No real motivation to meet/date girls anymore

[SW15]

I don't really get IOIs from women in public, at least none that I ever notice. This makes me reluctant to approach as well

That's a good issue to consider. Without IOIs, approaches are less likely to result in arranged dates. You would have more conversations that go nowhere and fizzle out within 30-60 seconds.

At the same time, Millennial women are worse at signaling interest than predecessor generation. This was something that I started to notice in the early 2010s. It would be difficult for me to imagine that Gen Z is better at signaling interest than Millennial women have been.

One of the best seducers I know never looked for IOIs in bars because he knew how poor Millennial women were at signaling. Also, he's 6'4" and he relied a lot on his height to lead to results.

You are a late Millennial so I'm imagining that you're mainly dealing with Gen Z women, who was smartphone zombies before they hit puberty. With the early Millennials like myself, the smartphone stuff didn't start until our 20s.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

That's a good issue to consider. Without IOIs, approaches are less likely to result in arranged dates. You would have more conversations that go nowhere and fizzle out within 30-60 seconds.

At the same time, Millennial women are worse at signaling interest than predecessor generation. This was something that I started to notice in the early 2010s. It would be difficult for me to imagine that Gen Z is better at signaling interest than Millennial women have been.

One of the best seducers I know never looked for IOIs in bars because he knew how poor Millennial women were at signaling. Also, he's 6'4" and he relied a lot on his height to lead to results.

You are a late Millennial so I'm imagining that you're mainly dealing with Gen Z women, who was smartphone zombies before they hit puberty. With the early Millennials like myself, the smartphone stuff didn't start until our 20s.

It may be true that women of my generation are worse at signaling interest, but even so there's gotta be some IOIs that they're capable of showing. That said I never receive IOIs in public either way.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

So I caved and started paying for hinge again. Probably won't have any difference in how many matches I get but for now we'll see. God I hate having to resort to this but my only hope to meet women is to make my profile on dating apps super awesome and super visible

 

[Manure Spherian]

So I caved and started paying for hinge again. Probably won't have any difference in how many matches I get but for now we'll see. God I hate having to resort to this but my only hope to meet women is to make my profile on dating apps super awesome and super visible

What’s your ultimate goal with women? Find one and commit, perhaps marry? Spin plates indefinitely?

 

[BergischerLöwe]

What’s your ultimate goal with women? Find one and commit, perhaps marry? Spin plates indefinitely?

Ideally I want to have a lasting relationship with a woman I'm attracted to and who's compatible with me, somebody I'm really into and not just settling for. Idk if I'd get married on paper, I think what I want is a common law wife if that makes any sense. I don't want to be spinning any plates or go thru a series of long term relationships that last a few years each. Ideally I want to meet someone I really like and can see myself with in the long run, buy some land, settle down, and live a good life. I'm not asking for much, just a woman who I'm attracted to and has things in common with me. I don't want to have kids tho, it's really important to me that any woman I end up dating also doesn't want any. I'm so fed up with the dating world that I want to just meet someone good enough so that I can have the sort of relationship I want and not have to deal with the dating scene ever again.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

This reddit post sums up what I'm feeling:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/14mg6h2

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Even if there's really nothing I can do to improve my situation with meeting women as I've described it here, at least one thing I can do is focus on reducing bodyfat. At least that's something I can control. Right now I lift weights (mostly the olympic lifts), eat a healthy, processed food and soy free, mostly vegetarian diet mainly consisting of milk, vegetables, beans, and cultured diary products, drink very little alcohol, and travel most places by bicycle. These have made a difference but I'm still over 20% bodyfat. What other things can I do to get my bodyfat percentage down to between 15 and 18 percent?

 

[Manure Spherian]

Even if there's really nothing I can do to improve my situation with meeting women as I've described it here, at least one thing I can do is focus on reducing bodyfat. At least that's something I can control. Right now I lift weights (mostly the olympic lifts), eat a healthy, processed food and soy free, mostly vegetarian diet mainly consisting of milk, vegetables, beans, and cultured diary products, drink very little alcohol, and travel most places by bicycle. These have made a difference but I'm still over 20% bodyfat. What other things can I do to get my bodyfat percentage down to between 15 and 18 percent?

1. Track calories and macros.
2. Increase physical activity and/or decrease calories.
3. Put on more muscle. Doing mostly Olympic lifts will not have as drastic an effect as a more size-focused routine will.

I don’t advise vegetarianism for your goal.

I don’t think reducing bodyfat will land you women you want considering your situation. I read some of your posts yesterday and, if I remembered some of what you said correctly, it seemed that what is keeping you alone is women being 20 pounds overweight. Other than that, do these women who you have the chance of “settling” for have redeeming qualities for your aim of a long term meaning relationship?

 

[BergischerLöwe]

1. Track calories and macros.
2. Increase physical activity and/or decrease calories.
3. Put on more muscle. Doing mostly Olympic lifts will not have as drastic an effect as a more size-focused routine will.

I don’t advise vegetarianism for your goal.

I don’t think reducing bodyfat will land you women you want considering your situation. I read some of your posts yesterday and, if I remembered some of what you said correctly, it seemed that what is keeping you alone is women being 20 pounds overweight. Other than that, do these women who you have the chance of “settling” for have redeeming qualities for your aim of a long term meaning relationship?

Sometimes the women I could settle for have redeeming qualities, but physically I’m not as attracted to them so I can never really catch feeling for them. I’m tired of mainly attracting women that are way more into me than I’m into them. I can’t force myself to settle, even if they have redeeming qualities. To do so wouldnt be healthy

 

[SW15]

I've had a goatee with a mustache before and I prefer the look of just the mustache. Plenty of guys with mustaches have girlfriends, I don't see why women would perceive it negatively

The mustache has a negative connotation due to its association with creepy 1970s-1980s porn stars like Ron Jeremy.

Having a goatee prevents you from such associations.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

The mustache has a negative connotation due to its association with creepy 1970s-1980s porn stars like Ron Jeremy.

Having a goatee prevents you from such associations.

Mine doesn't look like that of ron jeremy tho. Completely different style. I'm German so it actually makes sense to have a handlebar mustache lol

 

[SW15]

Mine doesn't look like that of ron jeremy tho. Completely different style

Every mustache has a negative association. Your handlebar mustache would be considered weird and outdated. A typical Millennial and Gen Z female finds anything unusual to be creepy.

I find that I have my strongest douchebag energy when I have a goatee. I have had a goatee before, a mustache/beard combo before, and been clean shaven.

 

[BergischerLöwe]

Goatee without a mustache would look weird on me. But I look worse clean shaven. I look the best with only a mustache, at least I think so. I've had a mustache and goatee before but I didn't like it as much.