My self-improvement program

[snowdog]

Alright, last night. I went out with a buddy of mine, doing some barhopping. The first couple bars were filled with dudes only. The third one however, there were some chicks. What we didn't knew, this was a party for some study club. Like almost everyone who was there studied history in this city.

When we walked in, some pretty fine hottie started dancing with her ass towards me. That's cool, she picked me out of all those guys to do that. I was a little akward, because I'm still not comfortable in the dancing department, unless I'm insanely drunk. I was like, "what are you doing?". She litterally said to me: "I want to dance with my ass into your crotch". I got more akward then, because, like i said, I don't know how to dance. I just stood there, looking stupid. One the one hand it was really funny, on the other it sucked because, you know... I didn't have her ass in my crotch. Then I went to get a beer. When I came back we talked a little. Kino went automaticly. She wasn't that interesting so I proceeded to talk and chill with my buddy a little.

Then I started talking with this tall girl. Although she had a nice figure, her face wasn't that great. Oh well. The conversation went natural, and I clearly generated some interest towards me in her. She got those big pupils and kino'ed me a lot too. Laughed at all my jokes as well. A bunch of guys were standing around us. I could tell they wanted to talk to her, and they were frustrated that I just did that and they didn't.

She had a friend, and she was easily the hottest chick in the bar. She was surrounded by guys all the time. At one point she walked by by accident and I just tackled her. Started a conversation. It went like this:

Me: So, you're also studying history?
Her: Yea, you don't?
Me: No, I'm just here, you know, to drink some beer. I didn't knew about this sh*t.
Her: (laughing) hahaha, oh really? What do you do then?
Me: I'm doing communication, 1st year.

(some random chat about the study, not interesting)

(a couple minutes later in the conversation)
Me: So you're doing history huh? First year?
Her: Yea, I do
Me: Well, you're kinda seperated from the rest of the girls here
Her: Oh really? Why is that?
Me: You're easily the most pretty girl in this entire bar
Her: And you are the biggest slime in the world
Me: No really, I mean it.
Her: Oh shut up you.
Me: Alright, have it your way. You're the ugliest b7tch I've seen all night.
Her: *gasp*

She then smacked me in the face

Me: ...

She was shocked by what she did right after she did it. I just started laughing

Me: Haha, I can't believe what you just did.
Her: Ohh I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hit you that hard
Me: It don't matter, I deserved it haha. You don't know what you want, you know that?
Her: haha oh i'm so sorry

After that the conversation went even better. She clearly started to like me more. At one point we got to music and I told her I play the electric guitar. She fooled me into believing that she was a drummer. We laughed a lot. This girl was fun.

Then my dumbass buddy pulled me aside. Within a second I wasn't talking to her anymore, this guy, who was like 28 or something, started talking with her. I reacted like "what the f*ck man?" to my buddy. I just talked a bit, but from the corner of my eye I saw that this guy was all over her. He knew what he was doing. Really agressive kino all the time. She didn't really like it at first, but because he was agressive, she went along with it. Then I just had enough of it. I pulled her aside from the guy. They were in the middle of a conversation, but I didn't care. I just did it haha.

Me: Look, we're leaving. I want your phone number, I want to hang out with you some more in the future.
Her: But I just gave my number away to that guy (pointing to the older guy), I don't give my number twice on an evening.
Me: Come on, you owe me that much. You smacked me in the face remember?
Her: Really, I don't do that. But, I'll give you my myspace adress.
Me: Ok, sure.
Her: (gives me the adress), do add me huh?
Me: Will do (wink)

I didn't kiss her goodbye. I realize I should had, but f*ck it.

When I got home I added her right away to my friends list. The next day she sent me a message. Message history:

Her: Hey handsome guitar player. Next party have another drink?
Me: Hey hottest chick in the bar That sounds good, but you really wanna wait till the next study party?
Her: Haha. Just tell me your next performance, maybe we'll come looking so I still see you before the next party
Me: Hey come on. That'll take at least a month. By that time, we probably already forgot each other. How bout next tuesday. My school's having a holiday anyway


And that's the last one. Haven't got much reply from the other chick from myspace, but she's not on that much; matter of time. The super hot chick didn't text me back, so I dropped her a message at myspace. I posted this YouTube linky of this extremely cheesy song that goes like (have you got some time for me, make some time for me free). If she don't think that's funny, seriously, she can go f*ck herself (that's a good image to keep in mind by the way)


Like I said, It's getting better and better. I'm really starting to get the hang of it guys!

