My Approach Journal

[thechosenone2190]

Approach 29 (meh)

HB7 is standing against a fence waiting for someone at a park.
Me: Hi! *while walking towards her*
HB7: Hi!
Me: I thought you were really cute and I just wanted to say hi
HB7: Haha
Me: What's up with the piercing on your nose? When'd you get it?
HB7: Hm lemme see... I got it on December of 2011.
Me: Are you gothic or something?
HB7: No. I don't know. I just one day decided to get a piercing on my nose. You know.
Me: My parents would kill me if got a piercing like that
HB7: Yea my parents were like that too at the beginning, but then they just let me get it.
Me: Oh i see. so you're parents are really laid back. They just let you do your own thing
HB7: Yea blah blah blah since I'm in college, they let me do whatever I want
Me: You go to [city] university?
HB7: No i go to [other] university.
Me: Oh that's quite a ride there
HB7: Yea it is
Me: oh I see you're home for the summer right?
HB7: Yea
Me: Is [other] university near [town a]?
HB7: [town a]?
Me: Is it near [mall]?
HB7: Yea it's about a 15 min car ride to [mall]
Me: ok cool. I used to go to school in [city] and had an internship in [town a], which is right near [mall]. That place has a lot of white people *in a joking way* (meanwhile HB7 is white too lol)
HB7: Yea that's so true. That's why I like it better here in [city] where it's diverse with people from all different cultures.
Me: [other] university is like a liberal arts school right?
HB7: Well.. yea and they have a law school, engineering, business school. So it's not just liberal arts.
Me: Cool. Listen i gotta go but let me give you a call sometime. What's your phone number?
HB7: Oh well the thing is... I don't give my phone number out to strangers. But I can give you my facebook!
Me: Oh well it was nice meeting you *smile*
HB7: Oh you don't want my facebook?
Me: No I'm alright. But it was nice meeting you! *smile and wave*
HB7: oh ok you too!

Approaches: 29
Ph No's: 3
Facebook: 1

 

[thechosenone2190]

Approach 30

HB7 is sitting across the aisle from me on the train that I just got on. I scoot over to my left, lean towards her and...
Me: Excuse me. I thought you were really cute and I just wanted to say hi.
HB7: Oh haha
Me: So where are you headed?
HB7: I'm sorry what?
Me: I said I thought you were really cute and I just wanted to say hi
HB7: Oh haha. I'm headed to work in [city] as a part-time [assistant of some sort]
Me: Oh cool what's your name?
HB7: --
Me: Nice to meet you. I'm --.

Conversation was a bore. We had very little in common. Conversation often came to a lull, but we still kept it going throughout the 40 minute train ride. I learned about her major, her irish and italian roots, her taste in classical and ska music, her career plans, where she goes to school, her sister's plans to stay in college an extra year, the town she grew up in, jersey shore TV show, where she is working this summer, and how sketchy the city that she works in is etc. She told me a story about how once, while walking to or from work in the city, a short guy approached her from behind with the same line I used and asked for her phone number, which creeped her out. I was like "hey that's what i did", while scratching the back of my head. She also commented about how weird the people on the train are, while a ton of passengers crowded onto the train at a stop; she also added "i don't mean you" at the end of this remark. Likewise, I talked a bit about where I went to school, where I work, and experiences I had in the city.

When we finally arrived at our last train stop, I let her step onto the aisle to exit first. As we walked on to the platform, I whipped out my phone and...

Me: "Hey what's your phone number?"
HB7: Oh sure! it's --
Me: Got it
HB7: Text me so I have yours too! (leaves)
Me: Will do

Fast forward 2 days laters, when I finally text her. Our conversation via text happened like this:
Me: Hey -- this is --, guy from the train. Happy 4th of July! How are you?
HB7: Hey --! I'm doing fine, just doing typical 4th of July stuff lol
Me: You mean nothing right? Jk though that is what i'm doing on 4th of july. you free this friday or saturday around 7?
HB7: I'm actually not, sorry I have plans Friday and a Grad party Saturday
Me: That's cool. You free any other day?
HB7: I'm really really sorry I probably shouldn't, I've been in a serious relationship for a while and I don't think he would like to see me out with a guy I just met. I'm so flattered that you noticed me and you're very cute and nice, I'm just taken at the moment, I'm sorry about that
Me: No worries! I wish you the best

Approaches: 30
Ph No's: 4
Facebook: 1

forever alone...

 

[AAAgent]

forever stallone...

sike. Props man for keeping this up. Atleast you both had class in this last number grab. She straight up told you she had a man which is nice to know and not waste your time, and you weren't an ******* about it. Like your class.

Keep it up.

---

Also props on your improvement. I just read through your entire journal and you can clearly see your conversation skills slowly improving. Also you experience may be increasing you chances of having conversations. I'm going to start an Approach Anxiety competition soon (3rd one). check it out.

Also, you should probably start preparing on answering what are you doing here question. I'm not a great liar so when i do go out hunting for day game, i always also have a main objective like grocery shopping, errands, meeting up with friends, etc.

 

[spinaroonie]

Approach 30

HB7 is sitting across the aisle from me on the train that I just got on. I scoot over to my left, lean towards her and...
Me: Excuse me. I thought you were really cute and I just wanted to say hi.
HB7: Oh haha
Me: So where are you headed?
HB7: I'm sorry what?
Me: I said I thought you were really cute and I just wanted to say hi
HB7: Oh haha. I'm headed to work in [city] as a part-time [assistant of some sort]
Me: Oh cool what's your name?
HB7: --
Me: Nice to meet you. I'm --.

