My Amazing LTR GF has a "Bad Past"

[Holland]

Your past defines who you are - the future didn't happen yet!!!

The more information that you have the better decisions you make in life!! This is a no-brainer!! Her past is an indicator of her mindset

Can anyone say... Pre-judice?

Damn dude, what's so wrong with a threesome?
I would do one if I was single or if my girl had bisexual interests.
Sex doesn't equal love. They are two seperate things. You can blend the two with the woman you love and you'll both be in for a beautifull experience. That is a recommendation if you want to live life to the fullest, but it doesn't mean you can't experiment with your sexuality (especially while you're single).

Fix your sexuality issues, man.

 

[Ryan69]

7 guys is a very small number for a 21 yr old.

Really ???

I think a lot people would say thats a tad on the high side

Im thinking most 21 yr old girls have slept with much less

 

[Ryan69]

Maybe she's over fooling around. if thats the case you found one hell of a girl

Maybe she wanted it out and the open in case you found out about the threesome etc by somebody else. That shows she cares about you

It has less shock value coming from her, rather finding out through one of her friends or something

Keep the past in the past and enjoy her my man.

 

[MacAvoy]

7 guys is a very small number for a 21 yr old.

Really ???

10 years ago when I was in college, I seen girls with a different guy every week, so figure 20 + guys on average per year. Not a big deal.

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

Let me just refresh the facts about what I originally said.

*She told me her antics in a "What was the wildest things have you done?" question when we were just having a playful conversation when I first hung out with her. I didn't even like her at that stage and didn't worry at all. I was seeing 3 other girls back then too.

*I am NOT trying to change her. I am simply trying to change they way I feel about her past and make peace with it so I can fully enjoy what I have now.

*I trust her because she has earned it. She treats me like gold and has proven everything she has promised. I have tons of friends that know who she is and everyone agrees.

*I had a choice of staying with her, a student doctor, an aspiring olympic athlete and a rock singer. The others statistics may say they are good but some are just full of sh'it, leading on other guys, only use me as relief hook up, liars, not giving me a good vibe or being selfish. My game was really good too so I could've kept looking but I was content and very happy with what I've got.

*She is honest as hell. Never dodged a question and always answered the truth. Her facial expression is SOOOO easy to pick.

*She doesn't demonstrate hor behaviours. Unless she is with me, she doesn't go out, drink or clubbing. She doesn't smoke or take drugs. She doesn't flirt with anyone even if I am not in the vicinity (some of my friends keep an eye out on her). She keeps her urges indoors and away from public eye.

*The main problem here is that her history is eating me up inside. Sometimes I forget about it, sometimes it pops in my head. I get angry so easily, argue with her or use it against her. Sometimes it makes me miserable too. But I don't hold any prejudice against her or treat her like a sl'ut/sh'it. ALL I WANT IS A WAY TO GET OVER THIS ISSUE SO I CAN GET ON WITH LIFE AND ENJOY HER.

 

[penkitten]

so stop thinking about the things she told you. forget it like a bad movie.

 

[Last Man Standing]

so stop thinking about the things she told you. forget it like a bad movie.

Let me tell you a MAN secret/Truth - all men think like Rudy in this regard -- even the ones on here that say "It's no big deal"! It is a big deal, not because a woman is our property but because she has gone outside of her feminine nature and entered a new realm of what men describe as "freaky" behavior!! We know something is out of place because it is!!

While Rudy is at the altar with wedding ring in hand - his friends in the audience will be joking or making condemning statements about his wife to be - at least this is what will go through Rudy's head!!

This only applies to girls who we want to have a meaningful life with - otherwise she is just a freak for a week and we don't care!

Rudy, it is always going to be in your head!! This is natural - your head is telling you - "Somethings wrong - do not embrace wrong lovingly!!"

 

[IceCream]

I agree with LMS, but to me, there's no harm in trying. You said it yourself, if you two break up, you have other girls in line to follow her.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

7 guys is a very small number for a 21 yr old.

Really ???

I think a lot people would say thats a tad on the high side

Im thinking most 21 yr old girls have slept with much less

Wrong! It depends on my factors. When did she start having sex, etc.

Most women will also lie about the number of partners they've been with.

Most women who been active for a while have had a lot more partners than you realize, don't be naive.

Too many men in here haven't had many partners, so to them, any number over zoro might seem like "too many". NO number will ever be low enough to us when it comes to a girl we like or are dating.

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

I never said I was going on the road to marrying her. I am trying to to make peace with it and find a way to stop it from affecting the relationship. Who knows, this mite last for another year. But I am looking for a mature way to make that year count and enjoy the most of it with her.

I am not trying to change her! If you meet her now she looks like your typical girl next door and acts like one. She doesn't dress provocatively or drive for others attention. So she made a horrible mistake in her past. I've nearly killed someone, stole, lied, cheated and hurt countless other but for the past year, I have had a VERY clean record for I have changed for the better and for nobody else. It would be unfair if I wasn't forgiven over that because I have paid for it already and don't want bullsh'it prejudice for it all my life.

LMS, get off your moral high horse! Some of us do not live in a squeaky clean world like you obviously do! Some of us would get left behind if we live in a textbook-style world you preach of! Do you live in a bubble or something? Not everyone grew up with intact families or in a world without conflict and blood. LMS, you are saying my girl:

*...who is a lifeguard who has saved many drowned kids;
*...volunteers countless weeks on end for terminally ill cancer patients;
*...donates what money she has left for charities;
*...loves her family, friends and especially me;

...IS NOTHING BUT A HOR because of one stupid mistake she did and vowed never to do it again!!! Please, LMS, wake up and experience the real world. You can't condemn a girl forever because of one mistake. That one mistake surely can't be what you wholly define a human being.

All I want is a way to make peace with it...

