Online dating tips?

[Slash Dolo]

Hey guys. So I'm not sure if it's just me, but online dating sites are kicking my ass. I like to think I'm a good looking guy with good game. I can lay hb8's irl pretty easily. I can date and lay 9's with a some work and good game as well. I would consider myself, in the looks department, at least an 8-8.5 as well. Try as I may, I can not get a response back on online dating sites however. I mean, rarely I will get a response from an actual attractive girl, but I can't even get a response from 7's on there most of the time! What gives? I've been trying various messages too, not really sticking to one set thing and not being boring and thirsty like the majority of guys. I know personality and game has a lot more to do with things than looks, but how is ANY guy supposed to do well on dating sites if they don't look like Brad Pitt? Any of you guys have tips?

 

[backseatjuan]

Do not use online dating sites they are worthless. Those sites are for beautiful people. All people are drawn to opposite sex individuals which are just a bit more beautiful than them, not too ugly, and not too beautiful, so that there is a chance of getting some. But you have to realize that you are on this site because your exteriour just isn't it. Those online dating sites will be kicking your ass forever. Don't waste your time. Create a mysteriour profile and leave it at that, don't message anyone. Once in a while a stupid girl will come up which will message you herself, you'd fvck her, and it won't go past first or two sexual intercourses, and it will be the end of it. So why bother. Others will tell you that online dating really works. It might work for them because they have the looks. But let's face it, you don't have the looks. Let's leave it at that.

 

[goodasitgets]

I call b.s. on this. If you're an 8.5 your inbox would be full. If you can bang 8's and 9's IRL then you won't have a problem with 4's 5's 6's on dating sites. If you're banging the best looking women around IRL with well above average looks why would you lower your standards online to get the overweight fatties & rejects?

 

[Slash Dolo]

I have no reason to lie on the internet to (male) strangers on a forum. I previously did some amateur model work when I was younger, just got out of a two year relationship with a gorgeous girl (9) and have been casually dating since then. The most attractive girl I've had sex with since the breakup has been a solid 9, about a month ago. I could show pictures of the girls, but you're not going to believe me anyway.

The main reason I'm trying the online thing is to work towards finding a relationship. Just because a girl is a 9 doesn't mean she is interesting or devoid of acting like a high school drama queen. This lets me expand outside of my social circle.

 

[backseatjuan]

The main reason I'm trying the online thing is to work towards finding a relationship.

LOL!

 

[jurry]

What site do you use? It is purely a numbers game, Ive heard match is the best one. Have good pics and a funny relaxed profile and shoot out 20 messages or so. Then move on, OLD is not good as your only source for meeting women.

 

[EFFORT]

Espi nailed it. (I use a very similar approach if not exactly the same)

The most important thing about online dating is VOLUME. 1000-5000 Messages should provide most guys with more women than they could ever handle. You should be on at least 4 sites.

You need to be scheduling dates ASAP. My standard routine is

1. Initial Message (Standard copy paste message not based on her profile, I don't read profiles)
2. Second Message
3. Schedule Date

If they won't agree for the date I stop responding to them. Don't waste time having email exchanges and don't fiddle around texting them.

Answer the questions Espi asked you so we can provide more detailed advice.

 

[LMFAO]

I've gotten a number of decent bangs from online dating mainly Tinder, OKCupid and occasionally Match.

What you have to decide first is this. What do you want out of it. Those sites work best for one night stands however many girls are on there looking for serious relationships. I don't like to waste my time with those girls. I message a **** load of girls using the same few openers without looking at their profiles then work my way to drinks within 3-5 messages. I go through about 5 girls a week, many of them end up flaking, some of them will not agree to meet up on your terms (my terms are close to where I live rather in the middle between us with terrible logistics), others are just fvcking b1tches. At this point I have one casual sex girl from online dating, one possible future bang (she's out of town at moment) she wouldn't go further than fingering on first date, two new girls for the next week and two other girls arriving on holiday in a few weeks.

I've not been banging the 8s however they have mostly been 6s and 7s. All it means is I can bang hotter women through other means.

 

[Slash Dolo]

Thanks for the helpful responses guys. I'm glad that it isn't just me that has a low success rate. Mauser explained things very well.