 

[snowdog]

Updated last post.

 

[snowdog]

Thanks man. I dunno. He just tapped me on the shoulder and he looked like he wanted to tell me something important. It sucked.

 

[snowdog]

The girl I met in that bar I was talking about....

Takin her on a date tomorrow

 

[snowdog]

So, the date!

I was waiting for her outside. Minutes passed.... she was either late or not showing up at all. In the mean time I had some eye contact with one of the waitresses of the cafe. She was blonde and looked great. We exchanged some nice smiles. Then she showed up.

She looked good, although not as good as I rememberred. Remember, I was semi-drunk when I met her. We talked a bit. The conversation went easy. I conquered every silence that would be akward. When there was a silence, I broke through it within a second. It went great.

We were sitting inside, and I really sucked her into my stories. She listened, and I saw her pupils dillating at some point, leaning over closer to me too. At one point she told me she was a christian. Oh boy.... She told me her brother just got married at the age 22. Her favorite bands were some christian bands. At that point we kinda disconnected. I didn't kino as much as I use to do lately, partly because of the religion part made me uncomfortable. You see, I'm a science kinda guy. I believe something when it's proven, not when it's told in some story about some dude who created the universe or something. Infact I believe religion has brought us nothing but trouble and useless bloodshed. Look what happened on 9/11 for example, or what about the crusades hundreds of years ago. Still, I managed to steer around this discussion.

At one point I had to take a piss. They had these metal toilets and loo's, just like in jail (I once spent a night in the drunk tank, don't ask). As I walked past the hot waitress I said:
"Nice jail toilets you got here".
-"What do you mean?"
"They're all metal and sh*t. Just like in jail."
-"Oh, I wouldn't know. I only visit the lady's room"
"Alright, next time I'll take that one instead. I'll take your word for it that it's more cozy"

It was awesome. She found it really really funny. I was flirting with a hot waitress while I was on a date with a pretty hot chick. Still can't believe that sh*t.

Back to the date. She didn't notice that little exchange, which was good. We talked about all kinds of stuff. She said she thought I was probably a womanizer. I told her I just like to enjoy life; which is nothing but the truth. Really, I was funny, sarcastic, witty... all that stuff. I busted her balls, I made fun of her every now and then... And I noticed it worked. As time progressed, she became more into me.

We seperated in the parking garage where both our cars were parked. We kissed each other on the cheeks, the formal way, you know. And then I kissed her on the lips. It was cool, you know; again, I just went for it. She clearly didn't want to go further then that though. Still, it made me feel good about myself.

I don't think we'll meet again though. That religion sh*t isn't working for me.


I can keep saying it guys! I'm definitely getting there.

 

[snowdog]

Gj with the kiss... come to think of it that's a good idea to get the kiss in, you kiss her on the cheek, because that's minor, nothing extreme, then after, since you're already kissing on the cheek she won't think of it as bad if you just move in for the lips cuz you're already there. How do you break awkward silences by the way? I need to know for myself; presently what I do is I use Neil Stauss's idea, which is to state a snapple cap fun fact, because it's funny to say out of nowhere and they're random and interesting. Just when there's a silence be like "did you know if you chew gum while cutting an onion it makes it so you don't cry?", stuff like that.

To be honest I'm not really aware of any tactics. That Neil Straus stuff sounds good (I've read that book "The Game" of his, as well as the Motley Crue biography, which is hilarious). But really, those are just tricks that worked for that guy. You gotta find your own way of dealing with it. I just jump to another topic. You know, the weather, something I've read in the paper, stuff like that. Many news sites have a special section for weird news. I always read through those as well. It's fun, and it's something interesting to talk about. Plus I like to talk about interesting stuff that happened to me in real life. A few weeks ago some guy punched me in the face out of the blue for no reason when I was in some bar. That story is funny and shocking, and it's great to tell someone. Believe me, I tried many of the tactics from those dating books. Like canned openers and stories... seriously, f*ck that sh*t. You gotta find your own way. It's the only way. What works for Neil Strauss works for Neil Strauss. But you aren't Neil Strauss. You're your unique self. Find your own way through experimenting and trying.

