My Amazing LTR GF has a "Bad Past"

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

Well let me rephrase that actually...if she cheats on me...then she should be prepared to see another girl (and many others) take her place. I've seen her crumble at the sight of another HB chatting me up out of nowhere and giving me mad vibes.

 

[tmpgstx]

That's good, but usually when a girl cheats her passion for you diminishes considerably. It would be a thing where she knows that there will be no future with you so cheating is easy. It's also a coward's way out of the relationship.

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

well that could happen in any relationship really. it is really my fault if I can't keep her attracted to me. but cheating IS a cowards way out. So far...6 months and going stronger is an indication things are getting better. This has so far been the best relationship I've had compared to any other girls with "better, safer history"

 

[bigjohnson]

I am sure everyone has done something bad in their pasts and regret doing it...but can you really be judged over something like that? I have done bad things in my past but it would be unfair to be judged harshly.

Famous Quote - "No one is as bad as the worst thing they've done."

 

[tmpgstx]

True, guess people that do farm animals are worthwhile companions, at least for someone. It could have been just an experimental phase though

Sounds good Rudy, all that matters is you are happy and things are good. That's what counts.

 

[ShortyMac]

So she goes out and gets some tail and she is a slut

And you cone here to learn tips and techniques to do what exactly?

Perhaps she is just a better DJ than you, and perhaps you are a bit jealous

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

Jesus christ so what am I suppose to do...walk around treatin her with prejudice because of what she did in her past long before she met me? Ican't find any fault that she's done while she's with me and you expect to use old history as the only reason to break up?

When I was with my previous oneitis, I messed around with 15 other girls and then back to her and did that for a few more months. Once I hooked up with a girl I was seeing, then straight from her house I went to hook up with another just around the corner, then had a feed and then on my way to finish another session with the main girl. I was doing that whenever I had time to spare. Now that was worse and really a dog act to do. I lied my a'ss off to get what I wanted. But now thinking about it I fully regret what I did because it was the wrong thing to do and it hurt a lot of people and me the most. I've helped a sh'itload of innocent girls not trust guys after that.

See. that was only a fraction of some of the worse things I've done. Some things I wouldn't even tell a single soul. But my point is, I've done a'sshole things in my past but does that mean I AM AN A'SSHOLE FOR LIFE? I've changed heaps and settled down and have cut ties with my old lifestyle. I've burnt bridges with some of the hottest girls around because because I know I would cheat at the drop of a hat. What goes around comes around. I've changed and I have got the cleanest record for the past 6 months to show. And I've been the happiest phase of my life (apart from little issues regarding my "problem" if you know what I mean).

As I've said, she's done a good 21 yrs and helped a lot of people and achieved lots. But she f'cuked up during a phase that lasted a couple of months. I think you can now stop comparing her to people who do beastiality.

We both deserve a chance to get on with life. I am just finding a way to get over some things so I can get with things.

 

[blueguy]

Why are you so worried about her? You're never going to have a lock on any woman.

 

[christz]

I'm dating a 3 time convicted felon and she was also acquitted on a life sentence because there wasn't enough evidence. But she told me it was in her past.. so i'm safe right?

right?

 

[Albion10]

I've been going out with this girl (21, I'm 23) for nearly 6 months (she's been my longest) and so far things have been so good compare to my previous flings and hook ups.

She treats me like a king (as my friend says, kisses the ground I walk on) she doesn't go out clubbing or has a lil drink unless she is with me. Calls and txts me all the time without me having to initiate lately. She buys me heaps of treats and other sappy stuff and does all a typical good girlfriend does. To top it off she is on the same level of sex drive as I am.

She's a little clingy for me, but that's not at all a bad thing if you like that kinda thing.

She has high grades with physiotherapy, teaches lil kids how to swim, teaches aqua aerobics and regularly volunteers for charity events and camps. She has a very strong family relationship too.

She'd make a great mother.

