Wyldfire,
Just my 0,2 cents:
1. You do things because you LOVE do it, not to be successful with woman, if you decide you have to read books (p. ex.) to become more wise and consequently you'll get woman, you are disrupting nature of things. Wise man decides to read a book to full his spirit, to learn new things, do you see? So they stay motivated, if a guy decide read books to be more successful with woman, when he "fail" like don't get dates, he will loose motivation, because he set up an incorrect association:
+ Self Improvement = + Success Woman
No!
Self Improvement = Full Ego (find a way to get woman) = Ego = Illusion
When you do something for Self Improvement:
- You do for obligation
- You not concentrate
- You expect fast results, etc.
This is why so many guys get frustrated when self improvement don't work, or become boring, because they are doing things by the wrong way!
So, Self improvement is not masturbation, but an easy path to not deal with our real problems, See the example below:
Mr. X get isolated from people, THIS PROBLEM strikes his confidence, he found sosuave and decide for the self improvement (bodybuilding, p.ex). Mr. X won't get the results because he didn't strike the REAL problem = SOCIAL PROBLEM
So, when bodybuilding will get results for Mr. X? When he decide from his heart to do it, because he like to spend time doing fitness, because this full his spirit
I like Martial Arts. When im training im not thinking in self improvement, im trying to learn a new move, a new kick or punch, because i LOVE do "plastic" moves, by this way, my spirit will be full, im feel better myself, so Confidence arrive - Confidence is the consequence of feel better about yourself, so people (include woman) will feel comfortable about you, because you find a way you don't need them to be happy
You see? This way is different instead of self improvement:
Correct mistakes + doing things because you love them = feel good about yourself = you found a way to be happy by yourself, so you do not need more people validation, etc. to be ok = your behavior will reflect this = people will realize and want stay next you to learn how you become independent
This is the sufficient?
No. Mr. X is now more confident, but do nothing to get her ass out home and go for field talk to woman. So Mr. X start make questions?
1.Why im still not getting woman after found the key to be happy by myself?
Answer: Well, lol, because im still in home, so let’s take some buddies phones and go for a Disco!
Buddy 1 – Sorry, I’ll travel today (lie)
Buddy 2 – Sorry Mr. X, I’ll go to my mom party (lie)
Buddy 3 – Sorry, im tired today (true)
Hell! I’m pin down! Why?
Answer 1 – Well, I have to recognize, I decide to enter in social circles now, people still see Mr. X in the old way… He has to find new buddies
Action Terrain: Mr. X is getting very hard difficulties to build a social circle:
1.Should I go alone to a park and talk to strange people?
2.Should I go alone to a disco to talk to woman?
3.Should…oh I remember now Pook post, man is a creature of action, but desperation (fast solutions) is not the answer, ok, let’s go slowly. Mr. X find some buddies in the LLM classes, he organize a paintball game, so now he have more options. He knows is still insufficient, it’s a long way, but he knows how to do, and he’s cool because he learned how to find the true happiness by himself.
You see? Mr. X quest is not easy and self improvement is not the solution. Is go deep inside the real way to solve real problems, and this is more complicated than posts, articles. Is the You vs. You battle.
Thanks,
Rafael, from Brazil
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The best way to learn is going to the field and deal the demons inside you
