A dude should never let a lady tell him what to do. He can ask for her advice, but not control him. Ladies look down on this on a dude. Just ask our resident lady,
@BeExcellent. She'd agree she wants a strong dude, not a doormat or someone she can control.
Correct. A woman worth having wants to be in the company of real men, not soy boys. A woman who wants to raise a real man needs to help him understand he’s got to make his own way, own his decisions and face his own consequences/results. She advises but accepts his decision. To do else wise is to enable. Enablers don’t raise real men, but sissy men.
I have told my son for years the following 2 statements.
1. The world doesn’t give a flip about you. YOU have to give a flip about you and if you are fortunate you’ll have a few friends or family members in your life who will also be in your corner and love you. But YOU must be the arbiter of your life & what you do. It’s YOUR responsibility and nobody else’s.
2. Life is about Results. If you want a good life you must do what is required to create the optimal outcomes you are seeking. If you want to get into a good university you are going to have to be disciplined and make great grades. If you want something it is your responsibility to create the results that allow you to reach that thing.
I teach personal responsibility, as my father taught me. I also teach the importance of correct habits for our habits become our behavior which in turn becomes who we are.
So if my son disagrees with me or stands up to me on something, I listen & respect what he has to say. He has learned to make decisions and go in the direction of his choosing, and it is my job as his mother to allow him as much autonomy as is reasonable to face the consequences of his actions.
Does that mean he gets to take my car without asking? No. It’s MY car. And it means if he damages something of mine HE must make it right/fix it/pay for it.
But my son is only 17 and still lives in my home and attends high school.
My son WILL NOT be living in my home after college. He will be required to be independent by then.
If a full grown adult man has an overbearing mother, he has allowed her to become overbearing by being too meek or too dependent. Real men love their mothers but make the decisions that are best in their lives and move forward. Period. Respectful mothers give advice but refrain from being overbearing.
If your mother doesn’t respect you as a man you need to look at yourself and your relationship with her.
And some women are feminist control freaks who think they know everything. If your mother is one of those do your thing irrespective of her. Ignore her if necessary. If you are having trouble doing that? Look at yourself.
If I sound harsh I’m just telling you the truth. No woman worth having wants a mama’s boy.
And my son is no mama’s boy although he loves his mama.
