Once they've been fat they will return

[backbreaker]

backbreaker,

I believe there are lots of women who may like you or even love you and yet still cheat.

Some have a propensity to do it while others do not. In short, it is all about the odds man. Step away from the black and white viewpoint. There is a context to most everything.

i see yyour point,

you are talking about odds to someone who makes a living gambling on horses.

Losers, people who go to the track, and eventually kill their bankroll "play odds".. The "odds" of a first time starter winning a maiden race aren't very good, the "odds" a horse winning first time on the turf aren't very good, the "odds" of a certain trainer who might be having a bad meet aren't very good.

But, they do happen, in a week's worth of racing, they happen alot actually.

You learn, to take every race and treat it as it's own individual entity. Yes, certain things are probably more likely to happen than other things, but to actually make money you have to judge the race on this races merits and it's merits alone.


what i am saying is, what a study of 100 women might or might not do, has no indication of what this particular woman in this particular circumstance, with her individual personality is going to do.


Some of my biggest scores have come from races that had i played the odds, i would have tossed the horse. last year i loved a horse from a trainer that hadn't won a race all year, paid 64 dollars for a 2 dollar winner. I had a very good reason to believe this horse was pointed to this particular race, and he won, and actually won quite easily. he wasn't that bad a horse people were playing the trainers percentage. a female jockey had not won a grade 1 race in almos 5 years in north america, and i cashed the santa anita handicap earlier this year with game on dude with Chantel sutherland as the jockey, paid 32 dollars for a 2 dollar ticket.

I call that "lazy handicapping", meaning you going to the track, and you look for certain things so that you can quickly dmisss certain horses so that you "don't get burned".

that's the real question at hand. why are you so scared to get burned? you are going to get hurt if you play the game, any game. rather it be horse racing or dating women or starting a business, don't be so scared to lose, that you can't possibly win. So the **** what if she might gain 80 pounds from now (Which i assure you if you date her for a year before you commit to anytyhing you will know good and damn well what she will and won't do). The odds of someone actually retirining with their 401k actually doing what they set out for it to do when they started it, are 5%.

someone like Rollo, who i respect the hell out of on here BTW, will say that the odds of her getting fat and becoming a fat slob, are higher so you s hould avoid her, when he himself is married and has been for over a decade, and the odds of a marriage not working out are about 1 in 2 give or take, if he were playing the odds, he would not get married.

he will come back and say "well i properly screened my woman"

and i will say "exactly"

that's all i am saying, that's all I and solomon and squirrels are saying

if you properly screen your woman on her own merits, this is a non issue.
my own wife, when i first met her, i found her with an empty baggie of coke in my bathroom, it feel out of her purse. to much the chigrain of this very forum, i listened to her, and she told me she doesn't do it seriously and that it wasn't a problem, and i told her that if i caught her doing it again she had to go because of my history. guess what, her doing drugs today is the least of my concerns. but had i followed the 'rules": i would have missed out on the most wonderful woman i have ever met in my life.


Don't be so afraid to to lose, that you don't play the game at all. yes, there are certain things i look for because i know my life and i know what makes me tick, but i don't have so many rules that i just toss everyone becuase i am "playing the odds"

 

[Larry Walker]

I really want to know why the OP is worried about what she could be like in the future?

He admits she is hot right now and he is on a date and he is procrastinating about what she could be like in 10 years so he dumps her? Sounds to me like he bombed the date and is using the fatness thing as an excuse.

I mean seriously who thinks about these things on a first date?

