story time...
the last church i attended was a few years ago.
they were a simple little baptist church on the outskirts of town.
nice and small and simple.
apparently the pastor there stopped doing weddings a decade or two ago because he felt that the church shouldn't be involved when the couple divorces. not that they wouldn't support the couple, but that they didn't want to be dragged into the middle and made to choose one of them to stay a member over the other when the couple could no longer stomach each other. the pastor was concerned with people not really being brought together by god to get married, who were wanting to get married all the time at the church. so he just stopped doing weddings long ago. the church would just advise folks to go to their local courthouse.
so now two adults, that had been raised in that church all their lives, who were really decent good hearted people that he still refers to as kids (because he watched them grow up) were wanting to get married and he made an exception. he made the exception because he really thought they would grow old together and that they could do that because they had level heads and their natures really seemed to compliment each other very well.
these two individuals had been investing trust and faith in each other since they were little kids. they full heartedly supported each other in all endeavors.
first thing he did was go to the rest of the members in the church and ask them what their thoughts were on doing a wedding. most members of the church felt that they didn't want to "feel" responsible if whatever couple got married there ended up divorced. then when he asked what if it were this particular couple, the members voted to actually perform the wedding in the church. they all felt that this would be one marriage that could survive.
so the church had yard sales and bake sales to fund raise some money. folks all donated money here and there and never mentioned what they were fund raising for. finally when they had enough money, they had a few members come in and paint and put down new flooring in the sanctuary to make it look nicer for this upcoming wedding.
now the church really was in need of having some repairs and replacing the flooring, as it was such an old country building. however, the members busted their butts to do it in time for this wedding because they wanted to make this one particular day be very special.
so one sunday right after service, the couple went and changed their clothes in the sunday room classrooms and came out and the wedding took place right then. everyone who attended church attended the wedding.
it was nice and simple.
and that was it. no more weddings. this was the only exception the church had found to perform a wedding in their church. they went back to advising folks to go to the local courthouse because with the divorce rate so extremely high this day in age, they again did not want to feel responsible for the actions of what couples do.
i told you this story to illustrate that even churches know that the divorce rate is too high and that most people end up divorced now a days. however, they also know that there is an exception to every rule. when the right set of people get together, everyone will notice. the people most important in your life (your family and friends) will notice.
if your loved ones ask you what you are doing being with someone who doesn't seem to fit with you, take heed! that is their way of saying you shouldn't be with that person, they don't want to feel responsible when it all goes sour!
however, if they are see that as a couple together, you make a shiny example of what love really is, they will find a way to tell you by their constant support.
nomarriage.com is going to tell you all the bad harsh things about marriage and when things all go down the toilet.
and this day in age, it would be stupid not to read and research what is going on in the world you live in. what happens when things go sour.
however, there are exceptions. there are good quality people in this world that are not going to do you wrong. there are people that still have morals and have faith and trust in others.
so don't get all terrified and live in a bubble. don't be so afraid of the bad things that can happen, that you fail to experience the parts of life that you want to experience. instead of only researching the bad things that come with divorce, perhaps folks could start researching and qualifying the people they are dating before it comes down to a question of getting married or not.
to me, that's the biggest issue. people getting married to someone before they had a real chance to get to know the person.