My girlfriends ex is begging for her back

[EastvsWest]

I had a very similar situation as this with my ex. She had an ******* ex husband that constantly contacted her. But I didn't give a **** and ignored it because I knew she really. Really liked me. However I was an insecure dumbass when all of my friends were getting on me about certain ways I would tease her. She said she liked it but they did not understand. I ****ed up one night and told her I needed a break for a week to think about stuff. She was CRUSHED. Begged me back and we got back together a few days later. The next 6 weeks were blah. Basically if she loved me the second I said I needed a break all feelings changed. We broke up July of last year on very good terms. I probably really screwed this up as in the last year I have not met a chick that gets me anywhere near the way she did. Chalk this up aas a brutal hurtful lesson. Think hard before you act.

 

[topmanbarry]

Update: So i sat back and reflected on everything that happened. And i realized with the help of the exception and others that i overreacted. I have never been through sexual abuse so i shouldnt have imposed on her what i thought was right. I never experienced it so i didn't know what she was going through.

After that i reached out to her apologized to her and asked if we could get back together. Shockingly she said no. She said that she spoke to a couple of her friends and they thought that she would be much happier without me. I was so angry that she would let her friends get in her head like that but i said F*** it and said whatever.

Couple hours later she calls me cursing me out saying how her ex(the same one that keeps harassing her) sent her a screenshot of me texting him calling her a slut and how she sucked my c0ck and how shes my little ***** and all those bad things using the textfree app.

I have used to textfree to text him before but that was to tell him to back off shes mines, and i did not want him to know my actual number. He obviously made a textfree account and texted himself and sent the screenshots to her as a way to make her break up with me. Well i explained to her that it wasent me and showed her proof. I gave her my textfree password as proof.I then aske dher again if we can get back together and she said everything is confusing..she does not know who to believe and everything is stessing her out, so she needs time to think.

Later that day she calls me up and we talk about everything that happened this past weekend. I then asked her again if we can get back together. She said "idk" again. Right after that she reads my a text that her ex sent her. He said

" I dont care what anyone says. You or your boyfriend. I'm your boyfriend. I love you and im in love with you. You are my future wife and you are my girlfriend".

I said wow and then said she still wants me but does not know if we can be together because of what her friends were telling her. So i say ok bye bye and hang up the phone.

Hour later she sends me a text apologizing about everything, and saying how shes sorry for letting her friends influence her decisions and get in her head. She said they are all wrong about me and does not know me. She said shes sorry for not believing that i did not send those texts to her ex and that she wants to get back with me. I did not reply since then.

She called me today and i did not pick up. My plan is to disappear from her life forever but i really don't want to. i have STRONG feelings for her and would even marry her, but i dont know if i want to get back with her, especially with her ex saying that. What should i do?

 

[Iceberg]

She called me today and i did not pick up. My plan is to disappear from her life forever but i really don't want to. i have STRONG feelings for her and would even marry her, but i dont know if i want to get back with her, especially with her ex saying that. What should i do?

With the combination of the ex, and you, and the girl and the rape by the grandmother's hustband, and the "textfree" blah blah blah...I mean, I don't know, but I'm having a REALLY hard time caring anymore.

This has gone from a situation about a guy having a hard time figuring out how to deal with his girlfriend's ex to a situation about....I don't even f**kin know. It's the script of a bad high school drama that no one wants to watch.

I mean...Has anything changed, really in this situation after 4 pages of discussion? The ex is still annoying, the girl is still annoying, and actually, you're kind of annoying too. How about you just break things off with her and start fresh?

If a man CHOOSES to keep putting himself into a situation full of drama, how am I supposed to sympathize with him? Come on, dude. I would have ejected from this situation a long time ago. Put on your big boy pants and move on. You have "strong feelings" for her? Cool...you'll have strong feelings for other girls too. Less crazy ones.

 

[LiveFreeX]

I'm guessing you are either ugly or stupid or both. Why do N00Bs always put so much importance on one girl.

This girl has you wrapped around her finger, you are a class 1 idiot.

