Here's a good litmus test for those women who have been off the deep end and back.
If she explains her obesity by saying "I really let myself go - it was unhealthy and I knew it I needed to take control of my life again," then bonus points for her.
If she complains about staying in shape, blaming men, the media and other females for her having to attain some imaginary ideal, then you know she'll always have an excuse.
Rare is the woman who demonstrates even partial accountability. If you do
All you have t[o do is go to her kitchen adlook in her fridge. If she has truely converted to the lifestyle she will have the food of someone who is eating healthy. You walk in my kitchen right now and look in my fridge and you see bottled water, bananas, apples, some orange juice, some grape juice, some peanut butter and jelly, some eggs, some skim milk, a few other random things.
you walk in my mom's fridge and you see (she eats pretty much the same way i do, quite healthy) soy milk, apple juice, eggs, ham, water, alot of water, pineapple juice, yougert
walk into my wife's friends fridge, who keeps talking about how she is going to lose weight but doesn't, you find steaks, pops, beer, corn pops, bacon, leftover chicken and dumplings, you get the picture
it's really that simple.
A reformed cheater? Still a red flag
not necessarily. sex is not a moral issue. if a woman cheats it's because she doesn't like you, not because she's the devil.
A chick that is 5'4" and 130 lbs is overweight.
it depends on the woman if she's the type that has never seen a gym most likely yes. 5'4 130 is the hoover zone in reality, i've seen some 5'4 130 girls that were smokin, i've seen 5'4 130 girls that could stand to lose a few pounds
I've known some girls i would like to put boat loads of **** into at 5'4 130.
Let me ask you guys this: how many of you here who are IN SHAPE---really in shape, not just an average guy who isnt fat---would accept or even go for a chubby?
As stated, i spend about 15 or mor ehours a week in the gym, i could not take a girl that was not as healthy as me seriously long term, but where in this post does anyone say that she doesn't take her health seriously? hell she probably takes her health more seriously than the OP does.
It's really up to you to make the judgement call, but by no means should you allow accusations of superficiality influence your decision in that. As a Man, you are well within your rights to expect a maintained physique from a woman, considering the far greater sacrifices she expects from you. Would you leave her if she got fat? Damn right you would. Would she leave you if you went beta-listless-unemployed-alcoholic? Damn right she would.
what does one word of this have to do with the OP's point? she's not big. I'm going to assume she was attractive which is why the OP asked her out in the first place. she could have not told him about her previous weight issues and he wouldn't have been none the wiser.
this 3 page post is missing the practicality of actually watching/observing what her habits are. I do that with any girl i date or dated, within a week ic an tell if this is a woman who takes her health seriously. and if she isn't, i can still have sex and enjoy myself, not like she' s going to put on 50 pounds in 1 week or anything. B ut i know it won't ever work long term if she is not into health,l one because she will eventually put on weight and 2, she will harp on me about always going to the gym and she will keep food and crap around the house that will temp me all too often.
No one is necessarily shaming him for dumping her, we are pointing out that, as squirrels points out, his point of view really doesn't add up, because 1. the fact that she used to be 200 pounds doesn't stop you from going on 1 or 2 dates with a woman and having a good time and 2.i the were really serious about it he would have noted her actual habits.
If I like a girl one test i used to give all women is the "hey why don't you come to the gym with me, we can go get on the treadmill then go swimming aftewards".. a real natural fatty will find any excuse to not go with you. I have only dated 2 girls who actually did come with me, one being my now wife.
and to be frank, if you don't go to the gym, to the point where you can't ask her that, you really don't have a leg to stand on.
