Looks are more important than you think! Merged [Official thread]

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Brad23

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'Women go for testosteronised men.'

True. Hasn't research shown that baldness in men is caused by excessive testosterone levels? But many women find bald men unappealing - why is this, is it because such women occupy the 'lower' numbers, and are unaware that the guy is actually 'too good' for them or a 'bad mix', hence their disinterest?

Also, why is it that so many of the elite soldiers in the UK army are confirmed homosexuals?

Could it be that homosexual men are really THE most high-ranking men of all?

You think I might be onto something there, Darwinian sympathiser? I really enjoyed your reply by the way, it was the best I've seen in a long time.

And I really do think it's no coincidence that super hot model chicks are known to fvck around with their gay designer/hairdresser friends - it's not for company for fvck's sake, it's gene selection!!

All the gay men I've met really do have a massive secret chip on their shoulder about society at large. They are fiercely intelligent, creative, have a real sense of social justice and social conscience, and despite all this, if you dropped them into a Baghdad street fight they would all of a sudden go fvcking mentalistic killing machines.

I think there is definitely something in that/ What do you think?
 

MysteryWoman

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Most women like men with feminine features, this might be an explaination. However just before a period the Russel Crowe effect can kick in, the cave man look
 

White Ninja

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I gotta throw my two cents in:

Whoever said looks are subjective for different people is dead on. Almost everyone can generally agree that models are attractive, but there is a lot of variation in "average" people.

I can't speak for other people, but I can honestly say I would much rather have an LTR with a "7" over a "10". How is this possible?

Quite simply, I don't agree with many of society's standards for good looks. I have one of those flip-up calendars with a different swimsuit model for each day. I find a fourth of them ugly and about half of them just "OK". Don't get me wrong, I would date them but mainly for social proof. For example, I'm not in to these anorexic *****es on tv and in magazines. Most of the women I find REALLY attractive my friends find just alright, or not at all, mayge a 5 or 6. Personally, I think some of my friends' gf's are fugly. One man's 6 is another man's 10.

Do women think the same way? I don't know. Isn't that the purpose of this thread? MW is giving her honest opinion, if you don't like it, great. Its information.

Someone said something about if a guy isn't attractive, he might as well shoot himself as far as most girls are concerned. That sounds unfair, but consider this. If a a girl who you saw as a 3 or 4 was into you, is there honestly any way she could get you into an LTR? Of course not. The fact is, there's not a damn thing she could do about it personality-wise. She could try every trick in the book and would still fail. I'm not saying its exactly the same with women, but I can't picture it being that different with them.

Obviously you shouldn't shoot yourself. But you shouldn't delude yourself either. Hell, if a 3 was constantly hitting on me (again) I would definitely be able to tell her what she had to do to have a chance (if not with me than with a lot more people). If it weren't a capital offense of politically correctness, I would, because it would really help her out. Hell I can think of one right now:

A) Lose 150 lbs
B) Get some plastic surgery
C) Act more feminine
D) Dress like a girl

Most people don't give a fvck so they just laugh at them and bolster their own ego. Maybe I'm a "nice guy" AFC, but I feel sorry for them and would help them if I could.

All I'm saying is don't try to rewrite biology with SS. These DJ techniques are great but they can't REPLACE looks. Even Pook, who everyone seems to think is a god, said that the standards you have for the opposite sex must also be within yourself.

Are you overweight? Lose some weight.
Are you an ugly bastard? If so, then use it to your advantage (like vin diesel or mic jagger) or get some PS.
Do you act like a nerd? Fvcking stop.
I don't believe you can dress like a dork unless you take things to extremes (highwaters, bowtie, taped glasses). How someone carries themselves dictates whether their clothes are cool. Some people can "pull off" certain styles.

Find out what it takes to change and change it. Someone else said something about psychology will dominate every interaction. I believe it's important and should be given more credit, but it can't be the only factor in the equation. There's something inherent in all of us to want to be as attractive as possible. If you could cast a spell on a girl and make her fall in love with you, most would do it. But its just not the same as an EQUAL attraction between two people and can never replace it. I'm not just talking about an LTR here. A ONS is in the same category, you feel like The Man for that ****. You still WANT for the girl to be attracted to you. Physical AND emotional(psychological) attraction are probably both imortant.

