Married 6 months...wife is changing...

[Between_The_Lines]

This right here, is where you can save it. Dont let your women lead in the bedroom or the whole marriage will start crumbling down. Have sex for fun and take as long as you want. Ignore all *****y behavior and forget about facebook. You are the MAN, let her fill in the drama in between.

If she had the desire to begin with, this thread almost surely wouldn't exist. The only "saving" OP ought to be concerned about are his assets, his dignity, and his sanity.

 

[Epimanes]

There are married men with happy, successful marriages. They don't post on SoSuave.

Hahaha ... I'm married... Been so for 16 years of our 20 years together. Mostly happy (had a rought few years where most would have nexted her after 2nd kid tho) and I post.

*shrugs*

Epi

To OP: stop supplicating and listening and doing everything your wife says.. Start being your own man. She's unattracted and likely the only reason for the hardship. Go read "sex in the relationship" thread in mature man section. You can salvage this if you want too..but you gotta keep your own frame and stop falling into hers..

Your the fvcking captain of your ship so start acting like it (you don't have to be mean just make your stand) and if she doesn't like it... There is the door. Who cares if she bytches and moans about crap... She chose to marry you.. She can either deal with it or gtfo. Also.. Stop whining for sex... Be more outcome independant.. If she rejects just go on to do something else to improve yourself like no big deal (go do something manly.. Playing pc or games os a display of low value like your pouting.. Be cool and go clean your guns or your garage out).. Disengage her.. Don't say "our sex life sux" she's looking to you to lead.. So lead her.. If you fvck up with your leader choices o well we are all human and fvck up once in while.

Epi

 

[expos]

Get help if you can. Some people, like your wife, are just genuinely unhappy.

I went through the same things with my ex-wife and we eventually split. I can tell you now, she's not likely to change unless you make some drastic changes (mainly for yourself). Even if she never changes, at least you've done your part to be a better person and the lessons you'll learn through your improvement will ultimately benefit you in the long run.

 

[MattC80]

Hey guys.

i proposed that we take a break or live a part for bit. Things got really bad. She is going to move in temporarily with a co-worker and keep a majority of her belongings at my place until we sort this all out.

We had a series of fights after the holidays and a lot of it was stemming from the fact that we couldn't sell our house. I put my foot down after she wanted me to drop the price down from $215K to $170K. I told her no and she basically flipped out saying that it was "our plan" to move and I was going against it. She had a lunch meeting with a friend of her's and her friend which worked for a home builder to explore new housing options and floor plans. I got pissed and told her that we are jumping too far ahead and not building a house. Yes I want to move, but I don't want to take a huge cut on our place and I'm tired of her trying to control everything.

So when I asked for us to take a break she went absolutely crazy and started saying "I'm not getting divorced again! I'm not filing! I cannot believe this!" and proceeded to cry for a couple of hours. I apologized and said that she needed to start treating me better because I'm not happy with her. After a day of this she starts texting me all the time and work to meet with her and that we should find a therapist to help us. She's playing a guilt trip game.

I'll type more but I've had a rough time with her. I can't even the remember the last time she even hugged me.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Good for you man you are doing the right thing man! You are taking your power back. What you suggested (time apart) is exactly what a therapist would say. A friend of mine went with his wife & thats exactly what they told him.

File for divorce, hit the reset button. It's going to be hard believe me I know. Find a compatible woman that doesn't demand anything & everything . This is your life, you call the shots!

 

[Epimanes]

Welcome to january... The biggest month for contributing to the divorce statistic. Did you know that march is the best month to buy a house? Why? Because that's almost how long it takes for the divorce settlements to come in and house prices drop because of the divorces.

I got my eyes peeled here in canada to buy my first place and sadly looking for something that fits the above exact scenerio.

*shrugs*

 

[Yewki]

We had a series of fights after the holidays and a lot of it was stemming from the fact that we couldn't sell our house. I put my foot down after she wanted me to drop the price down from $215K to $170K.