 

[Jaxon]

This is a tough one man, but I've been in a similar situation to you. My last girlfriend had been with 9 or 10 guys, she was 21 as well. For me that's a high number.
But not only that I got her to come completely clean about her past. To my dismay I found out that she had been on an "f buddy" rotation with 3 different guys--as in effing buddy #1 one day, buddy #2 the next and so on.
I also found out that she had sucked off two guys at once, and on top of that had gotten an abortion.

This reeaaally bugged me but she seemed to try to balance it out by doing exactly what you're describing: spoiling me, bringing me lunch at work all the time, paying when we went out, being there at my beck and call. But her past was just too much for me to get over. I never completely trusted her because of her past, but then one day I came across an email between she and her ex. It wasn't too shady but she had previously told me that they weren't talking anymore and she didn't want to talk to any of her ex's now that I was in her life.

Oh yeah and her mom had cheated on her dad leading to a divorce. I know she's not her mom, but I believe stuff like that can be passed down. As sweet as she was and as much as she had "changed", there were just too many red flags for me, so I ended it. I don't regret it one bit, and that's what I would advise you to do too. There's just too many red flags there in my opinion man.

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

Well the thing is that...she hasn't done anything wrong to me this whole time I've been going out with her.

Believe me the same rules still apply with any other girl. If she plays up, her a'ss is shovelled out the door. I just don't want to break up with her now and regret it for the rest of my life (or for a while at least). And then spend the rest of the my years going out with "virgin" girls who aren't even half as good as she is.

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

By the way I haven't told anyone and will never, ever tell even a close friend about my issue...thanks to sosuave and anonymity

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

Honestly guys, what is the worst case scenario here that could happen if I don't break up with her?

 

[Jaxon]

Honestly guys, what is the worst case scenario here that could happen if I don't break up with her?

Well obviously this situation bugs you or you wouldn't even be posting about it on these forums. So I would say the worst case scenario is that you ditch this one and find a girl with a sexual past that doesn't concern you

Maybe this girl has settled down and will continue to stay that way...but maybe she hasn't and will get bored with regular sex and will want to get freaky again later down the road, there's always that risk.

To me it just got to the point where her sexual past messed with my head and bugged so much that it wasn't even worth it. What's the greatest indicator of the future? The past.

I'm great now, and as I said I don't regret breaking up with her at all.

 

[Holland]

HELLO???
You people act like being in a threesome is a fuucking SIN.
Rudy, this has nothing to do with you. She just wanted to have some fun back then. The only way you're going to fucck up your relationship is by judging her like this.

Don't listen to LMS, if you would ever get to the point of getting

at the altar with wedding ring in hand

he'll be the priest wedding you and afterwards molesting your children because of his sexually repressed nature.

Don't buy into this BS. Truth is that you would've done the same if you had an opportunity to have a threesome with 2 gals in the past.

Just be openminded. If I were you I'd ask her about the positive aspects of it (especially the one with the 2 gals of course). Maybe you might get her interested for an ONS with girl you can pick up together at a bar. Wouldn't that be awesome

Tip: To all the people who are ranting against this girl: "Who are the ones that are acting neurotic and who are the ones that are acting healthy?"
I think the answer is clear.

 

[Adrian]

Well the thing is that...she hasn't done anything wrong to me this whole time I've been going out with her.

Believe me the same rules still apply with any other girl. If she plays up, her a'ss is shovelled out the door. I just don't want to break up with her now and regret it for the rest of my life (or for a while at least). And then spend the rest of the my years going out with "virgin" girls who aren't even half as good as she is.

you're thinking with the wrong head man.

By the way I haven't told anyone and will never, ever tell even a close friend about my issue...thanks to sosuave and anonymity

Don't beat yourself up over it.

Honestly guys, what is the worst case scenario here that could happen if I don't break up with her?

There is none. Only the ones that YOU create yourself. The worse case scenario being you "falling in love". You DON'T fall in love with women like these. EVER. Don't judge her and take her for what she is. Just understand that you can't and shouldn't control the decisions she would make but you have ultimate control of your own.

 

[Jaxon]

HELLO???
You people act like being in a threesome is a fuucking SIN.

Yeah well actually it is if you wanna get right down to it.

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

Well...I've actually fallen in love with this girl. I've been with a sh'itload of other girls and no one has come across being as good as she is. This is why I wrote to sosuave for advice in the first place.

When we first hooked up I even asked her for a threesome. Funny thing was, she said that shes done it before and would never ever do it again. It was just a phase that she got out of her system.

Look, shes done a great 21 years of her life but f'ucked up a couple of months out of it and that doesn't mean she can be condemned and don't have a right to live a healthy life after she's settled down. F'cuk, even a murderer can still find love in prison .

Look, we've made a deal. If she would ever cheat on me, she will have to drop out of her dream career and eventually move out of the country. And even if we have broken up she can't be with anyone or hook up within 3 months. THose were her words not mine. Thats what she said to reassure me and I believe that she's true to her words...otherwise the secret is out but hoping that I wouldn't have to resort to lows like that. If she ever does anything bad she's got sooooo much to lose but thats what she wants and I never pressure her.

I have had many chances to have threesomes (even foursomes with all girls) but I turned them down because I was concerned of things being let out in the open and it would rob me of being with a great girl. Trust me..it was like a million dollars of blood money was being handed to me for nothing.

Well...maybe when I am single again I will have as many threesomes as possible and decide whether it is such a big sin and find out for myself.

 

[tmpgstx]

Look, we've made a deal. If she would ever cheat on me, she will have to drop out of her dream career and eventually move out of the country. And even if we have broken up she can't be with anyone or hook up within 3 months. THose were her words not mine.

I guess those words seal the deal. I'm sure she'll stand by it if she cheats on you.