It is all rather pathetic isn't it, I know what I need to do but it's hard to control myself. I let this girl destroy me emotionally. I try to put on a happy face and go out in public but last couple days I can't even do that i'm sure I look wrecked to other people. If this isn't rock bottom I don't know what is because I couldn't imagine feeling any worse. I'm a grown man and i've been crying lol it's ****ing pitiful.
Need some advice from someone outside the situation
- Thread starter Itsjustme
- Start date
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
":box:
see I know your type. you're a wallower. you wallow around feeling bad for yourself wtih your f#cking woe is me attitude, how you just have it so much worse than everyone else has it because things at times don't go your way
and i will tell you something else, make no mistake whatsoever the girl probably is completly bat**** crazy, but YOU do not take responsibility for anything. you can't do this she did thi i don't know what to do.l you drove her to let another dude ram it in her ass with your ***** like behavior. no one wants to date a testosterone deficient male,.
and i will tell you something else the girl doesn't give 2 ****s about you. she is probably at c0ck robbins rights ow trying out all 31 new flavors of it right now and emails you just for the simple fct that she knows beyond a shadow of a doubt if **** gets real bad you will put on the cape and come get her out of any shti she is in, so she isn't stupid enough to burn your brides with you but she doesn't like you. you are a captain safety net to her.
dude, grow up. take some responsibility for your own life. if you want to move on, move on. but don't come to this damn forum and tell us you can't or how hard it is do you know the dudes you are talking too lol?
crying over a bpd ****sluper man grab your balls out the fire and get yourself in order.;
1. you need to realize that even though the girl is crazy, you played a part in it all. you need to take responsibility for your actions. you talk about you like you are a third person who you have no control over. if you "give in" to talking to her just man up and say i want to talk to her dont' bring the i can't control myself bull**** here
2. why are you here? seriously? it's apprantly not to get better you aren't listening to anyone. every guy here for all intents and purposes have been through pretty much what you are going through now. yet you wno't listen to anyone here.
3. you need to read the DJ bible bad. do not talk to the girl or or text her again until you have read it cover to cover.
your girl is a hoe. there is no more basic way to put this than that. hoes don't know they are hoes lol. nbot like she's going to say yeah itsjustmet, i'm fighting this hoe bug i really feel like being a hoe right now but i know it's not right. she just gets the urge to do what she does and thats hoe. she likes to fvck guys.
and trust me youd on't want to be the hoes saftey net. that's the last thing you want. that' show you end up coming home one day 10 years from now and she's getting railed by 3 dudes and one of them pulls ag un on you lol. or at best despite every promise and token of effectionj she has given you in 10 years she files for divorce beucase she fell out of love and takes every last dime you have to your name in the process.
dude, don't take this the wrong way but grow the f#ck up. you are f#cking 41 years old. You are 5 years younger than my own motherItsjustme said:
see I know your type. you're a wallower. you wallow around feeling bad for yourself wtih your f#cking woe is me attitude, how you just have it so much worse than everyone else has it because things at times don't go your way
you can do whatever the f#uck you wanted to do if you wanted to do it bad enough. you sound like a bad justin timberlake single.
and i will tell you something else, make no mistake whatsoever the girl probably is completly bat**** crazy, but YOU do not take responsibility for anything. you can't do this she did thi i don't know what to do.l you drove her to let another dude ram it in her ass with your ***** like behavior. no one wants to date a testosterone deficient male,.
and i will tell you something else the girl doesn't give 2 ****s about you. she is probably at c0ck robbins rights ow trying out all 31 new flavors of it right now and emails you just for the simple fct that she knows beyond a shadow of a doubt if **** gets real bad you will put on the cape and come get her out of any shti she is in, so she isn't stupid enough to burn your brides with you but she doesn't like you. you are a captain safety net to her.
dude, grow up. take some responsibility for your own life. if you want to move on, move on. but don't come to this damn forum and tell us you can't or how hard it is do you know the dudes you are talking too lol?
crying over a bpd ****sluper man grab your balls out the fire and get yourself in order.;
1. you need to realize that even though the girl is crazy, you played a part in it all. you need to take responsibility for your actions. you talk about you like you are a third person who you have no control over. if you "give in" to talking to her just man up and say i want to talk to her dont' bring the i can't control myself bull**** here
2. why are you here? seriously? it's apprantly not to get better you aren't listening to anyone. every guy here for all intents and purposes have been through pretty much what you are going through now. yet you wno't listen to anyone here.