Sounds like you're making some progress based on your last post, but I gotta say... letting her talk you into putting your house up for sale was a colossal mistake. Get that sh*t off the market, damn.

Do YOU actually want a new house? Is it going to be in your name and your name only? I take it the answer to both is no...

Get it off the market ASAP. Why are you even entertaining the idea of selling it? Take it off immediately. Stop hesitating. Take control now man. Not next month, not tomorrow, NOW.

This is like watching someone standing on train tracks with an oncoming train in the distance. Dude... the train is GOING to run you over if you don't move. Do you not believe us? Look. There's a train. See it? Yes that huge train there headed your way. Those tracks you're standing on, is exactly where the train is going to roll through. It is going to hit you. Do you understand? It WILL hit you if you do not move. Gauranteed. There is absolutely no reason to still be standing there. Get your house off the market immediately. Get in contact with a lawyer immediately. Start strategizing the divorce immediately. Your wife already blew it, and apparently no longer does.

Get off the damn train tracks man, jesus this is painful to read.

 

[way2smart]

Whatever Yewki said. Reading this thread makes me loose all hope for mankind.
You gave your wife all the power, she sees you as a weak man.
Women despise weak men, that's why you are having all these problems. Now, unfortunately this marriage is over. There's no way you can get her interest back to where she will respect you again.

It's ran it's course. Start the divorce now!

 

[expos]

Pull the plug on this certifiable witch. She doesn't love you. She only loves what you can give her (and you know that princess can't bear to live whatever "dungeon" who guys are living in now, PRINCESS wants a castle!). You are whipped and her she is going to abuse you for the rest of your life.

Good job on kicking her out for a bit. Maybe she'll come to her senses (probably not).

 

[haynesr07]

Why marry her after a little over a year? What promoted that?

 

[MattC80]

Well I pulled the plug on my marriage this past weekend. I'll be posting snippets of the story here when I can.

 

[BrainDamage92]

Young man,
theres no need to feel down I said young man,
knock the ***** on the ground
so she stays there,
couse youre in a new town,
you dont need to be unhappy...

Still, how could you merry her oh boy... Fresh outta divorce like that, oh boy, oh my...

And dont sell your fuking house. Get a lawyer, a good one, spare no money there, so you spare alot in the long run, the he'll tell you what to do. If you still consider selling it, know that for females, the easiest thing to do is plant thoughts and ideas in your head that are not yours through psychological abuse. NO YOU DONT WANT TO SELL YOUR GODDAMN HOUSE.

But you need to make up your mind. How can you even tolerate the crap you described are you Jesus?

 

[BlueAlpha1]

I read 2 pages of this thread and can't go on. The problem is YOU and YOUR mindset. There is no fixing this. Simple. End of story. Don't give it a year, don't go to counseling, protect yourself and your finances and get out ASAP.

But I've been in your shoes. You've created this thread for a quick fix and you'll sort through the 90% of posts telling you to move on and look for the 10% who might tell you how to game your wife because to those magical days.

You'll wake up when you've had enough punishment.

 

[MattC80]

So the story...

We were able to patch things up for a while. We were in counseling and things were looking up around mid-February when she moved back in. When she lived with her co-worker, we'd text every other day. I kept this to minimum in hopes that her interest level would return. She did come over to the house a few times to eat dinner and she would come to my office at work and talk about what we should do and we agreed that she should move back and I told her I wanted to be married and I just wanted her to treat me better.

A lot of the fights stemmed from children. She is pushing me to have a kid, I'm fighting back because she isn't making much of an attempt in the bedroom. I told her no sex = no kids. for which she tells me that I'm not making enough an effort to meet her emotional needs for which I tell her that I'm not responsible for her happiness. You can see how this becomes a cycle. Not to mention this would get very annoying while we were both at work and she come up to drop this business on me.

