somehow you have managed to find something wrong with that.

I find that sometimes red pilled / pua type guys almost look for things to be mad at, as if they dont even want to date women, they just want to 'put a woman in her place' or just to say 'See! Proof theyre all the same!'

yep, I am still calibrating / learning to balance new found system with the hate I went through when I first discovered the red pill.

I can still say, it's been better than where I was before - Mr Nice Guy who was also bitter because he was nice and got RAN OVER.

 

[gwoppin]

the hate I went through when I first discovered the red pill.

I definitely have experienced this too, but good job on taking responsibility on it

 

[gwoppin]

Found something wrong with that but not the fact she dated a dude who killed someone and then went back to him even after she knew about it.

That's just stunning to me.

Its strange because i empathise with her.

Unfortunately, i absolutely melt for a woman who has the ability to be bat sh*t violent or criminal but is soft and sweet to me, knows how to baby me, basically.

At this big age i know to use common sense and not go even remotely near them. Guess some people crave what they want too strongly

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

Her text basically roughly translates to "Your a cool guy and I dont think theres anything wrong with you, Im just looking for someone who looks like they can give me miles of d!ck with some affections and not care about it."

Sure she wants some seriousness of your part but that’s the least of it. Something serious with a single mom pushing 30 with a felon 187 baby daddy requires more than appeals to her reptilian brain, more than provisioning. But I give her some credit for sticking it out for baby daddy.

When you had her juices flowing at her mom’s house and she said,
“will you think bad of me if I give in right now?”
I would have looked her dead in the eye and said “mamacita after you been with all the girls I been with there is only the ones you remember and the ones you don’t” and keep sexually escalating playa. Isn’t that the end game to bang her by hook or by crook. You had her dead to rights. But you got up all in your feelings. You had your reasons.

It's easier to peel a banana from the bottom than the top. Never leave pvssy on the table especially if the b!tch is in heat in a confined space.

I think that making a girl your little whxre lightning fast is the best way to bulldoze and bypass all that flakey, annoying, sh!t testing crap. Most girls don't sh!t test guys that fvck their ass cheeks black and blue.

If this woman’s behavior disturbs your peace of mind then you got your reasons to bail on her.
Furthermore, you can't control her. You can influence her, but the second that you try to micro-manage her words, feelings, and emotions you're no longer a player.

The old guard around here will help you with red pill parables to avoid dead ends like this.
I learned a thing or two from them.

Word to the wise, The "plate" term isn't my favorite bit of jargon, but it has earned a place in the local lexicon through old tradition and long use. But only after you took the pvssy.

 

[BeExcellent]

The woman dates murderers even after she knows what they did and then goes back to them.

What else do you need to know?

Undatable

OP, you did not handle yourself well with this girl. You missed the important cues and went off/got angry over little inconsequential things. So your frame is crap (gotta be honest).

That screams out to a woman that you are behaviorally unstable. Given her history with behaviorally unstable guys, this would be disconcerting for her. Hence the shjt tests. Women need to feel SAFE before anything else. You failed in that.

Her wanting communcation from you is not unreasonable. Nobody wants to feel ignored. She's not asking for hour long phone conversations, she wants to feel like you give a crap. A quick touch base like "Hope your day is going well ". She's obviously attractive and attractive women ALWAYS have options. Always. There will be other attractive men who want a shot with her. You missed yours.

She liked YOU but you were a jerk and acted in a terribly socially uncalibrated way. She has a troubled history, but she probably tried to be supportive of her ex (and trust me none of us here know the details of what happened the night her ex killed his cousin - he might have shot his mouth off & said something ugly about her or the guy's kid - the cousin might have acted threatening to him or his family - you have no idea the context). We don't know. We can't know. Everyone is capable of killing another person under certain circumstances......

This girl cannot predict everything around her. None of us can. Who would think something like that could happen between family members. Geez.

His behavior is not her fault, and that man is still her kid's father, so it's complicated.

But that isn't the issue here. The issue is YOUR behavior. You do not have the frame you think you do.

Read up on leadership. Great leaders do not sweat the small stuff. Great leaders are trusted by people they lead. Great leaders are not jumping up and down saying "I'M THE LEADER! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO FOLLOW ME....."

That's acting like a petchulant child. She already has a kid. She has to parent that kid. She should not also have to parent you.

It's done, she lost respect based on your behavior. Go take stock in the mirror and do better next time. This goose is cooked.

 

[BaronOfHair]

OP, you did not handle yourself well with this girl. You missed the important cues and went off/got angry over little inconsequential things. So your frame is crap (gotta be honest).

That screams out to a woman that you are behaviorally unstable. Given her history with behaviorally unstable guys, this would be disconcerting for her. Hence the shjt tests. Women need to feel SAFE before anything else. You failed in that.

Her wanting communcation from you is not unreasonable. Nobody wants to feel ignored. She's not asking for hour long phone conversations, she wants to feel like you give a crap. A quick touch base like "Hope your day is going well ". She's obviously attractive and attractive women ALWAYS have options. Always. There will be other attractive men who want a shot with her. You missed yours.

