My Approach Journal

[Mr.SomeoneElse]

I agree man.
On all of your approaches your approaching like a teacher does when he tries to get to know his students lol.
Or a boss in an interview.

You HAVE to start building some sexual tension, make sexual innuendos, kino, be fun. Stop interrogating her like she has a bomb.

 

[thechosenone2190]

Approach 49 and 50
I made 2 approaches today. They were both really bad. One was a married HB5.5 at a fashion event. The other one was a HB6 who got creeped out by my approach, since it was during the evening at a train station. In fact, they both work in fashion and are married, which is quite a coincidence. I don't even feel like documenting the exact details, but I have to keep count of them to be fair and honest. They're not much different from other rejections I've gotten lol. I need to up my standards as well as my game.

Approaches: 50
Ph No's: 10
Facebook: 1

 

[yuppaz]

It looks like you are being verbally direct from the start, then interviewing them / hoping they will take the LEAD in the conversation. It doesn't work that way. You need to now work on making them FEEL GOOD FEELINGS in the interaction while you are LEADING THEM. If you want to go direct, try opening direct, laser eyes on theirs with a big **** eating grin on your face so they also FEEL GOOD. Come up with reasons to safely touch them (not in a creepy way) and LEAD HER towards getting together. Women speak EMOTION, MAKE THEM FEEL AMAZING ABOUT YOU and the game is concluded.

Cheers & go for it!

 

[flashpoint]

It looks like you are being verbally direct from the start, then interviewing them / hoping they will take the LEAD in the conversation.

that is how i v read them too. changing some things could really improve your success rate and might make it more fun as well. one small detail anyways, you seem to immediately starting interrogating them, starting with the question what her name is. How about starting off with introducing yourself?

i mean you are setting the tone here with your first few sentences and of course you want something from them not the other way round. so this "who are you, where are you from, what you do" tends to make her uncomfortable (or any other person) and my guess is that is why their wish to see you again isnt that big afterwards.

starting off with the compliment is debatable, but you can make an argument for not hiding your intentions i guess. but i most certainly would follow up with "i am <name>" and a handshake, and while still holding her hand i'd follow up with a personal question and addressing her by her name (assuming she said hers after you). Something that relates to maybe her taste or where she might be from or anything noticable about her. that should be the starting point of the conversation, so you can show genuine interest. BUT it is also necessary to share something with her based on that. you absolutely need to talk a little bit about yourself, otherwise you will remain a stranger to her and she will have a problem with seeing you again. Talk about your mom, your little sister, your pet, whatever seems "sweet" and non-threatening. and asking her about what she likes is great advice indeed.

then you need to leave on a high note. make her laugh 2-3 times (without being a clown) and after that you mention that you remember that you have some urgent business to do. that should leave her wanting more. of course you HAD to stop to talk to her but now you have to go. and then set up a date based on the conversation you just had. one small hint: whatever you ask for always give a reason (that is a tested psychological thing, e.g. they have made an experiment under what circumstances people let you cut in line, and the ones that were given a proper reason were way more willing to.)

there is no 100% sure thing but it increases chances by connecting the dots for her when you do call her. like lets say you offered her to teach her roller skating or whatever, just have it be something that is interesting, new, exciting, adventureous, fun. she will remember then. and you could introduce that thought of you guys doing something together by teasing her with questions like "i dont know how spontaneous you are/up for a challenge/ ...." in a friendly way.

 

[evan12]

well , you are just doing the same pattern , you are still not funny and interesting in your conversation .
you need some sexy hair style , it seem girls is not interested in your look too
another thing, when a girl respond on the second or third time with one word answer leave her

 

[thechosenone2190]

To make a long story short, AAAGent pm'd me to sarge with him. We met up, and he was with me the whole time as I made my approaches. Really smart guy.

Approach 54
Me and AAAAgent are waiting for the train in the subway. From afar, I see a HB from sitting on the bench. I THOUGHT she was a HB6 or 7, but when I got close enough, I realized she was a 4 or 3. I went through my usual schpeal of "hey i thought you were cute", which is probably one of biggest lies i've ever told in my life, and she still ended up rejecting me after i asked for her number. Thank goodness for that. This was just to warm me up.

Approach 55
Me and AAAAgent are walking down the sidewalk. I turn around and notice a hb7. She is a little bit on the heavier side, but she's one these HB's who I think is really hot but probably isn't a HB7 in other people's eyes. A personal preference. I'll admit it.
Me: Hey excuse me
HB: Yes?
Me: I thought you were cute and i just wanted to say hi
HB: Oh no *HB shook her head and kept on walking away*

Approach 56 (number-closed)
A HB7 is walking in the direction opposite to us. She looks like she's in a hurry to go somewhere.
Me: Excuse me i thought you were really cute and i just wanted to say hi
HB7: Oh! thank you... *continued on walking*
Me: What's your name? *i walk beside her, and the remainder of our conversation happens while we're walking side-by-side*
HB7: --
Me: Nice to meet you --. i'm --. what brings you here to the city? do you study?
HB7: yea i just started graduate school here. well i've been there for a year so far
Me: Oh cool. what do you study?
HB7: law
Me: Oh really! nice. so you go to law school right?
HB7: yea
Me: where are you from?
HB7: here in [city]
Me: Oh cool so you grew up here.
HB7: yea. i've been here my whole life and now i go to school here at --.
Me: You're parents must be super rich to afford to live here.
HB7: Not really.
Me: Where do you study?
HB7: huh? law school
Me: What school do you study at?
HB7: --
Me: Oh ok cool.
HB7: Do you go to school?
Me: No I graduated already last year.
HB7: What school did you go to?
Me: --
HB7: What do you do now?
Me: *blah blah blah* what's your phone number?
HB7: But I barely even know you.
Me: That's ok. I can take the time to get to know you better... you want to be lawyer later right?
HB7: yea eventually!
Me: I heard the market for lawyers isn't so hot right now... right?
HB7: Yea, it's terrible now.
Me: But when do you graduate?
HB7: 1 year
Me: Yea so hopefully it gets better then. You look like you're in a rush. Where are you headed?
HB7: I'm going to get my haircut.
Me: Oh ok. you scheduled an appointment with them to get it cut?
HB7: yea i did.
Me: Oh ok cool
HB7: I'm already late to my appointment. so i have to get going.
Me: No problem. What's your phone number?
HB7: do you do this everyday? Talk to random girls on the street and tell them they're cute? haha
Me: No this is my first time. *smh* so what's your number?
HB7: *hesitates for a few seconds while looking at me. i just stare at her back silently waiting for her response* ok it's --
Me: ok got it. see you!