Also I believe there's an undefined component of attraction, where you don't know WHY you like someone, only that you do. They may not be the best looking on your scale but there's just "something" about them. I wish I knew more about this. It's probably subconscious.

The bottom line of what I'm saying is this: If you don't like the way things are going, then don't whine about them or try to disprove them. Change them. Improving your looks and personality (game) will improve your chances of finding someone you're attracted to who is attracted to you as well. When I say, improve them I mean anything outside the general spectrum of attractiveness should be changed. Things like: yellow teeth, extreme obesity or anorexia, body odor, bad facial asymmetry; inferiority complexes, ***** behavior. Not necessarily: moderate facial asymmetry, thinness, chunkiness; diffent hobbies, quirks. You still want to be unique. The same goes for personality. Every little bit helps, even celebrities go through a ****load of makeup, lighting, and computer editing. Then they have publicists take care of their images/personalities for them. If YOU don't like something, change it.
 
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Quote:

As for Darwin and Freud theories are good, but they never believe that women could be interested in sex (women didn't admit it in those days). However I think Freud's theory gives the best explaination on the type of person someone falls in love with.
Again I correct you. Freud's theory WILL be contained and be a corollary of the Darwinian theory once it has been properly mathematicised. Your fault is that you see them as complete seperate. It's only a subtle mask of a concept that is yet to be understood, another concept that needs to be addressed in the equation or program.

In fact the Nobel Prize in 1973 award to Niko Tinbergen, Konrad Lorenz and Karl von Frisch sheds extreme light on all this.

Lorenz showed that he could screw up the sexual orientation of ducks by making them imprint on something other than their mother when they hatch out. He managed to make them sexually attracted to human beings in later life since he reared them himself . . .

Human beings too have a kind of imprinting mechanism when young. It's called a love map by well known psychologist Dr John Money. And it's this map that determines whether you fancy someone or not and that is really the end of the matter. . .

As to Ofus, then yes the woman who I fell in love with falls into this situation. I was not really interested in her at first - for 3 months in fact. She showed all the signs of wanting me, even sitting next to me and rubbing against me hard. I would have given her a 7 at the time. She finally gave up and was extremely upset that she never got anywhere with me. It was only after not seeing her for over a month after that did I realised that I truly missed her, and all those strange mushy feelings that I never experienced just came flooding out. All my life I've been a constant thinker and not caring at all about other people think - only on what was true. I tried to make it up to her, but she wouldn't have it - I only succeeded in getting her angry and she wouldn't have anything to do with me anymore. . . .

We humans have a tendency to only want what we want. I can't speak for anyone else here, but for myself I've got to be attracted to a woman to be interested in her. It's nobody's business but my own as to who I find attractive or not. What I think a lot of people here have a problem with is that someone openly admits that they only go for the looks before anything starts to happen. And hey, maybe that's true and maybe that's not. I can perfectly understand that you find it childish and offensive what MW said Brad, and in many ways I totally agree with you. And here's what I mean by it:

I THINK IT MAKES YOU LOOK PRETTY DAMN LOUSY TO THINK THAT YOU ONLY GO OUT WITH SOMEONE JUST FOR THEIR LOOKS ALONE.

I know that you didn't imply this MW but your so called friends seem to - and I wonder why? Given the choice between a 7 and a 10, I would take the 7 anytime if she is sweet, considerate and deeply affectionate because that's what my previous experience has taught me. If we were all to be honest with ourselves nobody want perfection since we all know deep down we aren't perfect ourselves.

MW if you have friends that rate looks that high, especially your now married friend with model looks I would be deeply ashamed to be in their company. It's not a question of lack of maturity, it's simply a lack of humanity.
 

icepick

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Brad23

Hasn't research shown that baldness in men is caused by excessive testosterone levels? But many women find bald men unappealing - why is this, is it because such women occupy the 'lower' numbers, and are unaware that the guy is actually 'too good' for them or a 'bad mix', hence their disinterest?

Baldness is caused by DHT, a derivative of testosterone. It is not caused by excessive testosterone levels but rather excessive conversion of that testosterone into DHT. Woman care not for the man's hair, but I think they are turned off by the 'goofiness' of the 'partly bald' look. When you go bald, it is better to just shave your head...and if you really have that true 'testosterone' going for you, you will have the body to pull it off.

