Never Ask To Become Exclusive

[Bigpapa]

guess it threw me saying that 2 dates in. Wasn't prepared for that.
I do like her tho so its not an issue for me. Was never really good at keeping numerous plates spinning anyways

Then things are clear and you know how to respond to what she said

 

[Rainman4707]

so what does it mean if after 2 dates (second one sexual) she tells you shes not talking to anyone else on the dating site you met on and prefers to focus on one person at a time and seeing where it goes? And "thats just how she feels. "
It kind of took me by surprise and i didnt really know what to say.
Seems like a subtle hint at locking me down without actually coming out and asking? My response should of been??

Depends. Go by their actions, not so much what they say. A lot of women say that they only date one man and they are seeing multiple guys.
If she is'nt putting out, im finding it elsewhere.

 

[Lookatu]

guess it threw me saying that 2 dates in. Wasn't prepared for that.
I do like her tho so its not an issue for me. Was never really good at keeping numerous plates spinning anyways

2 dates does seem like a red flag and it can be a test.

With that said, not sure how old your date is but older women generally know more of what they want and what they see. They realize the grass isn't always greener on the other side. But also they are less marketable and have most likely have gone through the CC at some point or have been pumped and dumped one too many times than they care for.

As usual go by her actions as others have said. If she is giving you the focus, effort, attention, affection that shows that she is able to go "all in" with you and you like her and the way she treats you, it's not going to be a deal breaker to see where two of you can go.

The downside of not multi-dating and putting all your eggs in one basket is potential loss of time/opportunity/ that you can have with others, but also getting clingy/possessive/oneitis(negatives).

The upside of not multi-dating is you're able to focus and put forth more effort into a specific individual to foster the environment for growth that you may not have splitting your efforts amongst many.

Ask yourself if spending 1-2 months with her to get to know her will make or break anything going on in your life?

Alternatively, you can be coy and be a player and tell her whatever she wants to hear to keep her hooked.

Those are your basic two choices.

 

[bcude]

so what does it mean if after 2 dates (second one sexual) she tells you shes not talking to anyone else on the dating site you met on and prefers to focus on one person at a time and seeing where it goes? And "thats just how she feels. "
It kind of took me by surprise and i didnt really know what to say.
Seems like a subtle hint at locking me down without actually coming out and asking? My response should of been??

I got the exact same sentence from an ex, a couple of dates later than you. She wants to tell you that she's looking for something serious and wants to feel you out if she's going to invest more emotions in you or not. Lots of women can't stand the fact that you're dating around while seeing them, that's what they say however.
She's not asking for you exclusivity yet, she's more feeling you out with serious intentions in the back of her mind.
No shame in saying something like: "i enjoy being single but like the feeling i have with you so far. It's still early days so let's see where this is going.."
Just don't tell her that you're only seeing her when in reality you don't. Never lie, but you don't have to give her full disclosure either.

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

Ask yourself if spending 1-2 months with her to get to know her will make or break anything going on in your life?

im 54 shes 47. Apparently she was with a guy for 23 yrs,( not married) before she left cause he was an alcoholic and she'd had enough, then she was with a guy for 3 yrs before he became a rabid trump supporter and she couldnt take that, then a few online dates and me.
She seems like a great gal, sweet, pretty so i dont mind taking the time to get to know her. I just don't trust women in general so im wary her true colors will come out eventually. Only thing that bothers me is she has nothing in life beyond a decent vehicle and sex, hopefully she can cook too.

 

[Lookatu]

im 54 shes 47. Apparently she was with a guy for 23 yrs,( not married) before she left cause he was an alcoholic and she'd had enough, then she was with a guy for 3 yrs before he became a rabid trump supporter and she couldnt take that, then a few online dates and me.
She seems like a great gal, sweet, pretty so i dont mind taking the time to get to know her. I just don't trust women in general so im wary her true colors will come out eventually. Only thing that bothers me is she has nothing in life beyond a decent vehicle and sex, hopefully she can cook too.

Personally, I think she must be doing something right if she can hold down LTR's. Plus if what she says is true, it doesn't seem like she has ridden the CC yet and maybe less bitter or jaded because of it. I usually find gals that are willing to be with a trump supporter for any length of time when they are not, to be somewhat open minded and flexible on things. These two attributes lends itself to better LTR potential.

I mean at that age, what kinds of things are you looking for a woman to have going on in her life? If she has kids, her kids are her life priority(or should be) and have her job on cruise control to get a paycheck and provide stability for her family.

 

[Mister_Skinny_Jeanz]

hmmmmmmm

On a game level, that makes sense.

Sometimes though, she'll feel the same way but just isn't going to ask you first for whatever reason. She's not sure, she's worried YOU might be dating someone else... plenty of reasons.

If you're really into her, and you don't ask her... you may loose her. Maybe some other guy will ask her and she'll decide he likes her more!

So - if you're really into a girl and you think she likes you too.. and you WANT to be exclusive - ****ing tell her. Don't worry about what she wants. Worry about what YOU want.

You're awesome right? You're gonna make her happy right? Of course you are. So go for it. If you loose her for lack of taking charge, you're going to feel like a ****.

Fail. we are not worried about ''losing'' anything
if she doesnt ask , we dont care.
if she goes with the other guy then thats fine ,she wont be missed. we still got plates over on this side.
her ego wouldnt allow for a healthy exclusive thing anyway.

plus we dnt wanna give up ANY energy..... we already know she gets hit on constantly on social media , at the grocery store at school or work. so we cant be asking..... she has the cards as far as that goes ... it has to be her.

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

I mean at that age, what kinds of things are you looking for a woman to have going on in her life? If she has kids, her kids are her life priority(or should be) and have her job on cruise control to get a paycheck and provide stability for her family.

well all her kids are older, her 20 yr old son does still live with her but works and helps pay bills so i think its more a convenience thing that anything else. Just figured at that age she'd have her own house or at least nice furniture. She lives in a very small 2 bedroom house she rents, a tad dumpy. Hell im poor but i have vacation property, motorcycle, boat, nice house, hot tub out back, wood stove inside and tons of "stuff? Just thought she'd have more in life by now but who knows maybe she has a big bank account i don't know about.
Not that i really care about what she has but i think you know what i mean.

 

[Lookatu]

well all her kids are older, her 20 yr old son does still live with her but works and helps pay bills so i think its more a convenience thing that anything else. Just figured at that age she'd have her own house or at least nice furniture. She lives in a very small 2 bedroom house she rents, a tad dumpy. Hell im poor but i have vacation property, motorcycle, boat, nice house, hot tub out back, wood stove inside and tons of "stuff? Just thought she'd have more in life by now but who knows maybe she has a big bank account i don't know about.
Not that i really care about what she has but i think you know what i mean.

I know plenty of women that doesn't have those but it doesn't make them a bad person. People are where they're at for various reasons. I wouldn't ding her for not having certain materialistic possessions by her age.

Also remember that (older generation)women are generally less financially savvy than guys. Also some women prefer experiences and premium products over owning materialistic things. I know some gals that still rent and don't own much but they have travelled to many countries. It depends on the individual and where they want to put their money at.