Conversation was a bore. We had very little in common. Conversation often came to a lull, but we still kept it going throughout the 40 minute train ride. I learned about her major, her irish and italian roots, her taste in classical and ska music, her career plans, where she goes to school, her sister's plans to stay in college an extra year, the town she grew up in, jersey shore TV show, where she is working this summer, and how sketchy the city that she works in is etc. She told me a story about how once, while walking to or from work in the city, a short guy approached her from behind with the same line I used and asked for her phone number, which creeped her out. I was like "hey that's what i did", while scratching the back of my head. She also commented about how weird the people on the train are, while a ton of passengers crowded onto the train at a stop; she also added "i don't mean you" at the end of this remark. Likewise, I talked a bit about where I went to school, where I work, and experiences I had in the city.

When we finally arrived at our last train stop, I let her step onto the aisle to exit first. As we walked on to the platform, I whipped out my phone and...

Me: "Hey what's your phone number?"
HB7: Oh sure! it's --
Me: Got it
HB7: Text me so I have yours too! (leaves)
Me: Will do

Fast forward 2 days laters, when I finally text her. Our conversation via text happened like this:
Me: Hey -- this is --, guy from the train. Happy 4th of July! How are you?
HB7: Hey --! I'm doing fine, just doing typical 4th of July stuff lol
Me: You mean nothing right? Jk though that is what i'm doing on 4th of july. you free this friday or saturday around 7?
HB7: I'm actually not, sorry I have plans Friday and a Grad party Saturday
Me: That's cool. You free any other day?
HB7: I'm really really sorry I probably shouldn't, I've been in a serious relationship for a while and I don't think he would like to see me out with a guy I just met. I'm so flattered that you noticed me and you're very cute and nice, I'm just taken at the moment, I'm sorry about that
Me: No worries! I wish you the best

Approaches: 30
Ph No's: 4
Facebook: 1

forever alone...

Lies! She chats with you for 40 minutes, never once mentions her bf and enthusiastically gives you her number only to drop the boyfriend bomb 2 days later via text?

Theee ways you could have salvaged this:
1) Hint at meeting up for coffee before going for the close.
2) Don't wait 2 days, text her the same night while she has the emotional high of your initial interaction.
3) Don't push for the date straight away. Warm her up over text a bit first.

 

[macallik]

Approach 30

HB7 is sitting across the aisle from me on the train that I just got on. I scoot over to my left, lean towards her and...
Me: Excuse me. I thought you were really cute and I just wanted to say hi.
HB7: Oh haha
Me: So where are you headed?

Has nothing to do with getting to know her and getting her interested in you. That is why she was taken aback and asked you to repeat yourself. It is an autopilot question that we blurt out without thinking during the approach but try to stop yourself next time. Your focus should be on showing personality and figuring out what kind of girl she is. You don't need to figure out what she had planned for the day just yet. Perhaps if you are considering an insta-date if things are going well...
HB7: I'm sorry what?
Me: I said I thought you were really cute and I just wanted to say hi
HB7: Oh haha. I'm headed to work in [city] as a part-time [assistant of some sort]
Me: Oh cool what's your name?

Read this. You shouldn't talk for the sake of talking, you need to be figuring out more about her with each question and they should be related somehow so it doesn't sound like an interrogation or too intrusive
HB7: --
Me: Nice to meet you. I'm --.

Conversation was a bore.

Is that your fault or hers? WHen she says she works in [city] as a part time [job] you need to make some type of comment about these things. What is it like when she is in [city]? I heard all the girls from [city] are really slvtty? Are the people in [city] exactly like the people here? Etc

We had very little in common. Conversation often came to a lull, but we still kept it going throughout the 40 minute train ride. I learned about her major, her irish and italian roots, her taste in classical and ska music, her career plans, where she goes to school, her sister's plans to stay in college an extra year, the town she grew up in, jersey shore TV show, where she is working this summer, and how sketchy the city that she works in is etc. She told me a story about how once, while walking to or from work in the city, a short guy approached her from behind with the same line I used and asked for her phone number, which creeped her out. I was like "hey that's what i did", while scratching the back of my head. She also commented about how weird the people on the train are, while a ton of passengers crowded onto the train at a stop; she also added "i don't mean you" at the end of this remark.

It looks like you actually had a fighting chance and she was opening up to you. Something tells me you are not going into enough depth with the subjects though. When she says that her sister is going into college for an extra year, you could redirect the convo back to the target:
- Have you been to college?
- Why not/how was it
- Did you take something practical or did you follow your passions?
- What kind of girl were you in college? Was it your first time being social and outgoing or have you always been like that?
- Do you see yourself doing anything with your degree?
- Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

These are all personal questions that she opened the door to by bringing up her sister going to college. You had a chance to get deeper rapport and find out how she ticks and what kind of person she is but you need to remember to ask the right questions

Likewise, I talked a bit about where I went to school, where I work, and experiences I had in the city.

Remember that you are talking based on what responses she gives you. If she tells you that she was the nerdy kid in school, conveniently 'leave out' the fact that you were a bully, etc. The point is not to talk, but to subtlely mention the things the two of you have in common that makes her interested in spending time with someone similar to her

When we finally arrived at our last train stop, I let her step onto the aisle to exit first. As we walked on to the platform, I whipped out my phone and...

