Moved in with girlfriend and no sex

[DJinTraining06]

Ok so I moved in with my girlfriend 3 months ago and we never do it anymore. Im lucky if I get any once a week, sometimes once every 2 weeks. Is it just me or is that an extremely low amound of sex for a couple thats only going out 2 yrs and getting along very well. She used to be all over me all the time and we actually did it at least 1-2 times per week without fail when we didnt live together. I only use to see her 2-3 times a week so 1 or 2 times was a pretty damm good percentage.

Now when i make a move she ignores it, and the one time she made a move and i did that too her cuz i was fallin asleep she starting crying and sobbing and sayin i dont find her attractive. So i bring up to her that she turns me down every freakin night and she totally denied it and says i never even try. Yet a few days after this epsiode i make a move and she ignored me more than once and this has happened several other nights since. So what does this mean? Seems she only wants to do it when shes drunk.

 

[jophil28]

Ok so I moved in with my girlfriend 3 months ago and we never do it anymore. Im lucky if I get any once a week, sometimes once every 2 weeks. Is it just me or is that an extremely low amound of sex for a couple thats only going out 2 yrs and getting along very well. She used to be all over me all the time and we actually did it at least 1-2 times per week without fail when we didnt live together. I only use to see her 2-3 times a week so 1 or 2 times was a pretty damm good percentage.

Now when i make a move she ignores it, and the one time she made a move and i did that too her cuz i was fallin asleep she starting crying and sobbing and sayin i dont find her attractive. So i bring up to her that she turns me down every freakin night and she totally denied it and says i never even try. Yet a few days after this epsiode i make a move and she ignored me more than once and this has happened several other nights since. So what does this mean? Seems she only wants to do it when shes drunk.

THis game is over. Move out or toss her out.

When you have "to talk about" sex or lack of it, the end is near.
When one party uses excuses ,avoidance and blame shifting then you are approaching the crash site.

You sound plenty young enough to sow more oats. Go out and do it.

 

[DJinTraining06]

Yea thats how it was with my previous gf the sex ended a few months before the relationship did. but what confuses me about this one is that she was dying to move in with me and so excited about it. Yet the lack of sex started immediately after we moved in and we were gettin along very well. I mean in the beginning moving into an apartment is alot of work and we were both kinda tired i suppose. But the place was in order after 2-3 weeks and she just never seems to care bout sex. She goes to sleep at 9:45-10:15 pm which to me is another problem. i dont know anyone else under 60 who goes to bed at that hr. She gets up around 6:45 am for work. I don't think that it's necessary to sleep almost 9 hrs every night. It's almost as if our window to do it is very small and shes always tired. Could it just be that? I'm not buying that end is near just yet cuz then why was she dying to move in with me in the first place? The sex slowed down right afcter that.

 

[KontrollerX]

Thats why you never move in with a chick.

They've got what they want ie a steady guy to call boyfriend and then their minds think well I've got him so I can ration sex or get rid of it entirely he's so pathetic he'll never leave me and our good thing!

Also moving in with a chick does away with competition anxiety and she no longer has to fear other women being hotter than her getting your attention over her so she stops being the best she can be in all ways for you and things then turn rapidly to sh!t.

Yes indeed when you live with a chick you are in her world unless of course you establish ground rules first and stick to your guns on them and kick her ass out once the sex stops or whatever terms you set are not complied with.

Still though even with that kind of arrangement you get used to eachother very quickly and relationship killing boredom can set in much quicker and then you've lost your girl and need to go find another one.

 

[DJinTraining06]

Yea man i highly regret it. Relationship boredom is seriosuly kicking in. It used to be so much fun when I'd see her 2 or 3 times a week. It was always to go out have a bite, meet friends for drinks, an occasional day trip on the weekends. It was always fun. Now we see each other all the damm time, and get on each others nerves. Someone has to cook and clean and its no fun anymore. And yes i really feel like she takes me for granted now cuz she has me. It's a shame we had a great thing goin and I feel I may have ruined it.