3. you need to read the DJ bible bad. do not talk to the girl or or text her again until you have read it cover to cover.
your girl is a hoe. there is no more basic way to put this than that. hoes don't know they are hoes lol. nbot like she's going to say yeah itsjustmet, i'm fighting this hoe bug i really feel like being a hoe right now but i know it's not right. she just gets the urge to do what she does and thats hoe. she likes to fvck guys.
and trust me youd on't want to be the hoes saftey net. that's the last thing you want. that' show you end up coming home one day 10 years from now and she's getting railed by 3 dudes and one of them pulls ag un on you lol. or at best despite every promise and token of effectionj she has given you in 10 years she files for divorce beucase she fell out of love and takes every last dime you have to your name in the process.
PrettyBoyAJ
Master Don Juan
I tell my friends this all the time
You can't stop weenyism. In this case it can't be stopped and it won't be stopped until he gets burned (in which he already did)
Learn from your past mistakes man. Good luck!
You can't stop weenyism. In this case it can't be stopped and it won't be stopped until he gets burned (in which he already did)
Learn from your past mistakes man. Good luck!
Your right i'm definitely a wallower. I don't think I was this way before. I definitely need to man up. Somehow throughout the last couple years, i've just become addicted to the emotions. It's better to feel bad than to feel nothing at all and with this girl I always either felt like the happiest person in the world or the saddest son of a ***** that ever existed.
The whole breakup make up cycles. I think I thrived on them myself the highs are higher than i've ever had and the lows are lower than i've ever had. This girl made me feel amazing but I would always push her away when things got complacent because I wanted to ride the rollercoaster again. I'm addicted to it, i'm addicted to her.
It's hard to let go of those feelings especially when she's willing to keep coming back into my life. When she texts me that she misses me, that she loves me, they're just constant reminders of how things used to be. I really thought things were going to be different this time and they were for about 6 months she was everything I could ask for but damn she left again. I think it hurts so much this time because I know now that I have to let her go because things can never be the same.
The whole breakup make up cycles. I think I thrived on them myself the highs are higher than i've ever had and the lows are lower than i've ever had. This girl made me feel amazing but I would always push her away when things got complacent because I wanted to ride the rollercoaster again. I'm addicted to it, i'm addicted to her.
It's hard to let go of those feelings especially when she's willing to keep coming back into my life. When she texts me that she misses me, that she loves me, they're just constant reminders of how things used to be. I really thought things were going to be different this time and they were for about 6 months she was everything I could ask for but damn she left again. I think it hurts so much this time because I know now that I have to let her go because things can never be the same.
Boilermaker
Master Don Juan
- Joined
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Don't let ex-drug addicts call your woman a "ho". Don't validate their half-baked guesses.
Try to remove the bad stuff from the good stuff and you will see there are actually well-intentioned, well-educated and well-rounded posters here.
Fundamentals, fundamentals and fundamentals...
Everything will be OK -- try to stick to this place.
The fact that you don't bow to some of these jockeys and do whatever you are told means you are a man.
Take as much time as you need, discover it yourself.
This site is just a guide, not the absolute truth - for nobody but you .. can know all the details of your specific situation.
Try to remove the bad stuff from the good stuff and you will see there are actually well-intentioned, well-educated and well-rounded posters here.
Fundamentals, fundamentals and fundamentals...
Everything will be OK -- try to stick to this place.
The fact that you don't bow to some of these jockeys and do whatever you are told means you are a man.
Take as much time as you need, discover it yourself.
This site is just a guide, not the absolute truth - for nobody but you .. can know all the details of your specific situation.
Keep postingItsjustme said:
What you are going through needs to be laid out in plain sight for others to learn from. This is the exact thing guys go through with bpd spaz chicks.
And yes while its aggravating as $hit at watching your progress, the bonds that tie you will unravel. You emotions being lead up and down is what has you hooked. You are addicted to the drama She will keep you bouncing around like this for the rest of your life if you let her. And I know if she came back at this moment you would take her back again.
