On Becoming A Successful Man...

[Wyldfire]

Recently there has been a lot of debate here about whether or not overall self-improvement should be the goal of those who come here for help. There is a faction who insist it's all about being successful with women and there really is no other purpose. To these guys...you get a Wyld bonk on the head...you are WRONG!

Let's take a moment and look at nature. Men need to fulfill certain aspects of their life to feel like a complete, worthy man. I refer to these things as "The 3 P's". Men define their worth as a man based on their ability to Procreate, Provide and Protect. Likewise, women are instinctively attracted to men who emit confidence in their ability to meet her ingrained desire to have children, be taken care of and to feel safe. It is all interconnected.

Now let's think about confidence for just a minute. Have you EVER met a man who demonstrates the ability to Procreate, Provide and Protect well who was not also confident, self-assured? Probably not...and although I'm sure a few exist, it's something you seldom, if ever see.

If you want to not just go through live faking it then you NEED to work on improving yourself as a whole. Although ignoring your subconscious need to be able to Provide and Protect won't stop you from getting dates, it WILL prevent you from truly being confident as a whole man which will ultimately lead to problems when you meet someone you don't want to lose.

The path to becoming a truly successful man requires you to address the following:

1) Sexual prowess
2) Physical, emotional and mental strength and endurance
3) Education/Career goals and financial responsibility

If every guy on this site would strive to feel successful in ALL of these areas they would become naturally confident. For those who really struggle with women, and don't seem to be getting anywhere...you need to take an honest look at the other areas and focus more attention there. Why? Because men who have the other stuff together find it MUCH easier to deal with women. Success with women is a natural by product of attaining a sense of success in the other areas.

 

[prosemont]

Interesting.

Question: what about guys who have had vasectomies or otherwise can't physically reproduce for medical reasons?

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by prosemont
Interesting.

Question: what about guys who have had vasectomies or otherwise can't physically reproduce for medical reasons?

You're taking things too literally. The "Procreate" doesn't HAVE to mean the ability to have kids. It means the ability to partake in the act that sometimes results in having children. Men who can't get laid do NOT feel like a complete, successful man.

 

[WesCottII]

I agree with you. However, how would one go about being able to achieve "procreation", if he cannot get laid in the first place, or is no good with women?

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by WesCottII
I agree with you. However, how would one go about being able to achieve "procreation", if he cannot get laid in the first place, or is no good with women?

Self-improvement. Even men who are somewhat unattractive can do things to improve their looks. Hair, clothes, working out and if it's that bad there are many cosmetic surgery options for men today. Looks and confidence/emitting being a success as a man is what attracts women. This is why, in order to be successful, it is CRUCIAL that you cover ALL of the bases and improve as a whole man as best you can.

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

Confidence isn't based on what you've done or what you have. It's BELIEF. That's it. Pure and simple.

Some presents a problem.

W/out fail, you accept the challenge to fix it. It's time wasteful to think you need to learn EVERYTHING to be confident. Hardly. I work with fat guys who exude confidence. They had it BEFORE they had the $ and the clients.

Confidence is about REMOVING the barriers to your goal. It's not about BUILDING yourself up. It isn't outside of you, because anything outside of you CAN BE INFLUENCED. Confidence is not effected by outside factors. It remains perfectly in tact. Timeless. Seamless. Tenable.

I believe in what WyldeFire Said. here's why.

You ask WHY our father's had more success? Because...

*By 18, they left the home.
*Many of them had legitimate jobs at 18, or sooner.
*HS and College weren't a time of goofing off, many of them did ROTC or some serious committments ON TOP of athletics.
*Rites of Passage: Men had serious duties growing up. Childhoods weren't about video games or vacations or cell phones, it was about learning to be a man NOW. As soon as possible.
*Larger families meant kids weren't coddled as much.
*Grandfathers and fathers made raising kids a priority, so they INSTILLED their sense of manliness and values in them.

Up to the 70's, men were put through many trials and tribulations on their path into the world. They didn't DEFER life, they EMBRACED it.

Many guys, because of the nuclear family, live at home until 30 or later, or even return. They work only part-time jobs and hardly workout. They assume no responsibility until later in life, dwelling on what's wrong, and not on what they could do about it.

Is that helpful?
Does it get you toward your goal?

Achieving procreation comes first from SELF LOVE, then toward TRUE LOVE. One will not care about you, if you care nothing for yourself. Why?

Because a person who cares for themselves, has everything to give, but what are they receiving in exchange for their time?