Me: "Hey what's your phone number?"
HB7: Oh sure! it's --
Me: Got it
HB7: Text me so I have yours too! (leaves)
Me: Will do

Fast forward 2 days laters, when I finally text her. Our conversation via text happened like this:
Me: Hey -- this is --, guy from the train. Happy 4th of July! How are you?
HB7: Hey --! I'm doing fine, just doing typical 4th of July stuff lol
Me: You mean nothing right? Jk though that is what i'm doing on 4th of july. you free this friday or saturday around 7?
HB7: I'm actually not, sorry I have plans Friday and a Grad party Saturday
Me: That's cool. You free any other day?
HB7: I'm really really sorry I probably shouldn't, I've been in a serious relationship for a while and I don't think he would like to see me out with a guy I just met. I'm so flattered that you noticed me and you're very cute and nice, I'm just taken at the moment, I'm sorry about that
Me: No worries! I wish you the best

Tough break. Flakes happen to the best of us. Sometimes waiting two days isn't ideal. It is a case-by-case deal. Also, you might want to reestablish rapport before attempting to set up date next time. The first convo wasn't bad, but I didn't get the impression she was anxiously waiting by the phone for you to call so she is probably not anxiously waiting for you to set up a date either.
Approaches: 30
Ph No's: 4
Facebook: 1

forever alone...
Kill that sh!t. You are better than a vast majority of the board because you are out there trying. Everyone starts out rusty initially. Just keep trying to improve and work on your game. Also, remind yourself that you did certain things well:
- whipping your phone out while asking for the number
- approaching in the first place
- Holding a conversation for 40 minutes
- Attempting a direct approach

Keep em coming

 

[evan12]

hi man , I have read a lot of your approaches , you are missing many things
you are not being sexy or fun , and you are showing that you are man enough
you are more on polite side which women not feel attracted.
your opener is nice but the rest is boring to any girl ,
not every man can be funny but every man can be sexy because it is our animal side
when you meet a girl next time , try to talk about her body like , her dress ,her hair , etc
then when she start smiling and laughing, try to do small touches quickly like hitting her arm after she say some thing funny , etc

for being more manly you have to talk to her not as pleaser but as hunter , try to demonstrate value for your self , and don't tell her "my parent will kill me "
hope that help

 

[thechosenone2190]

Approach 31

I'm sitting on a subway train reading my Kindle. The train reaches a stop, and a HB7 walks in and sits down across from me. After hesitating for about 2 minutes, I finally gather enough guts to stand up and walk literally 2 steps towards her and...
Me: Hey. I know we're on the train, and I don't normally do this but I thought you were really cute and I just wanted to say hi.
HB7: Oh... ok! haha Thank you!
Me: What's your name?
HB7: --
Me: Nice to meet you I'm --. *shake hands* Where are you from?
HB7: Central [state]
Me: What town?
HB7: -- (same town as HB in Approach 30! Both HB's are only 2 years apart too! I was tempted to ask her if she knew HB from Approach 30, but I thought to myself that probably wouldn't be very smart)
Me: Oh cool! That's like a really good area! Right?
HB7: Yea I guess. Where are you from?
Me: -- (township near hers)
HB7: Oh you're really close
Me: Yeah I know... Do you go to school or something?
HB7: Yea I go [college].
Me: Are you a sophomore or junio?
Hb7: I'm a senior there.
Me: So you're just coming back from work or something?
HB7: Yea I'm an intern at [company]
[fast forward a bit, just skipping our chitchat about work]
Me: What is your major?
HB7: Advertising and PR
Me: Oh cool. I heard that your school is merging with [other school], and a lot of people are angry about that. Did you hear about that?
HB7: Yea. I used to do telemarketing for my school, and a lot of people complained about that
Me: WHat kind of telemarketing did you do?
HB7: I used to call our school's alumni
Me: Like soliciting donations and stuff?
HB7: Yea
Me: Isn't that illegal?
HB7: No. What we did was legal.
Me: It was a part time a job?
HB7: Yea. It was paid, and even some of my friends did it too. Just a gig to earn extra cash on the side you know. it was nice
Me: Oh ok cool. yea that's nice. So suppose you were to call me. What would I hear you say. Ring ring *put hand to my ear like a phone*... Are you going to say "hi is this [my name]"
HB7: Hi. I'm calling from the --
Me: Sorry not interested *hang up* haha I bet you get a lot of that
HB7: Oh yea. All the time... You've gotten calls like that before haven't you?
Me: No I actually haven't
HB7: When did you graduate?
Me: Last year, which is probably why
HB7: Yea that's probably why... Where did you go to school?
Me: --
HB7: --?
Me: no --.
HB7: I don't know where that is
Me: That's alright. Isn't your school one of the top public universities?
HB7: It's getting better
Me: Oh ok... What are your hobbies and interests?
HB7: I like go snowboarding, skiing, (a ton of dangerous outside activites; made me feel like a wimp since i did none of them)
Me: Oh cool. Did you hear about Usher and his son?
HB7: Who? Usher?
Me: Yea Usher has a son, and he got brain damage from jet skiing. He's brain dead
HB7: I didn't even know Usher had a son
Me: Yep. Now you know he has a son and it's a sad story! (train comes to a halt)
HB7: Hold on (stands up and walks off the train; i follow behind her)
Me: What's your phone number?
HB7? Oh sure. It's --
Me: Got it. (HB7 is walking away but turns her head back again; not sure whether she should leave)
Me: It was nice talking to you! *wave*
HB7: You too!

I was nervous as hell throughout the conversation, since I've never approached a HB inside a Subway car, where everyone near you can hear everything you say. Plus, she gave absolutely ZERO IOI's during our conversation. I now realize that HB's give out phone numbers like free guest passes to a gym. They're so easy to get but really don't mean squat. I know I didn't have any game in this convo b/c I was so damn nervous. I didn't want to look like a fool in front of everyone on the crowded Subway car. Not that I ever did have any game to begin with...

Approaches: 31
Ph No's: 5
Facebook: 1


Thanks for the feedback everyone.

@AAAgent: Thanks. I've definitely thought about doing the competition before. I'm just not sure if I can keep up to pace with it. I'll definitely look into it

@spinaroonie: I thought so too when I first received that text. She must have been really desparate to look for some excuse to reject me

@macallik: i don't mean to sound like a troll or anything, but it's pretty cool receiving feedback from the likes of you. i've browsed through your journal before, and your feedback really means a lot to me no homo

@evan12: yes i know i know. i have to be more interesting... i've heard this before. i'm working on it

@zebco96: working on that too

 

[thechosenone2190]

so the next night, i text her

Me: Hey this is the guy you met on the train yesterday. How are you? Sorry I can't remember your name very clearly is it --?
HB7: Heyy no ha its --. Yours is -- right? (she got my name right. i only got the first letter of her name right)
Me: Wrong my name is barak obama. And i knew your name i was just testing you. Did you work today?
HB7: Ha rightt. Yea i did. I go in monday tuesday and wednesdays!
Me: Got it. It sounds like you're free on saturday or friday around 7pm right?
HB7: Depends on what week your talking about haha.
Me: I'm talking about the same week you're talking about. Which is.... You know the answer just say it
HB7: What? I'm confused. Ha this weekend? I cant this weekend
Me: Duh we were talking about next saturday at 7pm right?
HB7: Maybee!