You need to break focus and keep forcing your attention else where. The more you make a conscious effort the less you will feel bound to her. You are the only one that can decide to stop letting this affect you but you have to get up and take some form of action even if it just feels like going through the motions.
Kick a man when he's down, does that make you proud?
Day 2 the ***** left me, time to start seeing things for what they were. I don't know why she texts me, I guess she feels guilty but that's not my responsibility it's hers and it's not my job to comfort her anymore.
Thanks for the advice everyone.
Day 2 the ***** left me, time to start seeing things for what they were. I don't know why she texts me, I guess she feels guilty but that's not my responsibility it's hers and it's not my job to comfort her anymore.
Thanks for the advice everyone.
Day 3 Still feels like someone died, I think I'm gonna live though. Went to Hooters with one of my buddies last night didn't hit on any women but I did have a good time. Gotta stop focusing on this so much and just try to get on with my life. I was happy before I met her so I can certainly be happy afterwards.
Damned if I don't want to text her though, she called me passive aggressive quite often and I just looked up the definition, she was a psych major in college and holy **** she has me pegged to a T.
Damned if I don't want to text her though, she called me passive aggressive quite often and I just looked up the definition, she was a psych major in college and holy **** she has me pegged to a T.
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Get an app for your phone if it doesn't already have a blacklist. Right now you are letting your phone be your dealer of misery. You will end up being like a strung out junky waiting for an sms fix. You don't need to pick up chicks this early when you're not ready for it. Go back to something in your life you enjoyed doing.
Yea I guess we only truly broke up like this twice. The last time was for about 1.5 months and even though I got back with her I came back being a better man. I'll do it again and I'll be even better this time, just gotta do it without her.
Doing OK, broke NC of course one night was drunk off my ass, she was basically begging me to come over for "one last night of intimacy" or something like that. Eventually I got in my truck started to head over to her new place then turned around came back home she texted asking if I changed my mind I said yes. Then she called said all the right things and I went over there. We had sex and cuddled all night long neither one of us got any sleep.
At some point in the night she said baby you're shaking, are you nervous? Hell ****ing no I wasn't nervous I was detoxing from all the liquor I had been drinking the last few weeks just to get through the days and nights and be able to sleep. She had to work so she got up to leave around 6:30am I was stuck in the bed in no condition to drive. She had told me during the night to stay as long as I wanted, she left me a key to leave under the mat so I could lockup. I told her i'd leave in a couple hours just need to sleep this off, It didn't happen I was there most of the day in her bed just trying to function enough to be able to get in my truck and drive home.
She had no food so nothing to eat, couple cans of soda in her fridge and some yogurt. There was half a bottle of wine left from the night before at some point I decided to drink that to see if I was detoxing or what. It actually made me feel well enough to drive home, I was still in another place paranoid as **** to drive, cold sweats, dizzy, shaking but I could function. It was the lowest point of my life, laying in her bed at her place and not being able to leave. What have I done to myself?
It was at this point I realized how far I had fallen and was determined to fix myself. She wanted to come by the next night to take care of me. We had been talking via text because I didn't know wtf was going on with me at the time and she was worried that I needed to go to the hospital but I convinced her I was fine and just to go home. At this point I was determined to fix myself, no more drinking, threw all the liquor out and I caved letting her come over the next night. I had a bottle of wine for her, I drank grape juice out of a wine glass. Both of these nights were truly amazing between the sex and the talks we had, I felt myself falling into the trap again. Next few days were pure hell, cold sweats, shaking and delerious I was determined to get through this.
At some point I decided to lookup how to quit alcohol and learned that I was killing myself by trying to quit cold turkey so I went to the store and got some beer. Have been drinking beer since no more hard liquor and I feel fine, trying to wean myself off the beer so I can get through a day without drinking but i'm in a much better place than I was before.
From talking to her I realize alot of the problems were my own mostly due to the drinking but alot of the reason I was drinking so much was because of her. This girl drove me crazy. She texted me a couple days ago asking to come over but I declined. During the talks she admitted she had been having "Sexual haraasment fridays" at work and when I asked her about it. She proudly said oh it's not just Friday's it's everyday.. She admitted to "pinching" a guys ass in front of his boss/father said she doesn't like him but she liked to do it because it made him uncomfortable.. Seriously? WTF? Why have I been putting up with this ****?
