Looks are more important than you think! Merged [Official thread]

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Brad23

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Also, SexPDX is spot on.

Good looks help you to convey the belief in your attractiveness, which makes you more attractive and also GIVES MEANING in aspiring to other things.

A guy who, realistically, will never pull the women he really wants, will probably see less of a point in trying to make a million, for example, than a guy who can ALREADY pull the women he wants.

I can guarantee that Mick Jagger could pull HBs before he became famous, so don't tell me that example is BS, it isn't.
 

MysteryWoman

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Brad 23

Don't come out with this Psychological bullshyt that guys are after hot babes because they are less shallow, they just want to fcuk them. Alot of guys on this forum say that HB's are the most high maintainance women of all, play games and are general bytchs.
Some guys want nothing to with them, some will play there game just to fcuk them (if they can).

Maybe you met some goodlooking women that are not completely shallow, but most of them are (maybe not with looks but definately with money or manipulating a guy). Yes I know 6 and 7's who are selective and don't always get the guys they want, but most average women date guys equally good looking to themselves.

I have a friend with model looks (who is married now), she use to ruthlessly date guys soley for looks and ditched them when a better guy came along. I have never been this ruthless.

Another very good looking friend use to occassionally get a guy into bed and refuse sex with him (I've never done this), but she has grown up and doesn't do this any more.

As for my last boyfriend, well he was just too conservative for me.
I prefer uncoventional guys.

Brad 23 you may be better looking than you give yourself credit if you have managed to date a few models.

I don't care about what you look like or the women you chose to date, but don't try and lecture me about being interested in physical appearance.

I work out at the gym at least three times a week and don't drink like a laddett, why should I have to feel guilty about being interested in physical appearance? After all you are!
 

Brad23

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Why are you so angry?

Because my argument is more sophisticated than yours, and looks further into the real issues?

Guys DO care more about inner attractiveness more than you think. Obviously, somebody who is attractive on the outside as well as the inside will be seen as more desirable. Works both ways.

Anyway, what's wrong with a girl getting a guy into bed and refusing sex with him? It's difficult to initiate relationships in the UK now, as I'm sure you'll agree. I've been there - got a HB into bed and not had sex, but because of the situation (i.e. the fact that she is a strict Catholic - see, things are more complicated that you generalise them as being) we didn't have sex. What's wrong with that? It was a nice romantic night.

So, MysteryWoman, you neglect the fact that good-looking, funny successful millionaire men have struggled to get where they are, and they won't appreciate a woman who is 'honest,' as you are, that they analyse everyone they meet for 'how much they are worth.'

Think about it!

These guys are not stupid. They have built up wealth and status, so they know they could lose it as well. What if the guy was paralysed in a car accident? You've already established that you'd more than likely ditch him and sue him for half of everything he owned.

That's what your attitude has communicated to him before any possible relationship has even begun. How could any guy really fall in love with somebody who feels (or isn't capable of feeling) like that?

Life is complicated, MysteryWoman. You sound like a very immature young woman who hasn't realised what it's all about. It also sounds like YOU hang around with b.itches. Not all women hang around with the b.itches you hang around with.

You're just angry with me because I have struck a nerve.
 

cestmoi

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So Brad... Mystery Woman...

When's the wedding? LOL

Seriosly, your arguing reminds me of the arguing of two people who after the arguing kissed and got together. They've been together for 8 months now :)
 

cestmoi

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Ok here it is the end to this thread. I just received the latest newsletter from D'Angelo and he sums it up perfectly.

Read this and all will be clear:




Here's the revelation:

Men are more attracted to physical traits, and women are
more attracted to personality traits.

Men get sexually aroused and "turned on" instantly at
the sight of a young, shapely female body. As a man, you
know that this process happens instantly and "all by itself", meaning you don't really have a choice in the matter.

Well, WOMEN get sexually aroused initially and "turned
on" when they interact with a man that has certain
QUALITIES and PERSONALITY TRAITS.

WOMEN BECOME INSTANTLY TURNED ON SEXUALLY WHEN THEY
ARE IN THE PRESENCE OF CERTAIN PERSONALITY TRAITS, JUST
LIKE MEN BECOME TURNED ON BY CERTAIN PHYSICAL TRAITS...
AND THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT ANY MAN CAN LEARN THESE TRAITS
AND INTEGRATE THEM INTO HIS OWN PERSONALITY.

Think about that for a moment.

Men become turned on by what they can see. Women become turned on by what can NEVER be seen.

And even when it comes to the physical, women are still
more interested in the HOW than the WHAT...

It's not as much his body as the way a man holds it and carries it.

It's not as much his voice as the way a man uses it.

