nicksaiz65 Odyssey

[nicksaiz65]

Also this is totally random but I look up to 360Jeezy and I wanna be like him. A barber pencil would be a good investment for me. Only $3

 

[nicksaiz65]

But now, my next test is on April 5th I believe. In Databases. I'm gonna fvcking kill this test. Which means I'm going to START EARLY and start studying today.

 

[marmel75]

@marmel75 could you please speak to your experience on this for @nicksaiz65
Was learning programming a struggle? Was it effortful? Did it require lots of discipline? Did you have to force yourself to do it? What was it like for you when you first were learning and starting? Please help @nicksaiz65 understand if his type of struggling and resistance and having to effort to sit down and do what is needed, matches your experience and/or is common? And/or whatever wisdom you can offer here, please...

Hmm...I wouldnt say it was ever a struggle. I mean at first I had no idea what i was doing, but the actual learning of what to do and how to do it and the concepts all just came relatively easy to me. It was like if you started building s building, yeah at first it wasn't much but then as you kept building and building it started to take form...that's how my understanding and learning was....at first it was very little but it kept growing day after day...almost like a snowball rolling downhill...

Honestly for lack of a better way to put it, I really believe that this is my calling in life and I was made to be a programmer. I feel lucky to be able to go to work everyday and get paid a pretty good amount of money to have fun. If programming was a woman she would be the love of my life.

Yeah there are times it gets frustrating or stressful with deadlines, but I never get tired of it. I am passionate about it, love it, pick things up very quickly, am able to see patterns in code and just have an almost natural understanding of it.

I'm not sure how else to explain it. Its kind of like my brain thinks similarly to a computer so I just understand it without having to do much to try and learn it.

Sure, learning algorithms and concepts were a little bit tough in the beginning but it never took me very long to understand it. Also when a person talks a out learning programming you cant just learn a computer language. You have to learn databases, SQL, database concepts, why you'd choose one type of database over another, interactions between programming languages and other things like visualization tools, file systems, the cloud, security, encryption, etc, etc...there is a LOT more to learn about programming than just a computer language...at least if you want to be able to do much if anything in the real world. Honestly most of this stuff are things you have to just pick up and learn on your own on the fly because you will many times be put into a situation where you have to do something you never have done before or use concepts tou have never have use before. And you have to not only figure out what to do but how to do it and nobody is going to be there holding your hand...you either are gonna sink or swim.

As far as forcing myself to do it? Never...for several years before I started working as a professional i would come home from my job and spend 4 or 5 hours a night programming. I loved it...it was the highlight of my day, every day. When I wasn't programming i was thinking about programming or reading about programming or thinking about a problem and how I needed to go about solving it. Its almost like how drawing or painting would be to an artist...programming gives you a blank canvas and you can fill it whatever way you want...its like a form of artistic expression to me...

Now I'm not going to say that there aren't people out there who are good programmers who aren't into as much as I am. There are, but they are few and far between. Most of the other programmers I have talked with are into just as much as i am and working on side projects outside of work just like I do. I have had some of the most absolutely joyful nerdy conversations of my life with other programmers and we have sat there and just talked about various things that are pretty dorky and it was like time stood still and before eithe of us knew it we had been talking for 3 hours.

Kinda like a Trekky in that way i guess...my eyes light up when i meet a fellow programmer and we can talk about nerdy things...I have embraced my inner nerd...I embrace my intellect and am proud of being a nerd or dork or geek or whatever else someone would say i am...nobody thinks that's me until they get to know me because I dont fit the profile of what most people think they look like but once they get to know me they'll eventually say something like "You really are a nerd arent you?" and laugh...but I've also found that when you are passionate about something and when you accept yourself for who you are and make no excuses for it and are comfortable in your own skin, women, and people in general are drawn to that...its like a certain energy you give out, I'm not sure how to explain it.

 

[LiveYourDream]

If programming was a woman she would be the love of my life.

My favorite line! ^^^ I LOVE this!!!