To my horror she has revealed to me her rebellious past (compare to what she is now). She had a F-Buddy for about 6 months to which she had a threesome with his male friend. WTF!! She also had another threesome with her female friend and her friend's work colleague! After that she went on to sleep with her FB for a couple more times until she met a new guy and settled down with him for nearly a year. It was nearly a year they were going out until I "stole" her from him because he hasn't been in the country for over 4 months and was stuffing her around when he could finally be with her.

If she was willing to dump one guy for you who's she willing to dump you for? If you can keep her then that's cool, but...

As far as her past, who the fuk cares? You're not her past, you're her present. Don't be insecure because she might have a little more experience then you in that area.

She lost her virginity at 17 and has only slept with 7 guys in total (4 LTRs and 3FBs from 3somes, her "rebel" stage). 7 guys is a very small number for a 21 yr old. But I just can't get over her little s'lutty stage. She explained that she was a real good girl back in high school who never drank, took drugs, didnt lose virginity until 17 when everyone else lost it at 14, worked her a'ss off and never pi'ssed off her parents. So I guess she was breaking out and had a "system overload" then got it out of her system. The main problem I have with her is her threesomes and her cheating (from her previous boyfriend to me)

She didn't cheat on him. He wasn't giving her what she needed/wanted and you were willing to. I'd do the same if a girl wasn't offering me what I wanted. Women do this all the time, get used to it. As for her threesome (with two guys) are you being a bit homophobic about that? Who the hell cares, it's in her past. You are going to need to learn to live with any woman's past, or at least what they feel you need to be privy to. As they get older that past gets a lot more complex.

I've been with a lot of girls and this one has been awesome. I am falling for her big time (which is a first) but I feel that the past is holding me back. I literally feel disgusted and can't touch her or look at her whenever I get a visual of what shes done.

It really eats me up and I feel like it is robbing me of a healthy relationship. I am sick of the old lifestyle I had before I met her because I was just sleeping with a lot of other girls and everything was just a mask to make me happy on the surface. Now I dont even think about all the useless things and actually got a better direction in life (DJing too much is actually bad for your WELLBEING!!!)

So please, I am asking advice from the experience DJs.

PS And NO I am not going to ask her for a threesome...I have worked hard on this relationship to lose it to a petty fantasy.

"before I met her because I was just sleeping with a lot of other girls" Sounds like a self-serving double standard to me. It's ok that you did all those things in your past, but when it comes to her past, you're all disgusted? Man, I am 38 years old, I've seen, heard, and done crazier **** then a threesome with two guys. I'd be a hypocrite if I got disgusted by some chick that's done pretty much the same. Honestly, the only one losing this relationship is you and your own issues. Take my advice, get over it and get on with it.

-Al

 

[Albion10]

I'm dating a 3 time convicted felon and she was also acquitted on a life sentence because there wasn't enough evidence. But she told me it was in her past.. so i'm safe right?

right?

So when did having a threesome with two guys come anywhere near comparing with a murderous criminal?

-Al

 

[Last Man Standing]

I didn't say I was better than others - or morally superior - I didn't say she was evil or is going to hell - all I'm saying is "yes" we all judge people based on their ACTIONS - this is the reality! And yes men judge women based on their sexual past - some accept more than others - but we all judge - this is a GOOD thing!!

If I was a Homo boy rapist in the past but not now, would you let me baby-sit your 7 year old boy>> NO!!!!!!!! Is this prejudging --- NO!!!! It is reality!! We are human beings NOT animals - animals don't judge but people do - this is part of our make-up and this is a good thing, Our judgment warns us of possible pitfalls and dangers and reinforces our decision to embrace the positive and to stay away from the bad, lest we pay a heavy price!

Can you do bad things and still do good things? YES!! The crux of the matter is, in a serious relationship that may head towards marriage, what factors and qualities in a woman should a man consider?

Some marry ex-porno hors and some marry ex-prostituting hors - you have to decide what you value and what you don't and then make a decision and be willing to face whatever consequences arise from your decisions!! We do know, in general terms, that "If" you do "this" "Then" such and such is likely to happen! There are universal laws that generally apply to our human character and we make judgments based on how closely we are in sync with these laws.

