One approach a day challenge: YOU choose how I do it!

[Shivastorm_88]

It's because you're approaching aimlessly, going in without an action plan.

- Notice something about her and compliment her on it(preferably a clothing choice)
Well I find that if I don't teach myself to approach aimlessly, I will seriously limit my opportunities. Situation approaches are very easy, but the occasion isn't always there

- Make assumptions, don't ask questions(you look like you're from out of town)

- Use light teasing and breaks in rapport(saying things like 'shut up' once you get her talking)
Those two are good points. To keep in mind

3 simple daygame things that you can use and work on.

So I did a similar approach as yesterday today, but the results were very bad. After my initial opening line, she was very cold, and it kind of caught me off guard and had yet another moment of hesitation. I need to be much more fluid when I open, in what I say, etc.

On a side note, at least it's becoming less and less nerve wrecking for me to open up a girl I find pretty. The next step is to be able to have a fluid conversation and avoid all forms of awkwardness. Easier said than done, but one step at a time!

 

[Shivastorm_88]

I can tell I still have hesitation when it comes to approaching. Not as much as before, but it's still there.

Yesterday night I was at a hookah lounge with some friends, and there was this cute girl checking me out. She was sitting with a friend, so she wasn't alone. As I was leaving, she was flat out looking at me. And yet, I never did anything about it. For some reason, the fact that she wasn't alone held me back. Yet, it would have been a perfect moment to use a line similar to Espi's.

 

[TheGambino]

Approach her say 'You look beautifull today, but you will look even better with me' 'whats your number?' lol or 'hows your day' and go on.. from there in the end shoot 'Im in a hurry, give me your number we could go for a drink sometime' or 'on an adventure sometime'

tell me what happens !!

 

[TheGambino]

It's because you're approaching aimlessly, going in without an action plan.

- Notice something about her and compliment her on it(preferably a clothing choice)
- Make assumptions, don't ask questions(you look like you're from out of town)
- Use light teasing and breaks in rapport(saying things like 'shut up' once you get her talking)

3 simple daygame things that you can use and work on.

yap perfect for day game.

for example:

Hey, nice outfit !

(if you wanna negg straight out: ye 'it reminds me of my grandma's' with a playful smile (this will be effective on a good looking stylish girl even more) most girls will laugh and slap you immediatley for fun.
then you go like looks like your from *inserttown

you like to go out there?

she could say yes sure I go to duduuduud you replie: so your a party chick.
hmm means your trouble, we go out, get drunk and they throw us out of the club, can't do that Im a good boy.

she will dudududduduud

you replie haha ok you convinced me give me you rnumber I g2g hurry we could go for a drink sometime dududududd bet she will show up :yes:

 

[JaegerPilot217]

who here does approaches in the mall or grocery store? what other venues besides bars or clubs?

 

[Don-Kong]

Funny post.

Exposure and practice.

What becomes habit becomes easy!

 

[jurry]

Espi, what do you say to a girl at a grocery store? When I see girls like that I'm just so overwhelmed by the sexiness and how bad i want to rail them, and i guess i dont know how to pretend like thats not why I'm talking to them. Makes me feel like a **** human being because i would never talk to anyone in that situation so it seems so forced and obvious.. Theres that russell crowe line in a beautiful mind like "really im just wondering how long we have to keep talking before we can have sex" and thats always what i think of haha

 

[jurry]

Hahaha that is unbelievable you are some kind of fearless my man.. Time for me to grow a pair.

 

[Shivastorm_88]

OK, well I decided I need to change my strategy a bit. Right now, I'm still very awkward when I approach, and I put way too much emphasis on approaching one hot girl, and talking to her in the perfect way, and getting her number, and yadi yada. I need to take things slow, and learn the basics; the first step is to be able to open any girl, without being scared ****less. No attempt to number grab for now, because as soon as I think about that, I over think things

And furthermore, I found a way to keep myself motivated. My ex is a social butterfly, everyone (and I mean everyone) loves her. She can warm up to someone in minutes. I can't. I'm the opposite, I'm quite the introvert. Hence, that was one of my goals when I took my decision to approach women. To be able to warm up to people easily, to grab attention easily, etc.

