Plate who **** tested and didn't like the outcome

[Barrister]

I have only seen this post and not your others that the other guys are referencing.

I guess I am left wondering why such a brutal response to her? If your goal is simply to cut this off then I suppose you did the right thing. If you wanted to try to extend the relationship (whatever that was, plate or otherwise), a much more diplomatic response was needed. You can still be in control of the situation without acting like an a$$.

Disclaimer I don't know the full history here, but looking at just this exchange in a vacuum you come across incredibly cold.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

@upcoming_DJ please do not post duplicate threads in multiple forums. This was already asked in this forum and you reposted in the Mature Man forum.

You can post in one or the other but not both. I deleted the other thread.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Take care is just a sign off - you knucklehead - it wasn’t her saying she was out permanently - she didn’t test you, she actually was vulnerable and forthcoming with you - I don’t know anything about her and I am not going to read that bs CIA dossier you wrote on her which is insane - simply think that in itself, what she did was decent and she expressed her emotional needs - welcome to socio dynamics, also known as how the world actually works - you blew that for no reason

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Take care is just a sign off - you knucklehead - it wasn’t her saying she was out permanently - she didn’t test you, she actually was vulnerable and forthcoming with you - I don’t know anything about her and I am not going to read that bs CIA dossier you wrote on her which is insane - simply think that in itself, what she did was decent and she expressed her emotional needs - welcome to socio dynamics, also known as how the world actually works - you blew that for no reason

Anytime I have had a woman say "Take care" it's her basically saying she is gone.

 

[SW15]

This is a 28 year old single mom with a baby daddy with a criminal history. This is a real winner of a woman.

One thing I didn't like about this interaction is the communication of deep emotions via text message. Too many people are overly reliant on text-based communications for expressing something more than simple thoughts and details. This is the type of conversation that is best for an in-person setting or possibly a phone call.

Good luck getting a 28 year old to agree to a phone call.

The upside is that it was only 2 dates.

 

[upcoming_DJ]

Anytime I have had a woman say "Take care" it's her basically saying she is gone.

that is what I deduced from it as well.

 

[upcoming_DJ]

This is a 28 year old single mom with a baby daddy with a criminal history. This is a real winner of a woman.

One thing I didn't like about this interaction is the communication of deep emotions via text message. Too many people are overly reliant on text-based communications for expressing something more than simple thoughts and details. This is the type of conversation that is best for an in-person setting or possibly a phone call.

Good luck getting a 28 year old to agree to a phone call.

The upside is that it was only 2 dates.

yeah, I don’t like to talk about this kinda stuff over text. I actually tried calling her once and she never answered and didn’t bother returning my call or texting acknowledging, so I just did what had to be done. I’m not going to beg.

 

[Divorced w 3]

yeah, I don’t like to talk about this kinda stuff over text. I actually tried calling her once and she never answered and didn’t bother returning my call or texting acknowledging, so I just did what had to be done. I’m not going to beg.

That’s good to know. You’re dodging a bullet. Possibly literally

 

[Divorced w 3]

Anytime I have had a woman say "Take care" it's her basically saying she is gone.

I didn’t read the accompanying context but it’s certainly possible

 

[Divorced w 3]

Hey folks,

without too much context, what would you deduce from the following screenshot/message:

View attachment 13269

some background info:

• 28f , 33m (age)
• her dad died when she was 11, grew up with her mom. claims that her memories of her dad was a loving dad/husband to her and her mom.
• said her "wild stage" was during high school. however, has a place of her own, is a single mom, and seems she sends her daughter to her grandmother on the weekends. this is telling me she does this to have "privacy" and is seeing other guys on the side.
• possibly alpha widow, her baby daddy killed his cousin whilst under the influence. she got back with him even after that.

was our 2nd date yesterday night, but she did a couple of things to **** test. I checked her right away and let her know we can zip it up and I can drop her home. I took her to her moms house which was unoccupied and got really close to sex. fingering, oral, etc...then she gave me the "will you think bad of me if I give in right now?" where I just cut it off. I got up and walked out. she still gave me a good bye kiss which I reluctantly took. she messaged me yesterday morning with an image of a hickie on her neck, with something along the lines of "look what you left on me ". I left her on seen. I was not happy with her behavior and I truly believe in "The medium is the message" as Rollo Tomassi lays it out. she also took out her wallet for some drinks at a club we went briefly to, spent about $70 of her own money. mixed messaging.

I don't truly care to lose her for good. she is really attractive and guys gawk her on the 2 dates we had, but I've got options and don't want the headache.

I've come a long way in killing the nice guy, and have experienced good results in the last 2 years of dating with the new frame that it's my world and she's invited on the adventure.

just curious to get some comments/feedback so I sharpen up my game. It's life long learning for me.

thanks!

