MrConfidence said:
And yes, you DID tell me so.
Why am I not confident? I don't feel that I'm good enough, and I care too much about what other people think. What I mean by I don't feel good enough, is that I never feel I'm good at something, unless someone tells me so. Another reason I'm self conscious is because I seek peoples approval. I'm also very self-conscious, and always feel like everyones watching me, and saying bad things about me.
That sounds exactly like me, until about a half a year ago. What happened? I got a girl.
I know it sounds paradoxical, but your confidence will NOT go up until you get a girl. Why? You have no confidence in yourself not because you arent good enough at something, you think you look bad, or think people are critiquing you. You dont have confidence because you dont think you can get the girl. You automatically assume that you will fail, and then you lose all confidence. It has nothing to do with "inner game". Your "inner game" as you call it is bad because you just cant find a way with the ladies.
Believe me, once you have got a girl, then its like "damn, I can do this." You immediately increase your self worth. Its an asset. Why do you think billionaires carry around arm-candy? It makes them feel good.
Whenever I used to walk down the hallway, I felt as if everybody was looking at me. I would actually get nervous and look down at the floor. My eyes would water (thats probably just from the asbestos in the air, though). Now I feel so much better because I know that I am capable of having a girl like me. It doesnt matter if she is around or not, it has the same effect as a gold medal at the olympics. I got the prize, it boosted my ego.
Until you get the girl though, you will be rejected. And that kinda sucks for the confidence level. Thats where practice comes in. You say you have problems keeping a convo going. Well, play against your disadvantages. Come up with something general and witty to say to make her laugh, get her to go on a date or get her numbers, and wait until the date to start a long conversation. I remember going on my first date because I was afraid that there would be nothing to talk about, but was I wrong! If you go on a date where there is a mutual experience, the both of you will have something in common immediately. If you really suck at talking, take her to a movie, and then you have 2 hours to think of something to say to her after the movie while she is busy watching it.
Good luck, though, and remember, the key to confidence is to not stop until you have a girl.