AAAGent here thought she was a 5 or 6. I genuinely would give her a 7. to each his own! *note: i don't fluff up my numbers if you're thinking that. i later number closed a HB that AAAgent thought was a 7. I would give her between a 7 or 8, so my rating system isn't that off*

Approach 57
HB6.5 is sitting on the bench. There is luggage near the bench next to hers.
Me: Hi. I thought you were really cute and i just wanted to say hi
HB6.5: Oh thank you!
Me: You're not from around here are you?
HB6.5: No i am
Me: Oh really? You grew up in [city]?
HB6.5: yea
Me: oh so all that luggage isn't yours?
HB6.5: no they need to call someone to take that away.
Me: oh haha. i see. Do you go to school?
HB6.5: No i work
Me: Where do you work?
HB6.5: at a hotel
Me: Cool! maybe one day you want to become a hotel manager or something like that right?
HB6.5: I am hotel manager
Me: oh really! niice. where do you see yourself later on? do you still plan on staying in the city?
HB6.5: no actually i'm moving to the dominican republic in 6 months.
Me: Really? You're dominican republic?
HB6.5: No i'm puerto rican. but i have family there
Me: Who's in domican republic?
HB6.5: just cousins and aunts
Me: Cool. are you excited?
HB6.5: Yea i'm really excited
Me: That's good. what's your phone number?
HB6.5: sorry but i'm already seeing someone
Me: That's alright nice meeting you!

Approach 58
At a bookstore, i approach a HB7 browsing through some books
Me: Excuse me
HB7: yes?
Me: I thought you really cute and i just wanted to say hi
HB7: Oh! i'm engaged already sorry!
Me: No worries! nice meeting you

Approach 59
HB6, who AAAGent would rate a HB7, is sitting on a chair at the park talking to her friend.
Me: Hi. I thought you were really cute and i just wanted to say hi
HB6: *looks to friend* oh ok
Me: What's your name?
HB6: --
Me: Nice to meet you. i'm --. so what do you here? do you go to school?
HB6: no i just graduated already from -- university.
Me: So do you work now?
HB6: yea
Me: What do you do?
HB6: fashion design
Me: Oh really! cool did you go to -- university?
HB6: No i went to - university i said that already
Me: Oh right. i see you got braces there. i had mines back in like middle school
HB6: I know i'm a late bloomer!
Me: Yea. that's really late. most people get them when they're in middle school. right?
HB6: yea i know
Me: when i had braces in middle school, and people made fun of me, i called them bling bling. *lame i know*
HB6: what?
Me: bling bling. i'd call my braces bling bling.
HB6: bling bling? oh ok
Me: what's your phone number?
HB6: I don't give out my phone number like that
Me: ok nice meeting you

AAAGent here would give her a 7. i give her a 6. maybe it's b/c my subconscious is just really bitter towards her and the way she treated me. who knows. i don't give a **** anymore

Approach 60
HB7.5 is with a group of friends in purple shirts that read "bridesmaid". I tap HB7.5 on shoulder.
Me: Hi thought you were really cute and i just wanted to say hi
HB7.5: Oh ok
Me: what's your name?
HB7.5: *hesitatingly while her friends giggle* --
Me: Nice to meet you i'm --. *she doesn't even shake my hand* So are you guys cheerleaders or something?
Other HB's: No we're here for a wedding!
Another HB: She's getting married! *the one i approached*
Me: Oh really! Congratulations! Well just b/c you're married doesn't mean you can't make friends right?
Other HB: she's not married yet. she's only engaged
Other HB: yea so she's still on the market. it's not like she's stuck locked up in a tower with her long hair draping down waiting for her prince to come save her.
Me: Oh ok haha. well it was nice meeting you!
HB7.5: you too!

Approach 61
HB7 is sitting on the bench at a crowded with a small notepad of some sort and pen in hand.
Me: Hi is that a phone book or something?
HB7: um sorry what do you want? *really defensive*
Me: uhm I thought you were really cute and i just wanted to say hi
HB7: Does that line really work on other girls?
Me: do you have any other suggestions? *throw hands up in the air*
HB7: *thinks for a second* you could be more of a MYSTERY huh?
Me: hm... *stroke my chin* interesting.... you might be right
HB7: and this isn't a phone book. besides, who keeps all their contacts in a notepad these days anyways?
Me: true. so are you keeping a journal or something? are you a journalist?
HB7: yea actually i'm a writer
Me: Oh cool. do you write for the huffington post or something?
HB7: well i'm going to school to be a writer
Me: at -- university?
HB7: yea where else? that's where we are now right?
Me: yea. you got to *specific art school at university*?
HB7: yea
Me: niice. so do you keep also have your own blog and stuff?
HB7: yes believe it or not i actually do have my own blog
Me: you're not going to write about this are you?
HB7: maybe!
Me: tisk. *smh*
HB7: so what do you do?
Me: *blah blah blah about work and school* so what's your phone number?
HB7: i'm engaged already
Me: oh ok nice meeting you

 

[thechosenone2190]

At this point, i begin to seriously consider going indirect. AAAgent had been constantly telling me to do so this whole time anyways. i told him i didn't like beating around the bush with indirect approaches. i never understood why an indirect approach would work better than a direct approach. i feel like a girl who rejects you in a direct approach would have rejected you anyways in an indirect approach. i just never understood this concept. in my opinion, if going indirect makes any difference to girls, then girls are really dumb. after this approach though, i decided to give it a try