 

[Knight's Cross]

Larry,
You've asked a valid question. Alot of the posters above have hinted at it, but nobody has really come out and said it. We are products of our experiences. My experience is that a girl that lets herself get to being heavy, and yet can stay thin with great deal of exercise is going to go back to being large at some point. I've personally witnessed that. So my bias is set. Other posters have remarked similarly.
Why would I consider that after a first date? The first date is the interview. It's where you decide if you want to continue or not. For me just getting a piece of tail....it's not worth it if I know I'm not into the chick for at least a trial run. There's no sense in screwing with their heads. So I waive off. I've got standards, and this is one of them. Agree with me, agree to disagree with me, doesn't really matter, we each have choices to make, and this was my choice. I'm sure that every one of us has turn offs, a goofy laugh, bad posture, poor lifestyle choices, redheads, girls that are too tall, whatever, each of us has reasons we would disqualify a chick and there will always be another guy that will say that's a dumb reason. Does it really matter? No, they are your standards and you stick to them.
KC

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

he will come back and say "well i properly screened my woman"

Actually, no.

Hehehe,.. I wont lie, at 28 I had nowhere near the awareness I have now in terms of "screening" any woman beyond whether or not she looked good enough, and kept me sexually satisfied enough, for me to stay faithful to. The only thing I knew was that I couldn't stay faithful to any woman lacking in the physical. That may sound 'shallow', but I know me, I've seen me do it.

I got the right 'vibe' on other levels from her as far as wanting to commit, but it certainly wasn't due to some conscious screening process. Mrs. Tomassi still looks amazing in her mid-40s because for 15 years she's been married to me living with the understanding that that's what I require. I don't overtly say "stay in shape or I'm out", rather I communicate this requirement by keeping myself in shape and doing what I do for a living (i.e. working in the liquor industry alongside other beautiful women). I keep up my end of the bargain and she acknowledges her responsibility to as well.

It wasn't that I screened my would-be wife so well and determined she'd still be hot in her 40s. It was a 15 year process of living out my expectations.

 

[5string]

Actually, no.

Hehehe,.. I wont lie, at 28 I had nowhere near the awareness I have now in terms of "screening" any woman beyond whether or not she looked good enough, and kept me sexually satisfied enough, for me to stay faithful to. The only thing I knew was that I couldn't stay faithful to any woman lacking in the physical. That may sound 'shallow', but I know me, I've seen me do it.

I got the right 'vibe' on other levels from her as far as wanting to commit, but it certainly wasn't due to some conscious screening process. Mrs. Tomassi still looks amazing in her mid-40s because for 15 years she's been married to me living with the understanding that that's what I require. I don't overtly say "stay in shape or I'm out", rather I communicate this requirement by keeping myself in shape and doing what I do for a living (i.e. working in the liquor industry alongside other beautiful women). I keep up my end of the bargain and she acknowledges her responsibility to as well.

It wasn't that I screened my would-be wife so well and determined she'd still be hot in her 40s. It was a 15 year process of living out my expectations.

Please elaborate Rollo. I'm curious. I'm sure your wife looks "amazing", but what does she actually do to remain "amazing" since you "require" it? No disrepect here, just curious.

 

[goodfoot]

Larry,
You've asked a valid question. Alot of the posters above have hinted at it, but nobody has really come out and said it. We are products of our experiences. My experience is that a girl that lets herself get to being heavy, and yet can stay thin with great deal of exercise is going to go back to being large at some point. I've personally witnessed that. So my bias is set. Other posters have remarked similarly.
Why would I consider that after a first date? The first date is the interview. It's where you decide if you want to continue or not. For me just getting a piece of tail....it's not worth it if I know I'm not into the chick for at least a trial run. There's no sense in screwing with their heads. So I waive off. I've got standards, and this is one of them. Agree with me, agree to disagree with me, doesn't really matter, we each have choices to make, and this was my choice. I'm sure that every one of us has turn offs, a goofy laugh, bad posture, poor lifestyle choices, redheads, girls that are too tall, whatever, each of us has reasons we would disqualify a chick and there will always be another guy that will say that's a dumb reason. Does it really matter? No, they are your standards and you stick to them.
KC

I can understand that. I personally haven't seen that, but like I said before, I've seen a lot of skinny chicks in their teens and early 20's blow up cause they never had to regulate their eating or exercise and don't want to make any sacrifices to get back in shape.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

5STRING, first of all my wife has been a medical professional (X-Ray / CT tech) for close to 20 years which requires her to be moving around more than not. She's since gone to part time, but she's still very active. We're both very health conscious (as is our daughter) and we're both gym people - she and I are at the gym 5 days a week.