She still texts me goodnight and thinking about you etc.. But I no longer respond. This whole relationship has been torture in the end. There were some great times that are sad to think about now because I wan't them back but damn i'm done with the torture.
I have no idea how many days NC but it doesn't matter because emotionally, I realize I need to move on and work on myself. It still hurts but in the end through all the torture, i'm determined to make myself a better person.
At some point in the night she said baby you're shaking, are you nervous? Hell ****ing no I wasn't nervous I was detoxing from all the liquor I had been drinking the last few weeks just to get through the days and nights and be able to sleep. She had to work so she got up to leave around 6:30am I was stuck in the bed in no condition to drive. She had told me during the night to stay as long as I wanted, she left me a key to leave under the mat so I could lockup. I told her i'd leave in a couple hours just need to sleep this off, It didn't happen I was there most of the day in her bed just trying to function enough to be able to get in my truck and drive home.
She had no food so nothing to eat, couple cans of soda in her fridge and some yogurt. There was half a bottle of wine left from the night before at some point I decided to drink that to see if I was detoxing or what. It actually made me feel well enough to drive home, I was still in another place paranoid as **** to drive, cold sweats, dizzy, shaking but I could function. It was the lowest point of my life, laying in her bed at her place and not being able to leave. What have I done to myself?
It was at this point I realized how far I had fallen and was determined to fix myself. She wanted to come by the next night to take care of me. We had been talking via text because I didn't know wtf was going on with me at the time and she was worried that I needed to go to the hospital but I convinced her I was fine and just to go home. At this point I was determined to fix myself, no more drinking, threw all the liquor out and I caved letting her come over the next night. I had a bottle of wine for her, I drank grape juice out of a wine glass. Both of these nights were truly amazing between the sex and the talks we had, I felt myself falling into the trap again. Next few days were pure hell, cold sweats, shaking and delerious I was determined to get through this.
At some point I decided to lookup how to quit alcohol and learned that I was killing myself by trying to quit cold turkey so I went to the store and got some beer. Have been drinking beer since no more hard liquor and I feel fine, trying to wean myself off the beer so I can get through a day without drinking but i'm in a much better place than I was before.
From talking to her I realize alot of the problems were my own mostly due to the drinking but alot of the reason I was drinking so much was because of her. This girl drove me crazy. She texted me a couple days ago asking to come over but I declined. During the talks she admitted she had been having "Sexual haraasment fridays" at work and when I asked her about it. She proudly said oh it's not just Friday's it's everyday.. She admitted to "pinching" a guys ass in front of his boss/father said she doesn't like him but she liked to do it because it made him uncomfortable.. Seriously? WTF? Why have I been putting up with this ****?
She still texts me goodnight and thinking about you etc.. But I no longer respond. This whole relationship has been torture in the end. There were some great times that are sad to think about now because I wan't them back but damn i'm done with the torture.
I have no idea how many days NC but it doesn't matter because emotionally, I realize I need to move on and work on myself. It still hurts but in the end through all the torture, i'm determined to make myself a better person.
The only thing holding me back at this point is why she always tries to get back togethor? I mean I truly thought this was done and over when she got her own place. That she had moved on, I knew I was gonna suffer through some pain but once again she came back, it started off as "one last night togethor" and then over just a few days started turning into a relationship all over again. After that first night she started texting me all day long just like things used to be and that she wanted to work things out and I just felt uncomfortable, like how can things go back to normal after all this? She left and got her own friggin place.
I had told her at some point during this to go fix herself go see other people, **** other dudes etc.. that she surely couldn't "fix herself" while I was still around so I had to leave. The second time she came over she told me she went out and had guys hitting on her but all she could do was talk about me, she told them I told her to go out and see other guys but that she didn't want to. Of course she still gave her number to them.. Said only one called and she talked to him once but now she doesn't answer his calls.