Approach 62
HB6 is sitting on the bench reading a book. Nice body, ok face
Me: hi are you irish?
HB6: Half! *she said enthusiastically. dear god i think to myself really?*
Me: i knew it! what's the other half?
HB6: one fourth italian and one fourth (insert some other european descent here)
Me: Cool got you. what are you reading there?
HB6: oh it's a book about --
Me: is she jamaican? *point to african american lady on cover of book*
HB6: no she was part of a movement in the united states
Me: Oh! the black panther party!
HB6: Yea
Me: yea i know about them. Black power! Power to the people! Black is beautiful! *throw fist up in air*
(with all due respect to other people of african american descent reading this)
HB6: hahaha yea
Me: Do you know the rapper Tupac? he was part of the black panther movement i think. or his parents were really into it. i know that much
HB6: Yea she's actually tupac's cousin!
Me: Oh really! niice. i loove tupac's music.
HB6: yea
Me: you like tupac's music too?
HB6: yea well not really. i don't listen to his music that much.
Me: oh ok i see. so you're actually into the black panther movement and stuff? that's surprising
HB6: no i'm not. i'm just reading the book
Me: I get it. it's just a biography for you to read in your leisure
HB6: yea i just like reading about it
Me: Cool i see where you're coming from.
(skip some boring chitchat about where she is from and where i am from here)
Me: i'd like to meet you sometime *line that AAAgent suggested I use which i said in a mumble. i definitely used it in the wrong context since i already met her* what's your phone number?
HB6: sorry i dont give out my number like that. but you can give me yours!
Me: oh ok... it's ---
HB6: wait hold on. i'm trying to get this phone to work
Me: no worries take your time
HB6: ok what is it you said --?
Me: yea ---
HB6: got it
Me: nice talking to you
HB6: you too!

Approach 63 (number-closed)
HB7.5 is sitting in the grass at the park reading a book. smoking hot. i walk all the way over to her past other people
Me: excuse me hi
HB7.5: hi yes?
Me: do you know where the nearest starbucks is? *here is my lame attempt at indirect approach. i think it's so fing lame that i have to pretend to not be hitting on her, yet it's working for some reason. it's so stupid*
HB7.5: *thinks long and hard with hand to chin* starbucks... hm... no sorry i really don't know. i'm not from around here! *stupid!*
Me: are you from london?
HB7.5: No! i'm from France, and that's what everyone says too when they first meet me! so annoying
Me: oh my bad! *look down at ground* I see you're reading a book on [profession] there!
HB7.5: yep
Me: Cool i do that [profession] too! well something similar
HB7.5: oh really? what do you do exactly?
Me: *blah blah about my work* Are you taking a course in [profession]?
HB7.5: well no. i work now. well i'm actually interning at a [more specific profession] company
Me: oh cool! that's really stressful job right?
HB7.5: yea it is
Me: you're going back to france at the end of summer right? that's when your internship ends?
HB7.5: no it actually lasts until october
Me: oh so you graduated already?
HB7.5: yep this is my last internship from the school year
Me: cool. do you see yourself staying here in the states? or going back to france?
HB7.5: i actually really love it here in [city]. i'm probably going to stay here in the usa
Me: oh you said you love it here and you want to stay here?
HB7.5: yea
Me: oh cool. france's economy isn't doing so hot right now right?
HB7.5: yea well the currency they're on is overinflated.
Me: yea i hear you. so do you listen to david guetta? i'm sorry what were you going to say? you go
HB7.5: nothing. what were you saying?
Me: you looked you wanted to say something before i cut you off
HB7.5: no i didn't. you go
Me: ok so you listen to david guetta?
HB7.5: who?
Me: david guetta? he's a dj from france whose really popular here in the states.
HB7.5: oh david guetta! yea i listen to him sometimes. not all the time
Me: Yea. i love david guetta's music. he's really big here. in fact, a lot of trance and house music is really popular here. european music is really taking over our culture. you listen to house music right?
HB7.5: yea i like house music. but not particularly. i listen to all kinds of music.
Me: oh ok you have diverse tastes i see
HB7.5: yea like i listen to r&b
Me: oh really?
HB7.5: yea i love r&b
Me: you listen to usher?
HB7.5: i love usher. the way he dances is great
Me: what's his name, chris brown, something brown
HB7.5: Chris brown!
Me: yea he dances really well too right?
HB7.5: he does. but i don't like him as a person
Me: yea b/c he's a jerk right? he beat up rihanna.
HB7.5: yea he beat rihanna up that's right
Me: Did you hear about him getting back together with rihanna
HB7.5: they are? i didn't know about this
Me: yea they had date together recently, which is really stupid of rihanna. in fact, i think they might have had their date in france. that's where they were last seen together i think
HB7.5: oh really? yea rihanna is really foolish if she goes back together with chris brown.
Me: Yea she's just asking for it. so stupid. *smh* hey i gotta get going but let me give you a call sometime. what's your phone number?
HB7.5: oh sure it's --
Me: cool got it. nice talking to you
HB7.5: you too!

i still think it's so stupid how indirect approaches make all the difference. it's biggest mystery in the world to me. i thought indirect approaches were only for pansies who didn't have the balls to go direct, and the more balls you show, the better. *smh*

Approach 64
HB7 is standing against the wall waiting with her friend. I walk over next to her. she is still ignoring me
Me: excuse me. can i get quick opinion on something?
HB7: sure
Me: can guys wear flip flops?
HB7: yea of course guys can wear flips flops
Me: even though they're not at the beach or at a pool? even if they're in the city like here?
HB7: yea. they can wear it anywhere
Me: ok cool that's a relief. I'm asking you guys this that cause i see you guys are wearing flip flops. and i'm wearing flip flops too. i thought guys are only allowed to wear flip flops at the beach or pool, and i'm really insecure about things like this
*HB7's friend standing beside her is laughing hard at this*
HB7: no it's fine for guys to wear flip flops
Me: Where are you from?
HB7: [state]
Me: oh cool! me too. what part?
HB7: northern [state]
Me: ah the rich area. -- county right?
HB7: no
Me: what county are you from?
HB7: -- county
Me: oh ok. that's still a good area. you're parents must be super rich right?
HB7: no. there's a lot of farms there and that's about it
Me: so what do you do now? do you go to school?
HB7: blah blah *can't remember. i just know she's visiting the city and she still lives in [state] that she's from with parents*
Me: what's your phone number?
HB7: i can't give out my number like that
Me: ok no problem nice talking to you!