 

[5string]

5STRING, first of all my wife has been a medical professional (X-Ray / CT tech) for close to 20 years which requires her to be moving around more than not. She's since gone to part time, but she's still very active. We're both very health conscious (as is our daughter) and we're both gym people - she and I are at the gym 5 days a week.

5 days a week is quite a bit! I toned in down alot after I had bilateral inguinal surgery from lifting too much/too hard. Don't want to go through that again. More cardio these days for me.

 

[guru1000]

Men of value set standards. A man who sets no standards for himself understands his value is negotiable, and should negotiations regress downward, his value will follow.

KC, good for you. In whatever your MAN rules encompass, in whatever adverse criticism you receive, NEVER compromise your rules, and ALWAYS adhere to your standards. Men who settle for anything hold no value.

 

[Slickster]

Here's an interesting list.

Lots of skinny minnies in here but a few fatties too. .

I bolded the the "fat ones"

Not sure if I consider Beyonce, JLo or Drew Barrymore fat???

Actresses:

Blake Lively, 5'9", 123 lbs.
Calista Flockhart, 5'6", 97 lbs.
Cameron Diaz, 5'9", 120 lbs.
Cate Blanchett, 5'8", 120 lbs.
Catherine Zeta Jones, 5'8", 130 lbs.
Drew Barrymore, 5'4", 125 lbs.
Eva Longoria, 5'2", 104 lbs.
Gwyneth Paltrow, 5'9", 112 lbs.
Hillary Duff, 5'1", 105 lbs
Jennifer Aniston, 5'6", 110 lbs.
Jessica Alba, 5'7", 118 lbs.
Jessica Biel, 5'8", 110 lbs.
Julia Roberts, 5'10", 125 lbs.
Kate Beckinsdale, 5'8", 115 lbs.
Kate Hudson, 5'6", 115 lbs.
Katie Holmes, 5'9", 118 lbs.
Kelly Ripa, 5'3", 92 lbs.
Kim Kardashian 5'2", 120 lbs.
Kirsten Dunst, 5'4", 100 lbs.
Kristin Cavallari, 5'4", 108 lbs.
Lindsay Lohan, 5'5", 105 lbs.
Meghan Fox, 5'6", 114 lbs.
Miley Cyrus, 5'4", 104 lbs.
Nicole Kidman, 5'10", 120 lbs.
Nicole Richie, 5'1", 98 lbs
Pam Anderson, 5'7", 105 lbs.
Paris Hilton, 5'9", 110 lbs.
Penelope Cruz, 5'6", 109 lbs.
Reese Witherspoon, 5'6", 122 lbs.
Salma Hayek, 5'2", 115 lbs.
Sandra Bullock, 5'8", 110 lbs.
Scarlett Johansson, 5'4", 115 lbs.

Musicians:

Beyonce Knowles, 5'5", 130 lbs.
Britney Spears, 5'5", 105 lbs.
Carrie Underwood, 5'3", 110 lbs.
Christina Aguilera, 5'2", 100 lbs.
Faith Hill, 5'8", 120 lbs.
Fergie, 5'2", 105 lbs.
Gwen Stefani, 5'6", 115 lbs.
Jennifer Lopez, 5'6", 125 lbs.
Jessica Simpson, 5'2", 120 lbs.
Madonna, 5'4", 100 lbs.
Mariah Carey, 5'9", 140 lbs.
Shakira, 5'2", 105 lbs.
Taylor Swift, 5'10", 120 lbs.

 

[Nutz]

Don't feel bad about dropping her. There are plenty of beta 'chubby chasers' ready to put a ring on her finger.