Update: So i sat back and reflected on everything that happened. And i realized with the help of the exception and others that i overreacted. I have never been through sexual abuse so i shouldnt have imposed on her what i thought was right. I never experienced it so i didn't know what she was going through

You are too young or too stupid to be in this relationship. You are putting up with BS and she is creating more drama as she sees fit. Anyone who replies and advises you to stay with this broad has 0 game. This sounds like girl speak... you reflected on everything' and realized that you have nothing in common with this broad who THINKS she was sexually abused. You have never experienced dating a girl like this, I have, it bs they bring up whenever they want sympathy, she is likely a Bi Polar Disorder. A girl like this is seriously dangerous because eventually she might decide that YOU sexually abused her.

Break it off, remove yourself from this toxic situation. No broad, especially a bpd is worth this much energy. You made a bad decision, this girl is a seriously bad investment. Get out, go find someone else and forget about this. You shouldn't need to contact an ex or even play into this retarded game she's creating for you two. Tell her that her friends were right and you decided that you want whats best for her. Tell her to go back to her ex.

Done and Done, then look for a woman who hasn't had an ex. Virgins fix this problem 100%

 

[pinkfl]

I applaud her for turning you down.
She's doing the right thing for herself.

I wouldn't continue to date a guy that decides every time he is insecure about something that he needs to break up with me. I can't spend all my time coddling to his emotions, because two things will happen:
1. He becomes dependent on me for his own happiness and
2. He will eventually lose respect for me because I didn't have enough of a backbone to stand up for myself.

You need to work on you. When you are happy, healthy, and secure, and you date someone happy, healthy, and secure, you will have a happy, healthy, secure relationship.

You need to work on your own insecurity issues and learn what is appropriate and what is not.

Every girl is going to have that one ex that just cannot take the hint. And if she's smart, she'll keep turning him down, over and over again. You can't just "go get a restraining order" unless YOU FEEL YOUR LIFE IS THREATENED. You can't get one for annoying phone calls, for texts, anything like that. The reason why is because the consequences for breaching a restraining order are severe and there is very specific legal criteria involved for obtaining one. That's why there's the power of ignoring someone, telling them to leave you alone, or simply blocking them. Why on earth did you feel the need to get involved with her ex? That was pure foolishness. You opened that door on your own. Don't ever get involved with a girl's ex unless he is exhibiting legitimate stalker tendencies, and then your only course of action is to drive her down to the courthouse to fill out paperwork or call the police and let them handle it. That's it. No confrontation, no phone calls, nothing.

As far as a girl that has been sexually abused, that's again, not her fault. However, your course of action is to be supportive in the sense that you encourage her to work through her emotions at her own pace and seek out therapy. You can't say "grow up because life gets harder than this".

Take this as a lesson learned. You let your own issues get in the way, and now all you have left is a drama-filled potential future with this girl. There is NO WAY that this is going to have a happy ending if you were to get back together.

 

[topmanbarry]

Hmm alright I guess the best thing to do is just move on then

 

[topmanbarry]

Take this as a lesson learned. You let your own issues get in the way, and now all you have left is a drama-filled potential future with this girl. There is NO WAY that this is going to have a happy ending if you were to get back together.

Why do you think so? Is it not possible that I can work on myself while in the relationship?

 

[youngmack]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=162546

Read that bruh

 

[pinkfl]

Why do you think so? Is it not possible that I can work on myself while in the relationship?

I don't believe in that for a couple of reasons.

Reason 1:
You need to be secure in you for you. That means it needs to completely unbiased and your own personal opinions that are not influenced by outside factors. I highly recommend everyone on this planet to learn how to be happy while single/not pursuing a significant other. It teaches a valuable lesson, which is that you cannot make another person responsible for your happiness.

Reason 2:
You cannot have a healthy relationship if you go into it with drama. Period. You're setting the tone for the rest of the relationship in the first few weeks. She's going to look back on these incidents (which literally happened within a week of each other) and remember that she got dumped twice. And it's going to come up again in future arguments. What makes you think that the third time, you'll get it right? Insanity is doing the same thing many times and expecting different results.