Approach 65 (number-closed)
At a clothing store, I notice a hb7 giving me a little eye contact as i walk down the stairs
Me: Hi there. i like your flip flops
HB7: oh thanks
Me: Do you like mine?
HB7: *giggle* yea they're nice
Me: Cool thanks. can i ask you question? are guys allowed to wear flip flops?
HB7: yea of course they are.
Me: i thought that guys can only wear flip flops if they're at the beach or pool.
HB7: no. look at the guys there. they're wearing flip flops too. it's in style now
Me: Oh ok thank you so much. i'm really insecure about things like this... so are you here waiting for friends or something?
HB7: yea i'm waiting for my friends. they're upstairs.
Me: cool. so what do you do? are you a student?
HB7: well i was a student. then i took a semester off to work full time
Me: oh ok so you're planning to go back to school later on?
HB7: yea
Me: What school do you go to?
HB7: --
Me: ok. where are you from?
HB7: i'm from the city here
Me: oh [certain part of city]?
HB7: well no not [that part of city]. [other part of city]
Me: oh ok. i was actually born in [other part of city]. i lived there a few months as a baby *cradle pretend baby in my arms* and that's about it
HB7: oh neat what part?
Me: -- street
HB7: -- street? i live there now
Me: oh really! niice. it's not ghetto anymore right? i heard it's up and coming and really gentrified now.
HB7: yea it used to be a lot worse. but now it's a lot better. it's more dangerous if you go to towards [another part of city]
Me: got you. i really love the hip hop music from [that part of city]. rappers xyz and abc were from there. you listen to them?
HB7: no not really. i don't listen to rap that much.
Me: what do you listen to?
HB7: all kinds of music like r&b.
Me: oh you like rnb?
HB7: yea
Me: do you like usher?
HB7: usher? no i like trey songz
Me: oh trey songz! cool. *nod head can't think of any of his songs* niice. listen i gotta get going but let me give you a call sometime. what's your phone number?
HB7: it's --
Me: Cool nice meeting you!

AAAGent only gave her a 6 rating.

Approaches: 65
Ph No's: 14

AAAGent is a very wise person. He told me to send this text to all the HB's later on in the day:
"Hey -- this is --. Had a great time talking to you. have a great night!"

HB from approach 56 replied "Hi -, hope you have a good night too." HB from approach 65 replied "Yeah , have a good night "

 

[AAAgent]

Hey dude,

Congrats again.

One of the ballsiest guys i've seen. He'd literally be talking to you one second, and the next he'll be talking to some HB.

To explain what i meant by indirect approaches, I was using the wrong word. I meant indirect openers, your direct approach walking up to them is fine (though i would make it more natural controlled, instead of bolting on over. minor details). If your not doing some c+f/neg stuff most direct openers won't be as successful.

The reason why i say indirect openers is because every girl wants to fvck, but no girl wants to say it or make it seem that way. she wants you to be prince charming and if anything and it doesn't work it, she wants you to be the bad guy.

No one will believe she's the bad person if she gives out her number to a guy who makes himself seem like a man on a mission to bang.

Girls are also more controlled by emotion and being kept in the dark/mystery. Their emotions are best built up by the more good interactions you have together. They also never want to feel like sluts and will put up shields to protect this image they have of themselves. your job is to help them comply with that image while passing all of these test's (most conventional way). It's an uphill battle, but everyone knows that.

The reason why, i suggested following up with a short brief text is to build another positive interaction between the two of you while breaking down that shield she has up. So now not only are you different from the other guys since you had the balls to approach her and ask for her number, you also aren't the pig she was expecting you to be, basically only looking for s3x.

It's like sales, they say you need a minimum number of *TOUCHES* to close the sale.

 

[thechosenone2190]

yes master shifu. i see the light now. thank you sensei *bow head*

french hb7.5 from approach 63 finally texted back saying "Oh hi nice to meet u too! And it's -- lol" (i spelled her name wrong by a few letters)

 

[yuppaz]

Great job on switching it up.

If you are starting to have some success with being indirect, keep at that for a while.

What you were doing was being weak direct before, you opened them, told them you thought they were cute, then interviewed them (they knew what you said after was false, you were just trying to have more time with them for them to suddenly like you at some point, but it was in-congruent because you already told them you liked in the first place)

Being direct direct would look something more like:

you: Hey you
girl: yes
you: your adorable / sexy as **** / f*cking beautiful
girl: teeheee
you: I'm XXXXXXX (shake her hand, keep holding it, lightly and smile huge, look her in the eye)
girl: smile huge, I'm YYYYYYYY!!!!
you: who are you, why don't I already know you?
girl: teeeheeeeee (I'm blah blah I go to blah blah and do blah blah
you: NO! WHO ARE YOU ...like as a person?
girl: oh I'm really sweet and like to go dancing and play with my hair and blow strange guys..teeheeee
you: come with me (grab hand and lead her), we're going to get a drink at xyz
girl: oh but I have plans, or ok. If plans tell her to give you her phone number

^^^^ No lie that sh*t can work (if you can tell she is into you)

Another option would be to open indirect on the open and through the convo then find reasons in the conversation why you are liking her and want to see her again. That's where you should be at right now IMHO, you will have the best results at this time.

Direct is best done with some level of dominance and greatly displayed outward confidence and strong inner game.

 

[thechosenone2190]

One day later:

I texted the HB from approach 56
Me: "hey --. did you like the haircut you got yesterday? -[my name]"
*no response*

Next day later around 8

I texted french hb from approach 63
Me: hi --. this is --. how was your day?
*no response*

I texted hb from approach 65
Me: hey --. this is --. how have you been?
HB: Ive been good, yu?
Me: Good. Are you doing anything wed or thurs around 7?
1 hour later
HB: Um idk if i told yu, but i have a boyfriend
Me: Just cause you have a boyfriend you can't make new friends and hang out with them? (just messing around)
*no response*

thanks yuppaz. i'll keep that in mind

 

[csycpr]

God bless ya, chosenone, I had a good laugh reading through this thread. I don't mean that disrespectfully. If anything, I have a ton of respect for the balls you've shown here (maybe for other DJs it's nothing, but for me it's impressive).