Every time I open up a cute girl, I feel like I take one step forward towards my goal. Every time I don't, I feel like I'm taking a step backwards. Being a competitive guy, I decided to think like this:

Every time I chicken out from approaching a girl, or find a lame excuse, my ex wins the breakup. I do NOT want her to win. Hence, I need to keep track of my approaches VS my chickening out (or finding excuses, or whatever).

Right now, I will stop putting focus on the result, and rather think in terms of successful openings (as in, not chickening out).


Without further ado, I went for a walk today. However, it's very cloudy (on the verge of raining) and rather cold, so there are not many girls. I saw three that I deemed cute. I chickened out on the first one. The other two, I opened. My opener sucks right now, but I don't care, as I want to be able to hold a small conversation, fluidly, without appearing awkward. I will, very shortly, modify my opener to make me step away even further from my comfort zone.

Right now, my opener is along those lines: I'm doing a sort of rat race, and I need to ask for five phone numbers, but here's the twist: I need to be rejected those five times. So I will simply ask you for your number, and you can give me any excuse you want not to give me my number, and that's all there is.

And from there I proceed to have a brief conversation, after the rejection. I'll be very comfortable with this very fast, and I'll change it up a bit, either by not mentioning the rejection part, or if the conversation is smooth, say "I changed my mind, I would like your phone number".

So far, 2-1 (as in, I opened twice, chickened out once)

 

[jurry]

I thought you said you werent trying to number grab? But then you are asking for the number and telling them to say no? It seems very preprogrammed and unnatural to me, why not just go up say hello and strike a conversation if you are just trying to work on being comfortable? Dont worry about the number at all and just talk and see what happens..

 

[CostaDeSol]

are you still accepting challenges?

how about you walk right next to a HB and hand her a note that says "do you want to go on a date with me? if you do, smile. if you don't, do a backflip"

 

[j0504s]

Ill make it easy for you, walk over to a bus stop if you see a cute girl go sit next to her. Simply ask her if she has been waiting a while. Do little small talk are these busses usually on time? etc etc. then say Ok, to be honest I have a car I don't take the bus I just thought you were cute and I wanted to speak to you. this is very simple yet very powerful b/c A. She takes the bus you drive B. It shows you have balls. C. I can guarantee that this has never happened to her before b/c why would you ever sit at a bus stop during the day if you drive. after you say it she will laugh, u should continue the convo then get her number or thread the needle by getting her phone and saying Lets take a pic so you can remember the first guy you met who actually has balls get it take the pic. Then put ur number in her phone with a Nick Name. Then tell her to text you her nick name.

I pretty much gave you as easy as it comes, with how to close it. This very hard to mess up.

Enjoy

 

[Shivastorm_88]

Well thanks for the posts guys. I was absent for a little while, because of this;

I brought back a girl home, slept with her, but after that I felt ****ing sick to my stomach. It brought way too much pain from my (still recent) break-up. I simply don't think I was ready, nor do I still think myself ready.

I really loved this girl, and now I have to re-learn how to love myself. I can't seek exterior validation right away, it's not healthy.

You guys all posted solid advice, but I think I will use Espi's until it becomes force of habit. It's very easy for me because I bike everywhere, so I can easily stop when I see a girl, and open up with his opener. I think I'll simply do this for a while, just to get comfortable with this concept, but I'm not really interested in dating. Right now I'm more interested in rekindling my love for sports (getting back from an injury) and hanging out with friends.

Sports will rebuild my body (I have lost about 15lbs of muscle since my surgery, I am now skinny), and thus rebuild my confidence.
Working on Espi's approach until it becomes natural will also help with my confidence.
Spending time with friends, and making new friends, will help me become more extrovert so I can have an easier time connecting with strangers.

To be honest, my end goal is not to bang girls left and right. That's quite easy actually, and I am not attracted by that. My end goal is to be able to have choice in a woman for a LTR. I basically want to use Anti-Dump's machine, and try to find a girl that suits my needs, instead of settling for the first one that is attracted to me, and making things work from there.

 

[Don-Kong]

Shiva, loving ya work!