Truth. For example:

http://heartiste.wordpress.com/2011/10/05/the-modren-man/

That poor, poor bastard.

 

[Knight's Cross]

No kidding Nutz,
I saw that Whale over at the Chateau and immediately thought of all this back and forth. Again my life experiences have directed me to avoid the woman that's bounced back and forth on weight. I'm pretty sure Jennifer Aniston has never been 200 lbs. There are plenty of women that start thin, and stay that way.
The couple I bought my house from have 2 kids, they still live in the area and we run into each other from time to time. The wife was thin before they had children, 7 years later she's still thin. Every time I see her at the grocery store the cart is full of,"healthy" food. Both the kids are active in sports, and I see both the parents at the gym. That's the formula.
KC

 

[Fuglydude]

i hate to toot my horn but i'm in unbelievable shape. i can swim laps for about 45 minutes straight without stopping. a few times a month, usually on a Tuesday as i have nothing else to do i will just get on my exercise bike and bike out my iphone and watch a movie on netflix i can go about 30 miles on my exercise bike on medium resistance which is about 1 hour and 45 minutes. I can probalby even go longer than that but i get hungry and bored and when the movie i'm watching stops i usually shut it down b ut not that much longer because when i get off i usually head straight to the shower and straight to bed lol. I go to the batting cage, can stay in there for about 45 minutes before i am completely exhausted. I can jog to the grocery store which is about 4 miles from here without stopping. nefver tried to go further than that, but i think i could squeeze out 1-2 more miles.

i'm 5'8 as well, yesterday when i weighed myself i was 173, don't know my exact BF but i have a visible 6 pack and i can comfortably wear a 31 jeans, and very little if any facial fat, very little fat anywhere but even when i was in high school and 135, i had a "baby face", i don';t have a baby face anymore it's pretty defined. i could put on more muscle but i like clothes too much and i like slim fitting clothes, I've found my "G spot" so to speak with my weight, between 170-175 with my muscle build, you can look at me and defiantly tell i workout, i have a pretty big chest and big arms, huge shoulders and the V taper with my traps, but i'm still pretty slim.

I toyed with the idea of trying to do amateur shows and stuff like that, but 1. it's not that serious to me 2. i can't, or let me rephrase, i won't make myself that disciplined with my diet and 3. i like clothes too much to get much bigger than i am.


so you can see the importance that i personally place on a woman being in shape. her "getting fat" is just the half of it. a woman who "doesn't see the point" of going to the gym, or resents the fact that i spend too much time in the gym, we are going to have issues sooner or later. So i have to screen for that. If I tell my wife I am going to the gym at 9pm at night, becuase i woke up late and didn't get to get to the gym earlier in the day and i don't come home until 11pm, she doesn't get suspicious (which does happen, me going to the gym that late at night). Run that **** by a woman who doesn't see the point in going to the gym and see how it goes lol.

so a woman who tells me she lost 80 pounds, at least i know, she is not against going to the gym. Now the only question is, is she still living the same lifestyle or has she reverted, which i can generally tell within a few days of talking to her.

i don't ever want to get tot he point again where i am huffing trying to climb 2-3 flights of stairs.

Props for being that motivated bro. I found my physique definitely regressed after I finished my stripping career. I think I'll always need to compete in something to motivate me to train hard... Ya I'm lazy. I'd never be that motivated unless I was making money off my body or competing in something. I don't really huff and puff after climbing up stairs, but I get like a massive heat wave! I get hot very easily probably because I'm heavy (muscle is very thermogenic) and I don't do any cardio. I should probably start, but for the bulking phase in a bodybuilding comp, there really isn't a point as long as your bodyfat is reasonable.