The reason I'm laughing is because you remind me so much of the way I was around the age of 18-19 when I was first starting to figure out how to approach girls. I had zero idea about any of this stuff (negative zero, actually). I've recently gotten back in the game after a VERY long lay off and I've been wracking my brain trying to recall just how the hell I ever first broke out of my shell, because I am so utterly hopeless (and helpless) these days. Reading your approaches reminded of me of so many of the mistakes I made when I first started out. Somehow I pushed all this stuff out of my memory but reading your journal brought it all back.

As others have said, you ask WAY too many boring questions. It's okay to ask a few, but when they answer the real trick is to do something creative/interesting with it. I won't be of any help to you with that since I'm a complete fcckwit these days. I'm not blaming you for being stubborn, though. It's so easy to criticize from a distance, but when it's you right there on the scene, desperately trying not to say something stupid, these boring questions are VERY easy to defer to. Still, I must say, your whole series of "where are you from? oh yeah, what city? really, what part of that city? wow, what street? the top or bottom end of that street? etc" is some seriously boring bs that just gets you nowhere (even though, again, I can understand all too easily how you can fall into that trap).

 

[thechosenone2190]

hi csycpr. thanks for the feedback. from the way you put it, it sounds like i really need to work on my conversation skills. i'm making it one of my goals to stop asking "where are you from" and "what do you do" questions.

last weekend, i made about 4 approaches, all of which were fail

Approach 66
red haired hb7 is sitting on bench at park reading a book
Me: Hi are you irish?
HB7: Yes *looks up and stares straight at me with bulging eyes*
Me: I knew it. so you're 100% irish?
HB7: Nope.
Me: what else are you?
HB7: I'm also blah blah
Me: I see. *i felt like i was talking to my teacher from 5th grade or something judging from her tone of voice and body language* So what are you reading there?
HB7: It's actually a theatrical play called blah blah
Me: Oh cool. so you must be really into film and theatre and stuff like that right?
HB7: Yep. I'm actually studying film and screenplay at blah blah
Me: Neeat. How come you don't use one of these? *take out my kindle*
HB7: Oh i'm old fasioned.
Me: I see. You like to actually flip through the pages of a book and smell the book and feel the book as opposed to reading it on a screen.
HB7: Yea
Me: Yea i know what you mean. Don't you love the smell of a book?
HB7: Huh?
Me: You know. Whenever I buy a new book and i flip through the pages, i just love the smell of it. *pretend to open imaginary book up and sniff inside it* mmmmm! *i catch her about to break into laughter but holding it back in*
Me: it's pretty impressive that you're in film because i heard it's pretty competitive to break into that industry
HB7: Well it depends. what are you looking to do? *again, she's reminding me of my 5th grade teacher*
Me: Well i'm not looking to break into the industry or anything. But i have a friend in california who's interning at some film company. he's doing a lot of these short stints and unpaid internships in film. they're like more administrative assistant type gigs. so he hasn't found a permanent position within the industry. and it's just really interesting to see how he's coming along with that
HB7: Well i'm not working yet. I'm still studying it as *some art institute* but it really depends on who you know and your network of friends to support you. I'm very fortunate because my network of friends are really supportive of me and each other, so it's not that bad
Me: I see. so is it better to pursue film here in [city] or la?
HB7: It really depends on what you want to do.
Me: Oh ok cool. What's your phone number?
HB7: Sorry i have a boy friend already
Me: That's ok nice talking to you!
HB7: You too!

whew! it's a relief i didn't get a time out or anything from her

Approach 67
2 HB's are sitting next to each other on a stairway that leads into the entrance of a park. They're both playing on their smartphone or something
Me: Excuse me
HB7: *looks up*
Me: Do you know where the nearest starbucks is?
HB7: I think it's somewhere over there *points in direction behind me and goes back to texting on her iphone or something*
Me: Oh ok cool thanks. what's your name?
HB7: *while still looking down at her iphone, she gives a puzzled and annoyed look on her face. then she grins and shakes her head* my name's -- *shakes my hand quickly and goes back to playing with her smartphone*
Me: Where are you from? *if ANYONE has a better line i couldve used at this specific moment, please feel free to share. her IL is already rock bottom*
HB7: I'm from the area
Me: Oh you mean [specific part of city we're in]?
HB7: Yea
Me: Oh neaat. you must come from a really well off family background
HB7: not really
Me: So what are you doing here? just waiting for friends or something?
HB7: yea i'm actually waiting for my parents to finish shopping.
Me: Which store are they in? do you know?
HB7: i think [store] or something.
Me: Oh cool...
HB7: well it was nice meeting you bye!
Me: What's your phone number? *HB sitting next to her is giggling. i think they might be sisters*
HB7: No thank you. bye! *waves*
Me: Nice talking to you
HB7: You too!

Approach 68
3 HB's sit at the edge of a large fountain area at the park. i start walking towards them
Me: Excuse me. i lost my pet mouse here. have you guys seen it?
HB7: What! a mouse??! * she is definitely the mother hen of this group*
Me: yea, my pet mouse. i brought my small pet mouse here and i love him very much. his name is bob but i lost him here, so i'm really sad... what's your name?
HB7: --
Me: nice to meet you. i'm --. where are you from?
HB7: san francisco
Me: Oh cool. so what are you doing here?
HB7: we actually just moved in 2 days ago
Me: Oh really! Wow congratulations! Whyy? Why would you move here?
HB7: ...
Me: I'm just kidding. It's just that I hear San Francisco's weather is so good so i just wonder why anyone would want to move out of there to here
*at this instant, i encounter the BIGGEST **** block ever. a homeless guy walks over and sits beside HB on the very left*
homeless guy: Oh san fran. i've been there before. the weather is gorgeous *in a raspy voice*
HB7 *different one*: yea *if anyone knew how i could have adressed the **** block here, please ADVISE*
HB7: we actually just started work here
Me: Cool. What's your phone number? *i couldn't bring myself to keep talking to these hb's while a homeless guy was also talking to them*
HB7: I don't give out my phone number like that
Me: Ok nice talking to you *eject*
HB7: you too!

with all due respect to homeless people, he was really cramping my style here, even though i didn't have much to begin with i know i know