Also when you told someone on here that psychotherapy is a good idea if you have lots of lost memories in your life, I was wondering if the memory loss was from the weed. Would you strongly suggest for anyone who smokes weed to stop smoking immediately for that reason? Thanks; I am your biggest fan btw, seriously you have the best FR's, you don't waste any time and go straight to the important stuff.

I don't have lost memories because of weed smoking. That weed smoking causes lost memories is a fairy tale. The psychotherapy doesn't have anything to do anything with that. I just had a bit of a f*cked up childhood, which started in elementry school. At a very young age I went trough some traumatic sh*t that haunted me my entire childhood. I'm slowly starting to find myself after all those years. And it's heavy sh*t man... but enough about that.

The reason I started and quit smoking weed has nothing to do with that part of my life, at all. I started kinda automaticly because everyone around me were doing it all the time.

These are some reasons why I stopped:

• All you care about is getting high when you're chronically smoking it. I've almost lost some of my very best friends because of it. Guys I trusted with everything, guys I would catch a bullet for. When I looked into their eyes all I could see was a desire for some pot, to get high. They really didn't care about their best friends at that point. You don't see this because this happens slowly, and I was guilty of it myself. Luckily I noticed this in time, and the good ones of my friends as well. We're doing something with our lives, like getting educated. Don't get me wrong though, we still like to party. Sh*t, I'm severely drunk at least twice a week. The other part of that group is still getting high every day; and that's all they do. I haven't seen some of them in like a year. And we used to hang out almost every day, smoking. From the day I stopped smoking, I didn't see them once anymore. Some friendships huh?
• I've seen people ruining their future because of it. One guy I know is f*cking brilliant. He was starting a study on laboratory research. He quit it. Then he started doing physiotherapy, still a beautiful study. He quit it. Now he took a simple desk job at a bank that requires no education. It's a job you can do without much thinking, it's a relaxed job, and it's a job that makes you money, which can buy you pot, a car and stuff like that. No offense there, but that guy just threw his only chance of getting a proper education away because he'd rather get high every day.
• Another guy started doing study at a university. Same story as above. Because all he cared about was getting high, he now does a course for learning how to fix motorcycles. No offence again, but seriously. You get my point. These guys are smart enough to get a good education, but they just don't care.
• Plus, less energy, less productivity, less activity, less libido (hell yea! Believe me you'll notice that when you quit. You'll notice it within a week, and how!).

I smoked weed on a daily basis between 17-20, so I know what I'm talking about. It seems harmless, but that's exactly the danger of it. Because it happens so gradually, you don't notice how much it f*cks up your life. Smoke a spliff once in a while (like 4-5 times a YEAR) don't do much harm. But if you're doing it several times a month, watch out. If you do it every week, please do something about it, because it won't be long before you start doing it every day.

Plus, parties suck when everyone gets high, man. You can tell. Everyone sits dead and sleepy on a couch around 2AM. When people only drink, it's a f*ckin' PARTY at 2AM. Sh*t gets wrecked, people yell and dance, people get laid.

Thanks; I am your biggest fan btw, seriously you have the best FR's, you don't waste any time and go straight to the important stuff. Peace.

Seriously, thanks man. That means a lot to me, and I do mean that. I'm writing this thing since forever man, and it really brings a lot of joy to me when people respond to it.

If you have any questions, advice or comments, please post them. I'm always really happy with it.

10.224

 

[snowdog]

Alright. It's been a while. Not much happened lately and I'll tell you why.

The last few sessions with my therapist were a bit heavy. My head's just so full with all sorts of sh*t that I have to deal with first. I'm seriously facing stuff that scares the sh*t out of me. I have a hard time to accept ceirtan things and to deal with them. It costs a lot of energy.

One of the reasons why I'm so bad with girls is that I've basically conditioned myself to evade rejection in every way possible. This is because of some sh*t that happened when I was a little kid. We're fixing that now.

When I meet a girl, I get really far you know? But when I get to the point of the kiss or number, I just f*ck up or get scared most of the time. This is because my subconcience steps on the breaks.

Yea, I'm getting there. But I'm still underway. When I battled my deamons, I am sure it will also reflect on my success with girls. I'm already doing so much better then a year ago.