(I made up my mind to NEXT her at this point, but 30 minutes later she texted me again...)

HB7: Saturdays my roomates family party that i told her id go to...
Me: No worries! Do you still want to hang out some other time?
HB7: Yeaa. Sorry if i'm awkward ha ive never talked to someone i just meet like this before. And i was completely caught off guard when you came up to me yesterday haha
Me: I'm in the same boat! It's not like i talk to random people on the train all the time.
HB7: True. You could be a serial killer though. Just kidding.. Ha!
Me: So could you for all i know!
HB7: I totally am
Me: Ok i'll tell my parents to call the cops if they don't hear back from me in two days after we meet. So when are you free? Hopefully i'm not on your hit list
HB7: You might be on my hit list..um well maybe saturday if i decide to ditch my roomates thing.
Me: Let me know when you've made up your mind on whether to put a hit on me or not. i'll stand by
HB7: Alrightt haha do you have a facebook?
Me: Facebook.com/--
HB7: Ill request you when im home. Lol im at my friends house and dont have a smart phone.


i know i know guys. you have a name for people like her. they're called attention *****s (AW for short). i'm not texting her again until she texts me back. if you guys know a better way for me to go about this, i'm all ears. i believe this is a lost cause

 

[AAAgent]

not too bad in the convo, i've been through worse and better ones but you'll get better with repetition.

I like how you're keeping it direct and friendly as that's what i'm used to but what i think you should practice on is giving her less of a chance to reject you. Your convo had so many opportunities for her to flake on you but she just decided not to which is a sign of interest (ding ding).

By saying she's free around fri/sat at 7pm just makes it real easier for her to say no. I would just say this weekend in general. You can make it more specific by adding "weekend evening".

She doesn't seem like a AW, seems normal atm, but she was confused as you were just conflicting with her schedule and she's probably never been hit on at the train like that.

I would say don't write her off yet and treat her normally. Closing a sale is all about giving them as few opportunities to reject you as possible but also don't bend over backwards for her.


Props though, i've seen a few smoking girls alone on the train and i just never had the balls to approach because i was afraid of people staring at me.

 

[SoSuave666]

All you are doing is asking interview type questions. You need to step up the secksual vibes and get her invested in the conversation. The text game was OK.

Try a different opener man. Just walking up to a chick because she's cute isn't going to give you a high success rate. Try to engage her based on surroundings or something of that nature. What is she reading? What is she wearing? Where are you guys? Think outside the box a little.

 

[macallik]

^^^ Hmmm. I thought that this approach showed improvement. There were stil times when the conversation seemed like an unrelated interrogation but I actually laughed out loud when thechosenone did the role playing on the train and then hung up on her as soon as she went into the telemarketing script.

(I made up my mind to NEXT her at this point, but 30 minutes later she texted me again...)

You are letting your insecurities get in the way of the game. She is not stumbling over herself to try and fvck you but most girls aren't at this time. With that said, when a girl reinitiates conversation via text that is generally a moderately strong indication of some kind of interest.

Most females give their numbers to guys to avoid confrontation face to face and then blow you off by not responding to text messages. It has happened to me plenty of times. However your chick didn't do that.

HB7: Yeaa. Sorry if i'm awkward ha ive never talked to someone i just meet like this before. And i was completely caught off guard when you came up to me yesterday haha
Me: I'm in the same boat! It's not like i talk to random people on the train all the time.
HB7: True. You could be a serial killer though. Just kidding.. Ha!
Me: So could you for all i know!
HB7: I totally am
Me: Ok i'll tell my parents to call the cops if they don't hear back from me in two days after we meet. So when are you free? Hopefully i'm not on your hit list

You nexted her prematurely. She is innocent until proven guilty, don't bring all of these negative thoughts into the equation like the Mature Men section of SS. Next time, ask yourself "Am I nexting her because she did X wrong or because I have the potential to have my ego bruised?"

The texting wasn't terrible or anything but I think you played it a little too fast again. She says she is awkward because she is not used to meeting guys in such a direct setting and you responded by pushing for the first date. If you could get out of your head and really listen to her you would get a lot further a lot faster. Let your curiosity lead the conversation and then use the information you receive to game her. You could have asked how she normally meets guys -> what kind of guys does she like -> what is the best date she has ever been on? Etc. Chicks like talking about this stuff but you can actually use it to your advantage as you figure out what to say to her and how to act around her.

HB7: You might be on my hit list..um well maybe saturday if i decide to ditch my roomates thing.
Me: Let me know when you've made up your mind on whether to put a hit on me or not. i'll stand by
HB7: Alrightt haha do you have a facebook?
Me: Facebook.com/--
HB7: Ill request you when im home. Lol im at my friends house and dont have a smart phone.


i know i know guys. you have a name for people like her. they're called attention *****s (AW for short). i'm not texting her again until she texts me back. if you guys know a better way for me to go about this, i'm all ears. i believe this is a lost cause

This mindset is unhelpful. She is not an attention ***** because she didn't add you to facebook within 10 minutes. She asked for your facebook. She is going to look you up on Facebook and show you to her friends and try to figure out more about you.

Again, before you write a girl off or give her a negative label, ask yourself if you have proof of it or if you are just trying to subconsciously protect your ego.