For example, If someone has a serious drug habit and no income to support this out of sync human characteristic, then we can know for a surety that this bastard is going to rob, steal and lie (all bad things) to support his bad habit! This is common sense and The Reality Of Things!!

Anyone who doesn't judge is a fool!!!! Rudy, for you to question her sexual past is a good thing because you know it is out sync with her feminine nature - it is up to you to either accept it or let it go - but you'll never forget!!

Your title tells me you already made a judgment ... GF has a "Bad Past"

Don't trust the dudes on here who say there are no boundaries for women - only a fool would think such -- don't listen to fools!!

 

[christz]

So when did having a threesome with two guys come anywhere near comparing with a murderous criminal?

-Al

because your past makes you who you are

otherwise why would jobs that offer big salary's check your credit. Because they believe your past will give them insight on how responsible of a person you are.

-C

 

[Albion10]

because your past makes you who you are

otherwise why would jobs that offer big salary's check your credit. Because they believe your past will give them insight on how responsible of a person you are.

-C

But who the hell cares? We're talking about a sexual experience here, not some guys ability to pay his mortgage. You really think someone who's had a "kinky" experience is irresponsible? I'd be happier then ****e to be with a kinky chick. I've been in enough relationships that have ended because of boredom in the bedroom to think otherwise. Kinky means she'll always be willing to be experimental and keep things exciting in bed. It doesn't mean she's gonna max all your credit cards. lol

I can still remember the first chick that wanted to stick a vibrator in my ass. I was a little taken back and disagreeable at the time but I figured what the hell. I wouldn't think twice again. Does that mean I'm gay, or that I'd make a bad partner? lol!

-Al

 

[christz]

But who the hell cares? We're talking about a sexual experience here, not some guys ability to pay his mortgage. You really think someone who's had a "kinky" experience is irresponsible? I'd be happier then ****e to be with a kinky chick. I've been in enough relationships that have ended because of boredom in the bedroom to think otherwise. Kinky means she'll always be willing to be experimental and keep things exciting in bed. It doesn't mean she's gonna max all your credit cards. lol

I can still remember the first chick that wanted to stick a vibrator in my ass. I was a little taken back and disagreeable at the time but I figured what the hell. I wouldn't think twice again. Does that mean I'm gay, or that I'd make a bad partner? lol!

-Al

tell a girl you had another girl stick a vibrator up your ass and see how far that conversation goes dude.. lol

 

[Adrian]

Well...I've actually fallen in love with this girl. I've been with a sh'itload of other girls and no one has come across being as good as she is. This is why I wrote to sosuave for advice in the first place.

You’re going through a phase. She seems rather “different” but in reality (you’ll realize this after the relationship is over) she is very much the same as all the others. It happens to all of us. I personally think you haven’t had enough LTR’s in your lifetime but I could be wrong on that part though.

When we first hooked up I even asked her for a threesome. Funny thing was, she said that shes done it before and would never ever do it again. It was just a phase that she got out of her system.

The last couple of girls in my last two LTR’s revealed to me some of their secrets and had the same exact attitude saying it was something that they needed to “get out of their system” and "would never do again". I just find it rather ironic how they could easily go back to their old ways once you or someone else could smooth talk them back into it. So much for “not doing that ever again”.

Look, shes done a great 21 years of her life but f'ucked up a couple of months out of it and that doesn't mean she can be condemned and don't have a right to live a healthy life after she's settled down. F'cuk, even a murderer can still find love in prison .


Stop making excuses for her.

Look, we've made a deal. If she would ever cheat on me, she will have to drop out of her dream career and eventually move out of the country. And even if we have broken up she can't be with anyone or hook up within 3 months. THose were her words not mine. Thats what she said to reassure me and I believe that she's true to her words...otherwise the secret is out but hoping that I wouldn't have to resort to lows like that. If she ever does anything bad she's got sooooo much to lose but thats what she wants and I never pressure her.