You're best to provide us a link to your online profile--we can critique from there and offer suggestions. But again--keep in mind, that if you've emailed only 5 women so far and haven't gotten laid or met anyone, you're not putting in the effort.

I would prefer to remain anonymous. I can give you a general rundown of it however.

How many photos did you post and what did you write about yourself?
I have about 7 pictures. Two with ex girlfriends. Of course I pick a variety of shots, smiling, not smiling, etc. The profile itself describes me fairly vaguely, but hammers home that I don't want bullsh*t or boring and typical. I slyly put in the fact that I used to do some amateur modeling since girls are shallow status-craving b*tches.

How many chicks have you emailed so far, and of those you've emailed, how many have you actually invited for a drink?
10. 2. I've been trying a variety of openings. Of the 10, only 7 have read the messages. The chicks range from HB7s to HB9s. I've gotten messages, but it's from... larger women.

Which site are you using?
POF. If I should be using a different one, let me know.

How often are you logged on?
A few times a day, briefly. Should I be on more?

 

[jurry]

Crop out the ex girlfriends, remove the part about amateur modeling, add a joke or some sarcasm, and try out OKCupid or match. Send many more messages as Espi mentioned.

 

[goodasitgets]

Not true, in my opinion. The leverage on OLD sites is heavily skewed in the woman's favor.

In my experience, most average-looking and above-average-looking guys will get a small influx of emails from HB7's and below in the first day or two of subscribing, but from then on, 99.99999% of guys will have to do the legwork--and these basic attraction rules apply EVERYWHERE when it comes to men picking up women. They don't come to him. The man is expected to initiate. ALWAYS.

I think you missed my point. Girls who don't recieve many messages from guys will check out your profile and message you. If he's a 8.5 those girls would send him messages. If a hot girl is matched with you she will message you if she sees your profile. If he's an 8.5 almost all girls will reply to his messages. Most people on OLD are average to below average looking. Well above average guys will get the most replies.

Biology 101.

A hot chick who's subscribed online has 1,001 hot guys competing for her. All she has to do is create the profile and then pick-and-choose her way through the inbox.

If he's really an 8.5 she would respond to his message. Other guys are below average looking and will get ignored. Hot chicks view your profile when you view theirs. If they think you are hot they will message you if you don't message them.

This is what females do regardless of the venue--their main dilemma is ELIMINATING--and they're naturally inclined and skilled at doing this--in bars, at grocery stores, and, yes, on online dating sites.

The men chase. The women pick.

Biology 101.

If you're really an 8.5 you don't get eliminated since most guys are not an 8.5. Girls want a guy that is an 8.5 not a 5.5.

 

[Obsidian]

I get that online dating might potentially be somewhat of a beauty contest. That said, I still think it is kinda lame when guys view themselves as an "8.5" as though we were rated based on our appearance like a girl is.

And yeah, I would take off the part about modeling because that does not add to your status. Adding to your status would be like, if you were the town Sheriff, or rich, or a successful writer or actor. In terms of modeling, your pictures should speak for themselves.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Dude, there is no way if you are a good looking guy you can't get chicks to respond back unless you are sending lame messages like "Hey sexy" or "You look good" or some other variation of that message the women get 80% of the time...

I'm an average to slightly above average looking guy, maybe a 6 or 6.5---built like a college linebacker tho, so that might help I guess, but I have absolutely no issues getting women to respond. Yeah, its not every one of them, but if I send out 20 messages in the morning, I will have 4 to 5 numbers by the end of the day.

Either you are only sending out a very small number of messages, your profile is poorly written so you are turning women off with it, or you aren't as good looking as you think you are...

I've banged 4 new women I met online the past month, all by the 2nd date...
this is not rocket science, its really easy bro...

 

[goodasitgets]

I have no reason to lie on the internet to (male) strangers on a forum. I previously did some amateur model work when I was younger, just got out of a two year relationship with a gorgeous girl (9) and have been casually dating since then. The most attractive girl I've had sex with since the breakup has been a solid 9, about a month ago. I could show pictures of the girls, but you're not going to believe me anyway.

The main reason I'm trying the online thing is to work towards finding a relationship. Just because a girl is a 9 doesn't mean she is interesting or devoid of acting like a high school drama queen. This lets me expand outside of my social circle.