Anyways, I liked this approach and I see the progress already. Keep approaching!

 

[thechosenone2190]

Approach 32

Two HB's clearly older than me were standing at a street intersection.
Me: Excuse me
HB7a: Yes?
Me: I thought you were really cute and I just wanted to say hi
HB7a: Oh haha
Me: What's your name? *extent hand*
HB7a: *looks at friend* -- Well the thing is I have a boyfriend already
Me: Oh ok. What about your friend?
HB7a: Haha
HB7b: *while texting, looks up briefly and says* i have a boyfriend too
HB7a: Yea she has a boyfriend too
Me: ok nice meeting you

Approach 33
HB7 is crossing the street
Me: Excuse me I thought you were really cute and i just wanted to say hi
HB7: *take off earphones* yes?
Me: Where are you from?
HB7: Why are you asking me this?
Me: I said I thought you were really cute and I just wanted to say hi
HB7: Oh no *shakes head and walks off*

Please note that from this point on, I gave one of my friends 20 bucks. The deal was if I didn't approach 20 HB's, I wouldn't get the 20 bucks back. He also edged me on to approach a HB every 45 seconds, which explains why a lot of my approaches seemed rushed. He and my other friend from college were with me to witness the remainder of these approaches

Approach 34 (number closed but fake number)
At a college dorm, HB6.5 and 2 of her friends are signing out of the building. I lean on one elbow over the counter facing her and
Me: Excuse me
HB6.5: Oh yes?
Me: I thought you were really cute and I just wanted to say hi
HB6.5: *giggles from the set*
Me: What's your name?
HB6.5: --
Me: Do you go to school here?
HB6.5: No i'm just here visiting friends
Me: where are you from?
HB6.5: Alabama
Me: Oh wow that's really long drive to here
HB6.5: Yea it is
*HB's all begin leaving. I follow*
Me: where are you guys headed?
HB6.5: We're going shopping
Me: Oh ok. Wait What's your number?
HB6.5: *stops in her tracks while her friends keep on walking* ok it's --
Me: Thanks

note: i later discovered it was fake

Approach 35 (number closed)
HB8 is standing near a telephone booth. She just got off a call on her cell phone and is walking in my direction
Me: Excuse me
HB8: Yes?
Me: I thought you were really cute
HB8: Oh thank you.
Me: What's your name?
HB8: -- sorry but I have to get going
Me: ok what's your number?
HB8: it's --
Me: --?
HB8: no --
Me: got it

Approach 36
HB6 is walking in a direction opposite to me. Wouldn't have approached her under normal circumstances, but my friend kept pushing to make another approach while walking down the street in the city
Me: Excuse me *wait a while until she finally stops and faces me*
Me: I thought you were really cute and i just wanted to say hi
HB6: Oh ok
Me: What's your name?
HB6: --
Me: Where are you from?
HB6: --
Me: oh cool. What are you doing here in the city?
HB6: --
Me: Cool i do -- which is kinda similar right?
HB6: i guess... i gotta get going sorry
Me: What's your phone number?
HB6: i don't give out my number to strangers sorry!
Me: no worries

Approach 37 (number closed)
While my friend is still pushing me to make more approaches within the 45 second time limit, I approach another HB6 that I normally wouldn't approach sitting along the sidewalk texting.
Me: excuse me
HB6: yes?
Me: I thought you were really cute and i just wanted to say hi
HB6: Oh ok
blah blah i number close her, not really proud of this one

Approach 38
My friend is pushing me to make another approach. A HB7 is holding a pen and paper soliciting people to sign up for something with another older lady
Me: Excuse me
HB7: Yes?
Me: I thought you were really cute, and I just wanted to say hi
old lady: excuse me but we're currently in the middle of something. we'll be done in a minute and then you can speak with her
Me: Oh ok, but wait what's your phone number?
HB7: we're actually in the middle of filming something so I can't talk to you now
Me: Oh ok

Approach 39
HB7 is sitting on the steps texting someone
Me: Excuse me (tap on arm) I thought you were really cute and I just wanted to say hi
HB7: oh! haha ok thank you!
Me: What's your name?
HB7: --
Me: nice to meet you i'm -- (crouch down so I'm on the same level as her) Where are you from?
HB7: Chicago
Me: Oh really? That's a long way from here
HB7: yea i'm just here for the summer interning
Me: oh what do you do?
HB7: *something to do with film i thiiink*
Me: Oh ok. Have you ever been to hot diggity dog?
HB7: hot diggity dog? no
Me: it's this really famous hotdog place in chicago
HB7: yea me being from chicago, i don't know a lot of the biggest attraction sites there
Me: That's alright. What are you doing here? just chilling?
HB7: Oh i'm just waiting for some friends
Me: Oh ok. where are you guys headed?
HB7: we're just going to go shopping
Me: cool. what's your phone number?
HB7: Sorry i have a boyfriend. i should've told you earlier
Me: It's alright no worries. nice meeting you!

Approach 40 (number closed)
The second hottest HB I've approached today is sitting on the bench at the park with friends (the hottest HB today was approach 35) I walk up to her and very directly facing towards her
Me: Excuse me
HB7.5: yes?
Me: I thought you were really cute and i just wanted to say hi
HB7.5: Oh haha thank you!
Me: Where are you from?
HB7.5: Texas
Me: Oh really! That's quite a long way from here
HB7.5: Yea i'm just here visiting my friends
Me: Oh ok cool. What part of Texas are you from?
HB7.5: Houston that area
Me: Oh houston! You guys took jeremy lin from us
HB7.5: Who?
Me: jeremy lin, he's a really good basketball player who used to play for the knicks. now he's going to houston
Hb7.5's friend who is also really hot: he's talking about linsanity. you remember? basketball
HB7.5: linsanity? i still don't know what you're talking about
Me: That's ok. I forgive you. What's your phone number?
HB7.5: sure it's --
Me: Cool nice meeting you
HB7.5: *as I'm walking away* Wait! what's your name?
Me: -- *wave goodbye*