Do physical looks, money, fame, power, height, age, etc. play into this at all?

Of course they do.

But they're not NEARLY as important as most men think
they are.

If you're tall, handsome, rich, and famous... great.
You'll probably have an easier time attracting women. But
just watch the tabloids... this can open the door for a guy, but it doesn't at all guarantee that the woman will stay around. There are a LOT of rich, famous, powerful men who still have no success with women.

To sum up...

Attraction is different for men than it is for women.

While men are attracted mostly by physical traits, women
are attracted mostly by PERSONALITY traits.

Women don't decide who to feel attracted to with their logical minds. They "decide" with their emotions, and then make up reasons and rationalize it.

ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE!

This is why some men attract women so well, while others don't... and why ANY man can improve his success with women DRAMATICALLY, no matter what his looks, age, or income.

I want you to think about what you've just read, and pay attention when you're out watching men and women interact.

Start noticing those things that men are doing to attract women that are related to their PERSONALTIES and their COMMUNICATION with women. You'll see things you've never seen before, and learn secrets that will improve your success with women tremendously.
 

Don't always be the one putting yourself out for her. Don't always be the one putting all the effort and work into the relationship. Let her, and expect her, to treat you as well as you treat her, and to improve the quality of your life.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

regulus

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Originally posted by cestmoi
Ok here it is the end to this thread. I just received the latest newsletter from D'Angelo and he sums it up perfectly.

Read this and all will be clear:




Here's the revelation:

Men are more attracted to physical traits, and women are
more attracted to personality traits.

Men get sexually aroused and "turned on" instantly at
the sight of a young, shapely female body. As a man, you
know that this process happens instantly and "all by itself", meaning you don't really have a choice in the matter.

Well, WOMEN get sexually aroused initially and "turned
on" when they interact with a man that has certain
QUALITIES and PERSONALITY TRAITS.

WOMEN BECOME INSTANTLY TURNED ON SEXUALLY WHEN THEY
ARE IN THE PRESENCE OF CERTAIN PERSONALITY TRAITS, JUST
LIKE MEN BECOME TURNED ON BY CERTAIN PHYSICAL TRAITS...
AND THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT ANY MAN CAN LEARN THESE TRAITS
AND INTEGRATE THEM INTO HIS OWN PERSONALITY.

Think about that for a moment.

Men become turned on by what they can see. Women become turned on by what can NEVER be seen.

And even when it comes to the physical, women are still
more interested in the HOW than the WHAT...

It's not as much his body as the way a man holds it and carries it.

It's not as much his voice as the way a man uses it.

Do physical looks, money, fame, power, height, age, etc. play into this at all?

Of course they do.

But they're not NEARLY as important as most men think
they are.

If you're tall, handsome, rich, and famous... great.
You'll probably have an easier time attracting women. But
just watch the tabloids... this can open the door for a guy, but it doesn't at all guarantee that the woman will stay around. There are a LOT of rich, famous, powerful men who still have no success with women.

To sum up...

Attraction is different for men than it is for women.

While men are attracted mostly by physical traits, women
are attracted mostly by PERSONALITY traits.

Women don't decide who to feel attracted to with their logical minds. They "decide" with their emotions, and then make up reasons and rationalize it.

ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE!

This is why some men attract women so well, while others don't... and why ANY man can improve his success with women DRAMATICALLY, no matter what his looks, age, or income.

I want you to think about what you've just read, and pay attention when you're out watching men and women interact.

Start noticing those things that men are doing to attract women that are related to their PERSONALTIES and their COMMUNICATION with women. You'll see things you've never seen before, and learn secrets that will improve your success with women tremendously.
I have to disagree with this quote. This guy makes a living by telling guys what they want to hear. In this case, it's that looks don't matter.
 

cestmoi

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Originally posted by regulus
I have to disagree with this quote. This guy makes a living by telling guys what they want to hear. In this case, it's that looks don't matter.
He isn't saying looks don't matter. Infact half his book is dedicated to improving your looks. Download it on ***** and see.

What he's saying is that you shouldn't depends on your looks. Most of the guys who have no confidence with women do not because they beleive they don't have the right "looks" to attract women. That's dumbest and oldest excuse.

If you aren't willing to improve, you won't. Stop blaming it on your genes.
 

cestmoi

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Damn. This is stupid. K-a-z-a-a is censored. It's not illegal or insulting. Its just an internet service. STUPID
 

Ramin

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Mystery woman:

You are arguing that women care about looks and that is definitely true. I would never argue with that. Most of them do.
You are 100% correct about that.