@marmel75 I asked and hoped. You delivered times a million! Wow! Your sharing is incredible! All the components that you shared, the way you put all the pieces together, and then the descriptiveness in all of it, blew me away! What you wrote and shared is phenomenal! I so appreciate your doing it for Nick right now! I loved reading about you and your passion. Your sharing radiates your passion and love for what you do! It is palpable. It is amazing. If someone is ever uncertain about their career choice, they can read what you shared here and it makes it so clear what passion feels like. I loved reading it.

I also hugely appreciated getting a deeper look and knowing of who Marmel is off SS! Impressive!!! I am so happy, for you, that you spend your days thinking about and doing what you LOVE the most!!! What an incredible life!!! I wish that for everyone, for them to follow their heart and do what they love and make a great living doing so! A life lived doing what you love is gift, not only to yourself, but to all those around you, as well.

Marmel, I am grateful for your presence on SS! All you shared in your post is priceless! Truly inspiring! Thank you Marmel!

 

[nicksaiz65]

Hmm...I wouldnt say it was ever a struggle. I mean at first I had no idea what i was doing, but the actual learning of what to do and how to do it and the concepts all just came relatively easy to me. It was like if you started building s building, yeah at first it wasn't much but then as you kept building and building it started to take form...that's how my understanding and learning was....at first it was very little but it kept growing day after day...almost like a snowball rolling downhill...

Honestly for lack of a better way to put it, I really believe that this is my calling in life and I was made to be a programmer. I feel lucky to be able to go to work everyday and get paid a pretty good amount of money to have fun. If programming was a woman she would be the love of my life.

Yeah there are times it gets frustrating or stressful with deadlines, but I never get tired of it. I am passionate about it, love it, pick things up very quickly, am able to see patterns in code and just have an almost natural understanding of it.

I'm not sure how else to explain it. Its kind of like my brain thinks similarly to a computer so I just understand it without having to do much to try and learn it.

Sure, learning algorithms and concepts were a little bit tough in the beginning but it never took me very long to understand it. Also when a person talks a out learning programming you cant just learn a computer language. You have to learn databases, SQL, database concepts, why you'd choose one type of database over another, interactions between programming languages and other things like visualization tools, file systems, the cloud, security, encryption, etc, etc...there is a LOT more to learn about programming than just a computer language...at least if you want to be able to do much if anything in the real world. Honestly most of this stuff are things you have to just pick up and learn on your own on the fly because you will many times be put into a situation where you have to do something you never have done before or use concepts tou have never have use before. And you have to not only figure out what to do but how to do it and nobody is going to be there holding your hand...you either are gonna sink or swim.

As far as forcing myself to do it? Never...for several years before I started working as a professional i would come home from my job and spend 4 or 5 hours a night programming. I loved it...it was the highlight of my day, every day. When I wasn't programming i was thinking about programming or reading about programming or thinking about a problem and how I needed to go about solving it. Its almost like how drawing or painting would be to an artist...programming gives you a blank canvas and you can fill it whatever way you want...its like a form of artistic expression to me...

Now I'm not going to say that there aren't people out there who are good programmers who aren't into as much as I am. There are, but they are few and far between. Most of the other programmers I have talked with are into just as much as i am and working on side projects outside of work just like I do. I have had some of the most absolutely joyful nerdy conversations of my life with other programmers and we have sat there and just talked about various things that are pretty dorky and it was like time stood still and before eithe of us knew it we had been talking for 3 hours.

Kinda like a Trekky in that way i guess...my eyes light up when i meet a fellow programmer and we can talk about nerdy things...I have embraced my inner nerd...I embrace my intellect and am proud of being a nerd or dork or geek or whatever else someone would say i am...nobody thinks that's me until they get to know me because I dont fit the profile of what most people think they look like but once they get to know me they'll eventually say something like "You really are a nerd arent you?" and laugh...but I've also found that when you are passionate about something and when you accept yourself for who you are and make no excuses for it and are comfortable in your own skin, women, and people in general are drawn to that...its like a certain energy you give out, I'm not sure how to explain it.