Note: in retrospect, i REALLY regret not spending more time chatting with her. in the end, she didn't respond to my text, even though she displayed one of highest IL and she was one of the hottest hb's i approached. it seemed like the hotter they were, the more receptive they were to my approaches *smh*

Approach 41
HB5 in red dress looked REALLY good from behind as we're walking down the crowded streets of the city. I walk beside her and tap her on arm. then i realized she was a hb5. BIG let down. i'm sure she knew what i was thinking after i used the same lame line on her because then, she said "thank you" and kept on walking away

Approach 42 (number closed)
HB7 is reading a book on side of the street sitting on a marble countertop at the park. I walk over and lean towards her on one elbow
Me: Excuse me
HB7 looks up
Me: I thought you were really cute and i just wanted to say hi
HB7: *looked really suprised and FLATTERED from the impression i got* oh thank you!
Me: What's your name?
HB7: -- (she was speaking in a low tone of voice for some reaon)
Me: Nice to meet you. I'm --. What are you reading there?
HB7: Oh just some book *holds it up for me to see*
Me: You like reading?
HB7: yea just something i do in my free time
Me: Yea me too! Did you read Hunger Games?
HB7: No i haven't
Me: or Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer? Those books were awesome, even though i didn't see the movies
HB7: Yeaa! i actually just got that book Abraham Lincoln but I haven't read it yet. is it really good?
Me: It's the best book i've ever read of all time. no question about it
HB7: haha
Me: Do you go to school here?
HB7: Yea
Me: what school do you go to?
HB7: --
Me: Oh ok cool. So do you live around this area?
HB7: No.
Me: So you're just visiting someone?
HB7: yea i'm actually visiting my boyfriend *in a guilty way like she got caught stealing from a cookie jar*
Me: That's ok. just cause you have a boyfriend doesn't mean you can't make friends right?
HB7: i guess
Me: What's your phone number?
HB7: i can't... i have a boyfriend already
Me: But we're just friends right?
HB7: oh ok it's --
Me: Cool nice meeting you

*this really boosted my confidence, even though it was a dirty pick up*

Approach 43
As 2 HB's walk out of Dunkin Donuts and my friends and I are chatting outside...
Me: Excuse me *i wait for HB's to freeze in their steps and give me their undivided attention*
Me: Can I borrow your friend for a second?
HB's continue on walking away. one of them was really hot

 

[thechosenone2190]

Approach 44
Me: Excuse me *wait for hb to stop in her tracks* Do you know where the nearest starbucks is?
HB7: i think it's around that way
Me: I'm just kidding. i thought you were really cute and just wanted to meet you.
UB3 her friend: what? you stopped her to ask for direction to starbucks and now you're telling her you're cute? F*** YOUU!! *stuck middle finger up*
HB7: Yea F YOU!!!
*cracked me up so badly*

Approach 45
Things started going downhill from here. at this point, my friends were hanging out at the apartment, while i went solo for a short while
HB7 is one the phone. I walk up in front of her waiting and
Me: Excuse me...
HB7 looks up
Me: i thought you were really cute and i just wanted to say hi
HB7: i'm sorry but i'm on the phone here with my mom *sounded upset*
Me: ok

Approach 46
HB6.5 is walking opposite to me. she looked 5-10 yrs older than me
Me: Excuse me (wait for her to stop)
HB6.5: Oh yes?
Me: I thought you were really cute and i just wanted to say hi
HB6.5: Oh haha
Me: What's your name?
HB6.5: --
Me: Where are you from?
HB6.5: Florida
Me: Oh really? That's quite a long way from here
HB6.5: Yea i know *i cut her off by accident since we began talking at the same time; she was about to explain what she was doing here*
Me: What part of florida are you from?
HB6.5: (some town) it's in blah blah blah drive away from blah blah
Me: Is it near the Trayvon Martin incident?
HB6.5: yea sanford florida? sadly it is just a ? hour drive away from there.
Me: oh that sucks. so what are you doing here? are you just visiting friends?
HB6.5: no i work here
Me: What do you do?
HB6.5: entertainment (come to think of it now, i think she might have meant a different kind of entertainment lol!)
Me: Oh cool. What exactly do you? do you produce music or movies?
HB6.5: i work for a talent agency representing artists
Me: oh nice. that's really impressive to work in the entertainment industry because i know it's really competitive to break in
HB6.5: yea kind of
Me: what's your phone number?
HB6.5: sorry i don't give out my number to strangers *walks off*
Me: no worries

Approach 47
HB8 who looked 10 yrs older than me with headhones and gym clothes on is waiting for the signal to cross the street. i tap her on the arm and
Me: Excuse me
HB8: oh *takes off ear phone*
Me: i thought you were really cute and i just wanted to say hi
HB8: oh haha
Me: What's your name?
HB8: --
Me: Nice to meet you. i'm --. Where are you from?
HB8: Floriday
Me: Oh cool! What brings you to [city]?
HB8: I work here
Me: Oh ok. What do you do?
HB8: real estate consultancy
Me: cool do you work for (i name drop random companies in the management consulting industry)
HB8: no i do consulting for my own company
Me: oh i see it's like your own gig. that's impressive. are you here for the summer? or are you just here for the weekend on a business trip?
HB8: no i've lived here for the past 6 years. i just grew up in florida
Me: Oh ok got you.
HB8: sorry the light's green and i have to go
Me: Wait what's your phone number?
HB8: sorry i'm engaged! *shows off ring and trods away*

Approach 48
another mature hb8 smoking but probably 10 yrs old than me in duane reed crouched down and picking something off the shelf
Me: Excuse me (standing beside her)
HB8: yes?
Me: I thought you were really cute and i just wanted to say hi
HB8: oh haha sorry i'm married already! *shows off ring*
Me: oh ok that's cool. nice meeting you
HB8: you too! (really polite about it too)


Approaches: 48
Ph No's: 10
Facebook: 1

So basically, I was a dumb--- and asked my friend to think up of a text message to send to all the numbers a few hours later that day. this was the same text i sent out to all of them, and I got absolutely no responses from sending this text

"Hey --. this is -- the guy who had the balls to call you cute. What are you doing later?"