She liked YOU but you were a jerk and acted in a terribly socially uncalibrated way. She has a troubled history, but she probably tried to be supportive of her ex (and trust me none of us here know the details of what happened the night her ex killed his cousin - he might have shot his mouth off & said something ugly about her or the guy's kid - the cousin might have acted threatening to him or his family - you have no idea the context). We don't know. We can't know. Everyone is capable of killing another person under certain circumstances......

This girl cannot predict everything around her. None of us can. Who would think something like that could happen between family members. Geez.

His behavior is not her fault, and that man is still her kid's father, so it's complicated.

But that isn't the issue here. The issue is YOUR behavior. You do not have the frame you think you do.

Read up on leadership. Great leaders do not sweat the small stuff. Great leaders are trusted by people they lead. Great leaders are not jumping up and down saying "I'M THE LEADER! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO FOLLOW ME....."

That's acting like a petchulant child. She already has a kid. She has to parent that kid. She should not also have to parent you.

It's done, she lost respect based on your behavior. Go take stock in the mirror and do better next time. This goose is cooked.

He shared, in the OP, that this chick's baby daddy was "under the influence" when he(BD)iced his cousin. As well as the fact that she regularly sends her kid to her grandparents on the weekends, so she can bring men(plural) home, and that she had a "wild" adolescence. All these things together indicate that something was rotten not just in Denmark, but all throughout Scandinavia, from the outset

He's dodged a metaphorical(and perhaps literal)bullet through the skull, via this entire affair going sour

 

[BeExcellent]

He shared, in the OP, that this chick's baby daddy was "under the influence" when he(BD)iced his cousin. As well as the fact that she regularly sends her kid to her grandparents on the weekends, so she can bring men(plural) home, and that she had a "wild" adolescence. All these things together indicate that something was rotten not just in Denmark, but all throughout Scandinavia, from the outset

He's dodged a metaphorical(and perhaps literal)bullet through the skull, via this entire affair going sour

I can read. It's over with this girl in any case. He was still a jerk with weak frame as I noted. At least he didn't mess up with a girl worth having. A girl worth having will dump him MUCH faster for being a jerk.

So he needs the behavioral advice in any case my friend.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I can read

You had me going momentarily, BE... I was under the impression that your hubs had purchased an Alice of his own

, and that she'd now replaced you in all areanas. Interacting with us here at SS included

 

[Sega Genesis]

It's done, she lost respect based on your behavior. Go take stock in the mirror and do better next time. This goose is cooked.

Basically agree however I think her sending that text indicated there was still something there for her. Otherwise I don't think she would have bothered.

What she wanted and hoped for was for you to step up in the ways @BeExcellent just posted.

Her wanting communcation from you is not unreasonable. Nobody wants to feel ignored. She's not asking for hour long phone conversations, she wants to feel like you give a crap. A quick touch base like "Hope your day is going well ".

Your extremely cold and a**holy response confirmed in her mind you were not capable of that.

Therefore agree with @BeExcellent this goose is cooked.

 

[upcoming_DJ]

OP, you did not handle yourself well with this girl. You missed the important cues and went off/got angry over little inconsequential things. So your frame is crap (gotta be honest).

That screams out to a woman that you are behaviorally unstable. Given her history with behaviorally unstable guys, this would be disconcerting for her. Hence the shjt tests. Women need to feel SAFE before anything else. You failed in that.

Her wanting communcation from you is not unreasonable. Nobody wants to feel ignored. She's not asking for hour long phone conversations, she wants to feel like you give a crap. A quick touch base like "Hope your day is going well ". She's obviously attractive and attractive women ALWAYS have options. Always. There will be other attractive men who want a shot with her. You missed yours.

She liked YOU but you were a jerk and acted in a terribly socially uncalibrated way. She has a troubled history, but she probably tried to be supportive of her ex (and trust me none of us here know the details of what happened the night her ex killed his cousin - he might have shot his mouth off & said something ugly about her or the guy's kid - the cousin might have acted threatening to him or his family - you have no idea the context). We don't know. We can't know. Everyone is capable of killing another person under certain circumstances......

This girl cannot predict everything around her. None of us can. Who would think something like that could happen between family members. Geez.

His behavior is not her fault, and that man is still her kid's father, so it's complicated.

But that isn't the issue here. The issue is YOUR behavior. You do not have the frame you think you do.

Read up on leadership. Great leaders do not sweat the small stuff. Great leaders are trusted by people they lead. Great leaders are not jumping up and down saying "I'M THE LEADER! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO FOLLOW ME....."

That's acting like a petchulant child. She already has a kid. She has to parent that kid. She should not also have to parent you.

It's done, she lost respect based on your behavior. Go take stock in the mirror and do better next time. This goose is cooked.

thanks a lot for the sobering thoughts and sage advice, I appreciate that a lot. As I do the others. I agree, humbled.

I am learning, I know I am not anywhere near where I want to be, and I'm still learning to calibrate and be a balanced individual.

