Man my girl dumped me , Please help me before i just do something to myself

[Plain & Simple]

im kinda getting over it ill say im 70 percent over it.

my quesiton is when i see her since we will be seeing each other do i talk to her or do i ignore her or do i just hi and bye her, and also do i iniciate the hi , bye etc, or do i let her do that, wich was my idea

 

[DrSassyPants]

You don't have to be an a$$hole to her. You can say hi, but I wouldn't say much more. To completely get over her, you're going to need to put her out of your life as much as possible. Do it.

 

[Bloke]

No offence intended, but there's no way you're already over it. I've been in nearly exactly the same situation as you. One day you feel great & you can be friends, the next you see her flirting with another guy. You then keep ringing her for weeks everytime you get insecure & keep bothering her til she wants nothing to do with you

Learn from this

& don't go out of your way to impress her. Listen to Audioslaves "Be Yourself"

It's over, & you're never gonna get her back. That's the reality of it. No fantasy you conjur up with change this fact. & the sooner you relize & accept it the quicker you can move onto better things

 

[pimpdatass]

Plain and Simple,

You want to honestly know why she dumped you. When she told you that you guys can be best of friends, that said it all.

When ever a girl tells you you are like a friend or brother to her, major warning sign.

You may think you changing for her and trying to adapt to her needs was helping the relationship, in reality it was doing the opposite. If you had told her straight out, I am not changing, take me for who I am. You would probably still be together. Giving in makes you look weak, and women dont like that, trust me.

 

[Bloke]

Exactly

The reason me & my ex broke up, although of course I didn't relize that at the time

Just read Pooks masculinity posts in the DJ bible, it will set you right

 

[escobar04]

man we all went through the same shyt

and here's what I learned through it:

"Pain is weakness leaving the body"

I've been saying that for years, now I know what it really means

I'm way stronger and better off these days

you'll be fine, it'll take some time so get back at your hobbies

good luck man

 

[bullmoose]

I've been out of town; I just got to this thread.

Pain is just weakness leaving your body. Way to get through it, man.

 

[Plain & Simple]

thanx guys i appreciate your advice, thanx for helping me thru this

 

[DrDope]

Originally posted by Eternal
I think this is one of the greatest things that have ever been said on here.

I give you props Gio.

I agree. Great post.

The only tried and true solution for the "broken heart" is to get back on your horse and DJ other girls. That's the fact, Jack.

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

I'm going through the exact same thing as you. Read my post called "I'm Back".

The difference is that I broke up with her, because I spotted the early warning signs.

This has to be one of the hardest things I've ever done, because at this point I had a mental picture of who we were as a couple and where it was going. I am in love with this one. She really is a fantastic girl, flaws and all. I've been through alot of women and this one just clicked.
It sucks to know that all of the "We" plans have now become the "Me" plans. The loneliness eats at me, every now and again but overall I'm being good about. It's only been a matter of days, right now and every day it gets easier.

I will not call her, and I deleted her from my messenger. I don't even want to see her online. This way, I'll eventually stop wondering what she's up too and life will go on.

It's all about looking ahead at better times, and who knows.... she might call me back... I'm not gonna live everyday waiting for her call, either.

You just gotta dust it off and keep living. It's YOUR life.



The Bad Ass Canadian

 

[white cloud 8]

Dude...no girl is worth it if it is affecting you this much (mentally and physically).

 

[MetalFortress]

Originally posted by Plain & Simple
I feel like ****, she left me, she left me for no reason man, just like that, she said that she doesnt like some of the things i say and i changed that, everything that she doesnt like i changed, and what she feels i do that disrespects her i change too, we talked the other night about what we dont like about each other and we were cool.

I cried out loud like a baby, yes i dont care, ilove this girl, and i cried out loud on her face, we even huged and cried together, she cried too, i told her to please dont leave me etc...
She cant give me a reason of why she wants some time or space.

I feel like **** i even told her that i was gonna kill myself i love this girl to death, weve been together for 8 months she cant just leave me like that.

These are the reasons why she left you. You don't do any of this. You do the EXACT OPPOSITE OF EVERYTHING YOU POSTED IN THESE THREE PARAGRAPHS.