And for the reas.... not really that interesting to be honest:
The one hot girl in my class and me are good friends, and not in that bad way. She has a boyfriend, but we're teasing each other all the time. We have great fun... kino back and forth... it's great. If she wasn't taken, I wouldn't be suprised we could go out on a date. I can tell she likes me.

The really hot chick that I've been calling 'the 11' for weeks, well... she just ignores me when I try to make a move. I've asked her out a bunch of times now, and every time she had some excuse of just ignored me. So I decided to stop trying that. We say friendly hi when we see each other, and I'm not uncomfortable at all with that. When I'll get the opportunity I'll chat with her some more.



I'll update again when I get something that's worth reading. So if it's quiet for a while, don't worry... I'll be back :yes:

10,435

 

[snowdog]

Turned 22 this week. Just read through the first few pages of this journal. I've come a long way.

I'm quite happy with where I am at the moment compared to where I was two years ago. Like I said before, I'm definitely getting there.

 

[snowdog]

Haha thanks man.

Just went to a bar today with a bunch of mates. Nothing special really. It was the same bar where I got the date a couple weeks earlier. Cool thing was, that the hot bar girl was there too again. I flirted a bit with her again, and when I was about to leave, I just started talking to her:

Me: Hey, you. You remember me?
Her: No, not really
Me: I was here on a date a couple of weeks ago you remember?
Her: No, still can't remember haha...?
Me: Well, lemme tell you. We talked a bit then, really short. But those twenty or so seconds we talked was more interesting then the date that lasted like, 2 hours.
Her: (laughing) well that had to be a pretty lousy date then
Me: Or you're just a lot of fun. There's two ways to see things ya know?
Her: (laughing some more)
Me: So how about it? Wanna date some time?
Her: Oh I have a boyfriend, so i guess no....
Me: Oh well, see it as a compliment then. I'll see you around girl.

And then I just walked away, feeling great. She was hot, oh boy was she hot. Great ass, great tits... good face, and she seemed fun.


But guys, even though I was a bit tipsy, this conversation went so natural. It went smooth ya know? I didn't feel nervous at all. I just was myself and I didn't gave a sh#t about wether she would accept the offer or not. It was good sh#t man. Like I said before, I'm past the part were I'm afraid to approach chicks. I'm just doing that right now. And it feels great.

 

[russell]

this is a great thread. i like your style.

 

[snowdog]

Thanks guys. I really appreciate it.


I'm in the closing parts of therapy at the moment, and I've never felt so good. I'm more relaxed, confident and more myself. It's great. But enough about that.

Yesterday I had a live show with my band. It went great. It was in a bar. The girl behind the bar was a hottie. She had brown hair, but had dyed half of it blonde. Beautiful blue eyes, a cute smile on her face, and a really good figure (Her figure was really good. It almost was like she was Photoshopped or something, lol). Really the kind of girl I fall for.

From the moment I saw her, I flirted really hard with her. I used kino, and she did it back. We made jokes, and she seemed into me as well. Conversation went completely natural. Just a little example. Our band was next to play, so we started to set things up. I had bought a new cable that had a zip-tie around it. I stood at the side of the bar and waved to get her attention.

Her: Oh you can come over here, I'm not gonna bite you (showing her teeth. I thought that was sexy)
Me: Oh really? Well can you bite through this maybe (showing her the zip-tied cable)

She thought it was funny. It was great. I really started to like this girl. She was totally a hottie, but I liked her because she was so much fun.

Then the show, it was awesome. We felt like rock stars in front of our 50-person audience. It went great and we got a lot of compliments from people.

Afterwards I started to drink. I already had a couple of beers and a 3-double whiskey during our show. I had a couple beers more, plus a shot of tequila. I got a bit tipsy, but I contained myself from getting trashed as usual. I could still talk properly without making a fool of myself.

When we're about to leave I walked up to the girl. The conversation went like this:

Me: So we're leaving. I didn't even got your name
Her: My name is *Angie*
Me: Well *Angie*, I think I like you. I would like to go out with you some time.
Her: Oh... damn, well I think my boyfriend wouldn't like that.
Me: Ah, that's too bad. Really too bad.
Her: Yea... (she smiles and looks me in the eye)
Me: Oh well, can't blame a guy for trying you know?
Her: That's true.
Me: Well thanks for everything, and I'll see you around


We did the formal cheek-kissing goodbye. And I started to pack my sh*t. Me and the guys hung around outside for half an hour or so when I realized I forgot my coat. So I went back in there and got it. We saw each other again once I walked out again and I smiled and winked to her. She smiled back.