The clothing thing definitely sucks let me tell ya... all my older clothes are tight as phuck. The jeans still fit, but the glutes/quad room is highly compromised. My gut sticks out a lot more now as I'm always eating, whereas before I had a 6 pack. At my leanest, I'd have veins in my lower abs. Good thing I wear scrubs at work... I've graduated to an XL size, and gotta try and dig up the shorter ones because they expect anyone who wears XL to be like 6'2"... I have to get all my dress clothes customized. They just don't make suits w/ a 46" chest and a 32" waist. I find buying a 17" neck dress shirt and getting it custom tailored is a good bet.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

In regards to OP -- brother the standard american diet + lifestyle, especially given certain genetics, can lead to being overweight. Rather than next this girl so quickly for something so shallow, you might be surprised that this girl would probably be/treat you differently than a woman whose been attractive all of her life. You might even give her mad-props for her self-motivation and ability to enact self-change.

I used to be a bigger man and there are truths that many people regress in their physical health efforts. However; many people are also retarded and lazy. Someone who makes a deep-seeded and committed change ought not be underestimated. This chick may be be in better shape than you in 10+ years, because she likely has adopted new behaviors of exercise and proper eating. Not everyone who goes fat to thin reverses -- if they truly learned their lessons.

Most people who revert back likely lost their weight through a non-sustainable method or some quick fix that really never dealt with the way they perceived food or their eating/exercise habits. IE, atkins diet, 'juice' diets, etc.

 

[Kailex]

As someone who has lost 75 pounds in the last 2 years, I can tell you, I love telling people sometimes about the weight I've lost. You feel good about it and you are so proud of the work you put into it that you just "gush" about it.

Could I ever go back to 230? Nope. But I know myself and I know the positive that these changes have brought upon my life.

Now, if a woman wanted to stop dating me because I told her I've lost 75 pounds, so what?

I "get" why the OP is being criticized, but I admire the guy. He's sticking to his standards, and in all honesty, I think he's right. I've worked in an office environment. Who do you think brings all the cakes and pies and donuts to work? And then devour them? All the women who have been married for over a few years and have at least a kid or two. It's what they devolve back into eventually, not ALL of the times, but I've seen it too much.

I've been going out with someone who works in that environment and has seen my physical changes from obese to normal weight. She knows better than to take on those treats, because the moment she starts getting chubbier, I'm out of there.

Would I have done the same thing as the OP, most likely. There could be exceptions, but those are too far and few between.

Now, if the woman is out with you for dinner and she talks about how much weight she lost and then orders dessert for herself... she won't be getting a call back.

 

[ACE2012]

So basically, the OP is saying, once a fatty, always a fatty. LOL! =) Pretty harsh way of looking at it, I think. Yes, the woman was big before, but she went through great effort and stride to get to the point to whereas she is now healthy and looking great. The OP is basically punishing her for her past and not accepting who she is as a person now.

Everyone has their standards and dealbreakers however, and this was Knight's Cross dealbreaker. He can't be with women who used to be fat back in their past.

 

[zekko]

What about other risk factors for obesity?
Low income, night shift workers, medications, having children, age, smoking (people tend to gain weight when they quit), even race?

Diet? If you spy a small bag of Doritos in her purse do you dump right there on the spot, lol?

the moment she starts getting chubbier, I'm out of there.

I'm curious about where you draw the line here. A two pound gain? Five? Eight? 10?

 

[Kailex]

I'm curious about where you draw the line here. A two pound gain? Five? Eight? 10?

If the words "Lane Bryant" enter her daily vernacular or wardrobe set, I think I might have waited too long.

 

[5string]

WTF! It costs too much to feed a fat chick.

 

[Jaylan]

Stupid thread is stupid.

Metabolisms change through out a lifetime. I have seen big people get thin and thing people get huge.

As long as a girl stays sexy for me, I dont care what she USED to look like.

Funny OP, how a 41 year old grown man is that stuck on what she MIGHT look like in the future. Dude you arent getting any younger and as your metabolism slows down, I wanna see you keep in shape the way backbreaker or your date has.

Op, I truly hope you arent a sedentary individual casting the judgement you are.