 

[Hellboy]

From Gunwich. This helped me a lot when I broke up with my last girl. My current girl is a much more amazing person.

15.5 Women sooth issues. A break up from a long term relationship can be murder on your limbic system, self esteem and well being. The main reason for this is that you have mental issues you’ve learned to deal with. A woman comes along who not only makes your dealing with those issues easier, but quells them altogether. She makes you feel desirable to women, makes you feel like a good lover, makes you feel like someone worthy of love. She leaves, BOOM, you aren’t only missing her ability to quell these issues, but NOW have to learn to deal with them and get used to them all over again. Realize this. Use a pain filled break up as an opportunity to recognize and GET RID of these self esteem problems. Don’t be a co- dependant, always defining who is important to you by what gaps of yours they can fill (mind out of the gutter people), instead be a complete person (self help jargon I know). Seek the permanent company of people you WANT around you, not NEED around you. Eventually you don’t hurt anymore this way.

15.6 Grief as a rebound. OFTEN when you don’t want a relationship to end and it does anyway you will hold onto the pain as a means of not accepting it as REALLY over. You fantasize about the other person crawling back begging to be with you, because they’ve seen the error of their ways. Not a good idea, this only prolongs things, focus on YOU and what she did to “complete you” that needs to be complete on its own by your own rethinking of self esteem, goals and ability to succeed. Remember YOU are physically the same now as before you were ever hurting over this woman, only now you aren’t used to being you anymore, you are used to being you AND her together. The electricity in that brain of yours lies, true love is new love, not someone sticking around forever in order to fill each others needs. Romance writers of old are responsible for all the pain you’ve ever felt over lost love, remember monogamy and commitment, even the word “love” are a 100th as old as man, while sex and short pair bonds are timeless. No one ever killed themselves over losing a sex partner until someone decided co-dependant relationships were some mystical bond that must hurt when severed then told and wrote about it.

 

[Jariel]

Break ups like this are agonising, especially when you don't know how to handle them.

With all break ups (and rejections) you must focus on getting over them rather than back with them.

From my own experience, the best thing that worked for me is giving up and keeping my distance. Don't try to put things right (as this does the opposite) and just ignore any contact she tries to make.

If you can last a month without any contact, you'll be a new person.

I also agree strongly with Godsgifttowomen about staying active. Use this motivation to drive you to improve yourself.

 

[Jariel]

I've spoken quite negatively of Gunwitch's pick up style in the past, but the text Hellboy posted has really impressed me!

Good advice there!

 

[DrMetallica]

This thread is filled with great advice, damn, I wish I had this info about 3 years ago. Everything in here is true and we've all been in the situation man.

 

[Metalixia]

You don't realise it yet, but she's just given you the best gift anybody can ever give you.

 

[Plain & Simple]

yeh i told my coworker at work, he is 59 yrs old and im only 20, he told me " Thats just a blessing from the sky" I asked him what he ment by that he said, that she breaking up with me is a gift that god gave me.

I love this site though, by each post i keep getting better and better.

I got one question though, its like every now and then i keep thinking about her, like for 2 hrs ill be good then for an hour i think and feel sad then again i feel good...etc... its like that back and forth back and forth. Only if i could get over this mood changes...., i know staying active helps and ive tried to stay as active as possible, but there is only so many things that i can do, even sometimes while im doing something and keeping myself busy, she comes in my mind, thinking "dang right now we would be having sex, or on the phone or etc..."

 

[Legend]

well thats understandable that shes still on ur mind. She will be for a long time....it takes months to get over a girl you were very close with.

Best advice i can give ya would be to delete her number and anything that reminds you are her. When you do think of her, just think about how she did you wrong. Dont think of the good times, think of bad times, think of the things that bothered you about her.

Also i suggest lifting weights-- blows off stem and improves your appearance.

Dude dont let this girl get to you, she no longer matters to you. Let her wonder what happened to you when you dont talk to her for months.

 

[Plain & Simple]

Only problem is WE WORK TOGETHER, haha we work in the same building so we are gonna be seeing each other very often, ill try to play it cool though, thats why i was asking should i talk to her or not, just a hi and bye, or let her approach me...and iniciate watever converstion if she does at all.