Although it really sucks that she was already taken, I have never done so well with any girl. We connected, and I really didn't have to force anything. It went so automaticly, so natural. It all felt so right.

This has to do with the fact that I'm slowly becoming myself again. I'm slowly figuring out who I really am and acting like it. It feels really good to truly say what you want, knowing that it comes from yourself, instead of pretending you're cooler or different then who you really are.

I've said it before guys, I'm getting there. And I'm closer then ever.



11,043

 

[snowdog]

Two little stories. Not that noteworthy, but funny enough to mention.

Story 1
At the subway there was this new coffee place opening. They gave coffee away for free to everyone, and you'd get it in a personalized cup with your name on it. They ask for your name, they print it, and a minute later you get your free coffee in your name-branded cup. I was standing in line sorta behind/beside this chick. She looked really serious (as in no fun), with glasses with those thick-frames. She looked like a law chick who was about to send someone away for life. Totally not the girl I'm interested in, but it just happened. She was first and hesitated because I kinda stood next to her. I made a friendly gesture it was her turn. She told her name (Katya) to the coffee people.

I said: "Well Katya, if you're standing in line, you should take your turn when the time is there"
She said kinda offended something like "But I WAS standing in line."

She didn't think it was funny. I thought it was very funny, and so did a couple of people behind us. She looked pissed after that. I didn't care, it was funny enough. Besides that, why I'm posting this? I think it shows that I'm getting more assertive and comfortable talking to random people I don't know, and I thought it was pretty witty. It was not planned at all, and I didn't hesitate for a sec with my little sarcastic/ironic comment.


Story 2
In class today we had this female teacher. I always thought she was late in her thirty's. Of course, too old for me, but she looks pretty good for her age. At one point during the lesson somehow the subject changed to her age, don't ask me how. A girl in my class said she thought she was forty or something. She said "No, I'm thirty-six.". She looked hurt. A girl, no matter how old she is, never likes that sh*t about people thinking she's older. It was the last class before the holiday. As I walked out and wished her a good holiday, I added after: "And don't worry. I wouldn't think you're forty". I said it with a genuine smile. She loved it and turned red! I don't know why I did it. I just had it in my head and you know, I did it. At least I seem to know how to handle older women, haha.

11,231

 

[Tenzen]

This threads really good dunno how i missed it. Congrats snowdog your doing very good. There's a few things i wanna point out. First don't shoot yourself in the foot when a girl has a boyfriend she may still part with her number, shes not married that means shes not taken. I'm against stealing girlfriends but keep that bridge alive by getting her number, just in case something doesn't work out and she becomes single your first in line .

Her: Oh you can come over here, I'm not gonna bite you (showing her teeth. I thought that was sexy)
Me: Oh really? Well can you bite through this maybe (showing her the zip-tied cable)

Good job on that one, lol

Another thing is with that one girl slapping you, you validated her from the start. Prettiest girl in the bar? wtf... i would never say that, tell her "your beautiful, but beauty is common what else do you have going for you?" Thats mysterys line i thought it was good. You did get a date, a slap, a kiss, and u got shot down. Whats with the religion thing? Who cares what they believe in or what you believe in, it doesn't matter are you getting married to her? prolly not? so don't even bring up religion or even politics whenever you speak with women. Keep us updated, and get those numbers if those girls have boyfriends!

 

[snowdog]

Man this pisses me off. Tell me WHY do girls automatically reject a guy when he says that he likes her? Do they not realize that this guy can still be the total sh!it? It makes no sense... fvuck girls in general for this reason; they're idiots, even though that one girl sounded totally awesome.

Yea man... tell me about it, I know, story of my life etc....

There was a spark between us there, though. It was obvious and I felt it. That sh*t don't happen often to me.

The other 2 stories are good too. I especially love how the 36 year old woman turned red. I'd think with her age, she would just turn into mature mode and say thank you to that comment, but she is still a little girl in the sense that little compliments like that seriously affect how she feels. That rules. a side comment: WTF was that girl in your class thinking asking the teacher if she's 40? She is a woman herself, around 22 years old at that! Is she stupid?! I knew in MIDDLE school never to ask a woman her age, and a 22 year old female doesn't? Stupid braud. At least you got to compliment her out of it. Oh yeah, did she give a "thank you" to the response or did she really just blush and that's it?

