Online dating efficiency

[CaptFinnBad]

I'm 40 now. Come out of a longterm relationship, getting ready to get back out there.

Thinking about doing a bit of online dating. I've always done alright in the past using online so I have a rough idea what to expect, although that's going back a good few years!

I want to have a bit of fun this year after being in a relationship for so long.

I want to maximise efficiency of online. Plenty of opportunities to meet women in real life, but I'm figuring I may as well use online as a tool .

So looking at advice on crafting a good profile, what types of pictures work best, things to stick on the profile and what to leave out.

Is it better to have multiple accounts with different providers or stick to one platform?

Which are the better sites for free users. E.t.c.

Basically everything and anything in regards on maximising efficiency when using online.

Really not interested in negativity bashing online dating or anything depressing like that.

Looking to actually putting a little time and effort setting it all up just to get the best results I can.

So guys share your tips, advice, what gets you the best results..

 

[SW15]

The swipe apps are hyper efficient for the Top 5-10% of men on looks and dismal for nearly everyone else.

They can be effective but inefficient for some mid-tier men but it's more likely to be a dismal or unpleasant experience.

 

[CaptFinnBad]

The swipe apps are hyper efficient for the Top 5-10% of men on looks and dismal for nearly everyone else.

They can be effective but inefficient for some mid-tier men but it's more likely to be a dismal or unpleasant experience.

How do they work? I presume you can't send messages until someone swipes you?

If so do you get a notification of someone swipes on you, then you can just swipe them back and message them?

What's the best way to use them?

What are the best non swipe apps?

 

[SW15]

I might stay away from them or just keep them running in the background.

I would recommend that you focus on meeting women in real life. Running them in the background is likely to mess with your ability to evaluate your prospects well. It's something that seems plausible in theory but is more challenging in reality.

How do they work? I presume you can't send messages until someone swipes you?

It's necessary for people to right swipe on each other for someone to send the first message. It is likely that the man sends the first message.

This is a change from the website era of dating in the 2000s/early 2010s when anyone could send messages randomly.

If so do you get a notification of someone swipes on you, then you can just swipe them back and message?

If you have previously right swiped them, then they are one of your matches and you can send them a message.

If you haven't swiped on them before and they swiped right on you, you will need a premium level membership on most apps to see who has right swiped you. For most men, the least desirable women (usually fat and/or single moms) will be likely to be women who right swipe on him before he swipes on her.

What's the best way to use them?

Be 6'0"+ with big muscles and have good photos/videos. Preferably also a top level salary while being 6'0"+ with an elite physique and great pictures.

What are the best non swipe apps?

Mostly everything is swipe now. I think Match still allows messaging without a swipe, a nod to its pre-swipe app history.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I used Tinder It was great. Really, one doesn’t need much of a bio, other than don’t communicate that you are a psycho.
Don’t worry too much about photos. I used an iPhone selfie as my primary picture. Choose your Spotify tune with care. I choose aggressive music like Judas Priest ‘Ram it down’ and ‘Jawbreaker’
When you match, read her bio, IG & listen to her Spotify. You can then send a message that is tailored to them. When you start communicating with them, get them off Tinder and in to your text ASAP.
Set up a meet or date ASAP.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

How do they work? I presume you can't send messages until someone swipes you?

If so do you get a notification of someone swipes on you, then you can just swipe them back and message them?

What's the best way to use them?

What are the best non swipe apps?

If you swipe right on her & she also swipes right on you, Tinder will send you a delightful ring that will pump up your dopamine. You can then message her. Or she may message you. At least that’s how basic Tinder works.

 

[FlirtLife]

I used Tinder It was great. Really, one doesn’t need much of a bio, other than don’t communicate that you are a psycho.
Don’t worry too much about photos. I used an iPhone selfie as my primary picture.

Agreeing with the bio being ignored, but photos mattered for me. I had a beach photo that seemed to be very successful when I did well on Tinder. A few years after that, I got lazy and used boring indoor photos, and the drop off in response was dramatic.

 

[FlirtLife]

How do they work? I presume you can't send messages until someone swipes you?

If so do you get a notification of someone swipes on you, then you can just swipe them back and message them?

Right.

The most popular is Tinder. When someone swipes right on you, and then you swipe right on them, you get notified "It's a match!". Then you can start chatting with them. If they're online at the time, you might be chatting live with them, but often you're going back and forth at different times of the day.

My experience may differ from yours, but half of my matches were using very old photos. The photos were taken many pounds ago. If that situation bothers you, consider it practice dating.

 

[Solomon]

Bumble and Hinge work very well, focus on pics showing of your physique, hobbies, etc
Easy to funnel dates if you do it properly
Try to set Dates/meets up within 72 hours, you gotta strike while the iron is hot
IME do not waste effort with a woman who can't meet within 7 days, they tend to be time wasters looking for attention

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Agreeing with the bio being ignored, but photos mattered for me. I had a beach photo that seemed to be very successful when I did well on Tinder. A few years after that, I got lazy and used boring indoor photos, and the drop off in response was dramatic.