That's incredible bro. I knew you liked programming but I never realized you were this passionate about it.

I know all I do in this journal is complain about programming assignments. But I really do like this stuff. I don't want to do anything else. My purpose in life is to be a programmer/musician/composer. If I run from that, it would be akin to me running from life itself.

Really wish I had realized this my first semester of college. I was just taking classes to take classes.

But thanks for your insight. That's the kind of passion I need to have if I want to succeed. One of my favorite parts of communities such as these is that I've learned to embrace my inner nerd. I love being a geek and working on technical things like music or programming.

 

[marmel75]

That's incredible bro. I knew you liked programming but I never realized you were this passionate about it.

I know all I do in this journal is complain about programming assignments. But I really do like this stuff. I don't want to do anything else. My purpose in life is to be a programmer/musician/composer. If I run from that, it would be akin to me running from life itself.

Really wish I had realized this my first semester of college. I was just taking classes to take classes.

But thanks for your insight. That's the kind of passion I need to have if I want to succeed

You have to learn to focus bro...when you are in the moment with that code, nothing else matters. You don't look at clocks, worry about eating or drinking, about text messages or calls...nothing. There are times where I dont even know what time it is after I get out that state...and the clock is right on the screen!! Its like an alien abduction...you lose time and you don't know where it went...

Its you and the code and you become immersed in it...almost as if the code is an extension of you...

Like how in the Matrix Neo started having code come out of him when he become one with it? Thats what you need to strive for...the level of focus, detail andn dogged determination that you will figure out whatever it is you need to at all costs...and you dont leave that screen until you do.

That will take you far...very far. You can do anything in programming you just have to sometimes think of things differently when you get stuck. See the code in your mind...

 

[nicksaiz65]

You have to learn to focus bro...when you are in the moment with that code, nothing else matters. You don't look at clocks, worry about eating or drinking, about text messages or calls...nothing. There are times where I dont even know what time it is after I get out that state...and the clock is right on the screen!! Its like an alien abduction...you lose time and you don't know where it went...

Its you and the code and you become immersed in it...almost as if the code is an extension of you...

Like how in the Matrix Neo started having code come out of him when he become one with it? Thats what you need to strive for...the level of focus, detail andn dogged determination that you will figure out whatever it is you need to at all costs...and you dont leave that screen until you do.

That will take you far...very far. You can do anything in programming you just have to sometimes think of things differently when you get stuck. See the code in your mind...

I'll take that to heart. We have one program left in Databases. I'll test my focus with that.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Grade Check, Date Today

I just got my Test 2 back in Databases. 70. Yeahhhh boi. So it turns out I CAN do this shyt after all. I'm gonna pass this class and make some progress towards my Computer Science Degree!

Now how well I pass the class depends on my next grades. If I kill it, I can make a C. That would be excellent, it would make my semester GPA pretty decent.

So for now, I'm grinding towards knocking out that Test 3. It is indeed on April 5th, a Friday. I'd like to make a 100 on it. That's a week out. Plenty of time for me to study for this test.

As for how I'm going to spend my day today... mostly studying, cleaning my room, practicing violin, brushing, working out(one of my dreams was to finish the Podrunner series) and just filling out paperwork.

When I need to go eat, I'll be going on a date today to kill two birds with one stone. With that girl who hit me up first was asking if I wanted to go out and eat. I'm trying to go on a date and then fvck, not go on some friendly excursion. So it's a win win for me though. If she brings friends: I know her interest level is low, she doesn't see me as a sexual prospect, and she's trying to use me for free attention. But I still get to go out and get a nice meal before I go back to working on my purpose. On top of that, I have another girl lined up who wants to go out with me who is sending me winky faces and stuff like that. And she was the one who asked me to go out too. So I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket. All I have to do is shut up, not say/do anything stupid, and get that girl out on a date.

Now if she doesn't bring friends, I can assume that she's interested and I'll bring her back to my place to fvck. No bullshyt like the last time.

