Never Ask To Become Exclusive

[ohnoes]

I have never heard of a situation where the GIRL asks the GUY to be her "boyfriend" (in a steady sense). This doesn't seem logical to me, it's like a girl approaching a man and asking for his number.. It might happen, but seems very rare.

She will ask you something along the lines of.. "What are we?"

Sasha, if she doesn't ask that's her loss. Anti-Dump's strategy was to protect his heart while dating women with HIGH interest levels. His strategy is much like a fishing net that catches the best fish (women w/ HIL) while filtering out the minnHOs. If she doesn't ask you to be exclusive her interest level just isn't high enough to be taken seriously.

YOU can do want you want and ask for exclusivity but it comes with a price. You won't entirely know what her true interest level is. She could be saying yes because you are the best thing around at the moment and it beats being single.

 

[Fela Kuti]

this depends on culture too i guess. there is no way women in my country would ask first.

 

[Jakeg123]

WHOA, I am literally dealing with this right now so happy I found this. I didn't know if I should bring it up or not, and wasnt sure if I could still hook up with other girls. We hold hands, cuddle and all that. Act relatively serious. Wasn't sure if it just kind of happened or if i should say something about us being exclusive. I think it's more of me worrying that she is hooking up with other guys. And I've stopped myself from hooking up from other girls because I'm a bit confused.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Now that I look back at this.. It makes a lot more sense. Asking a girl to be your exclusive girlfriend could come off as desperate, especially if you are lacking in speech and rhetoric. (Ex: asking the girl to be exclusive in a really mousy nervous tone VS. saying it in a strong audible masculine tone.)

I suppose this speech and rhetoric idea could be over-analyzing though hah.

 

[typical]

this depends on culture too i guess. there is no way women in my country would ask first.

No it doesn't matter what race or cultural upbringing the girl has had, if you so it right she will push the buttons and ask you

"So what are we" or something along the lines of that, You keep saying the right things and one day out of the blue you will have said girl eating out of your hand and saying I love you all the time and txting you all day and calling you all day.

At this point I run away LOL too much clingyness for me. Maybe one day I'll stick around.

 

[Cappo Yung]

I think I’ll carry this post with me to eternity.

She was the one to ask, not me, if anything happens , she initiated it.

Blessed Sir Anti Dump.

 

[zekko]

I like this thread. I agree with Anti-Dump that the woman should ask first. However, if you already initiated it, it's not necessarily the end of the world. The second poster said he already asked first, and it went well.

Anti-Dump didn't respond by saying "You're wrong, a beta phaggot and a fool, enjoy having your balls in her purse until she cucks you with some Chad alpha". Nope, he just said I wish you well. Maybe the forum has changed.

 

[Cappo Yung]

I like this thread. I agree with Anti-Dump that the woman should ask first. However, if you already initiated it, it's not necessarily the end of the world. The second poster said he already asked first, and it went well.

Anti-Dump didn't respond by saying "You're wrong, a beta phaggot and a fool, enjoy having your balls in her purse until she cucks you with some Chad alpha". Nope, he just said I wish you well. Maybe the forum has changed.

I think the forum has matured .
even though I’m new here, but so far it's been a journey for most users here.

 

[zekko]

I think the forum has matured.

In some ways. In some ways not.

 

[Snag87]

I would never ask or have "the talk". However I could simply referring to the girl as my girlfriend if I feel we've reached that stage

 

[Vantagepoint34]

Ahhh anti-dumps machine. Brings back memories..

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Maybe the forum has changed.

Maybe the times have changed instead. This was 20 years ago, after all.

 

[strikerace13]

I would have to agree with this as the women I have dated have choose me and bring up exclusive first as they don't want me to get away. It say a lot about what kind of value you have to women your dating.

 

[Rainman4707]

Girl i was seeing after a few month, she started the usual questions. Where is this going? My mentality was to NOT ANSWER that question. I just shrugged my shoulders. She proceeded to interrogate me. I responded. "Erm" "hmm" If she wants it to go further, she should ask. She proceeded to harrass me. I said "well what do you think?" While keeping an uninterested body language.

She asked me several different occassions. She recevied similar response.

 

[geralt]

How would you respond to a girl saying "do you think this could be something more?"

context:
-been dating for just over a month
-you are both a little bit drunk and in bed
-you would like exclusivity with this girl

Also how would you respond if you are unsure if you want exclusivity?

 

[Lookatu]

How would you respond to a girl saying "do you think this could be something more?"

context:
-been dating for just over a month
-you are both a little bit drunk and in bed
-you would like exclusivity with this girl

Also how would you respond if you are unsure if you want exclusivity?

"Let's let time determine that."

It doesn't matter what you two want or think what you want but time is what makes things happen or keep people together.

You two probably just have that new relationship energy and things can easily go south or grow, the more you get to know each other and hang out together more. Just go with the flow.

 

[Clamslammer]

How would you respond to a girl saying "do you think this could be something more?"

context:
-been dating for just over a month
-you are both a little bit drunk and in bed
-you would like exclusivity with this girl

Also how would you respond if you are unsure if you want exclusivity?

Thats her way of asking you for exclusivity. Answer her question with a question...what do you mean?

If you ask her this she will open up eventually to you that she wants you long term...you either agree to it or disagree to it. Thus you are in the power position.

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

so what does it mean if after 2 dates (second one sexual) she tells you shes not talking to anyone else on the dating site you met on and prefers to focus on one person at a time and seeing where it goes? And "thats just how she feels. "
It kind of took me by surprise and i didnt really know what to say.
Seems like a subtle hint at locking me down without actually coming out and asking? My response should of been??

 

[Bigpapa]

so what does it mean if after 2 dates (second one sexual) she tells you shes not talking to anyone else on the dating site you met on and prefers to focus on one person at a time and seeing where it goes? And "thats just how she feels. "
It kind of took me by surprise and i didnt really know what to say.
Seems like a subtle hint at locking me down without actually coming out and asking? My response should of been??

Yes , this is her saying that she wants to be exclusive

your response depends on how much you like her obviously

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

guess it threw me saying that 2 dates in. Wasn't prepared for that.
I do like her tho so its not an issue for me. Was never really good at keeping numerous plates spinning anyways