1. You have to get a convo going with some chick. THEN, you have to role play like you have multiple personalities.

2. No convo whatsoever, just miming and using body language. Pick her up, twirl her, use gestures, use hands.

3. You are from the future, you have to convince her of this and she MUST believe you. You then crack on with 'can you help me' banter etc etc

4. You've just got your first movie role in a big film and you are really excited!! And want to share a few lines of the film, with the bird.

5. Your lost, french, german and vaguely speak english. You are trying to find your friends but they have gone somewhere, can chill with her till they come back.

its endless yo! I could do this all day!

 

[Shivastorm_88]

Shiva, loving ya work!

1. You have to get a convo going with some chick. THEN, you have to role play like you have multiple personalities.

2. No convo whatsoever, just miming and using body language. Pick her up, twirl her, use gestures, use hands.

3. You are from the future, you have to convince her of this and she MUST believe you. You then crack on with 'can you help me' banter etc etc

4. You've just got your first movie role in a big film and you are really excited!! And want to share a few lines of the film, with the bird.

5. Your lost, french, german and vaguely speak english. You are trying to find your friends but they have gone somewhere, can chill with her till they come back.

its endless yo! I could do this all day!

Sorry, bro, not right now. I need to work on certain things for my own emotional good. I will keep things very simple and use Espi's opener just to get used to the idea of asking for numbers, until it becomes second nature, but yeah, it won't really be my focus anymore.

I need to take care of some **** first, unfortunately that break-up really hit me hard

 

[Don-Kong]

Sorry to hear that bro! You'll be on the up soon. Mad love yo!

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Ill make it easy for you, walk over to a bus stop if you see a cute girl go sit next to her. Simply ask her if she has been waiting a while. Do little small talk are these busses usually on time? etc etc. then say Ok, to be honest I have a car I don't take the bus I just thought you were cute and I wanted to speak to you. this is very simple yet very powerful b/c A. She takes the bus you drive B. It shows you have balls. C. I can guarantee that this has never happened to her before b/c why would you ever sit at a bus stop during the day if you drive. after you say it she will laugh, u should continue the convo then get her number or thread the needle by getting her phone and saying Lets take a pic so you can remember the first guy you met who actually has balls get it take the pic. Then put ur number in her phone with a Nick Name. Then tell her to text you her nick name.

I pretty much gave you as easy as it comes, with how to close it. This very hard to mess up.

Enjoy

very inspiring!

 

[geekymicky]

"I'm on my way to meet with a client but I noticed that you are absolutely gorgeous. I'd like you to join me next week for a drink or two (or lunch or coffee). Will you meet me?"

I like this approach, but I am a beginner (I have done some solo direct day game 2 years ago, and got 2 numbers over 10 hours or so.)
Should I use this approach, or is it more of an "advanced" technique.
I don't want to use it if I am not good enough - don't want to harm my confidence if I fail with all of the women I approach.

Also I am in a UK large provincial town. Will it work there?

I brought back a girl home, slept with her

Excellent. Was this a girl you had met through one of your approaches? What did you say and how did she respond?
Well done!

 

[geekymicky]

OK so I went out to try Espi's line today:

"I'm on my way to meet with a client but I noticed that you are absolutely gorgeous. I'd like you to join me next week for a drink or two (or lunch or coffee). Will you meet me?"

And I have to say I think it worked better than the more indirect methods I have used in the past.

Shivastorm_88 I hope you don't mind me slightly hijacking your thread for this, but it follows directly from Epsi's comments, so I think it is relevant.

I went into the centre of Winchester, in the UK, and approached 10 women, each of whom were walking along the street towards me.
I got the following 10 rejections:

1. "Sorry I've got a boyfriend"
2. "No thanks - I'm busy on a parking timer"
3. "But I'm only 16 years old". I was surprised by this, as she looked older. The trouble is with this method you only have a few seconds to assess the suitability of a target, so you can't tell whether they are old, young, or have rings on their fingers when you first approach.
4. She started to laugh heartily, and then said no thanks.
5. "I'm busy thanks"
6. "I'm ill at the moment. I've just seen my doctor, and I need to sit down"
7. "I'm flattered. But I'm already seeing someone"
8. "No thanks". With this one I said "I want your number", and she scowled when I said this. I had just forgotton to say I wanted to meet her again.
9. "I have got to meet someone. And I am married"
10. "Ah how sweet. But no I have a husband"

But the key thing is that they all looked genuinely pleased - their faces all lit up when I said they were gorgeous. It was only when I moved on to say I wanted them to meet me for a drink that they seemed to get nervous and bailed out.