God chicks are practically all alike. I’ve made deals like these with my past LTR’s as well. And they sounded so convincing too. I thought I have finally met “the one” each time. Too bad those girls couldn’t uphold their side of the bargain though. From my experienced those words mean nothing. Girls say what they want but ultimately they respond to their emotions.


I have had many chances to have threesomes (even foursomes with all girls) but I turned them down because I was concerned of things being let out in the open and it would rob me of being with a great girl. Trust me..it was like a million dollars of blood money was being handed to me for nothing.

Well...maybe when I am single again I will have as many threesomes as possible and decide whether it is such a big sin and find out for myself.[/B]

Maybe next time you should take those opportunities and not worry so much about what others may think of you. Instead worry about what makes you happy.

Jesus christ so what am I suppose to do...walk around treatin her with prejudice because of what she did in her past long before she met me? Ican't find any fault that she's done while she's with me and you expect to use old history as the only reason to break up?

When I was with my previous oneitis, I messed around with 15 other girls and then back to her and did that for a fewmore months. Once I hooked up with a girl I was seeing, then straight from her house I went to hook up with another just around the corner, then had a feed and then on my way to finish another session with the main girl. I was doing that whenever I had time to spare. Now that was worse and really a dog act to do. I lied my a'ss off to get what I wanted. But now thinking about it I fully regret what I did because it was the wrong thing to do and it hurt a lot of people and me the most. I've helped a sh'itload of innocent girls not trust guys after that.

See. that was only a fraction of some of the worse things I've done. Some things I wouldn't even tell a single soul. But my point is, I've done a'sshole things in my past but does that mean I AM AN A'SSHOLE FOR LIFE? I've changed heaps and settled down and have cut ties with my old lifestyle. I've burnt bridges with some of the hottest girls around because because I know I would cheat at the drop of a hat. What goes around comes around. I've changed and I have got the cleanest record for the past 6 months to show. And I've been the happiest phase of my life (apart from little issues regarding my "problem" if you know what I mean).

As I've said, she's done a good 21 yrs and helped a lot of people and achieved lots. But she f'cuked up during a phase that lasted a couple of months. I think you can now stop comparing her to people who do beastiality.

We both deserve a chance to get on with life. I am just finding a way to get over some things so I can get with things.


Don’t justify her wrong doings through yours and stop comparing yourself to her. I think that the biggest mistake this chick ever done was telling you in the first place everything (or some) of the things she involved herself in. The biggest mistake on your behalf was actually falling for her. Stop trying to convince yourself that it was ok. She done what she did and it’s only natural for that to bother you. Double Standard??? Not at all. You may be able to change but I have yet to meet a chick who is capable of doing so. Instead of worrying about her past why don’t you just look forward to enjoying your time now with her and begin to accept the fact that the two of you are not going to last forever. The end between the two of you is inevitable. Not to mention history DOES tend to repeat itself. You’re no one special man and she’s no different from other girls. Everything the two of you do right now she’s eventually going to be doing with other dudes she hooks up with later on in life. Take this chick for what she is and stop being so emo. The sooner you get it through your head that you’re not going to marry her the sooner her past will not bother you. I had my share of LTR’s and they were exactly how you describe yours to be. I experienced your feelings and I know what I’m talking about. I don’t mean to sound like an arrogant know it all but it’s true.

 

[Adrian]

I didn't say I was better than others - or morally superior - I didn't say she was evil or is going to hell - all I'm saying is "yes" we all judge people based on their ACTIONS - this is the reality! And yes men judge women based on their sexual past - some accept more than others - but we all judge - this is a GOOD thing!!

If I was a Homo boy rapist in the past but not now, would you let me baby-sit your 7 year old boy>> NO!!!!!!!! Is this prejudging --- NO!!!! It is reality!! We are human beings NOT animals - animals don't judge but people do - this is part of our make-up and this is a good thing, Our judgment warns us of possible pitfalls and dangers and reinforces our decision to embrace the positive and to stay away from the bad, lest we pay a heavy price!

