From Gunwich. This helped me a lot when I broke up with my last girl. My current girl is a much more amazing person.
15.5 Women sooth issues. A break up from a long term relationship can be murder on your limbic system, self esteem and well being. The main reason for this is that you have mental issues you’ve learned to deal with. A woman comes along who not only makes your dealing with those issues easier, but quells them altogether. She makes you feel desirable to women, makes you feel like a good lover, makes you feel like someone worthy of love. She leaves, BOOM, you aren’t only missing her ability to quell these issues, but NOW have to learn to deal with them and get used to them all over again. Realize this. Use a pain filled break up as an opportunity to recognize and GET RID of these self esteem problems. Don’t be a co- dependant, always defining who is important to you by what gaps of yours they can fill (mind out of the gutter people), instead be a complete person (self help jargon I know). Seek the permanent company of people you WANT around you, not NEED around you. Eventually you don’t hurt anymore this way.
15.6 Grief as a rebound. OFTEN when you don’t want a relationship to end and it does anyway you will hold onto the pain as a means of not accepting it as REALLY over. You fantasize about the other person crawling back begging to be with you, because they’ve seen the error of their ways. Not a good idea, this only prolongs things, focus on YOU and what she did to “complete you” that needs to be complete on its own by your own rethinking of self esteem, goals and ability to succeed. Remember YOU are physically the same now as before you were ever hurting over this woman, only now you aren’t used to being you anymore, you are used to being you AND her together. The electricity in that brain of yours lies, true love is new love, not someone sticking around forever in order to fill each others needs. Romance writers of old are responsible for all the pain you’ve ever felt over lost love, remember monogamy and commitment, even the word “love” are a 100th as old as man, while sex and short pair bonds are timeless. No one ever killed themselves over losing a sex partner until someone decided co-dependant relationships were some mystical bond that must hurt when severed then told and wrote about it.