Good post Wyldfire,




A-Unit

 

[prosemont]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
You're taking things too literally. The "Procreate" doesn't HAVE to mean the ability to have kids. It means the ability to partake in the act that sometimes results in having children. Men who can't get laid do NOT feel like a complete, successful man.

Oh, okay.

Maybe you should change that first "P" to Prowess then.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by prosemont
Oh, okay.

Maybe you should change that first "P" to Prowess then.

Prowess is too vague. The urge to procreate is a primal instince that exists in all male living beings, both human and animals. It's not just about creating offspring, but also about "conquest".

 

[00Kevin]

Originally posted by Wyldfire

The path to becoming a truly successful man requires you to address the following:

1) Sexual prowess
2) Physical, emotional and mental strength and endurance
3) Education/Career goals and financial responsibility

I agree with what you are saying. I just don't agree everything on your list.

A man does not strive to improve his sexual prowess. To what end does this serve him? Is this not what the femanazis want ? Don't they want men to look good for women and focus on such things. Real men do not do that! Women do that. that is the natural order of things. We don't go around trying to attract women. Women attract us.

What about Honor, Courage, Valor, and wisdom? I think these thigns are more important then Sexual Prowess. Men who are obsessed with sex become week in other aspects of their lives. I'm not saying it is wrong to be a great lover. The fact is men get off every time we have sex. If a women doesn't get off then there is nothing he can do but buy her a vibrator. Pleasing woman isn't something that a man should strive for (that is a popular myth). A man can pleasure 1000s of women b ut in the end it won't get him anyplace in life. It won't make him powerfull.

 

[prosemont]

Originally posted by Wyldfire
Prowess is too vague. The urge to procreate is a primal instince that exists in all male living beings, both human and animals. It's not just about creating offspring, but also about "conquest".

The problem with "procreate" is that you don't mean it as such. It's a very specific word but in your definition, you don't literally mean "procreation" specifically. Because it's such a specific word, the reader has no idea that it shouldn't be taken literally.

I'm not a literalist whatsoever, but from the way you defined it, I took it literally ... others might as well.

But .. whatever ... it's your thread (and a decent one at that -- if not similar to others on this forum -- I can think of posts by Pook specifically addressing these very themes). Have fun.

 

[Interpol]

I'll just repeat exactly what I said before:

Self-improvement is the logical path of action, but if you're not having success with women in the end, you're still going to be frusterated.

 

[CharmaLeo]

hahaha what a bunch of garbage.

 

[Wyldfire]

Re: Re: On Becoming A Successful Man...

Originally posted by 00Kevin
I agree with what you are saying. I just don't agree everything on your list.

A man does not strive to improve his sexual prowess. To what end does this serve him? Is this not what the femanazis want ? Don't they want men to look good for women and focus on such things. Real men do not do that! Women do that. that is the natural order of things. We don't go around trying to attract women. Women attract us.

What about Honor, Courage, Valor, and wisdom? I think these thigns are more important then Sexual Prowess. Men who are obsessed with sex become week in other aspects of their lives. I'm not saying it is wrong to be a great lover. The fact is men get off every time we have sex. If a women doesn't get off then there is nothing he can do but buy her a vibrator. Pleasing woman isn't something that a man should strive for (that is a popular myth). A man can pleasure 1000s of women b ut in the end it won't get him anyplace in life. It won't make him powerfull.

A man's urge for sex is a primal instinct. He can try to deny that but it's pointless. It's just nature. Satisfying his partner is something a man does because he knows it will lead to more sex. In a civilized society, if a man is selfish sexually and the woman gets no pleasure, she won't like sex and won't want it. Women don't need to use sex to survive anymore because they are fully capable of supporting themselves now. Modern society calls for men to work harder to fill their needs because they aren't needed to the extent they once were by women.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by CharmaLeo
hahaha what a bunch of garbage.

If you truly believed it were garbage then you wouldn't be here. Every guy who is here came here because they felt like a failure with women and it made them miserable.

You might be wise to take that chip off your shoulder, go read the bible and do more reading than typing...but I digress.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by prosemont
The problem with "procreate" is that you don't mean it as such. It's a very specific word but in your definition, you don't literally mean "procreation" specifically. Because it's such a specific word, the reader has no idea that it shouldn't be taken literally.

I'm not a literalist whatsoever, but from the way you defined it, I took it literally ... others might as well.

But .. whatever ... it's your thread (and a decent one at that -- if not similar to others on this forum -- I can think of posts by Pook specifically addressing these very themes). Have fun.