I've noticed that all girls and women are kinda like this. They operate more on an emotional rather then a rational level. Besides, how can you ever respond in a formal way when someone says something that sweet to you? :flowers:

But yea, not everyone in my class is that bright... socially.

I said it as I walked out of class and didn't really gave her much time to respond. She just laughed and I could tell she thought it was great.

This threads really good dunno how i missed it. Congrats snowdog your doing very good. There's a few things i wanna point out. First don't shoot yourself in the foot when a girl has a boyfriend she may still part with her number, shes not married that means shes not taken. I'm against stealing girlfriends but keep that bridge alive by getting her number, just in case something doesn't work out and she becomes single your first in line .

Thanks mate! Yea, I guess that's a good point. Once I've been shot down I'm kinda like "Ok, fine. Have it your way, f*ck it.". You're right about that, man. I usually just go into "friendly-non-seductive-mode" once a girl tells me she has a boyfriend. Definitely gonna push through with that next time. Thanks!

Her: Oh you can come over here, I'm not gonna bite you (showing her teeth. I thought that was sexy)
Me: Oh really? Well can you bite through this maybe (showing her the zip-tied cable)

Good job on that one, lol

Another thing is with that one girl slapping you, you validated her from the start. Prettiest girl in the bar? wtf... i would never say that, tell her "your beautiful, but beauty is common what else do you have going for you?" Thats mysterys line i thought it was good. You did get a date, a slap, a kiss, and u got shot down.

Yea. I didn't really seriously went for it then though. I just wanted to try something. I never opened with a compliment. She indeed responded negatively to that comment I made. It was a learning moment to experience that in real life.

Whats with the religion thing? Who cares what they believe in or what you believe in, it doesn't matter are you getting married to her? prolly not? so don't even bring up religion or even politics whenever you speak with women.

I wasn't the one who brought it up. She seemed really serious about it, in a way that just made me uncomfortable. We just were on a different wavelength.

Keep us updated, and get those numbers if those girls have boyfriends!

Will do my friend. I can't believe that actually never occurred to me.

Thanks for the feedback, guys!


11,344

 

[snowdog]

[No reply since my last post on previous page, in case you missed that one]


Alright, funny unexpected story.

The really pretty girl (prettygirl) in my class put a new picture on her myspace profile. Just a posed picture of her face with her eyes a little looking up (kinda like this, only much better looking and with a great smile). She looks georgeous in it, she seriously could be on the cover of a magazine. Anyway, in no time all these comments on it by guys like "wow you're beautiful" etc...

I just posted "Hmm... what are you looking at in the sky?"
She replied: "I don't comment on that "
I replied: "Ok OK! It is a beautful photo if that's really what you wanna hear "

Then another girl *girl1* (one of the three girls that were pretty much sexually assaulting me with text messages. "The c*cklovers") from my class responded to that:

"Is Snowdog in love with you?"

This made me think for a while what to reply there, in the end I came up with:

Don't worry *girl1* , the C*cklovers are first in line <3. (I'm sorry *prettygirl* <kiss smiley>)



I feel like that sh*t I posted is pretty damn awesome, ROFL.

11,410

 

[snowdog]

Alright 2009! Happy new years to anyone who reads this. I haven't really set the cliché goals for the new year like everyone else does. I just want to keep doing what I've been doing the past few months: improving my life. And I'm doing better and better.

I feel I've finally, really turned a point. I finally closed that dark chapter of my life behind me. The part that ruined me for so long. It has taken me about 7 years to become ready to talk with someone about it, and I've spent the last 6 months dealing with it and overcoming it. Two weeks ago, just before the Christmas holiday I had one last therapy session that really helped me find closure. Now that I've taken care of my own sh*t, it's time to catch up with what I've been missing out on for so long. I never had a solid foundation to build on, that's why I failed miserable time after time. You can't build a skyscraper on quicksand. But now I've put some solid poles in the ground, baby. I have never felt so good, so confident and so happy as I do now... well, maybe I did as a little kid a long long time ago.

My shyness is as good as gone. The wall I'm facing with every girl is almost non-existent. I'm flirting with every girl in my reach, and they flirt back! All of them! I can confidently find and hold eye contact, and give girls a smile and a wink. I never could do that before properly. I'm getting the hang of it.