For HB from approach 42 i texted

"Hey --. this is -- your friend who had the balls to call you cute. What are you doing later?"

Takeaways from today:

>my approach anxiety is almost nonexistent. that is the least of my concerns now
>i need to start getting over my insecurities and self-image issues and try being more FUN in my conversations. i need to ante up the sexuality in my convos!!! note to self: more kino!! do less of these boring "where are you from" "what do you do" questions. i must stop being a robot
>keep convos going for longer than just a few seconds before you number close and eject!! start making better connections with HB's in these convos by taking your time!!
>older HB's are much less receptive than those around your age
>hang out with my friend who pushed me to go through these approaches more often. he's really into rsd stuff and gave me a lot of good feedback and motivation throughout my approaches. great wingman. he's also the one who gave me back my 20 bucks

grr i feel like i came so close yet am so far away from where i want to be. i made some dumb rookie mistakes. i hope i apply what i learned in my future approaches

 

[AAAgent]

congrats chosenone. You've definitely come a long way and broke your AA barrier. It's probably time to start learning from your failed approaches.

It seems like you always hit it off well when there's a common interest involved so maybe you can work on identifying common interests or scope her out before hand. Like check out the book she's wearing or maybe a school bookbag that identifies where she goes.

The getting the numbers seem to be one of the smaller problems. You should probably work on getting first dates now.

Generally, i will text the girl first saying who i am briefly. Then next couple of days do a little chit chat and banter (sometimes alot, sometimes almost no banter). Then i will do a straight out phone call at a time i know she should be free, if she doesn't pickup i don't leave a message. I always prepare what i will say as well as list out multiple scenarios of how she can respond. If she calls me back i prepare for that as well, if i'm not ready when she calls back i will let it go to vm and call her back when i am ready, etc.

Congrats on your progress, i'm still trying to finish the dj boot camp. im on week 2!

 

[thechosenone2190]

Approach 49
I step off the subway train and walk down the platform towards the exit. To my left is a HB7 playing with her Iphone or something.
Me: Excuse me!
hB7: Yes?
Me: I thought you were really cute and i just wanted to say hi
HB7: Oh ok!
Me: What's your name?
HB7: --
Me: Nice to meet you i'm --. You're not from the states are you?
HB7: *mumbles something*
Me: Oh ok. Where are you from?
HB7: Serbia
Me: Oh serbia! Cool what brings you here?
HB7: I work here part time. i'm finishing up my degree in (can't remember) and plan to go into the restaurant business
Me: Oh cool! Where do you work?
HB7: I'm a bartender at --
Me: Oh neat. I hear bartenders make tons of money sometimes. Like up to $500 a night. That's crazy
HB7: Yep *nods head*
Me: I bet you probably make like a $1000 dollars per night
HB7: hahaha
Me: Where do you live?
HB7: --. It's really nice there. I like it
ME: Oh you live in -- (even more specific)
HB7: Yea
Me: Yea I heard that place is awesome to live in. It's up and coming. It's gentrified. And there are a lot of hipsters there too. You know what a hipster is right?
HB7: Hahah yea. The place I bartend is also there. A lot of people form Europa go there. You should come by sometime!
Me: Is Serbia in Europe?
HB7: No it's more near romania bulgary and hungary that region
Me: Is that near russia?
HB7: Hahaha! no
Me: Sorry! My geography sucks
HB7: You know where greece is?
Me: Oh yeeea one of my best friends is from albania!
HB7: Then he's very close to Serbia
Me: What's your phone number?
HB7: I can't give you my phone number!
Me: Well nice meeting you!

Approach 50 (number-closed)
HB6.5 is walking in a direction opposite to me.
Me: Excuse me. You know where Starbucks is?
HB6.5: Sorry i'm not from here *is about to continue on walking*
Me: Wait i'm just kidding! I thought you were really cute and i just wanted to say hi
HB6.5: Oh thank you! *is still continuing on walking*
Me: Wait! What's your name? (in a loud voice, extend hand, walk a step closer towards her)
HB6.5: -- *finally stops walking, turns back around to face me*
Me: Nice to meet you i'm --. Where are you from?
HB6.5: Spain
Me: Oh really?
Hb6.5: yea
Me: Do you follow the olympic soccer games?
HB6.5: No. i follow the eurocup soccer games though
Me: Oh ok. i just know that you guys are crazy about the sport there. people get killed over that sport and stuff *wave hand as if slicing my neck open* and spain is reeally good too.
HB6.5: Yea
Me: What brings you here?
HB6.5: I'm studying abroad here
Me: For just the summer?
HB6.5: yea
Me: Where are you studying at?
HB6.5: --
Me: oh wow that's impressive. that's a really good school.
HB6.5: yea it is
Me: What are you studying there?
HB6.5: *can't remember*
Me: Nice. Yea --'s campus is beautiful. I'm actually going to a picnic at -- this weekend.
HB6.5: oh really? (she's pretty introverted, but her spanish accent is sexy)
Me: Yea. Where do you live?
HB6.5: --
Me: Is that near -- park?
HB6.5: No it's near --
Me: Oh it's more south that way. that's where all the bars and clubs are at.
HB6.5: Yea
Me: It must be really loud at night right? with everyone partying and stuff?
HB6.5: Not really
Me: Oh ok that's good. What do you have there? $500 worth of clothes? That's crazy *i'm pointing to the shopping bags she's carrying in both hands*
HB6.5: haha no i'm just doing a bit of shopping
Me: Oh ok I see. What's your phone number?
HB6.5: Oh the problem is i have an international number
Me: That's fine. just put it in here *hand phone to her*
HB6.5: oh ok *inputs digits*
Me: I know a little bit of spanish. como estas?
HB6.5: muy bien! *says some other stuff in spanish that i couldn't understand*
Me: Yea! *nod my head up and down really hard*
HB6.5: *hands phone back to me* i called the number so it's saved i think right?
Me: Oh i see. Yea that's fine. Cool nice meeting you! *wave goodbye*
HB6.5: You too!