Her baby daddy is a murderer and you’re on the internet asking for advice to go out with her? Bro.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Her baby daddy is a murderer and you’re on the internet asking for advice to go out with her? Bro.

Yeah I missed that part...

OP, run don't walk away from this woman. Any woman who wants to be with someone like that is TELLING YOU WHO THEY ARE. Someone that makes poor decisions and those poor decisions do not exist in a vacuum for relationships...they extend outside that into other areas of her life.

Believe her when she is telling you who she is. 95% of relationship issues could be solved by simply believing the other person when they tell you who they are. They always will within the first few dates. Always believe them.

Too many people ignore the red flags or excuse them away.

Nope...it's always the truth, and then they wonder how things went wrong a year or two of three down the line.

Well, they went wrong because you refused to believe them.

 

[Sega Genesis]

You sound like a guy who had the Red pill and went from being a Nice Guy to the other side of being an extreme "Red pill guy'.

Took the words! I was just about to post same, too much redpilling, too much thinking everything she does or says is a "shyt test." Too much intensity.

The examples you gave were not shyt tests, and in response you were too reactionary, too emotional, too pissy.

Notwithstanding the baby daddy issue which makes this entire sitch moot, in the future learn to chill, relax and enjoy and stop reading so much into everything. Stop allowing your fears and past hurts that caused you to go red pill to steer your ship!

Good stuff from @BackInTheGame78 ,@BPH, @The Diver and a couple of others but those three stand out.

 

[Sega Genesis]

"However going days without checking in and seeing my messages and without a response shows we might have different priorities. And I don't want to be with someone nonchalant like that. Which is okay, we have different perspectives on the matter. Take care xxx"

It's unclear to me why she would write what's in bold when the sentence right before it indicates she is essentially NOT okay with it!

In any case I don't think her "take care" in this instance was a rejection necessarily especially since followed by xxx .

Her message was her covertly asking and wanting you to step up to the plate, her plate to alleviate her uncertainty and anxiety, match her expectations and become your priority.

Which after only two dates, was a bit much and would give the same advice to her as I did you, chill and relax.

Too many people are too attached to the outcome and in my opinion it ruins the entire experience of getting to know each other, having fun and enjoying the process.

 

[upcoming_DJ]

@BeExcellent would love the old lady's take on this. you've given me sage advice before. thanks

 

[BackInTheGame78]

@BeExcellent would love the old lady's take on this. you've given me sage advice before. thanks

The woman dates murderers even after she knows what they did and then goes back to them.

What else do you need to know?

Undatable

 

[Ricky]

I think the fact that the woman isn’t a good choice for him can make the rejection even worse for most guys.

Essentially knowing that the woman is below his SMV and also has a history of making terrible choices in men, makes her rejection a bitter pill

OP in the long run you are way better without this woman. Its ok to wonder where you went wrong and there is no need to pile on someone who genuinely looks for advice or a learning opportunity

 

[gwoppin]

This thread has made me realise something, and im agreeing with most people here

We are all soo uses to wild, toxic people that now there is this woman who has been open and vulnerable, polite, open to you sexually, etc. that somehow you have managed to find something wrong with that.

I find that sometimes red pilled / pua type guys almost look for things to be mad at, as if they dont even want to date women, they just want to 'put a woman in her place' or just to say 'See! Proof theyre all the same!'

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This thread has made me realise something, and im agreeing with most people here

We are all soo uses to wild, toxic people that now there is this woman who has been open and vulnerable, polite, open to you sexually, etc. that somehow you have managed to find something wrong with that.

I find that sometimes red pilled / pua type guys almost look for things to be mad at, as if they dont even want to date women, they just want to 'put a woman in her place' or just to say 'See! Proof theyre all the same!'

Found something wrong with that but not the fact she dated a dude who killed someone and then went back to him even after she knew about it.

That's just stunning to me.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Found something wrong with that but not the fact she dated a dude who killed someone and then went back to him even after she knew about it.

That's just stunning to me.

End of result of this "non-judgmentalism" nonsense going awry

 

[upcoming_DJ]

I think the fact that the woman isn’t a good choice for him can make the rejection even worse for most guys.

Essentially knowing that the woman is below his SMV and also has a history of making terrible choices in men, makes her rejection a bitter pill

OP in the long run you are way better without this woman. Its ok to wonder where you went wrong and there is no need to pile on someone who genuinely looks for advice or a learning opportunity

honestly it is a bitter pill given the circumstances. but always open to learning from others with more experience and or a different perspective.

I've let this one go, no matter how it stings.

thanks for the advice man, appreciate it!!