Over 30 and living at home? You are in good company in Italy.

[corrector]

Italy sounds like a coolest place in Europe. I was shocked at one farmer, who was successfully self-employed, could not leave his mother's home because of her good cooking. Do you think these guys are probably slaying left right and center. They have more time to do so since they are not employed.

 

[Clockwerk50]

To avoid any personal risks, let’s just say someone I know lives with his parents in his late 20s. He had a girlfriend for seven years or so, and they met in college. While she moved into her own apartment, got her own car, and started working for a big firm downtown of my city, he still lives at home, often arguing with his parents and contributing little financially. He claims he’s saving for a house, despite earning $80K a year.

Although he’s good-looking and 6'2", for those that care about heights, I assume she broke up with him because his life was stagnant. She likely found someone whose life was more aligned with hers but this is an assumption since I do not know her. Even though he’s single, he occasionally goes on trips and attends bachelor parties, but most weekends, he stays home. I doubt he’s dating much.

Take that as you will, Mr. “I get laid a lot.”

 

[corrector]

 

[Gamisch]

Same country that has one of the lowest birthrates in the world.

Most south European men have the tendency to be mama boys for life ( same in Muslim cultures) ,where the "normal" route is to stay at home and only leave home once they get married. Basically those men won't ever touch a stove or a broom. But...


Those days are OVER. Women don't want this deal anymore, and the "system " hasn't adjusted yet ( think parents /fathers that tell their sons ti "just wait untill a princess comes along).

Also shows how the gigs( Gras is greener) . Black guy wants to be Italian, Italian guy wants to be white, white guy wants to be black ect ect.

 

[corrector]

Same country that has one of the lowest birthrates in the world.

I thought that was Japan and/or South Korea

Most south European men have the tendency to be mama boys for life ( same in Muslim cultures) ,where the "normal" route is to stay at home and only leave home once they get married. Basically those men won't ever touch a stove or a broom. But...

That's interesting.

Those days are OVER. Women don't want this deal anymore, and the "system " hasn't adjusted yet ( think parents /fathers that tell their sons ti "just wait untill a princess comes along).

Depends if the princess can cook as good food as their mother....otherwise, mother's food is better. How many women do you know personally that can cook a great meal?

Also shows how the gigs( Gras is greener) . Black guy wants to be Italian, Italian guy wants to be white, white guy wants to be black ect ect.

Do explain how that works more? I'm mixed Black (Caribbean) and Italian. So you are saying that I want to be Black, Italian or White? I don't think that way....but I live with my folks and am loyal to my mother (ie I'm her caregiver too).

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Corrector,
Yeah you are right,Gamisch too,Italian Guys over here often live with their People......Guy I know well,we called the Italian stallion, is now 67,lived out the whole cycle,ended up supporting His Mum till last year when she passed on....After 35 or so he gave up on Ladies,though he had many chances...All considered not the worst option LOL.

 

[Ricky]

What about women in their 30s who live with their parents.

i know two now that are mid 30s and back with parents both post breakups to save money

 

[Gamisch]

I thought that was Japan and/or South Korea



That's interesting.



Depends if the princess can cook as good food as their mother....otherwise, mother's food is better. How many women do you know personally that can cook a great meal?



Do explain how that works more? I'm mixed Black (Caribbean) and Italian. So you are saying that I want to be Black, Italian or White? I don't think that way....but I live with my folks and am loyal to my mother (ie I'm her caregiver too).

Italian men were hyped up for the longest time. But (look up birthrates, Italy is in the same boat as S Korea, Japan and Canada) , the numbers don't lie....

It doesn't matter if princess can cook. Princess first gotta stay with the Stallion, and for some reason they don't even want that no more.

 

[Gamisch]

What about women in their 30s who live with their parents.

i know two now that are mid 30s and back with parents both post breakups to save money

Unfortunately the game is unfair like that. A 30 y.o woman living at home is actually viewed as a good thing because she is sheltered by living with her parents and it might even be a crash course "how to wife" .

A 30 y.o man with the same conditions is viewed as a loser.

 

[corrector]

A 30 y.o man with the same conditions is viewed as a loser.

Except for chads.

 

[Gamisch]

Except for chads.

Wrong!

If any country is known for having Chads is Italy. Yet they have (repeat) one of the lowest birthrates. Things are hardly ever what they seem.

Being a broke Chad in THIS environment will only take you so far. You'll get your share of punani, sure. But they won't stay.

 

[jhonny9546]

The further I go, the clearer reality becomes.
I hope that this testimony regarding the situation here in Italy can also be of interest to you.


Most committed couples have a "strong" woman who makes decisions, speaks loudly, lacks respect for the man because he must be the good guy while she is in charge, especially at home. In Italy, the man is expected to be the primary provider. In fact, the most "successful" families, those with significant wealth, social assets, numerous connections, high education levels, and quality of life for their children, tend to have men focused on their careers while women work part-time and manage the household, children, and even care for their husbands as if they were sons. The couple typically sees each other very little during the week, usually only in the evenings and on weekends, which are often problematic and marked by arguments that reveal their incompatibilities.

