My girlfriends ex is begging for her back

[TheException]

Update guys: We got back together. I told her that i overreacted and i let my insecurities get the better of me . I apologized and said it would not happen again. But i sternly told her that this has to stop or else i will leave permanently.

Fail^

I warned you earlier about apologizing and "slinking" back to her. Shes going to hold it against you, so be wary in the future. Any fight shes going to blame on "your insecurities". And your ultimatum is laughable. If you didnt want to deal with an ex and the sh1t...you would have left permanently the FIRST time.

I stand by what I said earlier...you should have just hung out with her and hooked up. Forget about "titles" and being "official". Its all nonsense anyways and doesnt really matter. What matters is her attraction level...and it no doubt took a hit from this whole ordeal. As played...you gotta be on your top game. NEVER BRING UP HER EX AGAIN. As far as your concerned...its done with.

 

[topmanbarry]

Update guys: We got back together. I told her that i overreacted and i let my insecurities get the better of me . I apologized and said it would not happen again. But i sternly told her that this has to stop or else i will leave permanently.

Fail^

I warned you earlier about apologizing and "slinking" back to her. Shes going to hold it against you, so be wary in the future. Any fight shes going to blame on "your insecurities". And your ultimatum is laughable. If you didnt want to deal with an ex and the sh1t...you would have left permanently the FIRST time.

I stand by what I said earlier...you should have just hung out with her and hooked up. Forget about "titles" and being "official". Its all nonsense anyways and doesnt really matter. What matters is her attraction level...and it no doubt took a hit from this whole ordeal. As played...you gotta be on your top game. NEVER BRING UP HER EX AGAIN. As far as your concerned...its done with.

Well sorry for the misleading information it was not exactly a "Its over, i am done with you"... it was more of a " i don't think this can work..i have to think about this" kind of thing. My first reaction was to officially and permanently end it, but i did not want to do that until i got some insight on the situation; hence the reason why i posted here.

So it isn't like like we were completely apart we were just hanging from a little piece of thread.

 

[Kbomb]

Update guys: We got back together. I told her that i overreacted and i let my insecurities get the better of me . I apologized and said it would not happen again. But i sternly told her that this has to stop or else i will leave permanently.

Fail^

I warned you earlier about apologizing and "slinking" back to her. Shes going to hold it against you, so be wary in the future. Any fight shes going to blame on "your insecurities". And your ultimatum is laughable. If you didnt want to deal with an ex and the sh1t...you would have left permanently the FIRST time.

I stand by what I said earlier...you should have just hung out with her and hooked up. Forget about "titles" and being "official". Its all nonsense anyways and doesnt really matter. What matters is her attraction level...and it no doubt took a hit from this whole ordeal. As played...you gotta be on your top game. NEVER BRING UP HER EX AGAIN. As far as your concerned...its done with.

This. One caveat. It's not a fail but an opportunity to learn. In a relationship with an attractive woman you must always maintain your attractive male qualities. On the same token a woman must work to maintain her feminine attractiveness.

 

[Aristippus]

Update guys: We got back together. I told her that i overreacted and i let my insecurities get the better of me . I apologized and said it would not happen again. But i sternly told her that this has to stop or else i will leave permanently. She sent him a long text explaining that this has to stop and that she has no intentions of getting back with him.

She is happy with and and wants to leave the past in the past. He replied "wow um ok". She then proceeded to tell me that she would not want to take legal action because it is not like her life is in danger but if i wanted her to she would go to the police.

This isn't about your insecurities. This is about a man being disrespectful and not taking no for an answer. It's also a lesson in how women don't do a good job of setting boundaries. They say "no" in a half-a$$ed manner because they fear confrontation. At this point, I think leaving worked to your advantage. When you came back and gave an ultimatum she realized that she had something to lose.

It lit a fire under her a$$. Women usually try to avoid confrontation. They would rather avoid a guy and dodge him and hope he goes away rather than tell him directly that she doesn't like him or finds him repulsive. This is why many guys get frustrated with women when they don't answer calls and don't reply back. They take the passive method of resistance by avoiding and not returning calls and not coming right out and telling a guy to get lost.

The passive method of avoidance works to their advantage most of the time but not in the case where it's a man who won't take "no" for an answer. They will just continue to beg and whine and grovel without letup. The passive method doesn't work then. That's when nothing short of directly telling a man to get lost will work. Like I said before, the issue isn't your "insecurities". You're not to blame here. The issue is a man who won't take no for an answer harassing your woman and her trying to take the passive road of resistance in hopes he will go away.

The problem is someone on the outside not respecting the fact that you're both in a relationship. HE is the one with the problem. Not you. Never make apologies when you are in the right. You left because you were tired of some outsider not leaving your woman alone. If the shoe were on the other foot and you were receiving phone calls all of the time from an ex-girlfriend and she even called up your family, your girlfriend would have NONE of that. You need to have the same zero-tolerance policy.

 

[BigSmooth]

It's ironic because the ex-boyfriend is probably making an account on this website as we speak.