She proposed a monogamous relationship where she stays over here 3 times a week and I stay over at her place sometimes as well, it was tempting but I never said yes. She then gave me an ultimatum that I had 48hours to decide and that if she didn't hear from me by then that she would respect my decision and leave me alone, she heard from me because she kept texting me all day long but eventually I just had to tell her straight up this "sexual harrasment" thing turns my stomach and I couldn't be with her anymore.
It's just weird she says she wants to have a healthy trusting relationship which I understand, I was an ******* to her on many accounts but it was mostly of her own doing, she's an attention ***** for sure and it drove me crazy. She seems to think she can fix herself (The attention ***** stuff) while still having a relationship with me. I don't think she's actually ****ed anybody else, she said she just likes the attention and she flirts and does innapropriate things but the furthest it ever goes is a kiss on the cheek or a hug etc.. never sex. I believe her but I do think she was thinking about it and that's why she left.
Anyway it's over, theres no chance to work this thing out, staying with her is just going to drive me crazy because there's even less trust now that she left but I needed to vent. It helps.
P.S. She also wanted to go get white ribbons tattooed on our ring fingers and at one point said let's go concieve during her second visit, she was drunk but still... lol wtf. I don't get it.
I had told her at some point during this to go fix herself go see other people, **** other dudes etc.. that she surely couldn't "fix herself" while I was still around so I had to leave. The second time she came over she told me she went out and had guys hitting on her but all she could do was talk about me, she told them I told her to go out and see other guys but that she didn't want to. Of course she still gave her number to them.. Said only one called and she talked to him once but now she doesn't answer his calls.
She proposed a monogamous relationship where she stays over here 3 times a week and I stay over at her place sometimes as well, it was tempting but I never said yes. She then gave me an ultimatum that I had 48hours to decide and that if she didn't hear from me by then that she would respect my decision and leave me alone, she heard from me because she kept texting me all day long but eventually I just had to tell her straight up this "sexual harrasment" thing turns my stomach and I couldn't be with her anymore.
It's just weird she says she wants to have a healthy trusting relationship which I understand, I was an ******* to her on many accounts but it was mostly of her own doing, she's an attention ***** for sure and it drove me crazy. She seems to think she can fix herself (The attention ***** stuff) while still having a relationship with me. I don't think she's actually ****ed anybody else, she said she just likes the attention and she flirts and does innapropriate things but the furthest it ever goes is a kiss on the cheek or a hug etc.. never sex. I believe her but I do think she was thinking about it and that's why she left.
Anyway it's over, theres no chance to work this thing out, staying with her is just going to drive me crazy because there's even less trust now that she left but I needed to vent. It helps.
P.S. She also wanted to go get white ribbons tattooed on our ring fingers and at one point said let's go concieve during her second visit, she was drunk but still... lol wtf. I don't get it.
scrouds
Master Don Juan
The only thing holding yourself back is yourself. Take that to heart my friend.
It's true, I feel like i'm doing pretty good though, concentrating on other things, got my drinking under control. I still haven't gone a day without drinking but i've managed to make it through the day with only a couple beers so i'm pretty close and I have no urge to go for the hard liquor anymore. Next I want to quit smoking..
I'm freelance so I work with different people all the time, fortunately the project me and the ex were working on is over so I don't have to see her every day anymore. Did another job thurs-fri and had a girl hitting on me, didn't get her number just not ready yet but she even so much as walked me to my truck when I was leaving. There will be plenty more opportunities i'm sure but I do still wonder about some things.
I'm freelance so I work with different people all the time, fortunately the project me and the ex were working on is over so I don't have to see her every day anymore. Did another job thurs-fri and had a girl hitting on me, didn't get her number just not ready yet but she even so much as walked me to my truck when I was leaving. There will be plenty more opportunities i'm sure but I do still wonder about some things.
Day 5? 6? Meh who cares i'm not doing this no contact thing, it's the cowards way. I'm not gonna contact her but if she contacts me with something other than "night" or "thinking of you" i'll respond. My sadness is turning to anger but I have brief moments of enlightenment. I have a nice house, a good job, a new truck and a healthy bank account. I'm not rich but as long as I keep working I don't have much to worry about. I have a lot to work on (Jealousy/Insecurity/Self confidence) but i'm a catch. I'm a good person, i'm not a player, i'm just looking for a partner so hard that i built her up in my mind to be the ideal person for me when in all reality so much was wrong with this relationship and the way she treated me. I put up with it because I built her up to be everything I always wanted ignoring all the red flags along the way because it was easy she approached me, she did all the work and everything just fell into place.