No. Procreate is the proper word. This is a case of human nature and instincts. In nature, all male animals, human or otherwise have the compelling urge to spread their seed. It's totally irrelevent if they're firing blanks. It's the PHYSICAL act of putting their seed out into the world, not whether or not life is created because of it. Although the instinct of furthering their blood line is the source of the urges, it's the act itself that the man uses to gauge how successful he is or isn't in this area.

 

[Gonzalo]

Anyone else contemplating the irony of a thread titled "on becoming a successful man" written by a woman?


"Every guy who is here came here because they felt like a failure with women and it made them miserable."

What about every woman...? Oh I get it, the guys who come here are the failures, and the women who hang around giving insightful advise and field reports about how to use their breasts to avoid getting a ticket are the enlightned ones...

"Women don't need to use sex to survive anymore because they are fully capable of supporting themselves now."

Sure.


G

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by Gonzalo
Anyone else contemplating the irony of a thread titled "on becoming a successful man" written by a woman?


"Every guy who is here came here because they felt like a failure with women and it made them miserable."

What about every woman...? Oh I get it, the guys who come here are the failures, and the women who hang around giving insightful advise and field reports about how to use their breasts to avoid getting a ticket are the enlightned ones...

"Women don't need to use sex to survive anymore because they are fully capable of supporting themselves now."

Sure.


G

It's really sad that some people feel the need to try to derail and start problems on what could become a very high quality thread simply because it was started by a woman.

So what if I am a woman. Just because I am it doesn't mean that what I've written is not true. Anyone with any rational sense who is paying attention to society and thinks KNOWS that what I've said is true.

The more capable women are to support and care for themselves the harder it becomes for a man to relate to and form involvements and relationships with women. It's a fact.

Way back when women were not often in the workforce. In order to obtain a secure life for themselves they had no choice but to look to a man to provide that for her. This is how things were back in the caveman days all the way up to the sexual revolution. Women NEEDED men to survive. This just isn't the case anymore, and as unpleasant and offensive as that may sound to you, it's f*cking true...it IS the reality. Hating on me for pointing it out is not only juvenile but pointless, counterproductive and just plain dumb.

You are here because due to the above mentioned changes in society, it's not as easy for you to find a woman. That's why all the guys are here. By nature, man is programmed to take care of women and in return they were historically free to spread their seed and be fed and cleaned up after. More and more women are choosing careers and are less interested in being the woman men grew accustomed to over the centuries. So they are lost and have attempted to adapt to the changes. The result of that attempt to adapt gave birth to what you all refer to as the "AFC". He still has the same needs, but his means of acquiring them have been significantly altered.

Ignoring these truths is simply foolish...period.

 

[Alpine]

According to a well known guru, you could be Homer Simpson and still be a hit.

The cues for attraction supposedly test for the things you say, but because they are instictual, so long as you press the right buttons you get attraction, hence the Jerk syndrome.

Sure, what you should do is become a millionaire with your IQ of 150, have extensive plastic surgery to become a Clooney Clone and build a body of a greek God.

Simple really.

 

[*29*]

The more capable women are to support and care for themselves the harder it becomes for a man to relate to and form involvements and relationships with women. It's a fact.

What?! I don't care how bad a$$ of a chick you are, holding down 5 construction jobs and eating nails for lunch, you're children (if you are capable of having any) ain't gonna respect you.

You could hold a gun up to your kids head and tell him you're gonna blow his fvcken head off.

"So what?" the kid says.

Ain't nothing going to put the kid into submission other than the words:

"I'ma tell your father."

 

[johnny_chase]

I think what you are trying to say is that women are less submissive to the pressures of society today than they were years ago. They have goals now, they have opportunity, and i dont think that it's that they dont need men, just that they have lives of their own now.

Women still need men. Men need women. Guess what, it's biology. Society cant change this, the basis of our society is all about hooking up. What has changed though, are the women. With all the new opportunity available to them, women are much more sucessful and independent in life. Do you think they are going to settle for some chump that she thinks is lower than her? No, of course not. Years ago some dude came around with a decent job, seemed like a provider, popped a ring in her face, and things happened. Hell, my parents were married at my age (20), and it wasnt an emergency marriage either.

Okay, that's it for the little rant there. All i'm saying, you cant wake up one day and "fake confidence". You do have to exude it, radiate it. Wyldfire's three things are good, but not everything. A-unit's got the right idea.

For the record, i'm not here because i cant find women. I'm here because some of this sh!t is funny, and i find it interesting.