One of my friends shaves his head at 19, (premature balding) is fairly 'built', ****y, and fairly short. I would not consider him to be 'good looking', (but I am a guy, what do I know?) but he still picks up chicks even though he is 'ugly' and 'bald'.

He does not try. They walk up to him. Not like he is the king Don Juan or something, but he gets his fair share of tail. 7-9's usually, but I would not expect him to do this based on his looks...but, again, I am a guy...wtf do I know?

The key is he is not afraid of his sexuality. Chicks consider him to be sexy. They have said this to me.

And I really do think it's no coincidence that super hot model chicks are known to fvck around with their gay designer/hairdresser friends - it's not for company for fvck's sake, it's gene selection!!

No, I do not think it is gene selection. Women will sleep with gay people, because (openly) gay people are also unashamed of thier sexuality.

Just look at most of them, they let thier sexuality control how they act! All the little nuances and styles and ways of talking will usually give a gay person away. They let it control them, they act like women with the fitness and wardrobe, so they make themselves look attractive (to other gay men, but also as an after effect, to women.)

They are not afraid of thier sexuality because they are DEFINED by it. Thier lives revolve around the axis of being gay. Look: "Oh, I am so nervous, I am coming out of the closet"..."My dad hates me ever since he found out"..."Oh! Those clothes would look soooo good on me!"

Women will respond to this raw sexuality...that is if they aren't TOO fruity.

All the gay men I've met really do have a massive secret chip on their shoulder about society at large. They are fiercely intelligent, creative, have a real sense of social justice and social conscience, and despite all this, if you dropped them into a Baghdad street fight they would all of a sudden go fvcking mentalistic killing machines.

Well, they still are men and many gay people work out to improve thier bodies (increase testosterone!)

MysteryWoman

Most women like men with feminine features, this might be an explaination. However just before a period the Russel Crowe effect can kick in, the cave man look

The cave man look! LMFAO!

My Input

Attractiveness IS relative to some extent, AND it is not EVERYTHING.

I take this example: Brad Pitt and Jenifer Aniston...

Many guys use Mr. Pitt as an example of the "handsome" man (10), but I consider Jennifer Aniston to be about a 7.

How did a slightly above average girl get such a catch? Probably using her attitude and personality.
 

STR8UP

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I was GONNA say "A dozen years of reading Cosmo won't do sh!t to change millions of years of evolution" but a few of you were kind enough to take the time to type out the intellectual version.
 

Chubbs Peterson

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Brad23...

First, I explicitly stated that I'm offering GENERALIZATIONS, meaning "What is true and applies to the largest amount of people" Of course everyone has individualized needs and desires, but if you don't think that men AS A WHOLE don't have needs unique to males which differ from women, who have their own unique feminine needs, then I personally give little value to your opinions because I find them rooted in mis-information.

Secondly, to illustrate my point I offered a specific examples--Strip Clubs and Hookers. which you refuted, as well as offering that you don't partake in that type of activity (not that it has to do with anything). Never mind that fact that I CLEARLY stated that women FOR THE MOST PART don't partake in this sort of activity and I ALSO stated CLEARLY that not all males participate in this activity. You're entitiled to your opinions, but if you don't realize that attending strip clubs and hiring prostitutes is a largely a uniquely MALE phenomenon, then again I personally give little value to your opinions because I find them rooted in mis-information.

Third, I 'll offer another example of a primarily MALE phenomenon which illustrate the point that a female's Looks are largely the basis from which males derive sexual satisfaction: PORNOGRAPHY.

VISUAL porn such as magazines and videos are LARGELY consumed by MALES, and NOT females. LITERARY porn, such as romance novels are largely consumed by FEMALES. The male derives stimulus from VISUALS, the female derives stimulus from WORDS and DESCRIIPTIONS, i.e.: demonstrations of personality and character. Most females aren't gonna find a stash of Playgirl magazines hidden away in their mom's closet. And most guys aren't gonna find a stack of romance novels tucked away behind the tools in dad's garage.

As far as female promiscuity and your statement that women can "have ONS with guys they barely even know," there's no denying that attractive females have ONS with attractive males. HOWEVER, there STILL has to be an exchange of personality and a demonstration of the male's character traits in order for the female to confirm that she will have sex with him. Even if it's a brief exchange. In other words, his looks initially attracted her, but his personality and character traits are what seal the deal. A male's "looks" are only 50% of the equation as far as females needs.