It's sort of like a job interview. If you hire someone, then they flake, apologize and beg for the their job back...you might go ahead and say "sure, why not give them another chance?" Then you do the same thing again and ask for another chance. The boss is tired of it and wants to hire someone more reliable.

Reason 3:
You will not actually be motivated to change. You are only fooling yourself if you think otherwise. Why? Because you have what you wanted. The relationship. It's like getting an A without studying versus an A+ if you study all night long. You're going to settle for the A because it's good enough and you don't have to put in the extra work to get a decent grade.

 

[cordoncordon]

In reading this entire thread, and don't take this personally as you seem like a decent guy, but I think you are both better off without each other. Especially her without you. I mean, twice she has had something serious in her life happen to her, first an ex harassing her and then seeing a past sexual abuser, and your reaction both times was to dump her. Rather then be supportive, you dumped her. And I am not even saying you should be with her, she sounds like she has a ton of issues that may or may not be worth dealing with, but I cannot blame her a bit for breaking up with a guy who has shown no gumption or support whatsoever for her whenever she has something dramatic happen to her in her life.

I mean what if something happened to you? What if lets say first you had an ex who kept contacting you and then you had to go see a man who sexually abused you as a kid-which sent you into a funk. And both times she dumped you as a result. Would that give you any reason at all to stay with her? Hell no. You would be like "screw this".

Use this as a learning experience. Learn to stop being so dramatic and emotional when it comes to relationships. Learn self control and confidence. Women respect that much more than a man who overreacts to everything, and as a result the goal that you desire-that is a woman who will basically worship the ground you walk on, will be much more attainable.

Good luck.

 

[topmanbarry]

So you guys do not think that we can start fresh if I decide to get back with her? Remember she says she wants me back. I think I am old enough to learn from my mistakes and to make this work from now on

 

[LiveFreeX]

You are an idiot, you deserve everything that's coming.

 

[ludis]

topmanbarry, you better go ghost and you might have a slim chance of salvaging some self-respect.

Just drop it and join the No Contact Challenge thread.

 

[Juan Don]

So you guys do not think that we can start fresh if I decide to get back with her? Remember she says she wants me back. I think I am old enough to learn from my mistakes and to make this work from now on

you wont listen to anything we say. your mind is already made up. sometimes people need to learn the hard way so you should take her back and continue this cycle you two have for each other

 

[Kailex]

So you guys do not think that we can start fresh if I decide to get back with her? Remember she says she wants me back. I think I am old enough to learn from my mistakes and to make this work from now on

You can't start "fresh" with a girl you've dumped twice in the last month.

There's no "fresh" part to that... the only clean slates out there are every other woman who you haven't dated or haven't lived out an episode of Dawson's Creek with. Sorry, brother, but there is no new beginning with this one.

Let her have her little drama with her ex and besides... her friends are already against you as well.

This sounds like WAY too much work to even attempt to rebuild that relationship... why go through that when you can start new ones on a completely new level and completely new and clean canvas?

But of course... you probably won't listen and you'll go on and crave this girl... for reasons unknown and you'll feed into the drama... and end up on Loveshack.

 

[topmanbarry]

We got back together. Even though I been insecure I think I did a good job of displaying alpha qualities at the start of the relationship. Maybe that's why she can't help but take me back. But I'm not trying to fvck up this time. I wont fvck up this time. I've learned and going to correct my mistakes from here on out.

 

[jay07]

Man i read your other thread. I might be negative but im getting the feeling shes playing you and she might not have really went on that trip but spent time w. Her ex.

My ex pulled the same crap once and i found out because i was so goddamn suspicious i did some snooping around and found out.

I know shes a rape victim, and i could be wrong. But this screams bpd. Find out somehow if she really went to delaware. Id cut ties anyways, rape victims have serious trust issues and most end up bpd.

 

[topmanbarry]

I hope not. But I saw a thread that I think might be him. I remember someone posted on this thread about how he is going join this forum and write about how he is trying to get his ex back.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=207501

 

[topmanbarry]

We broke up. I think she went back to her ex. They were not facebook friends during our relationship, now they are friends. Feel like sh1t

 

[Tiguere]

Let him have her. Be glad you found out what a skank she is before you preggo her.