I used a variety of pictures. I never thought much about wearing a suit. I threw the pic in anyway. Obviously Brooke liked it.

 

[Solomon]

Also remember this is your competition online, don't be a weirdo

 

[The Duke]

Also remember this is your competition online, don't be a weirdo

Player ain't messing around. Thats some solid MODE- 1 ;-)

 

[CaptFinnBad]

So less than a week now. I think I did something wrong because I wasn't getting likes with tinder, which doesn't seem right. I deleted that. I'll retry later down the line.

On the other site I joined I'm struggling to keep up with the women messaging me. I'm just asking/ getting phone numbers in the first couple messages.

I'm going to put my account as hidden. Focus on the ones in my phone. I'm thinking I don't want to burn through the local women on the site, by not replying or giving half arsed responses.

So just use the site to refresh and get some new numbers , when needed.

I think that would be a sensible way to do it?

 

[CaptFinnBad]

I'm also struggling to keep up with details of each conversation. Also a bit of a pressure to have to reply to them.

Some of them seem to be get irritable, especially when they see me online, but I'm talking to other women.

The way I've used these sites in the past is keep my profile hidden (doesn't seem to be an option for that now), message a woman focus on her.

Replace if that didn't work. But I was using it to look for a relationship.

I want to bang lots of women now, have a few casual regular girlfriends. My mindset DOES not align with this at the moment. I've always been the nice relationship type guy.

 

[Solomon]

So less than a week now. I think I did something wrong because I wasn't getting likes with tinder, which doesn't seem right. I deleted that. I'll retry later down the line.

On the other site I joined I'm struggling to keep up with the women messaging me. I'm just getting phone numbers in the first couple messages.

I'm going to put my account as hidden. Focus on the ones in my phone. I'm thinking I don't want to burn through the local women on the site, by not replying or giving half arsed responses.

So just use the site to refresh and get some new numbers , when needed.

I think that would be a sensible way to do it?

Sounds like you're good looking fella. This is what I would do. Say you have 10 women. Try to set up dates with the hottest 3.
The bottom 3 I would try to get over to my house asap or vet women who are DTF so you don't have to take them on dates and over to your place. From my experience that usually is 1 out of 10 women but since you're good looking fella it might be 3 out of 10. Usually if women are into you they will also come over after the date. Personally dates can get expensive so try to keep it cheap

I'm also struggling to keep up with details of each conversation. Also a bit of a pressure to have to reply to them.

Some of them seem to be get irritable, especially when they see me online, but I'm talking to other women.

The way I've used these sites in the past is keep my profile hidden (doesn't seem to be an option for that now), message a woman focus on her.

Replace if that didn't work. But I was using it to look for a relationship.

I want to bang lots of women now, have a few casual regular girlfriends. My mindset DOES not align with this at the moment. I've always been the nice relationship type guy.

If you just want to bang, the best thing would be to have "short term" or "Casual" on your profile. You will most likely lose on a lot of women that way but, there are tons of women in online dating that are DTF. It's all about how you frame shyt and your game i.e. not making a girl feel like a wh0re

Going on dates if you're just trying to smash is to expensive and pointless. Yes you may have to do it. So try to keep it cheap but if you have solid game a couple girls should be DTF to come over straight away.

To keep track of the women what I do is I talk to 3 of them one day, and another 3 the next and so forth. Also I keep a folder with notes just in case. It's easy to get conversations confused trust me had that happen you do not want to embarrass yourself because you attributing wrong info to the wrong chick.

 

[CaptFinnBad]

Sounds like you're good looking fella. This is what I would do. Say you have 10 women. Try to set up dates with the hottest 3.
The bottom 3 I would try to get over to my house asap or vet women who are DTF so you don't have to take them on dates and over to your place. From my experience that usually is 1 out of 10 women but since you're good looking fella it might be 3 out of 10. Usually if women are into you they will also come over after the date. Personally dates can get expensive so try to keep it cheap



If you just want to bang, the best thing would be to have "short term" or "Casual" on your profile. You will most likely lose on a lot of women that way but, there are tons of women in online dating that are DTF. It's all about how you frame shyt and your game i.e. not making a girl feel like a wh0re

Going on dates if you're just trying to smash is to expensive and pointless. Yes you may have to do it. So try to keep it cheap but if you have solid game a couple girls should be DTF to come over straight away.

To keep track of the women what I do is I talk to 3 of them one day, and another 3 the next and so forth. Also I keep a folder with notes just in case. It's easy to get conversations confused trust me had that happen you do not want to embarrass yourself because you attributing wrong info to the wrong chick.

Nah I'm not even great looking to be honest. Average at best. I think I'm going to start keeping * by their names so I don't get mixed up with clients.

 

[Solomon]

Nah I'm not even great looking to be honest. Average at best. I think I'm going to start keeping * by their names so I don't get mixed up with clients.

When getting to know woman I can be a bit lovebomby, but not in a chasing simp type way.

I'll tend to naturally open up their darkest dirty fantasies, I love that stuff. Then on the flip side I have like the nicest, sweetest caring , cutest side to me. As in really ****ing wholesome.