Approach 69
HB6 is walking with her friend in the opposite direction of me
Me: Excuse me
HB6: Yes?
Me: Do you know where the nearest starbucks is?
HB6: Hmm.... i think there's one over that way *points in direction behind me*
Me: Oh ok cool thanks
HB6: Your welcome!
Me: What's your name?
HB6: --
Me: nice to meet you --. i'm -- *start walking beside them*
HB6: I thought you were going to starbucks?
Me: oh i can go there later. *they giggle* where are you from?
HB6: Seattle
Me: Oh cool! *pause* that's in texas right?
HB6: *they giggle again* no washington
Me: oh yea that's right. do you listen to nirvana? the rock band?
HB6: not really
Me: but they're from seattle right?
HB6: yea they are
Me: yea i know seattle is pretty famous for it's rock scene. you must have been pretty underrepresented there right? since you're asian
HB6: oh no there were actually a lot of asians there
Me: oh really that's interesting. cuz i know in california there are tons of asians, but i wouldve never imagined there would be lots of asians in seattle washington... so where are you guys coming from? just finished shopping?
HB6: yea
Me: what do you have there? *gesturing with my chin to the small shopping bag she's carrying*
HB6: underwear *her friend is laughing*
Me: Oh cool i like underwear too! *hb's are laughing* i might get some later on today as well. what are you doing here in the city?
HB6: I work
Me: Cool. what kind of work do you do?
HB6: investment banking
Me: daaang what are you doing here? shouldnt you be in the office still crunching numbers? b/c i know you guys work like 140hrs / per week or something right?
HB6: *giggles* yea
Me: what bank do you work for?
HB6: [bank]
Me: niiice. where do you live?
HB6: [part of city]
Me: do you see yourself staying here in the city in the long-run? *i think i might have cut her off here when she was about to speak* i KNOW you won't be staying in ibanking for too long b/c everyone stops doing that after one or two years
HB6: *giggles* well nice meeting you! *is walking down steps into subway train station while i walked around the subway entrance*
Me: What's your phone number?
HB6: sorry!

Approaches: 69
Ph No's: 14

 

[thechosenone2190]

bad day. if you want to read about how to get rejected 8 times straight, read on. but you will also learn a very funny opener line that i used

Approach 70
HB7 sitting on bench playing with iphone
Me: Hi
HB7: Hi
Me: What's your name?
HB7: ..--
Me: Nice to meet you i'm --
HB7: Why are you talking to me?
Me: I dont know. Cause I was bored and just felt like it. So where are you from? *her IL is already rock bottom. if you guys have a better suggestion for what i could have said here, please advise*
HB7: Texas
Me: Oh Texas? that's a long way from here. what brings you here?
HB7: I work here
Me: Nice. Where do you work?
HB7: In music
Me: Oh music? Daang. that's impressive. i know it's really hard to break into that industry
HB7: Yea. what do you do?
Me: [insert short chitchat about what i do here] What do you do exactly in music? do you produce music?
HB7: No i distribute music
Me: Oh ok. so you like distribute music to places like walmart and stuff?
HB7: I distribute music for [company i never heard of]
Me: cool. What part of texas are you from?
HB7: austin
Me: oh austin? neeat. i have family there
HB7: ok
Me: i heard a lot of the houses there are gated right? they have gates surrounding the houses there?
HB7: No they don't.
Me: ok. but there's a china town in austin right?
HB7: *thinks for a split second* No there's not.
Me: oh ok
HB7: Excuse me i gotta finish this text *goes back to texting on iphone*
Me: what's your phone number?
HB7: Sorry i'm not going to give out my number
Me: alright nice meeting you

Approach 71
HB7 is standing near the entrance to the park texting on her phone.
Me: Excuse me... *she didn't notice me yet. i'm standing in front of her waiting for her to finish texting*
Me: Excuse me
HB7: Oh yes?
Me: Do you know where -- park is?
HB7: -- park? It's right here *gestures towards park entrance*
Me: Oh really? This is it? pfffff!! *shake my head* Oh my god. I'm such an idiot. I didn't know that. What's your name?
HB7: *giggles* Yes you did. You just asked me so you could talk to me.
Me: No. I really didn't, but you told me, so you seemed like a really nice person and i just wanted to get to know you better.
HB7: *giggles* yea right.
Me: What's your name?
HB7: --
Me: Nice to meet you i'm --. Where are you from?
HB7: [state]
Me: oh [state]? me too!
HB7: No you're not
Me: No i am really. *truth*
HB7: What part?
Me: Central
HB7: what city?
Me: [city] it's near [other city]
HB7: did you go to [college near that city]
Me: a lot of my friends did. what part of [state] are you from?
HB7: [city]
Me: oh! there's a lot of homeless poeple due to [blah blah bla] right? sad state of affairs
HB7: no not really
Me: oh ok. What do you do? Do you study?
HB7: yep
Me: Where do you study?
HB7: -- (really good college)
Me: Ooh niice. I hate -- university
HB7: oh I know
Me: i'm just saying that b/c i got rejected there
HB7: Yea i can tell
Me: but i did get into -- (comparable school)
HB7: oh ok!
Me: So are you an undergrad? or graduate?
HB7: No i'm in graduate school
Me: What are you studying?
HB7: I'm getting my (some advanced degreee) in film
Me: Oh coool. So you want to be like the next steven spielberg or something like that rihgt?
HB7: Nope i want to do post production editing
Me: Oh ok cool. I know it's uh really difficult to break into that industry. right?
HB7: Well i'm still studying so i can't really say
Me: Oh okay. I have this friend in LA who's trying to break into the film industry. He's doing all these side gigs and temp jobs, but he hasn't found like a really permanent stable job there.
HB7: Well i'm actually interning at [blah blah blah]
Me: Oh niiice! That's really good experience for you to pad you resume and get your foot in the door... *she looked like she was about to leave* so what are you doing here today? just shopping?
HB7: Yea
Me: What's your phone number?
HB7: sorry no haha
Me: ok nice meeting you