I'll have a report for you guys on both my studying and this date. I also need to remind myself how to act on a first date.

Crazy how everything Pook says is true. I came here to fix my love life, but now I'm re-examining my entire life.

 

[allancc3]

Grade Check, Date Today

I just got my Test 2 back in Databases. 70. Yeahhhh boi. So it turns out I CAN do this shyt after all.
Now how well I pass the class depends on my next grades. If I kill it, I can make a C.

LMAO!

 

[nicksaiz65]

LMAO!

What I mean by that is if I do really well on all the remaining assignments, my overall average will be around a 76.

Idk if you've ever taken an Upper Division CSC Class, but the shyt's hard. No hate please.

I saw what you said in that other thread about the Holocaust as well. Between that and trying to insinuate that I'm like Elliot Rodger... Blocked. Goodbye

 

[GrowingPains]

Champions are made when no one is watching.

 

[GrowingPains]

I still encourage you to think about why you're doing comp sci and why you want to make music for a living.

What is it about using CS to solve problems (which problems?) that interests you so much? How can you change the world, even if it is in a small way, by doing CS? Similar to music.

I suggest you identify the answers to those things. Because when it gets tough and you're sitting there saying "Why the fvck am I doing this" you will need an answer, or you will end up doing a poor job or quitting.

It is great to be motivated. But motivation is over rated. If you identify your 'why' then you don't need motivation. All you need is self-discipline. In a way, that's motivation, but what I'm defining motivation as in this context is being all hyped up and feeling good about the task at hand. There will be MANY days where it fvcking sucks. And you don't want to sit down and do what you have to do. And in those moments you won't feel motivated, you will need to remind yourself why and be self-disciplined enough to power through. Because you understand that the struggle you're facing in that moment will all be worth it in the end.

This is not an easy thing to identify. But it's the hard questions that need answering that will bring you clarity and direction.

I was in your shoes when I was a sophomore. I just wanted to make money from my engineering degree and play soccer. I lost sight of why I was taking classes. I did have an idea about why I wanted to do engineering when I was young, I wanted to save the world (CO2 emissions) and make water-powered cars. I lost track of that after some time. While that's not possible (at least in the way I was imagining it), I am back on track to sustainable transportation and it helps keep me going to remind myself of why I need to nut up and get the task at hand done.

The phrase 'born to do xyz' is bullsh!t. No one is born to do anything. How could they be? Did they have a computer in the womb? A basketball? A surgical knife? Everyone is a product of their environment. It influences how they think about/relate to certain things and it leads them to identify their calling. You will struggle. If you're not struggling then you're not pushing hard enough. You cannot grow without struggle - think about building muscles. Struggle is a healthy thing. But every time you conquer struggle, you get stronger. More competent. And can take on the next task more tactically and quickly than the last. Create an environment where you are immersed in an area of CS that you enjoy and allow that environment to shape you into a CS beast. Go to talks. Do projects. Ace your classes. Be friends with the best of the best. It will be hard, but it will be extremely rewarding. Especially once you identify your why.

I blabbered a lot here. But hopefully the points were obvious enough to catch.

TLDR; Find your why.

Tips:
Think about what you think is wrong with the world and how you can solve it. This is a grand question but there are big problems and there are small problems too. In my opinion, anything that improves the human condition is worth considering.
How can CS be a solution to such problems?
What are some of the major questions in CS now?
What companies are doing meaningful work? Why is it meaningful?
What skills do you need to do meaningful CS work?
Can you talk to people in the field to ask them what their why is? This is a great opportunity to network. People love helping people - especially young people. Think about it... all of us have been commenting here to help you. We're real people but we're interacting with you online. Imagine how well received you'd be in person by someone that could see that you are genuinely curious and want to learn from them.

Godspeed.

 

[nicksaiz65]

@GrowingPains

That's a really deep question. I'd have to reflect on that a bit more before I can give you a detailed answer. But I can at least give you a basic answer for the time being before I go to the gym.