Fourth, to offer extreme exceptions, such as "Mini-Me" to support your arguement is just that-- an extreme exception. MOST people aren't dwarves. What about the MAJORITY of people? MOST people fall within an "Average" category. The way to overcome your "average" looks is to have an "above average" personality.

Fifth, Your assertion that highly attractive females go for "ugly duckling" males because on a subconscious level they relate to his understanding of "inequality between status and level of self-confidence" is a generalization that I've never witnessed or heard of. I'm not saying it's untrue, but it sounds curious and unfounded. I'd like more details how you came to this conclusion, and I'm interested if anyone CREDIBLE on this board supports this. (Credible meaning those who have consistently exhibited knowledge and success with females).

ALSO, I sincerely doubt that these "ugly ducking" males DO NOT attract average looking females, as you have asserted. And I doubt that anyone else believes this either. And I doubt that it's in fact true in reality.

Sixth, I chose my words very carefully. I made it explicit that I believed Mystery Woman's ORIGINAL post was indeed correct. I offered no support of her later postings in this thread.

Lastly, your biased, personal statements directed toward Mystery Woman were irrelevant to the discussion as well as your arguements, which for ME, PERSONALLY, does not show any sort of clear thought.

I stand by my original post.
 

Starman

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Im not getting into this whole debate..because its a tired topic..and it varies from individual to individual..

But the way I see it..Wipe off the 50 lbs of make-up on any girls face..and then compare them to your own..and guess who would suddenly be "better looking?"

Ive seen women who I would rate a Stunning 8-9...and then saw them again without make-up..dropping them to a 5-6

and while you may argue ..she is still HOT! with Makeup!!! Imagine her as your girlfriend..and walking around the house without her make-up
 

Chemistry

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As exhausted as this thread may be, I wanted to drop my take on the situation...

First impressions are key... the simplest first impression is made on simply a looks basis, whether it be when you walk into a club, down the street or wherever, the first thing a person will judge you on, is looks... because it's there in your face

It's a curiousity thing, a mystery thing... whereas an average lookin' guy will have to convey some kinda value to generate an interest in him, a good lookin' guy can skip that, as since the girl rates his apperance highly, she is curious to get to know him... he has the looks, will he have the personality to match, she wonders

However, what a person finds attractive can vary greatly... which is what any guy, or girl for that matter, needs to remember... it's done on the psychological level, often a girl who lacked somethin growin' up subconsciously searches for that in a male... her father was never home when she was growin' up, so that guy who I, or a majority of girls would regard as being a 4 or 5, is what she regards as good lookin' because she fulfils the mould that her mind has set out, i.e. looks like her father...

I mean I've dated some stunnin girls, not on a personal viewpoint but on the view of a whole club where guys are comin' up to this girl all night, bouncers are comin' off the door to dance with her... honestly, I'd say these guys bore a bigger resemblance to the general icons such as Brad Pitt, David Beckham than I do, and they tried their hardest to get this girl interested... what did I do? Havin' never talked to this girl once, 5 minutes after first seein' her I get told by her friend that she likes me... havin' never spoken to her, or met her prior to that, I held my hand out, she grabbed it and the next minute we were kissin' on the dancefloor. If this girl didn't find me attractive on a looks basis, this wouldn't have happened... and the same on my part, if I didn't find her attractive then, you know the story... she rejected them, not because she's not worth knowin' but because they didn't meet her standards...

End of the day, it's up to everyone to best exert their value in some way... whether it be the not so good lookin' guy who has the great job, or the great lookin' guy who has the not so good job... but what has to be realised by everyone, is that there will always be someone who is goin' to be better off... for the not so good lookin' guy with the great job, there will always be that good lookin' guy with the great job, it's just how it is...

The whole personality, conversation thing is what maintains a relationship or whatever... if you can't keep the girl intrigued and interested because looks will wear thin after a while, there's gonna be a guy out there who looks almost the same as you, or better... so the confident, independant woman will skip onto him, in search of a more compatible mate, if your personality isn't all that...

