JaegerPilot217
Master Don Juan
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- Sep 25, 2013
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I made a note of the bus stop approach, lol
Thanks for the tips. I'll try them out next time and let you know how they went.Mr Wright said:Guys don't realise that cold approach is hard. I think it's really hard but I've had success with it. You have to be aware that you're asking a complete stranger to be into you before she's even opened her mouth when you say something like that. I don't care how strong you think your frame is or how alpha you think you are, you're instantly going to be isolating yourself from 99% of women and the 1% who agree are nuts. You need to establish some sort of comfort, you're just some guy off the street/shop or whatever, why should she meet you? Are you fun? Interesting? You might be a murderer for all she knows. Strangers have bad reputations. Just think about how annoying it is when charity people ask you for money on the street, there's hundreds of them but they don't go "give me your money" because they know that will never work. They get you in a bit of confab first, butter you up then ask for something. I was on a date yesterday with someone I met ages ago from a day approach but the impression I made on her was so strong she was still curious about me. I remember talking to her and we spoke for about 2-3 minutes, I teased her a little
Better approach:
You: Hi, I literally just saw you and thought you looked cute/nice, so I had to come over and say hi. [You've given her a compliment, she knows why you're there but you've left the onus on her to continue to the conversation]
Her: Awww thanks. [I rarely get instant boyfriend objections from this opener because you've said something nice and that's it so far]
You: What I noticed about you was that your scarf reminds me of what an airhostess would wear in the 60's. [You given her a compliment about her fashion sense but you'e also added something a little humourous because you should have a cheeky smirk on your face when you say something like that]
Her: Haha really why'd you think that?
You: I can just imagine you tottering down the aisles offering tea to business men, definitely on British Airways too, you look classy. [Ignored her question and got deeper into the role, I would say something like that because I only approach girls who are well dressed]
Her: Blah blah [it doesn't really matter what she says at this point because you've established two things. One you're a fun guy and two that you do have interest in her]
You: So what brings you out today? [Standard conversational topic, listen to what she says because she will give you something to go off of, she might be out shopping for a gift for her boyfriend or she might be on her lunch break]
Her: I'm on my lunch break, I should probably go. [for the sake of an example, this is how you keep a girl sticking around a little longer when she feels like she needs to leave, which she will do because it's not something she's used to. It's like LMR, it's something that will happen a lot of the time and you can't be phased by it]
You: One last thing quickly before you go...(then new conversational thread) [If she likes you, she'll stick around and be late. Ask her for her number so you can invite her out sometime and enjoy]
Don't forget to tease and when you get her hooked, she if she'll work to get your attention back.
I would say whilst you're getting good, don't discriminate too much, you're building up a skill. Do you want the skill or woman? If she happens to be 50+, see what you can get away with, try something you've been apprehensive about doing. If you want to date women in the 30-45 age range, go for it, it's probably worth the "risk" of getting someone a little older.geekymicky said:Thanks for the tips. I'll try them out next time and let you know how they went.
One other thing - when I am out sarging, it is easy to focus on the young women (18-30) and choose to approach them. But I think it would be more likely to be successful to approach those aged 30-45. But women that age don't look all that different from those aged 50+ who are (in my opinion) not attractive at all.
Given that you have to be fast in game when you are stopping women who are walking along towards you, should I just take the risk of stopping an older woman (50+) by mistake, or is it OK for me to "play safe" and stick with the 18-30 year olds?
It just seems wrong to chat to an older woman who reminds me more of my mother than as a woman I would want to sleep with.
Maybe I need to "man up" and chat to them as well.
ThanksEspi said:Kudos to you geekymicky! You APPROACHED 10 WOMEN--quite an accomplishment. That's GOOD that these women are rejecting you--just keep doing what you're doing. Nowhere else I recommend you go from here. Just keep approaching. There are NO tricks or secret formulas or advanced esoteric concepts that you have to master. You just gotta be willing to be CONSISTENT. With consistency comes improvement; improvement leads to confidence; confidence leads to dates.
I have not approached any women in the mall this year. I am focusing on outdoors day-game at the moment. Two years ago I got questioned by the police for trying day game in a mall, but that was only because I failed to move on when a security guard asked me to stop.JaegerPilot217 said:How have any of you approached women in the mall?
Although David Wygant says I have been improving in terms of approaching and conversation, the only negative thing is that this has only been Day game at the Dog Parkgeekymicky said:I have not approached any women in the mall this year. I am focusing on outdoors day-game at the moment. Two years ago I got questioned by the police for trying day game in a mall, but that was only because I failed to move on when a security guard asked me to stop.
Today I was on the streets of Twickenham in South West London (famous for Rugby football in the UK). I approached 10 women, stopping them as they were walking along, and the results were bad.
My line was the same each time:
"Hi. I don't have long as I have to meet a friend, but I saw you and thought I had to chat to you as you are very attractive, and I wanted to say Hi"
Most of them smiled and said thanks when I said this, but a second later simply turned around and walked away without a further word. With one or two I managed to get to my next line: "Where are you going today" before drying up, and they walked off.
I got none of the sense of them expecting me to talk some more with any of them. Indeed I got the impression from several that they regarded me as a pest who should be reported to the police for harrassing them. Indeed were it not for the lessons on this website and others I would be inclined to think the same.
Being prosecuted for a public order offence is a concern to me, as I don't know what the law says about going up to multiple women trying to chat them up.
However I think my approach anxiety is less. Although am I achieving this by simply hardening myself to the negative feedback I am getting from them, rather than ignoring it?