Ratings are subjective. What you think a 9 is might not be what I think a 9 is. If you're really an 8.5 almost every girl you message would reply. Most girls on OLD are not better than a 7. Most are average looking and below. If you're an 8.5 you would look better than just about every guy on the site. Almost every girl would respond or write to you. OLD is not a good place for relationships. Most chicks on there have issues and suck in relationships.

Dude, there is no way if you are a good looking guy you can't get chicks to respond back unless you are sending lame messages like "Hey sexy" or "You look good" or some other variation of that message the women get 80% of the time...

I'm an average to slightly above average looking guy, maybe a 6 or 6.5---built like a college linebacker tho, so that might help I guess, but I have absolutely no issues getting women to respond. Yeah, its not every one of them, but if I send out 20 messages in the morning, I will have 4 to 5 numbers by the end of the day.

Either you are only sending out a very small number of messages, your profile is poorly written so you are turning women off with it, or you aren't as good looking as you think you are...

I've banged 4 new women I met online the past month, all by the 2nd date...
this is not rocket science, its really easy bro...

Even if he just wrote "hey" he would get responses if he's an 8.5. Most chicks don't read your profile. They just look at your pics. Most guys on OLD are average and below average looking. If you're an 8.5 you would clean up as the best looking guy. Guys like to overrate their looks and the women they date. I called b.s. for that reason. If you aren't getting replies you aren't good looking at all.

 

[Slash Dolo]

Just to silence the trolls, here's a girl I banged about a month ago: http://i.imgur.com/50fNTl8.jpg

You can believe that or not, but I have no reason to lie on the internet to strangers as I said. If I AM overrating myself, I'd say I'm an 8 and not an 8.5 then. I have a chiseled face, nice eyes and an athletic build. I'd say that's at least an 8.

MAYBE it's my height, as I'm a lowly 5'9 and that's listed on my profile (not an issue in real life tbh.) MAYBE I'm setting my standards too high as I've only messaged one 7 and the rest have been 8's and 9's. MAYBE I'm just unlucky and am messaging girls who are in a relationship currently/just want an ego boost. I dabbled in online dating a few years back and got some pretty hot chicks to reply, but the success rate now is REALLY low it feels like.

Totally respect your anonymity.

In my opinion, 10 emails is not enough. I know it SEEMS like a lot. But that's NOTHING. You gotta spend more time than the average guy--and you gotta be willing to put yourself out there more than the average guy...which means that you gotta email more than the average guy--at LEAST 5 times as many chicks.

Don't be like the average guy and wait for them to come to you. TELL them to meet you!!!

I suggest doing this: Go on match.com and take the time to create a username and a full profile with 6-7 photos. You don't have to pay match.com anything to do that.

Include 1-2 shirtless photos, and try to make that shirtless one of you at the beach or working out.

Then, try to be patient and wait until WED or THURS to subscribe. By then, you'll likely have a handful of incoming messages, even though it'll be anonymous--because you haven't paid to subscribe, you won't be able to to discern who's sent you an email.

It could be a fattie or an ugly or a spammer who's emailing you, but chances are very likely that of the 5 messages, you'll get 1-2 messages from 7's or hotties who want to meet you. BUT--WAIT to respond--even if she's hot. Remember that 99.9999% of guys who join match.com are betas who will respond within an hour or a day of a chick who emails the hot new guy. The DJ who takes his time and seems picky is the one who ultimately succeeds and meets the hottest chicks...so make them WAIT a few days THEN invite them for a drink--on the very first email.

Subscribe for one month only--resist the temptation to subscribe longer...match.com will send you an invite to subscribe at 3 months or 6 months or a year, at a discounted rate. Avoid that. You'll get emails from chicks in the first week or so only--then the messages will stop. So subscribing longer than a month is a total waste of your time and money. Match.com makes money off of guys who are willing to spend more money on 3-month or 6-month subscriptions. Don't fall for it!! Stick to one month only. If you do what I say, you'll have more women than you can physically handle in the next month.

Start by searching and then emailing the hottest 100 chicks that you like--I like to search filter by Newest only. Invite them out for a drink on the very first email: "Dam girl your body is rocking! I'd like you to meet me for a drink tomorrow night at 7 at the Rusty Nail on 5th and Main in Tampa [be specific]...will you meet me??" They will either say "yes" or "no." The ones who say "no", you can simply ask again in 2-3 weeks, before your subscription ends.

Create the profile now and then, starting WED or THURS of next week, pay to subscribe, and then spend an hour or two each evening hunting down the hottest chicks on match.com., until you have a few that reply--you will then have a few dates lined up for the weekend.

Very solid advice. Much appreciated.

 

[old married dude]

Just to silence the trolls, here's a girl I banged about a month ago: http://i.imgur.com/50fNTl8.jpg
MAYBE it's my height, as I'm a lowly 5'9 and that's listed on my profile (not an issue in real life tbh.)

It really could be. I've noticed height is extremely important, even more so than looks on OLD. Cheat a little and list your height as 5'10", if you can cheat an inch they're not likely going to notice and it will help get you a few more replies. Us guys under 6' are at quite disadvantage in OLD, so the closer you can get yourself to that mark on your profile, the better.

A guy I know who's a 4/10 looks wise, but is 6'6" gets 30 messages per day from women on various sites. I'm probably a 7-7.5 looks wise, but I'm 5'8" & I'll get maybe 3 or 4 messages per day. Funny thing is I close more deals in person than this guy because he has 0 game. He says he doesn't need to study game b/c of his height. It's true, he can get laid on height alone, but he'd really be closing left and right if he wasn't so lazy & would check out some sites like this one.

 

[Heisenburger]

Online dating should be purely for your own amusement. Play it as a game. No expectations or anything in return. Doesn't matter if your 'ugly'. It's like a fast track of experiencing rejection and onto the next girl.

Tease the f.ck out of duckface and her mirror pose. Burst their love balloon.

You should be laughing out loud when writing out the messages you send to them.

For example - girl wearing a leopard skin shirt in photo and describes herself as an animal lover

'Oiiii madam. Animal lover and wearing a leopard skin skirt. Absooooolute hypocrite. I'm calling wwf'

It's all about you. Whether your a '1' or a '9'. Make it fun for yourself.

 

[GS750]

One member here, can't remember who, described online dating as a video game for women. If you look at it that way, you won't take these entitled girls on these sites seriously. And you shouldn't.

 

[marmel75]

I agree with Espi, you should be emailing at least 20 per day...if you only feel like spending a few days doing this, try 50 a day for 2 or 3 days...

Also, I am 5'8" IRL but when I used to do online dating I was 5'10"...add 2 inches to your height...I've only been called out once on it, where the woman said "How tall are you again?" to which I responded "Tall enough". Must have been a good response since I was banging her 2 hours later...

 

[9Volt]

Everyone knows the main thing to get responses is how good you look in your pictures. Use 4 of your absolute BEST because your profile and response rate is ONLY as good as your worst picture.

Add two inches to your height.

Use one unique, funny to a chick (not knocking her as their ego's are paper thin online) and then just ask her a quick question after she responds and then third message tell her to give you her number and set up a meet on the phone. Do NOT waste time trying to be a clown online. Do not waste time chatting online. If you want to possibly meet these chicks you need to go for their numbers as soon as you can or even in one message. Your response rate will mostly depend on your pictures and the competition in your area.

To gauge how good you'd do log out. Search as a "woman" for men 25-34 age range (the most popular age range for chicks to reply to) and look for athletic white men. (Most replies are gotten by athletic white males around 25-34 age range.) Now if you see a ton of jacked cut up dudes who honestly look better than you do in your pictures? You can guess your reply rate will be low till the chicks have been ran through by the top looking dudes using the site. (It is what it is.)

Spam out your opener (whatever seems to work best) and if things aren't broke for you? Don't try to fix them.

Just remember chicks who use online "dating" are on there for a reason. And the better she looks the less she should need to use online "dating" unless she's a whack job, sloot, or damaged with baggage etc.

Then again you shouldn't be looking for "wifey" online. OLD is the new intimate encounters/ "friend" finder, hookup sites as no one goes on those "sex finder sites" as they're loaded with fake profiles etc. OLD is a "respectable" way to pump and dump for most who use those sites. Nothing more than thinly veiled sex sites disguised as "dating" sites.