Approach 72
2 HB's are sitting on the bench at crowded park chatting with each other. After I walk past them and stare at them for a while, I make a u-turn around and walk back towards them.
Me: Excuse me
HB7: Yes?
Me: Do you know where -- park is?
HB7: It's here
Me: Oh really?
HB7: Yea
Me: oh my god! *slap head* I was walking around lost, and it was here all along. so stupid of me *shake head* What's your name?
HB7: *both hb's giggle* -- *shake hands*
Me: So what were you guys chatting about?
HB7: *hb's quickly glance at each other* oh you know
Me: Oh i see. typical drama stuff right?
HB7: not really. it was just about a last night
Me: You guys were partying really hard last night or something?
HB7: *giggles* no. it's not that. it was something minor.
Me: Oh okay. so what do you guys do? you go to school?
HB7: yea
Me: Here at -- university?
HB7: yep
Me: You guys are undergraduates?
HB7: yea
Me: Which school at -- university? the college? business school?
HB7: [art school division]
Me: Oh i see. you guys are the really artsy types. right?
HB7: *light chuckle* yea
Me: What kind of art do you do?
HB7: painting and drawinng. and i also dance
Me: Oh niiice. and you? *directed to other hb7 sitting next to her*
HB7: [blah blah blah]
Me: Cool... *couldn't think of anything to say* what's your phone number?
HB7: Sorry i don't give out my number to strangers
Me: oh ok. what about you? *to other hb7 sitting next to her*
HB7b: *shakes head, while other hb is giggling*
Me: Nice meeting you!
HB7: You too!

they seemed really receptive to me during this conversation, which was unfamiliar territory to me. i must admit, it caught me off guard. sadly, i'm not very used to 2 hb7's listening intently to me, both smiling and laughing at my korniness. i was also afraid i would lose their interest real soon, which was why i went for the number so quickly. i got to start opening sets more often and start thinking i'm the ****. plus, being that they were a few years younger than me was probably another reason why they were more receptive to me i think

Approach 73
3 HB's are sitting on the bench at the park. Same deal as previous approach. I make a U-turn after checking them out and walk towards the set
Me: Excuse me
HB7: *looks up*
Me: Do you know where -- park is?
HB7: ... *sips on drink while hb's sitting beside her are bursting out in laughter*
HB7: ...uh we're here at -- park right now
Me: Oh really? What? Oh my god! and all this time i was walking around lost like an idiot looking for -- park when it was right here all along!. *slap forehead and shake head* so silly of me. What's your name?
HB7: ... *not even looking at me. she is just staring straight ahead while holding her drink. hb's sitting next to her are still having a very hard time containing their laughter. they're shaking with laughter*
Me: What's your phone number?
HB7: ... *more laughter in background*
Me: nice meeting you *eject*

meh. you guys have any ideas on how i could have handled this differently?

Approach 74 (WIERD)
HB6.5 is standing outside of a bookstore holding her gigantic dog on a leash and coffee in other hand
Me: excuse me. do you know where the bookstore is?
HB6.5: it's right here
Me: oh my god *slap forehead* i'm such an idiot. *shake my head* what's your name?
HB6.5: hahaha. can you do me a favor? can you hold my dog while i go in to buy a book?
Me: Sorry i can't do that *eject*
HB6.5: oh okay

That was one of the most RANDOM requests i've ever gotten from a stranger. WEIRD. it would have also be kind of degrading for me to do that. don't you guys think?

Approach 75
HB6.5 is eating chocolate cake out of a small container while waiting at the bus stop. she is standing against the wall
Me: Excuse me. do you know where [neighborhood] is? *meanwhile, we were standing dead center in that neighborhood*
*an elderly couple standing beside her are saying something to me out loud. i ignored them. they were probably telling i was in [neighborhood] already*
HB6.5: you're here in [neighborhood] already
Me: Oh really! *slap forehead and shake head* so stupid of me. what's your name? *elderly couple bursts out in laugher and walk closer towards me*
Me: Oh are they your parents?
Elderly wife: no! hahaha. we'll leave you two alone *they were just getting ready to leave and go somewhere else*
HB6.5: *is shaking head while holding in her laughter, has food in her mouth, spoon in one hand, cake in other, while i'm trying to shake her hand. she turns her back on me and walks a bit further away from me*

 

[thechosenone2190]

Approach 76
HB6.5 is sitting on bench at park reading book by herself. i would have given her a 7, but i could see her nose hair sticking out
Me: excuse me. do you know where -- park is?
HB6.5: this is -- park
Me: Oh really? *slap head* oh my god. silly me. what's your name?
HB6.5: --
Me: nice to meet you. i'm --. where are you from?
HB6.5: [city]
Me: This part of [city]?
HB6.5: yea
Me: woah are your parents bankers or lawyers?
HB6.5: haha no
Me: What do you do?
HB6.5: I go to school
Me: What school?
HB6.5: -- *same school as hb in approach 71*
Me: Niiice. i'm not a big fan of -- university. b/c i got rejected from there. but i did get into [comparable school]
HB6.5: ok
Me: your school has a gorgeous campus
HB6.5: yea
Me: what are you studying?
HB6.5: english
Me: Oh cool. you want to be writer or something?
HB6.5: i don't know what i want to do yet. i'm just a sophomore
Me: Yea that's cool. you're following your passion. you're studying what you enjoy. and as long as you keep your gpa up, you can do almost anything
HB6.5: yea
Me: what are you reading there?
HB6.5: [book's title]
Me: What is it about?
HB6.5: [book's title]
Me: oh okay
HB6.5: it's about doctor -- blah blah blah *goes into a bit more detail about book; she is very shy*
Me: Cool. Have you read Abraham lincoln vampire slayer?
HB6.5: what book? vampire slayer? No i haven't
Me: What about hunger games?
HB6.5: No
Me: What! you haven't ready hunger games! darn. do you have a kindle?
HB6.5: i do. it's at home
Me: oh cool. but you're old fashioned right? you like to read from a book and flip through the pages?
HB6.5: no i said i have a kindle. it's just at home... well listen i gotta get back to reading
Me: Oh okay. what's your phone number?
HB6.5: sorry i don't give out my number to strangers
Me: no worries. nice meeting you!