Where do you think I should go from here?

Thanks

 

[Mr Wright]

OK so I went out to try Espi's line today:

"I'm on my way to meet with a client but I noticed that you are absolutely gorgeous. I'd like you to join me next week for a drink or two (or lunch or coffee). Will you meet me?"

And I have to say I think it worked better than the more indirect methods I have used in the past.

Shivastorm_88 I hope you don't mind me slightly hijacking your thread for this, but it follows directly from Epsi's comments, so I think it is relevant.

I went into the centre of Winchester, in the UK, and approached 10 women, each of whom were walking along the street towards me.
I got the following 10 rejections:

1. "Sorry I've got a boyfriend"
2. "No thanks - I'm busy on a parking timer"
3. "But I'm only 16 years old". I was surprised by this, as she looked older. The trouble is with this method you only have a few seconds to assess the suitability of a target, so you can't tell whether they are old, young, or have rings on their fingers when you first approach.
4. She started to laugh heartily, and then said no thanks.
5. "I'm busy thanks"
6. "I'm ill at the moment. I've just seen my doctor, and I need to sit down"
7. "I'm flattered. But I'm already seeing someone"
8. "No thanks". With this one I said "I want your number", and she scowled when I said this. I had just forgotton to say I wanted to meet her again.
9. "I have got to meet someone. And I am married"
10. "Ah how sweet. But no I have a husband"

But the key thing is that they all looked genuinely pleased - their faces all lit up when I said they were gorgeous. It was only when I moved on to say I wanted them to meet me for a drink that they seemed to get nervous and bailed out.

Where do you think I should go from here?

Thanks

Guys don't realise that cold approach is hard. I think it's really hard but I've had success with it. You have to be aware that you're asking a complete stranger to be into you before she's even opened her mouth when you say something like that. I don't care how strong you think your frame is or how alpha you think you are, you're instantly going to be isolating yourself from 99% of women and the 1% who agree are nuts. You need to establish some sort of comfort, you're just some guy off the street/shop or whatever, why should she meet you? Are you fun? Interesting? You might be a murderer for all she knows. Strangers have bad reputations. Just think about how annoying it is when charity people ask you for money on the street, there's hundreds of them but they don't go "give me your money" because they know that will never work. They get you in a bit of confab first, butter you up then ask for something. I was on a date yesterday with someone I met ages ago from a day approach but the impression I made on her was so strong she was still curious about me. I remember talking to her and we spoke for about 2-3 minutes, I teased her a little


Better approach:

You: Hi, I literally just saw you and thought you looked cute/nice, so I had to come over and say hi. [You've given her a compliment, she knows why you're there but you've left the onus on her to continue to the conversation]

Her: Awww thanks. [I rarely get instant boyfriend objections from this opener because you've said something nice and that's it so far]

You: What I noticed about you was that your scarf reminds me of what an airhostess would wear in the 60's. [You given her a compliment about her fashion sense but you'e also added something a little humourous because you should have a cheeky smirk on your face when you say something like that]

Her: Haha really why'd you think that?

You: I can just imagine you tottering down the aisles offering tea to business men, definitely on British Airways too, you look classy. [Ignored her question and got deeper into the role, I would say something like that because I only approach girls who are well dressed]

Her: Blah blah [it doesn't really matter what she says at this point because you've established two things. One you're a fun guy and two that you do have interest in her]

You: So what brings you out today? [Standard conversational topic, listen to what she says because she will give you something to go off of, she might be out shopping for a gift for her boyfriend or she might be on her lunch break]

Her: I'm on my lunch break, I should probably go. [for the sake of an example, this is how you keep a girl sticking around a little longer when she feels like she needs to leave, which she will do because it's not something she's used to. It's like LMR, it's something that will happen a lot of the time and you can't be phased by it]

You: One last thing quickly before you go...(then new conversational thread) [If she likes you, she'll stick around and be late. Ask her for her number so you can invite her out sometime and enjoy]


Don't forget to tease and when you get her hooked, she if she'll work to get your attention back.