So, I took the initiave and started planning dinners, going out for dinners, complementing her, back rubs, foot rubs, really listening what she had to say. When she got out of line in any way I'd say things like "I don't care for the way you are behaving, it makes me feel like you are trying to upset me and I'd rather not blow this out of proportion." She did not respond to this well because she felt like I was talking down to her and avoid the issue. To which i wasn't at all!

It just got to the point where I we could not fight or talk about things constructively.

Maybe the last straw was when I tried making a move on her after taking her out on valentines day. $200 bill, wine, sushi, etc. She was in a grouchy mood, I tried to talk her out of it, tried to get in her pants when she seemed to level off and got the big cold shoulder from her. I don't think I even spoke to her the next day as I had hockey after work and got home late.

Anyway, we had a big fight which led to me basically telling her to "**** off".

I've avoided her at the office for the past several weeks. Thankfully we work on other sides of the building.

Maybe I'll post the details later, but I'm hungry now and tired from a long day at work.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Just one question: How does she make your life better?

 

[SAYNO]

So the story...

We were able to patch things up for a while. We were in counseling and things were looking up around mid-February when she moved back in. When she lived with her co-worker, we'd text every other day. I kept this to minimum in hopes that her interest level would return. She did come over to the house a few times to eat dinner and she would come to my office at work and talk about what we should do and we agreed that she should move back and I told her I wanted to be married and I just wanted her to treat me better.

A lot of the fights stemmed from children. She is pushing me to have a kid, I'm fighting back because she isn't making much of an attempt in the bedroom. I told her no sex = no kids. for which she tells me that I'm not making enough an effort to meet her emotional needs for which I tell her that I'm not responsible for her happiness. You can see how this becomes a cycle. Not to mention this would get very annoying while we were both at work and she come up to drop this business on me.

So, I took the initiave and started planning dinners, going out for dinners, complementing her, back rubs, foot rubs, really listening what she had to say. When she got out of line in any way I'd say things like "I don't care for the way you are behaving, it makes me feel like you are trying to upset me and I'd rather not blow this out of proportion." She did not respond to this well because she felt like I was talking down to her and avoid the issue. To which i wasn't at all!

It just got to the point where I we could not fight or talk about things constructively.

Maybe the last straw was when I tried making a move on her after taking her out on valentines day. $200 bill, wine, sushi, etc. She was in a grouchy mood, I tried to talk her out of it, tried to get in her pants when she seemed to level off and got the big cold shoulder from her. I don't think I even spoke to her the next day as I had hockey after work and got home late.

Anyway, we had a big fight which led to me basically telling her to "**** off".

I've avoided her at the office for the past several weeks. Thankfully we work on other sides of the building.

Maybe I'll post the details later, but I'm hungry now and tired from a long day at work.

 

[BrainDamage92]

Lol does this ***** believe herself. Dinners backrubs and she gives you the cold shoulder. You tell her what both of you should do for the thing to work, she doesnt listen? Well if shes that stupid I mean...


???

And she expects children? Doesnt she realise nobody would want the mother of his children to be this way? She cant agree to the most prozaic thing, like no sex = no kids, which is banally correct I mean????? WTF???? She wants you to give her a container with semen or what?

??? My mind is full of what...

***** is delusional srsly. Dont let her slip back into your life.

 

[expos]

So the story...

We were able to patch things up for a while. We were in counseling and things were looking up around mid-February when she moved back in. When she lived with her co-worker, we'd text every other day. I kept this to minimum in hopes that her interest level would return. She did come over to the house a few times to eat dinner and she would come to my office at work and talk about what we should do and we agreed that she should move back and I told her I wanted to be married and I just wanted her to treat me better.

A lot of the fights stemmed from children. She is pushing me to have a kid, I'm fighting back because she isn't making much of an attempt in the bedroom. I told her no sex = no kids. for which she tells me that I'm not making enough an effort to meet her emotional needs for which I tell her that I'm not responsible for her happiness. You can see how this becomes a cycle. Not to mention this would get very annoying while we were both at work and she come up to drop this business on me.