 

[Chrispy]

It was a bait and switch...plus if the sex part was the plus and now you have to converse, and that's not so hot...then it's time to move on.

 

[Rounder]

Wait for it....Wait for it....

BAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

ok seriously...

That sucks dude.

Least you found out before you did something really stupid like marry her. Start looking for that eject button.

You moved in to her place? Well that's better than her moving it to yours - take a day while she is at work and get all your stuff out. Don't "discuss" it with her, just make your decision and go with it.

Best of luck.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear DJ in Training,
Scaramouch's Mantra, Maxim 1....Never let the Bviches get their feet under your table.....Never let them move in,there is a caveat,unless you want kids....The quantity and intensity of sex a Woman permits you is inversely proportional to the amount of time she spends with you,keep your love forever fresh and intense,never more than alternate days,on the "Lay Day",Do just that,try the bread from another Oven!.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Iron Rule of Tomassi #4

NEVER under any circumstance live with a woman you aren't married to or are not planning to marry in within 6 months.

You are utterly powerless in this situation. NEVER buy a home with a girlfriend, NEVER sign a rental lease with a girlfriend. NEVER agree to move into her home and absolutely NEVER move a woman into your own established living arrangement. I'm adamantly opposed to the "shacking up" mythology, it is a TRAP that far too many men allow themselves to fall into. My fervor agianst this isn't based on some moral issue, it it simple pragmatism. I know guys right now living in the pit of misery with women they signed apartment leases with for a year and are basically living with their Exes now for the duration. If you live with a woman you may as well be married because upon doing so every liability and accountability of marriage is then in effect. You not only lose any freedom of anonymity, you commit legally to being responsible for the continuation of your living arrangements regardless of how your relationship decays.

I should also emphasize the point that when you commit to cohabiting with a GF you will notice a marked decrease in her sexual availability and desire, trust me on this. All of that competitive anxiety and it's resulting sexual tension that made your single sex life so great is removed from her shoulders and she can comfortably relax in the knowledge that she is your ONLY source of sexual intimacy. Putting your name on that lease with her (even if it's just your name) is akin to signing an insurance policy for her - "I the undersigned herby promise not to ƒuck any woman but this girl for a one year term." She thinks, "if he wasn't serious about me, he wouldn't have signed the lease." Now all of that impetus and energy that made having marathon sex with you an outright necessity is relaxed. She controls the frame and she's got it in writing that it is for at least a year. And in your case it doesn't sound as if she's all that sexually available in the first place.

Just don't do it. Relationships last best when you spin more plates or at the very least keep each other at arm's distance. Look how this applies to your situation here.

 

[Bible_Belt]

fwiw, I am living with my girlfriend of one year, and it is going well. We still have sex every day, and don't fight. If we had not already both been married, then marriage would probably be on the horizon, but divorced people are not nearly as marriage-minded as 'marital virgins.'

Obviously, your girl is not that sexual. But with a woman, there is a lot to it. This exchange gives you some clues:

she starting crying and sobbing and sayin i dont find her attractive.

She talking about how she feels, which is the most important thing to a woman. But you respond with logic:

So i bring up to her that she turns me down every freakin night

Logic and truth will get you nowhere with a woman. All of the guys here including myself know that you are logically correct, but women will never think that way.

The essence of your problem is that your girlfriend does not feel sexy. If you want more sex, make her feel sexy. Women always have low self-esteem; it's a given. You have to raise that low self-esteem. (btw, that's what being drunk does, which is why you get sex then). Keep some booze around; there's nothing wrong with that. But you also have to tell her when she turns you on, and tell her the things about her that are sexy. Every woman has at least one good physical feature; compliment her when appropriate.