 

[youngmack]

It's ironic because the ex-boyfriend is probably making an account on this website as we speak.

Lmaoooo

 

[hop On hop Off]

Why don't you, actually your gf, just file a restraining order? This is harassment at its finest.

 

[mr. kennedy]

It's ironic because the ex-boyfriend is probably making an account on this website as we speak.

LOL!

 

[topmanbarry]

Why don't you, actually your gf, just file a restraining order? This is harassment at its finest.

We agreed that if it gets any further that we will do so

 

[topmanbarry]

I have another question guys. Since we are back together what can i do to make up for my AFCness ? What are some alpha game tactics i can use from now on to get back the upper hand, have her respect me again and get some excitement back in this thing.We literally talk everyday but that is because she ALWAYS calls me. Should i ignore her contact for a couple days?

(P.S: i was alpha from the start and on top of my game but when we got exclusive i became more AFCish especially with the fact that we talk EVERYDAY for long hours on the phone. I cant help it though i love talking to her, so i basically need help with relationship gaming at this point)

 

[TheException]

What are some alpha game tactics i can use from now on to get back the upper hand

Its not about "tactics" pal...its about mindset. If your still a chump go read some article on "inner game" or prize mentality....then start putting it into practice.

We literally talk everyday but that is because she ALWAYS calls me. Should i ignore her contact for a couple days?

we talk EVERYDAY for long hours on the phone. I cant help it.

You can help it. And no you shouldnt be ignoring her "on purpose". I dont know what your doing currently in your life but there is absolutely zero reason why you should just have a few hours extra to be sitting around on a phone being unproductive. Go pick up a hobby, take a class, work on business projects...do fvckin something man. You need to ACTUALLY BE BUSY.

 

[pinkfl]

I have another question guys. Since we are back together what can i do to make up for my AFCness ? What are some alpha game tactics i can use from now on to get back the upper hand, have her respect me again and get some excitement back in this thing.We literally talk everyday but that is because she ALWAYS calls me. Should i ignore her contact for a couple days?

(P.S: i was alpha from the start and on top of my game but when we got exclusive i became more AFCish especially with the fact that we talk EVERYDAY for long hours on the phone. I cant help it though i love talking to her, so i basically need help with relationship gaming at this point)

The best advice I can give is to be your own person. That means that having a girlfriend should not be your hobby. You should have other interests that you pursue, and other friends. If you want a healthy relationship, you need to be a healthy person yourself. That means do NOT play mind games (ignoring the phone on purpose is one of the most immature games to play) and instead, try to be a well rounded person.

If you love talking to her, that's great! Awesome! But you cannot ignore your other friends.
So have guys night, go out and pursue a hobby, and your relationship will be better for it.

You'll notice that people who have the most life experiences and have a lot of little things under their belt tend to have the healthiest relationships. That's because they are always doing something, and they are always interesting to the other person because they keep bettering themselves.

 

[The_411]

You made quite a few mistakes.

She was being dispectful.

The problem is that you got upset at her for getting dispectful which becomes a button pusher for her. She'll test the boundaries to see what she can do to piss you off.

The second problem is that you apologized to her for your behavior when she should be the one apologizing for her behavior.

This gets chalked under the disrespect card and she may feign attractrion but unless you come correct with your frame she's going cheat on you because she thinks you are weak.

Talking on the phone for long hours is pointless. You're wasting time and you show that you are too available. Get busy improving yourself for you so that when she's out of the picture you're able to move on much more quickly.

The phone should be used to either get her over or make plans, not listening to her blather. Think about it this way. If you are talking to ehr on the phone for long periods of time it means 1) you're too invested 2) it's a DLV because it suggests that you don't have anything better to do.

It doesn't matter what time it is during the day either. Think of yourself as a stock whose value only increases when you do things to make the stock more attractive to purchasers and less attractive to sellers. Listening on the phone decreases the value of the "you" stock and increases the attractiveness to the seller.

 

[topmanbarry]

Thanks for the sound advice guys. Ill change my mindset and minimize the AFCness. Thanks again.

 

[May_Day]

You showed your insecurities to her. There was no need to apoligize to her. She has you now so she isn't alone. She will be looking for anoher guy very soon who isn't insecure. Your relationship won't last very long.

 

[topmanbarry]

Well I ended it with her today. Yesterday she had to go visit her grandmother along with her parents in Delaware for a couple hours. The thing is her grandmother is married to a man who isn't her grandfather and she told me that same man raped her when she was 9 years old.

The night prior to leaving she called me and told me that she really did not want to go and that she did not want to face the man that did this to her. She didn't want past traumatic events to resurface in her current life.

I gave her the best advice as I could like being strong, and facing obstacles in life, and that god did not put her on this earth if he felt that she could not handle what he throws at her, etc.

She always writes me a good morning text and tells me to have a good day, something she didn't do the next morning. I tried to contact her to see how she was doing in Delaware and she would give me cold distant responses like "I don't wanna talk" and etc. I said ok i'll give her some space. This morning the same things happens. No morning text and the same cold distant vibe I get from her.

