F*** it i'll bite.
On experience
If a girl is really into you SHE WILL NOT CARE and a girl that has experience
will know right off the bat if you've not done it before anyways. Should you reveal this info to her? Generally I'd say no, but honest to god
there are women that do not care. If you've gotten her out on some dates, brought her back home, and she's undressing in front of you, she's into you. She isn't gonna suddenly pop all her clothes back on and dip out when she realizes you're new to things...
I was a late bloomer and spent time in sexually absent relationships due to mutual hangups and a conservative/religious background. It bugged me for a while, the whole
'experience' thing and I was living at home in a complete dry spell. Eventually, I just said **** it and put myself out there and it worked out. It was all internalized fear and with each passing year it became larger and larger. I got tired of it. The girl I landed could give less of a s*** because with my attitude and mentality alone she thought I had a high notch count at the time. Did I perform well? Nope! but I didn't care and neither did she... and once again if the girl is into you genuinely she will see past that and even show you the ropes.
And if the lack of experience bugs her she can piss off.
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On being at home and social life
I am younger than you and still live at home, but I felt similar to you in the not so distant past. I had the same thought that
since I live at home what girl would want anything to do with me??? Well the girls i'm seeing now don't care, I also actively sought out girls with their own place. (I quite literally put in my tinder bio I'm homebound for now and if that's a problem adios).
You need to care less about it and make do. I don’t know why you are homebound, but I am not going to judge you on that. Dating has been a core motivator in getting my ass out of my parents house among other things…
Why is it you still live at home? Are you actively working to get out on your own? Do you want to move out? Having drive and being on your purpose is attractive to women and if a girl sees your desire and willingness to change she may look past living at home entirely. Also, post pandemic a lot of people moved back home,
it isn’t that big of a deal if you don’t make it one. That said, I'd say trying to get out is a good thing in general. Again… I don’t know why you are homebound, but reflect on whether you ‘should’ be out and what you are doing to move you towards that goal.
As for social life.
If you haven't made an effort to maintain a social group then it is what it is. All you can do is start putting yourself out there and making new connections. It is hard and I've had to start fresh multiple times, but it is possible. Just like in dating you need to take the initiative and put yourself in environments with people who interest you. Force yourself out if you have to and
if you’ve got social anxiety it's time to tackle it.
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On inner game
Your posts come across as someone severely lacking in confidence and it sounds like
you do not value yourself. Your username alone speaks volumes, we all need some self improvement and as a man you should be in a constant pursuit of excellence and growth. With that in mind:
-Do not self deprecate. it will only keep you in the cycle of commiseration and cynicism.
-Do not validate your confirmation biases before you have even dipped your toes in the water.
-Do not allow the negative views of others cloud and influence your judgment. (misery loves company)
-Do not talk down to yourself period. Acknowledge those self defeating thoughts and address them head on. You’ve got to have the balls to confront your insecurities.
-Do! test your comfort zone
-Do! take inventory of your life and assess
-Do! create tangible and achievable goals
-Do! give yourself credit when you have achieved something
Come to understand you are your own worst enemy.
You are the limiting factor in your own growth and success with women, money and life on the whole.
It is not some hippy dippy hoohah, it is reality. If you tell yourself you are a failure then you will internalize that as your de facto state of mind. That is not healthy. You need to learn to value yourself more and express gratitude. Alongside that you must address as candidly as possible where you are lacking. Identify your own sexual market value and see if your standards for women match where you currently are. Depending on where you stack up, adjust as needed or create reasonable expectations. Remember that in dating you reflect out like a mirror.
You want some super hot babe? You better be a hot dude or very successful.
Keep that in mind…
You should be the priority in your life right now. If you aren’t where you want to be in life then put women aside for the time being and focus on you and you alone. Inner game like its name only comes from within. You need confidence and to build that takes a concerted effort and a good chunk of time.
There is no ‘too late’ there is just now. Come to terms with things as they are and decide to make a change in your life for the better.
That is a hard but necessary thing to do.
Start small. Stack W’s not L’s. Something as simple as setting an intention to get up on time or go for a walk is a good start. Do not wait for motivation to come, kill it with discipline instead! As you begin to stack wins you will build momentum. You mentioned in another post you have lost a significant amount of weight, that is fantastic and you should be proud. Now keep going and march towards your fitness goals like you would anything else in life. Quit finding new self imposed obstacles to impede your progress.
I’ve seen a lot of your posts here today man, I get the impression you aren’t in the best place mentally and I empathize with you. If you are depressed, consider seeking professional help. I’m going to leave a link to a post I think you should read as it is extremely pertinent.
You define your life. Not your grandparents, church, or friends. When you give up those rules to someone else, YOU are to blame if you don’t like where you are at.
bookofpook.com
That and if you haven’t read it I highly recommend No More Mr.Nice Guy by Dr.Glover.