Lots of work to do on myself, for sure.

Great to hear from you again

 

[upcoming_DJ]

Basically agree however I think her sending that text indicated there was still something there for her. Otherwise I don't think she would have bothered.

What she wanted and hoped for was for you to step up in the ways @BeExcellent just posted.



Your extremely cold and a**holy response confirmed in her mind you were not capable of that.

Therefore agree with @BeExcellent this goose is cooked.

I thought so too at first, but after I tried calling once and then waiting to see if she was going to atleast send a text or return my back, I though it better to just cut this one loose. I obviously have more work to do on myself. Frame and all.

I agree with you and BE, and realize I need to tone down the ice in my veins and just enjoy the process.

thanks!!

 

[inquisitor]

Hey folks,

without too much context, what would you deduce from the following screenshot/message:

View attachment 13269

some background info:

• 28f , 33m (age)
• her dad died when she was 11, grew up with her mom. claims that her memories of her dad was a loving dad/husband to her and her mom.
• said her "wild stage" was during high school. however, has a place of her own, is a single mom, and seems she sends her daughter to her grandmother on the weekends. this is telling me she does this to have "privacy" and is seeing other guys on the side.
• possibly alpha widow, her baby daddy killed his cousin whilst under the influence. she got back with him even after that.

was our 2nd date yesterday night, but she did a couple of things to **** test. I checked her right away and let her know we can zip it up and I can drop her home. I took her to her moms house which was unoccupied and got really close to sex. fingering, oral, etc...then she gave me the "will you think bad of me if I give in right now?" where I just cut it off. I got up and walked out. she still gave me a good bye kiss which I reluctantly took. she messaged me yesterday morning with an image of a hickie on her neck, with something along the lines of "look what you left on me ". I left her on seen. I was not happy with her behavior and I truly believe in "The medium is the message" as Rollo Tomassi lays it out. she also took out her wallet for some drinks at a club we went briefly to, spent about $70 of her own money. mixed messaging.

I don't truly care to lose her for good. she is really attractive and guys gawk her on the 2 dates we had, but I've got options and don't want the headache.

I've come a long way in killing the nice guy, and have experienced good results in the last 2 years of dating with the new frame that it's my world and she's invited on the adventure.

just curious to get some comments/feedback so I sharpen up my game. It's life long learning for me.

thanks!

You seem to enjoy shortcuts. Well, here's one: just find someone else.

There's a sense of irresponsibility going on with your post that tired my interest out.

 

[upcoming_DJ]

You seem to enjoy shortcuts. Well, here's one: just find someone else.

There's a sense of irresponsibility going on with your post that tired my interest out.

It's all good, man.

 

[upcoming_DJ]

@Glassguy just went through some of your replies in this forum and you give solid advice. I saw Queen BE recommended your advice on other posts, too. Would appreciate your advice on this thread for me, as a learning tool more than anything else.

 

[Glassguy]

@Glassguy just went through some of your replies in this forum and you give solid advice. I saw Queen BE recommended your advice on other posts, too. Would appreciate your advice on this thread for me, as a learning tool more than anything else.

The juice doesn't appear to be worth the squeeze. 2nd date and all this drama? Nope.

 

[holycrapman]

Hey just give her some love and **** her good, as a plate. I think she likes you and was explaining herself to you. Just a little check in text with your plates doesn't hurt. They are humans. Being a plate doesn't mean there is no connection. My longest plates were women I genuinely had a great connection with, I just did not want commitment

 

[Bokanovsky]

I took her to her moms house which was unoccupied and got really close to sex. fingering, oral, etc...then she gave me the "will you think bad of me if I give in right now?" where I just cut it off. I got up and walked out. she still gave me a good bye kiss which I reluctantly took. she messaged me yesterday morning with an image of a hickie on her neck, with something along the lines of "look what you left on me ". I left her on seen. I was not happy with her behavior and I truly believe in "The medium is the message" as Rollo Tomassi lays it out. she also took out her wallet for some drinks at a club we went briefly to, spent about $70 of her own money. mixed messaging.

It sounds like you didn't know how to handle some basic LMR, got triggered and overreacted. A single mom who sends her kid to grandma's house on weekends is about as DTF as they come.

 

[upcoming_DJ]

The juice doesn't appear to be worth the squeeze. 2nd date and all this drama? Nope.

yep, that's what I thought. what I had explained to her is that I enjoy the process...I told her I love my freedom but I'm curious where this could lead, and that we should take our time. I let her know I'm in no rush for a relationship.

from before we met, she was having relationship talk. maybe I really did dodge a bullet (literally and figuratively) as others have stated here.

thanks for the succinct confirmation, appreciate it!!

 

[upcoming_DJ]

It sounds like you didn't know how to handle some basic LMR, got triggered and overreacted. A single mom who sends her kid to grandma's house on weekends is about as DTF as they come.

def gotta learn to keep my thoughts and emotions in check.

you are right, should've played it cool and enjoy her some though. she was a fire body.