I am hoping that the reason I am getting all these rejections is that women are picking up the anxiety in my voice and body language, and this is making them fearful that the reason I have the anxiety is that I might intend them harm. If I can remove the anxiety and come to believe that it is right for me to approach them, then hopefully women will pick up this confidence and start to talk to me without being concerned.
When you approach a woman on the street you want her to feel like you've picked her out of a crowd rather than picked on her if you understand the subtle difference. As I said in my previous post, you want to keep your first few words pretty subtle and non-threatening. I'll write a quick post about the fundamentals of day game.geekymicky said:Now my question to you guys is: Is my new approach a good approach? Is it sufficiently alpha such that the numbers I get will be worth something? My concern is that by saying I am street dating it is suggesting that I am going after multiple women, and that that suggests I can't easily get a girl using "ordinary" methods.
Thanks!
Thanks for your comprehensive feedback Mr Wright, not just in this post, but also your earlier post.Mr Wright said:When you approach a woman on the street you want her to feel like you've picked her out of a crowd rather than picked on her if you understand the subtle difference. As I said in my previous post, you want to keep your first few words pretty subtle and non-threatening. I'll write a quick post about the fundamentals of day game.
1. Vibe
You want to come across in the right way, your words matter much less than the vibe you have. Your words don't need to be "alpha", you're concentrating on the wrong thing. Your body language and your intent has to come off in the right way otherwise you're going to keep getting those boyfriend objections. The biggest myth that the community has sold is that you need to be "alpha" to get the girl. I know guys who look gay as anything pulling chicks, there is more to it than that. Drop that mindset and concentrate on the vibe you need to have. The vibe is 'I like the look of you and I want to see if we'd get on', it's so simple but hard to actually achieve because of the outcome dependency that guys have. Girls do want laid back cool guys approaching them when they're going about their daily lives but only if they do it well.
2. Pattern
Stick with an opening line for 3 months, you need to give it time to become natural. Changing it up every time means you're starting from scratch every time and still getting the same results...nothing.
"Hi, I just wanted to come and talk to you because I thought you looked really nice." Works just fine for me, you don't want to say "really attractive" or "really hot" because once again it forces the girl to make an instant decision on whether or not she wants to continue talking to her. Saying she looks really hot is something I'd use at night if you're looking for a ONS, it's mass filtering and a drunk girl is much more likely to be perceptive to that kind of approach.
3. Escalate
Steer the direct towards either you two bouncing to a coffee shop or lead for the set up for a date in the future. Getting numbers from daygame actually isn't that hard but depending on the amount of rapport you build will determine the level of flaking. You can have a couple of things to say at key points to get the interaction moving forward. Subtle qualification like "are you the adventurous type?" then if she says yes, you can engineer that into taking her to a coffee shop.
4. Close
Always ask for the number because the more you do this, the types of rejections you get will differ from instant boyfriend objections to ones that convey that they don't quite know you well enough yet. It can be a great indicator of where you are.
Remember Rome wasn't built in a day so keep to a simple low invasive opener which will give you the chance to get into interactions with women. Going in too hard will lead to too many instant blowouts and it will begin to wear thin because of the lack of results.
- "You look really nice" (it's a compliment but it's soft)
- Observation about her (about clothing or vibe, not looks)
- Soft tease and compliment (tell her she looks like the naughty kid a school and you like it)
- Assumption about her (make a random assumption, could be job related, nationality or the sort of person she is)
- What brings you out today? (conversational statement, it grounds you as a normal person)
Just a quick little outline of what you want to be doing. Drop the dating paradigm thing, keep it fun.
You've just walked up to a woman on the street and said she looks nice, she's going to suspect you're interested in her plus you have the right vibe. As soon as you say something like that to a girl, whilst holding strong eye contact, she knows the deal. In fact let me take you back to my first ever number close on the street. I was walking and this girl caught my eye, she was sitting down with headphones in. I diverted my course towards her and she started taking them out. She knew the deal straight away and I didn't need to verbalise it, I could give her a soft compliment without going too hard.geekymicky said:However it raises in me a concern. If I do what you suggest, saying: "Hi, I literally just saw you and thought you looked cute/nice", how can you be sure that she will take this as romantic interest? Isn't there a risk she will hear this as an interest only in friendship, even fatherly friendship (I am 43 years old)?
If this happens then I could spend 15 minutes chatting to her, and when I try to escalate things to a sexual level (which is of course necessary if I want to get laid) then she realises her mistake and rejects me if this is not what she wants.
Surely it is better to let girls know that I am interested in them romantically early on in the interaction so that they can bail out early on and save wasting their time and mine, and move on to the next girl?
Or do you think that if I use your approach of "Hi, I literally just saw you and thought you looked cute/nice" that she will most of the time see a romantic interest in any case (so she will not waste the 15 minutes if she is unavailable).
Does your method work when stopping women who are walking down the street, which is what I am doing at the moment?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfKUbtV0rj4geekymicky said:Tell me, what do you think is the best book or e-book, or websites, on day game? One that would be OK for an older guy like me in the UK?
I have only read one books on game ("The Natural art of seduction" by Richard La Ruina), but this focused more on night game (pubs bars) than day game.
Today I went to Reading, Berks, a large town in the UK.Mr Wright said:
geekymicky said:I am getting the slight impression that this type of day gaming works better on foreign girls who don't know British culture and are therefore more accepting of what British guys will try to do when chatting them up. I suspect it may be the case that British girls don't like being approached on the streets, and consider any man to do so to be of low value. But this is just a hunch, and I am going to carry on this type of day gaming.