But all good things come to an end! I gained alot of experience from this, for that i'm grateful. The only one that's been doing the torture is me by subjecting myself to this and allowing it to go on for so long. By sacrificing my standards just to be with her I have been compromising myself. You all tried to tell me this but i'm stubborn, hey, what can I say, I have to figure things out for myself even if it means inflicting terrible pain. At least this way I know because i've been through it and I don't have to wonder if that person that gave me advice was right or wrong. I did it my way and it didn't work..I failed!
Thanks for all the support fellas, What's that saying? The world is my oyster!
I doubt i'm in the clear yet but i'll get there.
But all good things come to an end! I gained alot of experience from this, for that i'm grateful. The only one that's been doing the torture is me by subjecting myself to this and allowing it to go on for so long. By sacrificing my standards just to be with her I have been compromising myself. You all tried to tell me this but i'm stubborn, hey, what can I say, I have to figure things out for myself even if it means inflicting terrible pain. At least this way I know because i've been through it and I don't have to wonder if that person that gave me advice was right or wrong. I did it my way and it didn't work..I failed!
Thanks for all the support fellas, What's that saying? The world is my oyster!
I doubt i'm in the clear yet but i'll get there.
She texted me last night and we talked for a bit. She said something that really made me think about things. Said that she was talking to her girlfriend earlier and told her that she felt like she tricked me into loving her because she doesn't know if I know her like I think I do.
We talked about some other things like her hiding **** from me she said she was afraid to tell me some things because I couldn't handle it but when I ask her about it it's just harmless flirting. It's kind of like because the communication isn't there I always think she's doing some horrible thing but that's what she does to me..
You see that "she doesn't know if I know her like I think I do" and then follows it up with she's never ****ed anyone else she just flirts to feel good about herself. It's a contradiction, it's like she puts this **** out there to make me wonder and then criticizes me for doing it. How could I not wonder when she says something like that?
Anyway it seems like she's on board with the no contact thing, says she loves the random texting but it hurts her too much, apologized for texting me etc..
I should probably block her but my curiousity gets the best of me, it's like with every text I get another piece to the puzzle but I don't think i'll ever figure it out was it me? My jealousy, my insecurities? Or is she just friggin purposely driving me crazy? If I only knew the answers this would be so much easier to deal with lol
Yea i'm still hurting but i'm not going back don't worry. Just trying to figure things out so that if it is my fault I don't make the same mistakes in the future.
We talked about some other things like her hiding **** from me she said she was afraid to tell me some things because I couldn't handle it but when I ask her about it it's just harmless flirting. It's kind of like because the communication isn't there I always think she's doing some horrible thing but that's what she does to me..
You see that "she doesn't know if I know her like I think I do" and then follows it up with she's never ****ed anyone else she just flirts to feel good about herself. It's a contradiction, it's like she puts this **** out there to make me wonder and then criticizes me for doing it. How could I not wonder when she says something like that?
Anyway it seems like she's on board with the no contact thing, says she loves the random texting but it hurts her too much, apologized for texting me etc..
I should probably block her but my curiousity gets the best of me, it's like with every text I get another piece to the puzzle but I don't think i'll ever figure it out was it me? My jealousy, my insecurities? Or is she just friggin purposely driving me crazy? If I only knew the answers this would be so much easier to deal with lol
Yea i'm still hurting but i'm not going back don't worry. Just trying to figure things out so that if it is my fault I don't make the same mistakes in the future.
Good call Brad, i'm doing much better with that. Threw out all the hard liquor. I only have beer or wine now so for the most part it's under control. I'm doing much better but I do still need to get through a day without drinking and get it out of my system. Even just a couple beers during the day, is still drinking..
SecondHalf
Master Don Juan
Itsjustme,
I've only just read this last page of this very long thread (will read the rest this weekend), but noticed bradd80's advice and it speaks volumes to the threads content.
I can't encourage you enough to not drink at all to help you deal.
A rule I adopted and works well for me, is only drink for social fun.
It's not a medication ... ever!