daaamnit. i only asked for her digits to stroke my ego. i don't want to deal with international numbers. they're too complicated and cost money. besides, she's only here for the summer. if any of you guys have discovered the secret to calling international numbers, please enlighten me. it's 13 digits long and the first 3 digits are 003 if that helps

Approach 51
HB6.5 and her friend is walking down the street towards me on my left. From a distance, I thought she was a HB7
Me: Excuse me. I thought you were really cute and i just wanted to say hi
HB6.5: Oh! ok *is still walking, so I turn around and walk beside her*
Me: What's your name?
HB6.5: --
Me: nice to meet you. i'm --. *shake hands* where are you from?
HB6.5: Taiwan *walking finally comes to a halt at the intersection*
Me: Oh really? What are you doing here? Studying?
HB6.5: yea i go to school here.
Me: what school? --? or --?
HB6.5: No --
Me: Is that a state school? or city school?
HB6.5: no it's just a school at [some location]
Me: You're english is reaally good. Did you go to an international school?
HB6.5: No i go to school here.
Me: but you grew in Taiwan until you were 18 right?
HB6.5: yea *looks behind her as if she's in a rush to go somewhere else*
Me: Where are you guys headed?
HB6.5: Yea sorry we are actually in a rush to go somewhere
Me: Oh that's ok. what's your phone number?
*HB6.5 stares at her friend, who shakes her head*
HB6.5: no
Me: ok nice meeting you! *eject*

Approach 52
HB7 who looks a bit older than me is walking in a direction opposite to me
Me: Excuse me! I thought you were really cute and i just wanted to say hi
*HB7 gives me a weird look while continuing on walking*

Approaches: 52
Ph No's: 11

 

[MisterD]

Props for breaking the 50 approach milestone.

I would try to open with something that relates to the environment/situation, if you could.

I think their defenses would be lowered if you did, because then it seems like you actually have a reason for talking to them.

Reading some of the approaches, I think your weakness is in transitioning. Especially with that Serbian chick, I thought there was going to be more there, but almost out of nowhere you ask for the number.

I know some guys think the less time you spend approaching the better but put yourself in her position, some random dude walked up to her, asked a bunch of personal questions, and then asked for her number in a matter of 5 minutes.

Take your time with these approaches. Give the girl a chance to warm up. It's not a recon mission where you need to be in and out. If you get the feeling that she's rushing to get out of there (short answers, awkward pauses, looking around) then she probably isn't interested anyway. If she's showing interest, take it slow.

I would also try to make the actual asking of the number thing a little more smooth. Something like "Oh **** what time is it? Wow I'm late. See, this is what I get for talking to pretty girls, you're trouble. I'd love to continue this though, let me take down your number"

 

[Purefilth]

daaamnit. i only asked for her digits to stroke my ego. i don't want to deal with international numbers. they're too complicated and cost money. besides, she's only here for the summer. if any of you guys have discovered the secret to calling international numbers, please enlighten me. it's 13 digits long and the first 3 digits are 003 if that helps

the 003 is in place of the first digit ie instead of 079******** it will be 00379********.

 

[Fly By Night]

Great job, I plan to make my own journal when school starts.

You're visibly getting better with the convo's.

HB6.5: oh really? (she's pretty introverted, but her spanish accent is sexy)

If you sense something you like, go ahead and point it out; it makes you seem thoughtful and you ARE since you noticed it in your head. I would have said something like, "You have an amazing accent" or "You got a cool accent" then try to *jokingly* imitate it. And remember, its all in HOW you say it.

Also, check the body language. Be confident in getting close like the one where you crouched down to get to one girls eye level *DON'T OVER DO IT*. It seemed like that body language put that conversation in a closer, personal feel. Also, if she doesn't turn her body to face you, that's one of the biggest signs of disinterest, at least in my experiences.

 

[Nycnyc]

As others said, nice job on doing 50 approaches. I'm repeating myself here, but at this point, now that any and all approach anxiety has been killed, you really need to start working on your conversation and interest-building skills. Right now you have practically none of that.

Step one - reset your goals. Getting a number is a nice, easy goal to set at the beginning. Your new goal should be to get a date. In that light, you have 50 approaches and zero dates.

That mindset alone, "how do I get this chick interested enough that she will meet me, a complete stranger, out for a drink?" will change how you talk to her.

Random thoughts about your approaches-
- like I said before, within the first five sentences try to transition to something that will bring about a real conversation, tapping into some emotion. One of the painfully obvious and simple tools you need to add to your arsenal is "how do you like that?". Look at your last 3 approaches. Bartender from Serbia- "you're from Serbia? How do you like it here?". "a bartender? How do you like that?" Spanish chick-"you're from Spain? How do you like it here?"

It may not seem like a much more effective question than what youre currently doing, but it is. It gets her talking about likes, dislikes, it starts a conversation where you can ask why she likes this or that, or can disagree with her, or say something funny. In a very subtle way, it gets a girl to talk rather than just answer questions or listen to you. In other words, it starts a conversation rather than just an interview. The key is once you detour to wherever this leads, listen to her and respond/ask questions to what she's saying. You're on the right track when she's doing most of the talking.

Start with some simple "how do you like that?" or "do you think...". Start throwing those in and see if you notice a difference.

 

[macallik]

^^^great advice