I said enough is enough and I call her out on it. She tells that when shes going through a bad experience or has trouble in her life that she tends to push people away and that shes always done this. I tell her that she needs to grow up because life gets harder than this.

I also told her that this is affecting me and our relationship and it isn't fair to me. I don't want any personal problems affecting us in any way, and that if problems arise we would try our best to overcome them. Its like she isn't even putting in effort to be strong ;its like she just got on her knees and accepted defeat. I then told her that I can't be in this relationship if she isn't strong enough to not let certain things affect our relationship.

Am I justified in doing what I did?

 

[Juan Don]

Well I ended it with her today. Yesterday she had to go visit her grandmother along with her parents in Delaware for a couple hours. The thing is her grandmother is married to a man who isn't her grandfather and she told me that same man raped her when she was 9 years old.

The night prior to leaving she called me and told me that she really did not want to go and that she did not want to face the man that did this to her. She didn't want past traumatic events to resurface in her current life.

I gave her the best advice as I could like being strong, and facing obstacles in life, and that god did not put her on this earth if he felt that she could not handle what he throws at her, etc.

She always writes me a good morning text and tells me to have a good day, something she didn't do the next morning. I tried to contact her to see how she was doing in Delaware and she would give me cold distant responses like "I don't wanna talk" and etc. I said ok i'll give her some space. This morning the same things happens. No morning text and the same cold distant vibe I get from her.

I said enough is enough and I call her out on it. She tells that when shes going through a bad experience or has trouble in her life that she tends to push people away and that shes always done this. I tell her that she needs to grow up because life gets harder than this.

I also told her that this is affecting me and our relationship and it isn't fair to me. I don't want any personal problems affecting us in any way, and that if problems arise we would try our best to overcome them. Its like she isn't even putting in effort to be strong ;its like she just got on her knees and accepted defeat. I then told her that I can't be in this relationship if she isn't strong enough to not let certain things affect our relationship.

Am I justified in doing what I did?

too late you already told her that. i'd say the relationship is done. not sure that's the best advice you could give to someone that went through some **** like she did unless you went through the same thing in your life.

 

[TheException]

Am I justified in doing what I did?

There is no such thing as "justification" for ending a relationship. You END ONE WHEN YOU WANT TO END ONE. But I will say this....if a girl facing a tough situation, handles it by shutting out the world....and you sit there crying about the lack of attention that YOUR RECEIVING.....then good luck pal. Women do MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH WORSE things than this.

The problem isnt her and the lack of attention shes giving....the problem is your NEED FOR THE ATTENTION in the first place. This whole thread is a sh1tshow about you and your insecurities. Youve gotten great advice on this thread, and have chosen to ignore it.

 

[Tiguere]

Its her ex man. Shes talking to him again. I saw your other thread.

 

[LiveFreeX]

This. Any quality woman will have exes trying to get back with her. How she handles them determines the proper response from you. Best case scenario, she is looking to you for support and guidance in protecting herself from this guy. Worst case scenario, she's not over him and she's a cheating drama queen you need to drop asap. We cant know those details from a message board.

Incorrect a quality woman shouldn't have exes.

A semi-quality woman will have been dumped by cheating exes who do not continue to pursue her because she is anti-challenge.

A low-quality woman will have exes who pursue her.

This guy is texting her everyday begging her and calling her from blocked numbers. She says shes over him and does not want anything to do with him. Her actions also matches her words. Shes often told him she has a boyfriend and shes happy with him. Of course the guy does not listen and continues bothering her.

Today now she told me that he contacted her mom and her mom asked her if she wanted to know what he said she said no. To me this was getting too far and i felt uneasy with him orbiting our relationship. and i broke it off with her. She started to cry and told me don't go because shes loves and will do anything for me to be comfortable in this relationship.

There is something fishy going on here. I would cool the relationship with her significantly. If you had picked a virgin, this wouldn't even be an issue.
Corrector is correct, now is the time to inquire about this past relationship as their are obviously some unresolved issues and YOU might end up being just like her ex.

She might be a BPD dude. Careful.

Well I ended it with her today. Yesterday she had to go visit her grandmother along with her parents in Delaware for a couple hours. The thing is her grandmother is married to a man who isn't her grandfather and she told me that same man raped her when she was 9 years old.

The night prior to leaving she called me and told me that she really did not want to go and that she did not want to face the man that did this to her. She didn't want past traumatic events to resurface in her current life.

I gave her the best advice as I could like being strong, and facing obstacles in life, and that god did not put her on this earth if he felt that she could not handle what he throws at her, etc.

She always writes me a good morning text and tells me to have a good day, something she didn't do the next morning. I tried to contact her to see how she was doing in Delaware and she would give me cold distant responses like "I don't wanna talk" and etc. I said ok i'll give her some space. This morning the same things happens. No morning text and the same cold distant vibe I get from her.

Proof positive she is a BPD. You are justified to leave and advised to clear the blast area, ASAP.

Next time go to the 3rd world and meet a decent virgin, groomed from birth to take care of a man.
You guys always choose the worst quality women and complain when they do the worst quality things imaginable.