Well the whole reason I got into CS is because I always had an interest in technology/video games especially when I was a kid. Instead of just thinking of them as magic in a box, I asked myself "how does this actually work? What's going on behind the scenes here?" I did some research and eventually discovered programming. I read books on the subject and found it fascinating. Anything I imagined, I could code it and make it a reality. I started building basic games, went to beginner code bootcamps, and eventually made a musical generation sightreading app that actually won a competition. I originally wanted to be an English Major haha. Because I like reading and I'm the creative type. But for me, it made more sense to go into Computer Science. That's why I'm gonna finish my degree even if I got sidetracked and it takes me longer than normal.

I've been playing violin since I was a kid. As long as I applied myself, I found myself pretty dang good at it. I always was a huge classical music fan, although I play other kinds of music too because I realized how important it is to be versatile as a musician. Not everyone likes Classical Music. I like classical music because it's such a rich sound, and I can express myself and tell a story through music. That goes for other types of music too. I love challenging myself and learning new music. I always hear the sound in my head first: how do I want this to sound even before I put the bow on the string? How can I create that type of sound with the technique that I know? Does that sound right? If I paid for a concert, would I want to hear a sound like this? No? Then what can change? How can I learn this difficult passage? It's very dynamic. I always loved the idea of a violin virtuoso and I dream to be one. One advantage of me fvcking up college is that I'll have more time to study and become the virtuoso that I always dreamed of being. Realistically, I need to manage my time better and practice more or I'm in for an ass kicking once I graduate and try to go professional. Just because I'm good doesn't mean I can get c0cky.

I'm not that great at music composition yet, I've been doing it for only about a year. But I find synthesis really fascinating, and I love the idea of being able to write your own music that you hear in your head instead of just playing others music. I've been doing violin for almost 17 years at this point so of course I'm not that great at composing yet. But I got a ton of books on the subject and it's already helping break my Writers' Block. The main issue right now is that my chordal vocabulary is limited and my melodies are simply getting dragged around by my harmonies. The book I'm reading warned against that. But I've released some of my compositions. I've gotten really positive feedback on them. People say that they can hear a lot of potential in my music. I want to start a side business to have a passive income. AMS and RSD Derek say for that, you need some kind of product. I think being a producer(I'm already going to be a violinist on the side) makes the most sense there. Great way to get some passive income even when I sleep. So I'm putting in more time and working on improving my compositions. Another reason I love being a producer is with a DAW, you kind of have an "orchestra in a box." It could be 2 AM and I get hit with a really cool melody. I can load up FL Studio and hear what the final product could sound like instantly. As opposed to being a classical composer where I'd just have to write it and have other musicians play it later. I can lock myself in my room and put together a creative endeavor all by myself if I want. Girls seem to like this kind of stuff too, which is only a bonus. Even if they didn't like it I'd still do it. It's another method of me expressing myself. I've been told I'd have better luck monetizing my passion in EDM though. The hip hop market is crazy oversaturated with rap's popularity.

Sorry that went a bit long. Hopefully you guys can understand where I'm coming from a bit better now. I've gotten really distracted trying(and failing somewhat) to reinvent myself in college so that's why I've been messing up. But this is a good chunk of my original goals.

 

[Papa_smu]

Sorry that went a bit long. Hopefully you guys can understand where I'm coming from a bit better now. I've gotten really distracted trying(and failing somewhat) to reinvent myself in college so that's why I've been messing up. But this is a good chunk of my original goals

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is just accept who you are, and those doors you desperately chase after just to open will just show up and open.

Women tend to like a guy that's pretty at peace with himself.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I like classical music because it's such a rich sound, and I can express myself and tell a story through music. That goes for other types of music too.

Never forget that. ^^^^

As I see it, telling stories, and conveying emotion through music, will give YOU tremendous satisfaction, and in a very deep way Nick!

It is a big part of why you FEEL so much!!!