Publicly, the woman is seen as saintly and sweet, while privately she can be quite demanding. Italians often consider this behavior normal because many grew up with similar dynamics in their own families, seing their mother behaviour. It is common for them to be accommodating towards a woman who may disrespect them. YMMV but it is observed that a woman whose needs are fully met may be more likely to cheat. Consequently, men often feel compelled to act jealously and impose restrictions on their partners' lives in an attempt to prevent infidelity. Contrary to some beliefs expressed in this forum, maintaining a relationship in Italy often requires men to "control" women and set limits. My aunt shared how her love for my uncle never faded; she loved him deeply. When she started working at a mall, he became jealous and had her fired. She recounted this incident as if it were an act of strength on his part, a demonstration of his care for her. In this case, my uncle's controlling behavior was interpreted as a sign of affection rather than insecurity. On the other hand, some perspectives, like here in sosuave, suggest that men should provide space in relationships. For example, my cousin allowed his partner space at work, which ultimately led her to cheat on him.

Now let's discuss strong, independent men, often referred to as Mature Men, and how they are perceived in this environment: poorly.
It doesn't matter how accomplished you are or how much respect you command; if you refuse to tolerate disrespect from women and adopt an IDGAF attitude, you may be seen as dodgy or unserious. Many Italian women seek partners who possess good-natured qualities but are often immature and compliant so they can manipulate them emotionally and sexually. Men who cannot be easily manipulated typically do not start families, because women don't want them for that. Finding a woman who will respect you as an independent man is very challenging in Italy. I have many attractive friends who have their lives together but still single; they also have few male friends, because it's tricky to find Mature Men in Italy.
In contrast, less successful individuals, jealous, insecure, unattractive men who neglect their appearance and self-improvement, often start families and dispense life advice based on their experiences. They may project an IDGAF attitude but are actually trapped in traditional views that prevent them from seeing beyond their circumstances. (Bluepill)

There’s a common saying in Italy: "A woman changes you" implying that she transforms a man into someone more mature or responsible. However, this notion is distorted; it suggests manipulation rather than genuine recognition of qualities that earn respect. Many mothers reinforce this dynamic with their children. I observe similar patterns with my nephews and how my sister and brother-in-law raise them.

So what's the destiny for Mature Men who want to start a Family, here in Italy?

 

[SW15]

What about women in their 30s who live with their parents.

i know two now that are mid 30s and back with parents both post breakups to save money

It's been my perception that adult men are far more likely to live at home with a parent/parents than adult women.

I have known 25-34 year olds who have lived at home. They are almost always male. I only knew one woman who did that in her late 20s and she was a complete loser.

Women don't tend to live at home as adults because they get preferential treatment in hiring. They are more likely to have jobs.

Being a broke Chad in THIS environment will only take you so far. You'll get your share of punani, sure. But they won't stay.

I don't think many good looking, broke men care about retaining women they've had sex with for an extended period of time.

@BPH is 30, has lived at home for multiple years, and is getting laid regularly.

Back in 2011, pickup artist Roosh wrote about being 31 years old, living in his dad's basement in between international seduction travels, and getting laid in a Maryland suburb of Washington DC.

Getting Laid While Unemployed And Living In Your Dad’s Basement

 

[characternote]

this seems to be a thing in the UK too, nowadays.
Tonnes and tonnes of adults live at home with their parents here. I guess a result of low wages and insanely high rent!
People don't want to give up 90% of their wages on rent and then have no money left to actually enjoy life lol

 

[SW15]

this seems to be a thing in the UK too, nowadays.
Tonnes and tonnes of adults live at home with their parents here. I guess a result of low wages and insanely high rent!
People don't want to give up 90% of their wages on rent and then have no money left to actually enjoy life lol

The trend of post-schooling young adults in their 20s/30s living at home in the USA started to emerge with the dot com bust recession of the early 2000s. Graduating classes of 2001 and 2002 had a difficult time getting jobs. The trend lingered a little bit until the late 2000s, when the Great Recession hit. In the late 2000s/early 2010s, this trend took off in the USA. The Millennial generation (the children of the large Baby Boomer generation) was ending their schooling and the economy was in poor shape. 20 something Millennials were living at home in record numbers even beyond age 25.

From 2023-present, white collar work has been in recession in the USA. There have been a lot of white collar layoffs. Additionally, the new Gen Z graduates aren't getting hired. A lot of late Millennials (the 1990-1996 births who weren't in the workforce in the Great Recession) and early Gen Z'ers are now living at home.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This is not uncommon in Europe where kids stay living with their parents for longer than they typically do in the US and it's viewed as not only acceptable but in many cases preferable since they have right knit family groups.

This is a cultural norm in Europe. It is not a cultural norm in the US and is viewed very differently here.

Trying to make comparisons between the two are futile for this reason. In Europe it's normal and not viewed as any sort of issue while dating. In the US, you are much more likely to viewed as a loser and undesirable in the dating market due to this.

My father is from Europe and he always tells me how he views Americans as cold in their interactions towards their family most times and how it's different there.

 

[SW15]

In the US, you are much more likely to viewed as a loser and undesirable in the dating market due to this.

Only males in the US face this stigma. If an adult female lives at home with a parent/parents, it has almost no impact upon her desirability in the dating market.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Only males in the US face this stigma. If an adult female lives at home with a parent/parents, it has almost no impact upon her desirability in the dating market.

That's true. I would guess the typical female who lives at home versus the typical male who lives at home are far different tho.

Most of these females have jobs, their own car and have money saved up while many of the males are unemployed, smoke weed and play video games all day.

 

[SW15]

Most of these females have jobs, their own car and have money saved up

This is generally why females do not need to live at home. They have jobs due to preferential hiring practices.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This is generally why females do not need to live at home. They have jobs due to preferential hiring practices.

This is a pretty dumb mindset