I'm genuinely a little concerned the mind f* ckery I could be doing to these women. I'll play with things like, feelings ofconnection, possession, ownership.

Example. I had a woman this week , tell me she belongs to me, say that I own her and had her beg for me to make her pregnant whilst she was cumming.

I told her it was just play after, we talked about it and I explained that I just like to play with fire and it's pretty hot and primal to go to those places.

But out of sex/fantasy that's obviously NOT the case. It's not what I want. It's just a game, which she agreed with and was totally into it.

BUT yeah. It's a bit mind f*ckury . It builds a bit more than casual and deeper feelings.

So don't know if I should ethically be taking them to these places ?

I swear I'm a bit BPD sometimes with it.

Primal play? are you into ****?

To add on a bit deeper on what I was saying previously. I will say this. I keep a journal of dates that I go on, due to this situation
I have kept Field reports/Journals in the past. However after this situation, I want to ride my dates down. I don't go on a lot of dates these days although last year I did go through a hotboy summer phase where I went on tons of dates last June. When I was younger it was easier to keep track but the older you go, most first dates don't lead anywhere, even if you smash meaning like long term situationship or relationships etc.

IMO I rather would have 3 solid hot quality plates than bang a bunch of chicks. To risque and to many STDs out there. I also would make sure if I was you to have time to recharge. It takes a lot of energy to date mutlipile women and still deal with your day to day commitments i.e. work, working out, hobbies etc

Dating is meant to be fun and not work. IMO in regards to fantasy in the bedroom have conversations with them, the best thing to do is if you have multiple women don't lie keep it a 100, you save yourself drama and heartache that way. Yes you may lose out on some solid or quality girls. However it's best to be honest than lie

 

[CaptFinnBad]

Primal play? are you into ****?

To add on a bit deeper on what I was saying previously. I will say this. I keep a journal of dates that I go on, due to this situation
I have kept Field reports/Journals in the past. However after this situation, I want to ride my dates down. I don't go on a lot of dates these days although last year I did go through a hotboy summer phase where I went on tons of dates last June. When I was younger it was easier to keep track but the older you go, most first dates don't lead anywhere, even if you smash meaning like long term situationship or relationships etc.

IMO I rather would have 3 solid hot quality plates than bang a bunch of chicks. To risque and to many STDs out there. I also would make sure if I was you to have time to recharge. It takes a lot of energy to date mutlipile women and still deal with your day to day commitments i.e. work, working out, hobbies etc

Dating is meant to be fun and not work. IMO in regards to fantasy in the bedroom have conversations with them, the best thing to do is if you have multiple women don't lie keep it a 100, you save yourself drama and heartache that way. Yes you may lose out on some solid or quality girls. However it's best to be honest than lie

Primal as in dominated, loss of control. Getting pregnant is also quite a primal urge in most women. As long as your safe, using protection, don't really see the harm using that talk during sex.

Lol I deleted most my post. Felt like I was over sharing.

Loads of interesting things. I'm definitely going to start keeping notes. Already starting to get a few things mixed up.

That's so funny you mentioned "hotboy" summer.

Literally that's my mission right now. I keep using the same phrase, now I'm out of long term I want to just go a bit wild over the summer before settling down again.


Another thing I'm considering is using online to build a bit of a connection with women long distance.

As in basing it on locations I'd like to go on mini trips and weekends away. I'm talking to two women now based on their location, two places I'd really like to go fishing this summer.
.


It does seem like a lot of work , now your describing the actual reality of it. I suppose it's about finding the right balance.

 

[Solomon]

Primal as in dominated, loss of control. Getting pregnant is also quite a primal urge in most women. As long as your safe, using protection, don't really see the harm using that talk during sex.

Lol I deleted most my post. Felt like I was over sharing.

Loads of interesting things. I'm definitely going to start keeping notes. Already starting to get a few things mixed up.

That's so funny you mentioned "hotboy" summer.

Literally that's my mission right now. I keep using the same phrase, now I'm out of long term I want to just go a bit wild over the summer before settling down again.


Another thing I'm considering is using online to build a bit of a connection with women long distance.

As in basing it on locations I'd like to go on mini trips and weekends away. I'm talking to two women now based on their location, two places I'd really like to go fishing this summer.
.


It does seem like a lot of work , now your describing the actual reality of it. I suppose it's about finding the right balance.

Correct, I prefer 2 women that are local within 30 minutes or less, the third can be 1 hour less. I like variety although currently I only have 2 plates. One who lives 20 minutes away, the other 2 hours. I know long distance is frowned upon but I have had women drive as far 4 hours to see me. Granted those situations don't last long, but In my experience, the further the women live the more cooperative/submissive etc they tend to be (they usually are girls that live in the country, and value traditional style relationship i.e. cook for a man, and give him the ass whenever he wants)

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Nah I'm not even great looking to be honest. Average at best. I think I'm going to start keeping * by their names so I don't get mixed up with clients.

Curious as to how you get matches if you are not really GL. Bio? Spotify? IG?
Do you ever ask the girls why they swiped right on you? I did and they just told me it was looks.