Can you do bad things and still do good things? YES!! The crux of the matter is, in a serious relationship that may head towards marriage, what factors and qualities in a woman should a man consider?

Some marry ex-porno hors and some marry ex-prostituting hors - you have to decide what you value and what you don't and then make a decision and be willing to face whatever consequences arise from your decisions!! We do know, in general terms, that "If" you do "this" "Then" such and such is likely to happen! There are universal laws that generally apply to our human character and we make judgments based on how closely we are in sync with these laws.

For example, If someone has a serious drug habit and no income to support this out of sync human characteristic, then we can know for a surety that this bastard is going to rob, steal and lie (all bad things) to support his bad habit! This is common sense and The Reality Of Things!!

Anyone who doesn't judge is a fool!!!! Rudy, for you to question her sexual past is a good thing because you know it is out sync with her feminine nature - it is up to you to either accept it or let it go - but you'll never forget!!

Your title tells me you already made a judgment ... GF has a "Bad Past"

Don't trust the dudes on here who say there are no boundaries for women - only a fool would think such -- don't listen to fools!!

Many here should greatly consider these words full of so much wisdom and intelligence. Great stuff LMS.

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

LMS, Albion and Adrian...Thank you very much for clarifying this matter in a more mature and thoughful way.

Let me explain this. I am not thinking of marriage with this girl, having kids, or buying a house. Who knows how long we will last. All I want is that those last few moments be fully enjoyed and I am searching for a way to move on.

If we last for another 10years well thats good then...If we get married after that, well it kinda showed things were good if we lasted 10 years to begin with. Who knows. I dont like to predict things in the long run but I am cautious. Chances are slim that we will last forever, but I don't want to spend a whole great amount of time moping on about the past.

I know I will never forget this issue but I am trying to accept it and be happy. She is a great girl. If she didn't tell me or didnt do those things, who knows how far I wouldv'e have gone with her.

There is another problem...Her bestfriend, who was involved in a threesome with her wants to come visit her here. I know I will be hell uncomfortable and would rather have contact between them cut altogether or else lose me or I dont know.

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

Also, LMS, I am judging her actions. Firstly I've judged her actions when she is with me and she's done heaps better than many of the girls I have been with or met. Even virgins treat their boyfriend like absolute sh'it. My gf hasn't treated me like that at all. She has been honest with me the whole time, well too honest it seems. I have no other reason to break up or fight with her apart from her past. She's been so great with me so far the past 6 months and highly unlikely change in the next few days. If she does then it makes it easier for me to move on. I am not a baby thats going to be left out in the lurch if she's gone. I've still got my game intact and still find another girl on my own.

Lastly, unfortunately, I have focused on her past which is not a good thing for both of us. If she is going to repeat it, let her repeat it but long before I am gone. She can do it after shes long gone out of my life.

All girls lie, cheat and steal. Virgins or slu'ts. I've seen virgins flirt and lead on a whole army of guys and then eventually go back to their main guy. This is not like my girl. She is loyal as hell. She was naive to experiment her boundaries and god knows what mine are. She is a kinky girl but a loyal one to me. I've come across heaps of sl'uts who just sleep with heaps of guys and then find out they are not even worried about cumming or even enjoy the sex, they just want a guy to want them even if sex is the only thing. My girl actually initiates the sex with me and no one has seen her look at another man except me (she even still checks me out when she thinks I'm not looking, I thought that novelty would've been gone after the first couple of weeks)

 

[Last Man Standing]

You knew her past from day one and still love her - so it is what it is. Close human interactions breed a more forgiving stance - this is why our mother and father can forgive many of our transgressions. It is the same within the male/female bonding ritual -- but we all have personal limits that only we can gauge as either worthy or unworthy!

Things may get messy as she sees those from her past - settle this issue! She is going to say "You don't trust me?"