Consider that all these ups and downs and twists and turns that you have felt along the way, in your “progress” in life have actually been gifts. They will give you a HUGE advantage, in telling stories through your music!! YOU have FELT so much!!!! That is prime fuel, for composing and playing music that actually conveys emotion and truly tells a story!!!! Then you are not making it up or imagining it from scratch, rather you’ve actually have really felt that deep and you are sharing that!!!!! HUGE!!!!

Side note- I knew a man who is/was paid to play the cello around the world. He teaches at a conservatory when he’s home. His wife plays too. Her passions have taken her beyond her music. She does other things now too. They are great people! Great life! All kinds of wonderful possibilities for you Nick!!

Glad to see you reconnect to your desire around programming too!

Lot of clarity this week!!!

Women tend to like a guy that's pretty at peace with himself.

Absolutely!!!
Later in life, do not let yourself mix up being “at peace” with allowing yourself to become stagnant. Two very different things!

 

[nicksaiz65]

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is just accept who you are, and those doors you desperately chase after just to open will just show up and open.

Women tend to like a guy that's pretty at peace with himself.

That's one thing I'm continuing to work on. Presenting myself to the world instead of trying to be someone I'm not. Weirdly I feel like that'll come easier as I get in the gym more

 

[nicksaiz65]

Never forget that. ^^^^

As I see it, telling stories, and conveying emotion through music, will give YOU tremendous satisfaction, and in a very deep way Nick!

It is a big part of why you FEEL so much!!!

Consider that all these ups and downs and twists and turns that you have felt along the way, in your “progress” in life have actually been gifts. They will give you a HUGE advantage, in telling stories through your music!! YOU have FELT so much!!!! That is prime fuel, for composing and playing music that actually conveys emotion and truly tells a story!!!! Then you are not making it up or imagining it from scratch, rather you’ve actually have really felt that deep and you are sharing that!!!!! HUGE!!!!

Side note- I knew a man who is/was paid to play the cello around the world. He teaches at a conservatory when he’s home. His wife plays too. Her passions have taken her beyond her music. She does other things now too. They are great people! Great life! All kinds of wonderful possibilities for you Nick!!

Glad to see you reconnect to your desire around programming too!

Lot of clarity this week!!!
Absolutely!!!
Later in life, do not let yourself mix up being “at peace” with allowing yourself to become stagnant. Two very different things!

I see what you're saying! That's a really interesting perspective on things. Music is such a great outlet for me... Which is exactly why I need to put in more time and hone my skills

 

[LiveYourDream]

There is surface level entertainment.

Then there is music that touches your Soul. You feel it!!
You not only hear and feel the resonance and/or emotion of the music. It also resonates that emotion/feeling, inside the listener. It's profound.

One thing at a time Nick. Homework!!

 

[nicksaiz65]

There is surface level entertainment.

Then there is music that touches your Soul. You feel it!!
You not only hear and feel the resonance and/or emotion of the music. It also resonates that emotion/feeling, inside the listener. It's profound.

One thing at a time Nick. Homework!!

Yup I was just about to say that lol. Bit of studying then I'm going to sleep so I can get up in time for the gym tomorrow.

But I will say one more thing about Music Composition/books in general. I've been reading Music Composition for Complete Idiots and I'm learning a ton. Way more than any academic textbook. So there's no shame at all in reading these For Dummies(or just non-school textbooks in general) Books to learn stuff for my professional career.

I can't wait until I take my Automata Theory classes and then I get to kill it with the Automata Theory for Dummies/Demystified books. That stuff is really interesting to me for whatever reason.

 

[nicksaiz65]

New Shoes

Hey guys, I just got out of class and I have a minute so... I checked my mailbox and my package came in!

A while back I had been complaining about how these flat skater shoes have been killing my feet. So I got some rep Air Max 97s. Very cheap so I can save money for school. But fresh af in my opinion as well.
The DHGate Reviews were really good so I'm gonna trust them.

Idk how you guys like sneakers, but I was curious as to what some of you all thought!

Let me know what you guys think! Now back to my work for today. If I'm gonna make a perfect score on a test, which I have done before, I need to go in.

Air Max 97

http://imgur.com/a/hMsBVFt