Lingerie is a great help. I once read an online post from a guy who said he had figured out the secret to never-ending great marital sex in a boring marriage...it was Wal-Mart lingerie. Every weekend when he and his wife went to Wal-Mart, they would buy one cheap piece of lingerie, then she would wear it that night, and they would have great sex. The guy was flabbergasted how well this technique worked. It worked because it made his wife feel sexy. That is what matters in determining how much sex you have - how sexy she feels. It is not about money or gifts; drop fifteen bucks on some clearance stuff at snaz75.com and tell her how sexy she looks in it. Take some half-naked pics of her on your phone...maybe watch a little porn together, do what it takes to make her feel sexy.

Relationships end, and the door is always there when you want to bolt, but these are the things to try before you do. Have some fun with it.

 

[Trajhenkhet01]

Similar issue happend to me. Me and my ex were together for about 4 years total. A year and a half into it we moved out and the level of sex dropped from daily to 3 times a week and in the last year it was once a week if that. I was able to get back up to twice a week after enacting something similar to what Bible Belt suggested. In my situation there were extra parties getting involved, so I had to end things when it got real crazy.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Ok so I moved in with my girlfriend 3 months ago and we never do it anymore....

Out of curiosity, what made you decide to move in together in the first place? More times than not any convenience turns into complacency unless the couple continues to interact as if they weren't living is such close proximity.

 

[DonJuan11]

Ok so I moved in with my girlfriend 3 months ago and we never do it anymore. Im lucky if I get any once a week, sometimes once every 2 weeks. Is it just me or is that an extremely low amound of sex for a couple thats only going out 2 yrs and getting along very well. She used to be all over me all the time and we actually did it at least 1-2 times per week without fail when we didnt live together. I only use to see her 2-3 times a week so 1 or 2 times was a pretty damm good percentage.

Consider yourself lucky. Most guys on here can't have sex one time

Now when i make a move she ignores it, and the one time she made a move and i did that too her cuz i was fallin asleep she starting crying and sobbing and sayin i dont find her attractive. So i bring up to her that she turns me down every freakin night and she totally denied it and says i never even try. Yet a few days after this epsiode i make a move and she ignored me more than once and this has happened several other nights since. So what does this mean? Seems she only wants to do it when shes drunk.

This means she is not that attracted to you anymore and it means you should not make any advances to her whatsoever. Get out of her face, disappear, let her wonder about you. Think about it: if she knows you want something and you're not going anywhere, she's going to make it as difficult as she can to give it to you. You cannot let her know you want sex from her.

Again, just like anything in life, when someone knows you want something or have to have something, the price of it goes up.

 

[Warrior74]

Give her some space. Spend time with your boys. But then throw her with a grown up sexy date night, going somewhere nice and different and fun.

 

[2.0]

So in other words, you're having the same amount of sex now that you did before you were living together, when you first met. I think that's pretty amazing.

 

[Da Realist]

The real problem is that you got boring. You got a place with her and in some way you felt like you did enough and now you want the sex that you though you'd be getting. The thing is women aren't ever satisfied and when you escalate, they expect more. Talk to her and see what's really going on. She may have to pick up after you or feels like the place really isn't her's also. Then again, she may just be crazy, but stop talking about sex and get to the bottom of it. Trust me, no sex is just a sign of something deeper going on.

 

[DonGorgon]

THis game is over. Move out or toss her out.

When you have "to talk about" sex or lack of it, the end is near.
When one party uses excuses ,avoidance and blame shifting then you are approaching the crash site.

You sound plenty young enough to sow more oats. Go out and do it.

Exactly.. well said .. when i read that i thought i wrote it...lol straight to the dan point... but let me add that she is Fing other dudes.. She is getting her Fs elsewhere so she is totally not concerned about him..

 

[Asteconn]

They've got what they want ie a steady guy to call boyfriend and then their minds think well I've got him so I can ration sex or get rid of it entirely he's so pathetic he'll never leave me and our good thing!

This

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear FuzzX,
You are one lucky Dog,and it is probably Sour grapes,but since when does one Swallow make a Summer?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear FuzzX,
Even though you put it crudely,you are dead right,farting without feeling too ashamed around your girl,is the ultimate test.