Personally, I want somethin' that is great on the surface, and great beneath that... to say that if a HB turns you down based on looks means that she isn't worth knowin' is simply a way of dealin' with rejection... this girl is widely regarded as stunning, and the majority I see out are currently at University, and do happen to have great personalities as I fell into that friend zone with a few, lol... I see these girls reject guys that approach them, not because he fails to neg hit her or whatever, he just isn't up to the right standards in the looks department... these guys can go home with the belief that she wasn't worth knowin' but the fact that I know her on a personal level, I can safely say that she is... she just wants someone who can fulfil her when she looks at him as well as when she talks with him... since she's young, independant, she's in no rush or need to settle down, so she'll reject those who don't meet her criteria... if she gets to the point where she wants to settle down, and hasn't thus far, then the criteria won't be as strict, as she still searches for that personality, but is more willing to accept guys who aren't as good lookin'

I think that's what Mystery Woman's post is reflective of... the next generation of powerful women as it was... she's surrounded by women who will be in high powered jobs in a few years, so all these Uni guys who aren't attractive but have a personality, are gonna be dropped in favour of the attractive Uni guys who are good lookin'... these women don't need financial benefits, they want the personality and looks package, and there are lots of guys who have those qualities, so it shouldn't really come as a surprise...
 

Brad23

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Whooah!

Chubbs, you took that way too personally, I honestly didn't mean it like that, I didn't mean to offend you!

I had a lot to say, so I thought I'd make it as decisive and clear as possible, but I didn't mean to be arrogant, I was trying to put forward a lot of information in as concise a way as possible.

You are right in that a lot of men DO use pornography, go to strip clubs, hire hookers, etc., and admittedly, that not all men do this, but I do object to your conception of ONSs, as I KNOW from experience that there ARE a lot of women here in the UK who sleep with guys they barely know, who they have just met, guys who are good looking but haven't demonstrated 'good personality traits' at all on the night.

Maybe you just haven't had the life experiences I have had.
Maybe it's just a different culture in your particular part of the world, and you don't see seedy things like that happening often.

For example, one of my of my former housemates was literally a thug, and acted like one in the nightclubs, and almost ALWAYS brought a low-ranking woman back with him, and b.anged her. They didn't give a s.hit whether he had a good personality or not, they just liked the look of him and appreciated his muscles.

Also, when I was referring to 'ugly ducklings,' I was thinking of guys who I have known (including myself) who are good looking but don't always demonstrate the positive, confident body language that would normally be expected of somebody so good-looking, because they haven't always enjoyed high status, the mental imprint of 'failure' is still there. Either because they used to be 'ugly' or tried too hard in school, got bullied etc.

To me, guys like this ALWAYS stand out - they are very often the guys who are mistaken for being gay when they are not.

When I speak to guys like this, they soon show their true colours - they are intelligent, creative, multi-talented perfectionists, but the scars of their previous life as a supposed less desirable person can still be seen in their body language.

In other words, they do not carry themselves according to their strengths, even though they do have many. The women who are able to see beyond the superficial 'negatives' find the many positives that lie beyond, whereas many others will just NOT get 'it', they only see the negative body language and outer behaviour, and just think 'LOSER.'

They can't understand the concept that this particular guy MEASURES himself by different standards to those by which SHE measures herself. In my experience, the less understanding of these two prototypes is the lower-ranking woman, and a lot of HBSs are good at 'SEEING' these hidden abilities and personality strengths that the lower-ranking woman is typically oblivious to.

I hope I made things clearer here. I really had no intention to belittle you or your opinions Chubbs, I was merely trying to be direct in putting my ideas across, since there was so much to write.

With regards to my attitude towards MW, it's good to see women posting on here, but I stand by my point that she hasn't really told us anything we didn't already know. It just sounded like she had a bad night out down the pub and thought she'd try to bruise our egos by writing totally unhelpful comments on a forum meant for DJing skills.

Chubbs, that's just how I saw it, and I thought it was a little immature of MW because it was a sort of bitter 'don't bother chumps' type of post rather than a more positive 'right, I'm in this life, so how can I do the best with what I've got?' post.

Surely, as Darwinian sympathiser points out, the whole point of DJing is to improve on what you already have, to play to your strengths and use this to climb up the scale of girls who were ALREADY biologically more attracted or predisposed to you, but needed more proof that you were 'worthy' of whatever type of relationship they have in mind at the time?