Beer / wine can be just as nasty as liquor!
Exercise! Just push yourself, it's the best therapy.
Take yoga, watch the stretchy chicks!
SH
I've only just read this last page of this very long thread (will read the rest this weekend), but noticed bradd80's advice and it speaks volumes to the threads content.
I can't encourage you enough to not drink at all to help you deal.
A rule I adopted and works well for me, is only drink for social fun.
It's not a medication ... ever!
Beer / wine can be just as nasty as liquor!
Exercise! Just push yourself, it's the best therapy.
Take yoga, watch the stretchy chicks!
SH
I owe everyone here a great deal of gratitude, it is through your eyes that i've been able to see things for what they are. Here's the thing though and this was always the catch. It's like Boilermaker said nobody knows your situation better than yourself so sometimes you gotta do things on your own.
We're still talking, she's been over a couple times, we've had amazing sex and I still love her to death but there's a disconnect there now. It's different once you see things for what they really are. Once you notice the difference between what she's saying and what she's actually doing. I think she is HPD but I don't know and i'm not gonna fault her for that. It doesn't make her a bad person, a *****, a ***** etc.
I'm responsible for myself not her and I chose to put myself through this so there's nobody to blame but myself but you know what i'm glad I did, I learned a lot and I still have a lot of love to give to whomever chooses to recieve it, including her.
I'm in a much better place now, I was a desperate chump before, worried about her every move. Trying to secure our relationship. Jealousy, insecurities, possesiveness they all ran the gamut but in the end none of it matters.
Let them go, if they don't want to be in your life you're never gonna make them and there's a certain freedom in knowing someone still chooses to be with you once you set them free.
Hopefully I find plenty more that choose to be with me!
Cheers Gentlemen, Thank you for all the advice.
We're still talking, she's been over a couple times, we've had amazing sex and I still love her to death but there's a disconnect there now. It's different once you see things for what they really are. Once you notice the difference between what she's saying and what she's actually doing. I think she is HPD but I don't know and i'm not gonna fault her for that. It doesn't make her a bad person, a *****, a ***** etc.
I'm responsible for myself not her and I chose to put myself through this so there's nobody to blame but myself but you know what i'm glad I did, I learned a lot and I still have a lot of love to give to whomever chooses to recieve it, including her.
I'm in a much better place now, I was a desperate chump before, worried about her every move. Trying to secure our relationship. Jealousy, insecurities, possesiveness they all ran the gamut but in the end none of it matters.
Let them go, if they don't want to be in your life you're never gonna make them and there's a certain freedom in knowing someone still chooses to be with you once you set them free.
Hopefully I find plenty more that choose to be with me!
Cheers Gentlemen, Thank you for all the advice.
B
BeDJ
Guest
Itsjustme-
I was lucky enough to go through what you are right now at a younger age. The whole desperation, delusion, insecurity...even right down to the heavy drinking. I would go through half a fifth and sometimes the whole in one night. 80 proof since they have no carbs and I was on Keto. Get off work at 5, go to the gym, sometimes basketball after and then hit the bottle. Everyday - until just a few months ago. Finding out that your body burns alcohol even before the carbs did it for me lol. I drink about once a week now, never alone.
I picked up some hobbies I could do after work and on weekends. In the beginning I would rearrange my after-work schedule to fill up my time. May I suggest golf, salsa =), photography, fishing, even basketball? Meetup.com is a good way to get out there and meet new people as well.
Take care of yourself - physically, mentally and emotionally.
I was lucky enough to go through what you are right now at a younger age. The whole desperation, delusion, insecurity...even right down to the heavy drinking. I would go through half a fifth and sometimes the whole in one night. 80 proof since they have no carbs and I was on Keto. Get off work at 5, go to the gym, sometimes basketball after and then hit the bottle. Everyday - until just a few months ago. Finding out that your body burns alcohol even before the carbs did it for me lol. I drink about once a week now, never alone.
I picked up some hobbies I could do after work and on weekends. In the beginning I would rearrange my after-work schedule to fill up my time. May I suggest golf, salsa =), photography, fishing, even basketball? Meetup.com is a good way to get out there and meet new people as well.
Take care of yourself - physically, mentally and emotionally.