I have plenty of little stories about how I flirted with this and that girl etc... but they're all about the same. We both flirt with good eye contact, close proximity and sometimes kino. I'm completely comfortable with it, and I'm starting to like it more and more. Starting to do it more and more.


I have found myself.


2009 is going to be awesome.



11,890

 

[snowdog]

Alrighty. Went to the gym again today for the first time this year. I've been busy with school and sh*t (getting drunk). There was this cute girl I met earier. She sat behind the reception desk last time I met her a couple months ago, and I hadn't seen her since. But there she was again. Cute blonde, about my age with a nice face. She had a damn fine figure too. The only negative point I could find was that not all her teeth were straight, but I could live with that. She seemed nice too the last time we talked. This time she walked around in the gym itself as an instructor. This is how the conversation went. She walked by and I was on this threadmill with earbuds in. I waved and smiled. She came over, so I slowed the threadmill a bit down and took my earbuds out.

Me: Hi, how are you
Her: Hey, I'm good
Me: It's a little late but, best wishes!
Her: Yea, you too
Me: So, you did anything fun?
Her: Yea, I did. You?

It was a litte tough to keep the conversation flowing. She seemed a little shy.
l
Me: Yea, it was great... as far as I can remember
Her: Haha alright, that can be a bad thing though
Me: No, it was great. I had a lot of fun. It was one awesome party.
Her: Good. ... yea...

(in this part there would usually be an akward silence, but...)

Me: So, I see you were promoted
Her: Huh? What do you mean?
Me: Last time I saw you, you were sitting at the reception desk.
Her: Oh no, haha. That was just at the start, I was meant to become an instructor here.
Me: Ah I see. Well good for you. Hey, I'm going to finish my little progam here
Her: Yea, alright. Well, see you around
Me: Goodbye

We made plenty of full on eye contact. I constantly smiled and so did she. During that little lull in the conversation she just nodded and smiled while holding eye contact. It went as good as automaticly, and I thought it went pretty good too.

I went further through my program with weights and stuff (I couldn't believe how much I sucked. But then again, I'd been drinking heavily and not doing sh*t for weeks). About an hour later whe walked by when I was at the weights. She had her coat on, so I started another conversation:

Me: Hey.
Her: Hey.
Me: So, done for today?
Her: Yea, going home, relaxing.
Me: That's good. You busy this week?
Her: You mean with work?
Me: Yea.
Her: Yea, I'm pretty busy.
Me: Got time to grab a drink sometime this week?

She looked a little shocked, lol. Like caught off guard. But her answer was clear.

Her: No... No.
Me: Oh well. Well have yourself a nice evening.
Her: Bye.


I was suprised I didn't care too much about it. I just finished my program and went to the showers and was just like 'oh well'. It didn't make me feel bad at all getting rejected. I feel really happy that I just went for it again. It really gets easier.

It was like I scared her or something. But hey, at least I asked. There will be one that will say "yes" someday.




12,077

 

[Igetit!]

Alright,I'll be honest with you man,I haven't read your whole thread,but from this latest entry you seem to be doing pretty good with the whole self improvement thing. So good for you. Now for this gym girl incident,you didn't really seem to capture any real interest from this girl. The whole conversation between the two of you seemed more like polite chit-chat than a possible real connection. Your convo didn't have anything to really grab her attention,and she herself didn't contribute anything to the interaction. She just sort of yeah,and umm hmm'ed herself until you got finished with your questions. That's why you found it hard to have a conversation with her. I don't think it was because she was shy,it was because she was uninterested.
It's probably the same thing you'd do if someone came up to you and started talking to you about vacuum cleaners,the history of vacuum cleaners,and the different types of vacuum cleaners. You'd be bored out of your mind,and answer yes,no,oh..that's interesting,and so forth, not really having anything benefitical to add to the conversation yourself.

Do a search here on the forum. I'm sure you can find some more interesting ways to start conversations than that dribble you used with this woman.

 

[snowdog]

Good point there. I'll pay more attention to it. Thanks for that, I always like feedback!

 

[macallik]

Yea the conversation wasn't amazing but with heavy eye contact and lots of smiling, it is still a decent percentage shot to take. Good stuff snowdog