Approach 77 (she number-closed me)
HB7 is sitting with her friend at park just staring at the fountain. i make u-turn again after checking her out and walk towards her
Me: Excuse me.
HB7: yes?
Me: Do you know where -- park is?
HB7: yea it's right here
Me: Oh really? *slaps head* oh my god. i'm so stupid. what's your name? *my delivery of this opener with repetition is getting worse i know*
HB7: --
Me: Nice to meet you. i'm --. what are you doing here. just enjoying weather? the weather is beautiful *stuttered a little here due to nervousness and inability to form complete sentences; then i look up and around enjoying the scene*
HB7: yea
Me: where are you from?
HB7: from here
Me: oh [city]?
HB7: yea
Me: Cool. what part?
HB7: [specific division of city]
Me: Oh neeat. you're from the really well off area in [city division] right? like [neighborhood]?
HB7: no. not there. i'm from more the [other area] in [specific division of city]. it's near [airport]
Me: is that near [neighborhood]?
HB7: ...yea it is!
Me: cool. do you like hip hop?
HB7: yea i like hip hop
Me: I love hip hop music from that [division] of city. [rapper], [rapper], and [rapper]
HB7: yea. and don't forget [rapper]
Me: oh he's from [division of city]?
HB7: yea. at least i think so
Me: i thought he was from [other part of city]
HB7: no i think she's from [specific neighborhood]
Me: oh yea that's right. you're probably right. what do you do? do you go to school?
HB7: yea i go to -- college
Me: Niiice. that's a really underrepresented college. i know it's a really good school, even though you don't hear about it much *stuttered a bit here. i was kind of talking out of my a$$)
HB7: yea

(FREEZE! at this point, i noticed a small brown spot on the inside of her bottom lip. it looked sort of like this:
http://www.skinsight.com/images/dx/webAdult/oralMelanoticMacule_38895_lg.jpg
i thought it was herpes or a cold sore or some std that i didn't want to have anything to do with. it wasn't until later tonight i discovered it looked nothing like any of those std's. i'm so mad at myself now. GGRRRR well anyways back to the story. i decided to eject at this point due to my extreme lack of medical knowledge, but i would still go for her number just out of habit)

Me: What's your phone number?
HB7: why do you want my number?

(this is what they call a s*** test right? i really didn't feel like trying to pass her stupid little test, thinking that she had an std on her lip, but amazingly i did pull the biggest load of crap out my arse in response to her question)

Me: I want to borrow $50. i promise ill pay you back. just give me your phone number. *with cheesy smile on my face. this was by far the CHEESIEST and WORST time for me to whip out this stupid a$$ pick up line. like i said, i was talking out of my arse. i also stuttered a bit saying this, and at the same time i wasn't looking to get infected with an std)

HB7: but i don't have $50 on me
Me: *shake my head in disbelief at how lame my reply was. then sigh looking up away from her*
HB7: here how about this. you give me your number
Me: Sure it's --
HB7: hold on. *reaches into bag for her phone*
Me: --
HB7: got it
Me: nice meeting you!
HB7: you too!

Approaches: 77
Ph No's: 14

To everyone who has constructive criticism for me, I am still here with open arms. it is still welcome and much appreciated. i'm ready for the onslaught of constructive criticisms on my slew of approaches. but, if possible, could you guys please provide specific examples of how i could have done things differently in my approaches? so i know exactly what and where i can improve upon? for example, what exactly could have i said differently here or there in my conversations? thanks in advance

 

[AAAgent]

You can try this line:

HB: Why are you asking me for my number? (or anything related to this)

DJ: Because i'd like to take you out on a date/dinner/lunch, etc.

HB: I don't give my numbers out to strangers, sorry.

DJ: (I pull out my phone and open up the dial pad and hand it to her)
I'd like to take you out to dinner so I can get to know you and that way we won't be strangers anymore.

Generally works well.

 

[thechosenone2190]

yea if i ever get that question again, ill respond with that. pretty logical

 

[ARrocket]

Do you generally get good responses when opening up a group (more than one) of girls? Like the bikini chick...you go in interested in one girl, how does the other girl react?

 

[thechosenone2190]

the other girl in the bikini was cool. wasn't annoyed. was smiling and giggling along. i guess when i said i wasn't used to a group of girls showing so much interest in me, i mispoke. what really went on in my head was that i was not enjoying any success until i approached the set of 2 girls in approach 72. those 2 conveyed way more interest than any of the hb's i approached earlier that day, which was unfamiliar territory for me. it's hard for me to understand why sets of hb's would be moer interested in me than individual hb's i approached before them.

 

[thechosenone2190]

Approach 78
HB6.5 at telephone booth was waiting outside for her friend. She displayed low IL. When I went for her number, she told me she had a boyfriend already.

Approach 79
HB7 and her friend were sitting at the park.
Me: Excuse me
HB7: Yes?
Me: Do you know where -- park is?
HB7: This is -- park
Me: Oh *slaps head* my god
HB's giggle
Me: What's your name
HB7: --
Me: So do you work here?
HB7: Nope
Me: Do you study here?
HB7: Nope
Me: Are you here on vacation?
HB7: Yep
Me: Oh where are you from then?
HB7: Germany
Me: Niice. my co-worker is from Germany too
HB7: Oh where is she from?
Me: Um... this place in the middle of Germany
HB7: In the middle of Germany huh?
Me: Yea
HB7: haha even i know that this is -- park.
Me: Yea you're more american than me! it's like you're a native here!
HB7: haha
Me: I know that Audi is from Germany
HB7: Audi?
Me: Yea audi the car company
HB7: Oh audi yep
Me: great car company. i also know how to say yes in germany.
HB7: how do you say it?
Me: jah
HB7: jah? mmhmm
Me: So you said you're just here for a week? or 2 weeks?
HB7: Yea just a week
Me: you're not an exchange student?
HB7: no i'm not
Me: wow you must be rich right?
HB7: *exchanges glance with friend* oh yes very rich haha
Me: What do you do in Germany? Do you study? or work?
HB7: I'm still studying
Me: What do you study?
HB7: european history
Me: Niice. Why don't you be an exchange student here? I'm sure there are study abroad programs for you to come here and study. there are lots of schools here like -- and -- university that i'm sure have programs like these
HB7: I would love that, but you see the thing is i'm just finishing up my masters degree. this is my last semester, so there's not really any chance left for me to study abroad
Me: Oh ok.
HB7: what do you do?
Me: blah blah blah... what's your phone number? *smile*
HB7: Eh no sorry haha
Me: Nice meeting you
HB7: you too

Approaches: 79
Ph No's: 14