Yes, there is a certain membrane through which you will never be able to penetrate. But surely we all knew that before MW posted this thread!

It almost goes without saying, that the women who think 'no' when they look at you will hardly ever change their minds, and even if they did, would you really want somebody who from square one was convinced that they were doing you a favour? What kind of life would that be anyway?!

My whole point is, people who are obsessed about looks are usually miserable and totally uninteresting people to be around.

We all know there are certain realities, but that's NOT
ground-breaking news.

Some of the most 'high ranking' men in Hollywood have wasted years of their lives through drug addiction and depression, because they have been chasing an impossible dream of perfection only to realise that people have pretty much the same lot in life anyway.

So Chubbs in particular, also MW, please don't take any offence to my words, you know we all understand the issues at stake here, but there are differences between gauging somebody's attractiveness level to you, and going around openly discussing people's physical flaws in public like so many UK sl.appers do, and thinking that it's satisfactory behaviour which will win you friends that are worth having.

What I found irritating about the original post was the undercurrent of 'I don't give a s.hit about the guys who I am not attracted to, so there!' The question is: if MysteryWoman is so adept at finding fulfillment in her own life, why the h.eck is spending time posting comments like these on a men's forum?
 

MysteryWoman

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But wouldn't it be boring if we didn't have controversial discussions from time to time?
 

Chubbs Peterson

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Originally posted by Brad23
Whooah!

Chubbs, you took that way too personally, I honestly didn't mean it like that, I didn't mean to offend you!
....
For example, one of my of my former housemates was literally a thug, and acted like one in the nightclubs, and almost ALWAYS brought a low-ranking woman back with him, and b.anged her. They didn't give a s.hit whether he had a good personality or not, they just liked the look of him and appreciated his muscles.
No offense taken.

One thing is important to realize: A "good" personality doesn't necesarily mean "nice" or "pleasant"

A good "personality" as far as females are concerned is one that demonstrates anything "exciting" and "fun" among other things. Perhpas the most important trait however, is a personality that demonstrates "SURVIVAL SKILLS."

A thug no doubt has survival skills, and he's exciting too. That's why you former housemate could pick up chicks and have ONS. Thugs know what they want, and they go after it. They have SURVIVAL skills. At a BASE level, females are attracted to whomever shows signs of being able to carry on and protect their genes.

But yes, this was a good discussion. Thanks for joining in.

Gotta go.

--Chubbs.
 

Thor

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Wow, Brad. Your last post described me perfectly...I am tall, handsome, smart(list goes on and on :) But I'm thin and very shy.

Up to middle school I was funny looking and very unathletic, and then I bloomed. I had it real bad in high school. But that negative feeling with me has stuck with me though. I avoid going to places with large groups of people because of what they will think. People say I look like a f*g all the time, but I am not, 100 percent positive.

I sit around in my room all day and read books. Life is slowly getting better. They put me on Paxil temporarily and things are improving. Once I get in shape things and get things straight mentally, life will be great.

I forgot what the topic of this thread was really about...Looks? I think they matter, but people have to compromise and put value on other things, especially personality. I wouldn't date a woman just because she was hot...There are a lot of beautiful women.
 

Lionheart

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Aragh...I'll add my fuel to this fire.

I can't be arsed to write a huge reply, as a good proportion of what is to be said has been said, and who reads the back end of threads, honestly? ;)

I don't agree, I think by it's very nature the female heart can be reached by good seduction methods, as we are DJ's if you've done your job correctly, she will never leave you and you will be the one controlling the relationship.

This 'awakening of female sexuality' is just another product of the AFC generation, it won't effect a DJ.

As for Looks VS Personality, I would be content to have an average looking, but smart, and interesting lover over a beautiful fool.


.....But maybe that's just me.

Lion.
 

OzzyBoy

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This stupid talk about model looking girls dating ugly guys is a load of bull**** I have never seen it and I think the only people talking about it is the people trying to sell stupid books about dating anyone you like and taking advantage of the many desperate guys that would do anything to go out with someone.
 

Synthesis

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Every once in a while someone posts a message that says something like "LOOKS REALLY DO MATTER!"

What are those people thinking? Do you expect us to be shocked?

WOW!!!! HOLY CRAP!!!! I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED!!!!! WOW LOOKS REALLY DO MATTER I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!!!!

If you're a girl and you must post here, why don't you at least try to tell us something semi-useful?

On second thought, don't even bother.

I'm going to have to agree with the guys that say to ignore female posts. There's too much of a gender gap. The way women think conflicts with the way men think.

If you must read any dating advice written by a female, take it with a grain of salt. It's like listening to the Al Qaeda officials speak -- although their points of view are quite fascinating, they are just way off the mark.
 
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Ashley Chuckles is right on the money.

Let me end this for you all right now. NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE, can CHOOSE for another person. You can only choose for yourself. That's the end of it.

I'm sick and fvcking tired of all these losers that come onto this forum in the vain hope that they can get some girl simply by the way they act in front of her or by a change of personality when they know deep down she's not interested or that she's just playing games with them.

A relationship happens because both parties WANT it to happen. He chose her and she chose him, each one from the possible other choices available to them. Who's fvcking business is it what the reasons were?

Let me put this further and tell you all that I do not respect Pook's advice or any one else's regarding furthering oneself, or having a positive mindset or making women a secondary part of your life and so on. . . There are two people I truly respect here: Anti-Dump and DeepDish, because they really tell the truth. DeepDish's post entitled "Women are simple" is to me a breathtakingly intellectual tour de force and I truly mean that - I would have written such a devastating post if I had found the words but us mathematical apprentices are not particularly good at expressing ourselves in words.

On the contrary, dear boys, the business of women is (whether you like it or not) deeply important because it's sexual selection that got us all into this mess in the first place. There are things in the human psyche that is not open to negotiation and this is one of them. Sexual selection pressures is so important that it comes at the cost of the life of the individual - and this has been shown for far too many species to mention. So we should expect cases of men who totally fvck up their lives for a particular women (and history and films have shown this theme far too often) because we decended from ancestors who did value getting it with a women to produce offspring at the cost of other things in their lives. I'm not saying that you should put women at the back of your mind or that they should be secondary to what you do in your life. What I'm saying is those ancestor's who did other things and did not get any women never passed on their genes and their behavioural tendencies did not get passed on. Your behavioural tendencies are complex but the essence of them is towards bonding and mating. Because of evolutionary effects there is a very small percentage of the population who do not have this need but that's only expected.

Therefore people, following Anti-Dump, you don't need to flirt to impress a woman, she already has to be impressed by you in the first place. Let us all try to get the best deal we CAN (whatever that means) because you can be SURE AS HELL she'll try to get the best deal she CAN. And in case you're wondering this is an arms race with one party trying to outdo the other. Self concious thought and logic does not come into this. Our feelings do the thinking for us. We may all try and anaylse and say that it's looks or that it's a person's character, but at the end of the day our feelings will be the judge of that. I've been most fortunate in being trained not to give a damn about what other people say.

So as an ending speech, you can only choose those that choose you. Whether she's doing because of your looks is entirely extraneous to the outcome - rejection or acceptance. What I mean by that is MW can say all the fvck she wants about women caring about men's looks because as an observer she's just doing that - observing. She cannot effect the outcome of anyone's relationship (forthcoming or otherwise). As for her now married friend only dating guys in the looks department, good for her. That's her choice and no one can choose for her. Why should any one of us find that intimidating because at the end of the day we are all only going to end up with someone that WANTs to be with us.
 

mikel

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Looks are psychological, but are essential. Your unconscious is picking who it thinks is the most suitable mate. There was a test done with (some sort) of animal that used direct mate selection and pre-determined. The direct mate selections offsprings were much more healthy than those that picked for them.

Say a fat women during a famine would be more physically attractive to men than a skinny women would. Because if she became pregnant her kids would have a much greater chance of survival. We take things like this into consideration, when it's just under the shroud of what we think is hot or not.

Physical attraction is part of our genetic code, men usually could care less about the non superficial things. Because we produce gametes at a much higher rate than women. But women produce them at a much slower rate, and will take looks and other factors into consideration before choseing a mate, which means they will be alot more picky than we will.

So, your "game" does has something to do with it boys. But women are into looks as much as guys are. It's just their instict just as it is ours.

Oh yeah, dont fool yourself with trying to controlling/changeing some womens physical attraction towards you, because it is something they dont even have control over. ;)
 
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