So, I took the initiave and started planning dinners, going out for dinners, complementing her, back rubs, foot rubs, really listening what she had to say. When she got out of line in any way I'd say things like "I don't care for the way you are behaving, it makes me feel like you are trying to upset me and I'd rather not blow this out of proportion." She did not respond to this well because she felt like I was talking down to her and avoid the issue. To which i wasn't at all!

It just got to the point where I we could not fight or talk about things constructively.

Maybe the last straw was when I tried making a move on her after taking her out on valentines day. $200 bill, wine, sushi, etc. She was in a grouchy mood, I tried to talk her out of it, tried to get in her pants when she seemed to level off and got the big cold shoulder from her. I don't think I even spoke to her the next day as I had hockey after work and got home late.

Anyway, we had a big fight which led to me basically telling her to "**** off".

I've avoided her at the office for the past several weeks. Thankfully we work on other sides of the building.

Maybe I'll post the details later, but I'm hungry now and tired from a long day at work.

Was gonna comment earlier on this.

You are making the right move. This is a damaged woman who is thinks she is relationship/marriage material but the truth is she good for no one. You gave her more than enough space and time to work things out and probably too many chances. Switch jobs now if you can. I can't imagine what it would be like to work with an ex-wife.

 

[donking]

Fix these next time around. Your wife ideally should not be a coworker. Go significantly younger (or older) than you next time - people fight the most when they are close in age. She works in finance - why would you want a girl that is calculating.

In short, she views you as an "equal", which in women's eyes means inferior.

Brief story here...

Met my wife at my job. I'm 32, she's 30.

We both work in finance and I always had sort of a thing for her, but when we first met she was married. We got to know each other on recruiting trips through our job. Her and I and a few other associates would fly to different parts of the country and we'd always make small talk and I could sense we were connecting. I was sort of frustrated because she wasn't available - and I was in the later stages of breaking it off with my girlfriend.

This was about two years ago.

At the beginning of last year, she and her husband divorce. They were married for 2 years. She wanted kids and he didn't and I guess he kind of drifted away from her. She tried to get him back but he was already banging some girl. She got all pissy about this and started crying a lot. She then started asking me if she was prettier than her and I told her to forget about him.

So she wasn't in a good place - but it didn't take long before we were doing things together on the weekend and we got pretty close.

We started dating, got official, having sex on the regular and things were amazing and nearly perfect. I went fishing with her dad and met almost all of her family members. I text her brother like every other day. We attended a few weddings over that summer so she met all of my family.

We dated for about 13 months and I proposed to her. Things were OK during the engagement phase but not great because she was going buck wild with planning it and sort of ignoring me which pissed me off. We werent having sex very much during this time and she was putting on a little weight.

On our wedding night she kept telling me to hurry up when we were having sex and wanted me to orgasm faster. We went on our honeymoon - Turks and Caicos - and she was sort of doing the same thing. We were there for a week and didn't seem that into having sex with me.

We get back to my house, and she's moved in now and wants us to sell my house and buy a brand new one, and she's and pressuring me for a kid now but she's not even trying in the bedroom. We've gone a couple weeks without sex.

Last night we had a pretty big blow up and we've been fighting for awhile now. Nothing I do is good enough, even though I make a really good salary. She's also been spending a lot of time with her mom and she's sort of meddling a bit.

The other thing that pisses me off a bit is that we were Facebook friends when she was married and she had tons of photos of her and her ex-husband. She deleted them when we began dating, but she won't post photos of us together.

Another thing, she doesn't want to change her last name on her Facebook profile to my last name. But she did for her ex. I know this is petty, but it's disrespectful.

I'm considering counseling or at least a trial separation.

So yeah TLR - My wife is being a b!tch 6 months into our marriage.

 

[LiveFreeX]

How soon can you be in Mexico? Sell everything you have, put it in a bank account and RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN