nonchalant: The Approach Journal

[nonchalant]

This is for 'The Style Life Challenge' day 10. Assignment is to approach 3 times using a canned opener from the list generated by the challenge participants. You should also throw in a 'disqualifier', or 'neg hit'.

3 sets at the mall, trying to stay in this style life competition. I'm not pressuring myself to SBAP. I am not trying to close, I am big into Mystery Method now, and I am concentrating more on transitioning smoothly to a2 and a3 now, instead of trying to close everything no matter how far I am into seduction. If I try to close before c2, it will be a weak close anyways, and I need to get the process down.

Date: July 10, 2006

Location: Mall, Skokie, IL

Solo Sarge

APPROACH 1:
Supposed warm up set of 2 sorostitute types in the parking lot outside of Nordstroms. HB7 asian and HB5 brunette with bad acne, would have been cute otherwise. I hit them with the 'dogs and cats - which make better pets?' 2 part opener. They seemed - or the brunette seemed - to be in a hurry to catch the bus. The asian got a kick out of it. I could tell they thought I was weird. Warm up set anyways.

Work on:
I did not stack the opener, although I did go for a 2 part opener, I did a disqualifier 'well I can tell you are busy, I gotta go anyways' - according to the style life guidelines. No DHV, no CF (although goofy). Semi relaxed, ok body language.

APPROACH 2:
HOT hot French milfy goodness. About 40, HB9 brunette wearing really expensive clothes. So sexy. OMG. I got this one lady sitting at a park bench, smoking. At first she couldn't believe I stopped and talked to her, then she gave me major attitude - with the accent, I thought she maybe couldn't understand English very well. So hot. Leopard print high heels and pink toenail polish, I'm a huge sucker for that type of shizt.

Anyways, I give her my neutral opener - dogs and cats 2 parts. She likes dogs, big dogs, and does not think it's masculine for a lady to have a big mean looking dog. Caught her checking me, but I honestly got so flustered by her huge attitude at the beginning, that I had a hard time just barrelling through to a2. Neg was - 'those are great shoes - what size are they, 9?'

Later, I saw her walking around with this older guy in a suit that had to be her husband. Didn't feel so bad about blowing myself out of the set after that.

Work on:
Plow through to a2, stack the negs, DHV.

APPROACH 3:
At Barnes and Nobles I approach my favorite of the day - brunette cheerleader type in a miniskirt, HB9. Major IOI's, a lot of giggling and smiling, EC. She liked me. I gave her the 2 part Jealous Girlfriend opener and she ate it up. Long set. I realized that she was probably way too young for me, had to have been freshman in college or even younger. I couldn't close this, I'm way too old. So I just thanked her and ejected. So cute though. I liked her as much as the Hot French milfy goodness.

I love the game. Every day is an adventure. I will master this goddamn game if it takes me the rest of my life. I love talking to women, just seeing the smile on this HB's face was enough to make my day, and I know I made her day too. It's really starting to get fun.

57/250

 

[skip2mylou781]

a2, stack the negs??? wtf is this, a science experiement??


listen to me, you are PATHETIC, and i say that with the hopes that this will help u, im not trying to sound mean at all.

the way u approach all these chicks, is HORRIBLE.....starting with a canned opener like u been doing will get u NOWHERE, and hey y the **** arent u getting these *****es #s??? its not like ur gonna see them, y not at least go for it if u bothered talkin to her????

learn how to approach them naturally and in all honesty just tell them "hey baby i thought ur gorgeous i wanted to come talk to u" - it works, its been proven

CUT THE ****IN BULL**** APPROACHES THAT GET U NOWHERE!!!

done

 

[nonchalant]

hi there.

 

[L777]

a2, stack the negs??? wtf is this, a science experiement??


listen to me, you are PATHETIC, and i say that with the hopes that this will help u, im not trying to sound mean at all.

the way u approach all these chicks, is HORRIBLE.....starting with a canned opener like u been doing will get u NOWHERE, and hey y the **** arent u getting these *****es #s??? its not like ur gonna see them, y not at least go for it if u bothered talkin to her????

learn how to approach them naturally and in all honesty just tell them "hey baby i thought ur gorgeous i wanted to come talk to u" - it works, its been proven

CUT THE ****IN BULL**** APPROACHES THAT GET U NOWHERE!!!

done

noch i think this is harsh but I agree with the principal. A lot of the time you seem preoccupied with these a2, c1 stages, rather than getting some type of close.

PU is not even close to being an exact science, what works with a HB10 may fail with a HB5 the next day...there is no sure-fire method. I think you got the balls to be good at PU, you just need to let it flow a bit more naturally.

BTW this is somthing I feel entitled to give advice about, cos I used to try and remember all the scientific MM type stuff once, and it really isn;t the best way to go (imo). You need to turn yourself into the kind of guy who doesn't NEED to use canned openers, routines etc, otherwise, I reckon a lot of the girls you approach have some idea that your "openers" are preconceived, just becue of the way you deliver them and their seemingly random nature.

 

[nonchalant]

thanks for the support. i am trying to get better at this, i'll try to post better fr's.

 

[Thomas94305]

Nonchalant.. way to go with the Style Life stuff. Have completed day 7. Struggling to stay involved. My setbacks are a combination of limited places here to sarge, the time involved, and approach anxiety. How you doing it? Wing seem to help, or something else?

 

[The Phoenix]

Yo NC,
I got to tell you brother, I admire your tenacity, You have made a choice to improve yourself and you are sticking to it.
Nothing can give you the aura of an alpha more than to stand up for your beliefs and live with a purpose, even if at times you may make mistakes, purpose is a trait exclusive to the alphas, form does not matter eventually you'll get your game real tight.
Wish u where part of my boot camp clan.
I am folowing your progress bro, I am on my 30'something approaches I'd be closer to your number but I started dating this dancer a few weeks into my bootcamp so that slowed me down.
I still approach and sometimes close for practice but not with the intent to go all the way since I really like this girl and she deserves a good guy so I should try to be one.

Just wanted to pass by and let you know I think u r doing great bro, and though my job, my band, my friends and now my girl keep me bussy I still follow the veterans and the new prodogees of the DJing world.

Sarge on brotha!

 

[nonchalant]

It's been awhile. I'm still doing stylelife challenge - it is kicking my ass. I come home at 9-10 every night doing these exercises. A lot of them are exercises in conversation and not really approaches.

I have done 7 approaches for stylelife since last time I wrote. They were using these new routines that style is having us use. I was very incongruent, and I didn't get a close or anything. So far I've just been trying to keep up with the assignments.

I've been looking back at the stuff we've done. I'm pretty much over my approach anxiety - man I remember approach #1. I was scared sh*tless. Now I can approach no problem. It is fitting in all of these different pieces - the disqualifiers, the DHV stories and routines - that I am having trouble integrating into my approaches. They all add up to solid game, but a lot of the time I am struggling so much during the set that I forget a lot of them.

If you can though - learn the 'ring finger routine' - that is just gold.

I will write more when I have time.

64/250

 

[nonchalant]

Nonchalant.. way to go with the Style Life stuff. Have completed day 7. Struggling to stay involved. My setbacks are a combination of limited places here to sarge, the time involved, and approach anxiety. How you doing it? Wing seem to help, or something else?

email me if you wanna talk about the challenge. Have you done day 11-12 yet? Holy crap that was tough. I agree, it takes up a *lot* of time. I have this thing about gaming around where I live - back when I first started I gamed this girl at my gym - of course I crashed and burned pretty hard. Then it was weird whenever I saw her at the gym! so I told myself, no more gaming around where I live. So I drive to different malls and parts of the city farther away from where I live - the problem is the driving time and the gas! I come home at 9-10 at night sometimes!

I am barely hanging on. Some days I have a tough day at work and I am totally not in the mood to sarge, but I am forcing myself to go out anyways. A lot of my sets have been lackluster because I am in a bad state.

My wings suck - they are either AFC, or they don't know how to wing. My best sets have been solo. That huna inner game pdf is gold. I have re read that so many times, I'm planning to get the book. It is really helping me get psyched up to approach.

 

[The_411]

Easy with the ripping ...

if the guy is sacking up and make the cold approaches then he doesn't deserve the grief.

Be constructive and help the brother out.

Nonchalant, a couple of points:

Good stuff with the approaches that's the hard part. I do think you do need a little more varience but some people work well when they've got things planned out.

Key element missing are the neg hits. Make the women wonder why you don't think she's all that and a bag of chips. Especially with the HB8+ women.


On the same topic you're slightly qualifying the girls by saying cool town or that's awesome. You've got to meter out your compliemtns and only give them out on rare occasion. As a former ultra nice guy (still am a nice guy but not to my detriment) you've got to make the women earn the compliments.

Don't be afraid to off the cuff, boisterous, and perverse. Now mind you that doesn't mean crass or a complete a-hole. Just shoot for being a needler and a provocateur.

Don't be afraid to talk about sex and make the girl work for you! Take the mindset that you're the prize.

Of course this is all theorhetical B.S. that means nothing unless it's put into practice, but really angle for mixing it up and confusing the women.

Keep it up there's a huge difference between approach 1 and 57 ...

 

[nonchalant]

Those of you who - rightfully - give me shiat due to my lack of closing will be happy to learn that starting tomorrow, style will be making us close in the stylelife challenge. We haven't been required to thus far in the challenge. So expect some attempted closing hilarity in the near future.

 

[nonchalant]

This is for 'The Style Life Challenge' day 19. Assignment is to 'seed' an upcoming fun event. You should 'seed' this event at least once today during an approach, the other 2 times can be with people you know. I overdid it and made 6 approaches today.

Date: July 19, 2006

Location: Mall, Schaumburg, IL

Solo Sarge


Pre approach seed: I practiced seeding on one of my colleagues at work - I seeded this free outdoor classical concert they have in the city. I didn't have to sell it too much, as he seemed really into it.

So I needed 2 more 'seeds' for today's assignment. My state was pretty lousy after a long day at work, by the end of the night I was in an ok mood though. I went to a mall and did 5 approaches. I seeded this rock music festival they were having in a different part of the city for these sets.

I did 5 approaches in an hour at the mall. They were pretty mediocre approaches, but I have caught up the day I missed and am still in the challenge at least. I got more comfortable after the 3rd one. I deliver the opener pretty well, I still have trouble going into disqualifiers, then dhv's then the seed. I forget disqualifiers most of the time.

APPROACH 1:
Opened a cute japanese girl at Urban Outfitters. She seemed a little scared when I approached her, then after I deliver my opener she tells me, in broken english, that she doesn't know how to speak English. I eject.

APPROACH 2:
I approach an HB6.5 brunette at the Apple store, who was looking at laptops. I was really nervous, I stumbled on the Village People opener, first time I've used it.

me: Hey can I get a quick opinion on something? I was having a debate with one of my friends and neither of us knew the answer to this, can you help?
HB6: ok
me: Remember the Village People? Was there a fireman? My friend says there were 5 of them, I thought there were 6? So far we've counted a construction worker, an indian, a cowboy, and a motorcycle guy. And a fireman?

me: Ok, this is a two part question? Can you name a song by the Village People other than YMCA or Macho Man?

I got a polite answer, but I eject because I was just too damn nervous and she was looking at me weird. But not before mentioning 'Hey have you heard of this cool street fair they're having in Wicker Park this weekend? They're going to have live bands and art exhibitions. Should be a fun time, me and my friends are gonna go.' Lousy approach, way too nervous, voice was shaky as hell. No disqualifiers other than, 'I can't stay long just a quick question...'

APPROACH 3:
I open a 2 set - HB7 brunette and HB7 blonde preppy girls. I open with the Village People, disqualifier was I can't stay long I have to get somewhere, pretty crappy disqualifier. I get a polite answer, throw in a seed about the street fair, then thank them and eject. Still nervous, they were sort of laughing at how ridiculous the question was.

APPROACH 4:
I open a 4 set - HB6 latina pushing a stroller, HB7 latina walking with some dude, probably her boyfriend, and a little kid. I walk with them, they laugh a lot at the ridiculous opener. I neg one of the girl's jewelry. I throw in the seed about the street fair, turns out they're from out of town. I eject, they are looking at me like I'm a crazy man, but I can tell they thought it was funny. Not nervous here, I didn't do the ringfinger routine or any dhv's other than throw in the fact that I lived downtown.

APPROACH 5:
I open a lone wolf HB7 redhead walking around the mall. Semi long set - turns out she is an expert on 70's disco music, since she knew a whole bunch of Village People songs. No negs, no dhv's. I had her laughing and felt pretty relaxed in this set. I throw in a seed about the street fair and eject. This one I could have possibly pushed through to comfort and possibly close, but of course I am an enormous puszy.

Date: July 19, 2006

Location: Strip Club, Chicago, IL

Players: me + 1 wing

I accompany a friend of mine to a local adult entertainment venue, obstensibly because they have 'free drinks', although I'm actually there for the bodacious tatas.

I run my full game - my entire repertoire of openers, negs, dhv routines, 'seeding', and Mystery's 'leading close' - during 4 stripper sets tonight. I throw the works at them - Village People, dogs vs. cats, jealous gf 2 part, i love you, ringfinger routine, the cube, 3 roads, etc etc. Might as well get some practice while I'm here. I figure every PUA has to have some stripper game every once in a while. Most of the sets went alright, I was definitely relaxed here since I didn't get so nervous having to approach. It was great to see their faces light up when I gave the ringfinger routine, or see them laugh when I open with 'thug lovin'.

Even though I am violating my rule of 'no hired guns', I am going to count these 4 stripper sets as 1 set - since I tried to close 1 of them, got denied, and it actually hurt a little since by the end of that (long) set, I actually liked the girl.

70/250

 

[skip2mylou781]

it is EXCRUCIATING to read ur field reports!!!

STOP negging, disqualifying, a1, stack, and w/e else u do.....keep in mind, that it works wonders to just go up to the girl and tell her u think shes gorgeous and talk to her......name, location, wat she does for fun, # close....should take u no longer than ONE minute

 

[arglebargle]

Holy sh!t brother! I just started to read your journal. You've got f-cking balls to try these crazy canned lines on women with their husbands and kids!

Seriously don't listen to anyone putting you down! How many years have you wasted as an AFC? So what if you waste sometime in the beginning and don't close. You are doing ballsy stuff..

You are eventually going to get punched by one of these husbands. Keep your left hand up a little in a non-threatening, non-weirdo way and be ready to bring it up to block a hit. The best way is to grab the back of your neck with your left hand, while pressing your forearm against your ear and temple, keep your chin tucked in to your chest. Then move around to avoid the hit or position your elbow so he hits it.

 

[nonchalant]

it is EXCRUCIATING to read ur field reports!!!

STOP negging, disqualifying, a1, stack, and w/e else u do.....keep in mind, that it works wonders to just go up to the girl and tell her u think shes gorgeous and talk to her......name, location, wat she does for fun, # close....should take u no longer than ONE minute

Gee - I wonder whose advice I should listen to?

Should I follow this guy Style, who wrote a book on PU, has had 3somes with penthouse pets, has gotten a # close off of Britney Spears, and has been consistently voted on thundercat's lair as the #1 PUA on the planet?

... or should I listen to some KJ guy who has racked up 200 posts in the past week, seems to be constantly posting wack AFC advice at all hours of the night on the sosuave forums, who tells me to walk up to a girl and tell her how beautiful she is? should I buy her a drink next or should I just propose to her?

I wonder which of these 2 guys knows more about chicks?

 

[skip2mylou781]

ok u keep doing all ur useless cold approaching, cuz from wat i read, uve NEVER even closed once, cuz girls r creeped out by ur random lines

i was tryin to help u but since ur a bytch about it, then forget about it dumb****

 

[Martin Shabazz Jr.]

Hey nonchalant, just keep on doing what you're doing you are on the right track.

 

[Thomas94305]

Nonchalant.. catching up on your approaches. I'm in the middle of research stuff...and as you know am not in a big town for the summer. So, mid week sarging is tough.

I haven't been going for numbers on approaches like you. Technique, technique, technique is FAR more important now than any particular woman's number. Learning to fish is more important than having any particular fish.

I'm now on day 11, part way through.

I see the lines you have been trying. I've been working with things that are more situationally relevant. Thought I'd pass some along that worked well. In a bar ..asked HB8+.. "would you take someone seriously if you met him in a bar".. HB8: no.. me: Ya, I don't take you seriously either.. blah blah.. then it ended.. I walked a few feet away. A few seconds pass, she comes back to me, close proximity, and bar is not loud..., it went real well. Some others.. "why do gals grind on gals?" Works where there's dancing. "Would you want a guy to date you for your brains, or for beauty?"...

The basic thing I use is to just look at the situation, use what's most interesting and stimulating there. I think it's great that you use routines to harden your balls. What I'm finding is that the conversation still needs to be situationally relevant. So.. when I do some of the StyleLife stuff.. and go to a mall, I can talk about stores, fashion, etc. I can bring up what gals vs guys like, that's cool and stimulating, but it's indirectly talking about relationships. At a bar, people do go to meet the opposite sex. So, it's fair to talk directly about if you'd take someone there seriously, what's hitting on really mean.. grinding..etc. I've tried some stuff that's less relevant to the situation. But, it gets dumb looks. This stuff feels more natural, and still gets the desired result. The gal feels comfy, not "hit upon", it gets an emotional, stimulated response, which is our immediate goal, and convo flows. What it means is that you have to think some about what's going on right there, and find an interesting spin. Canned stuff is fine to get going, this is helping me a lot with interesting convo, though...

Let me know what works best for you

 

[wolfsbaneforever]

Well nonchalant at least you are not in Toronto, where the majority of women are ****ing cold.

Continue what you are doing.

Get out there and do it. Don't let other people tell you, you can't. Believe in what you believe, take your own path, be true to yourself.