I am just wondering if you are accepting that there is also a lot of diversity in opinions on what is "HOT"? It IS very hard for an extremely ugly guy to date a 9 or 10 woman unless he has money or fame. However, a lot of 9 or 10 women will date a man that most women think is a 5 or 6 because he's HOT in their eyes for some reason. This means that most average looking guys can score HOT BABES if they try hard enough!! That is why DJ techniques are important. It helps average guys have the courage to score hot babes by not giving up and by increasing their chances with women that have SOME interest in them. It helps them MOVE UP THE LADDER so to speak. Do you see my point now?
 

Chubbs Peterson

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Originally posted by cestmoi
Ok here it is the end to this thread. I just received the latest newsletter from D'Angelo and he sums it up perfectly.

Read this and all will be clear:

Here's the revelation:

Men are more attracted to physical traits, and women are
more attracted to personality traits.

Blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah...
EXACTLY!!!! This is what I've been trying I was trying to explain.

For men, physicality is probably, like, 80% of what turns us on. As far as attaction is concerned, we don't give a damn about a girls personality. Consider the reality that men can have anonymous sex with someone they don't even know. Women can't or don't. They have to actually get to know the man before considering having sex.

A perfect example of this is guys who go to strip clubs or hire hookers. When a guy goes to a strip club or a hooker, there is very little "relationship" involved--very little interaction of "personality" And YET still, for males, there is GREAT attraction. (Granted, they don't represent EVERY male, but it's it's certainly a trait that is unique to males.)

For the most part, this doesn't happen with females. Females (attractive or not) don't go to strip clubs or hire male prostitues with the the same frequency. Females need interaction and communication, and ultimately, a display of good personality traits, to be turned on.

For a woman, it seems that looks are probably 50% of what turns them on. If you don't have an attractive personality, they WILL NOT be attracted to you any longer.

REMEMBER GUYS, FEMALES NEED MORE THAN MALES DO IN ORDER TO BE TURNED ON. A guy's looks are more important than we think, but not AS important as we think.

That David D'Angelo excerpt hit the nail on the head. Thank you cestmoi.


(On a personal level, I'm a very good looking guy, but I grew up thinking I was ugly. As I grew older, FEMALES would always tell me how attractive I was. Want to get to know me, etc, However, I couldn't get laid to save my life until I worked on my personlity.)


MYSTERY WOMAN, I respect you and I think it's great that you are on this board. I think your original post was correct. The problem is that the males here have incorrectly interpreted what you've written and applied it to a male way of thinking, when you are merely offering a refreshingly objective ( ;) ) female way of thinking.

The value level of "physical attractiveness" is GENERALLY different between men and women. So when you come on here, you are offering your FEMALE perspective. (Not a subjective, individual perspective, but a probably a uniquely female perspective.) The problem is that the males here aren't taking this into consideration.

When a MALE says "looks matter," he generally means looks are almost **EXCLUSIVELY**, the ONLY thing that matters. Or at least the larger percentage of what matters. Because to us males, how a female looks is damn near everything. So when a female tells us (male) looks are very important, we males often erroneously interpret that as meaning we can't get a hot girl unless we are just as equally and EXCLUSIVELY physically hot, regardless of other traits (such as personality). That's generally how a man thinks in regards to sexually evaluating someone.


GUYS: Anyone who thinks that your looks ALONE and EXCLUSIVELY is the reason why you can't get girls is looking for reasons to VALIDATE YOUR OWN FAILURE. For those of you who are NOT very good looking, You are twisting Mystery Woman's words into something that you WANT to hear and not taking into consideration the fact that men and woman have different NEEDS (as I've discussed above)

Men and women have different interpretations of the same thing, SO unless there is an equal, agreed upon definition, there will always be confusion.

Bottom line...
Yes, looks are more important than YOU think. But NOT AS important as YOU think.

For MALES, a female's looks are the "End all, be all."

For FEMALES, looks are just one important component of many OTHER components.
 
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Well I'm here to tell you there is such a magic wand. Something that will make you almost completely irresistible to any woman you "point it" at. Something guaranteed to fill your life with love, romance, and excitement.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

MysteryWoman

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My final conclusions:

I'd love to meet David D'Anglio in his eyes women like me do not exist (don't think I'm unique). Wonder what he makes of the likes of Cher, Joan Collins, Kylie Minouge, Barbra Roach (English guys will know her) and Madonna?

What about the model who are married to rich ugly guys and mess around with good looking gigglos? Guys wake up he is after your money, of course he will say what you want to hear

I don't care if guys go for looks, but If I am no physically attracted to guy then there is no way I will get involved with him.

As for Brad 23 he is a bit of an AFC that he over idolises a beautiful woman to an extent, that he lets her get him bed and doesn't mind her refusal of sex (when one of my friends did this the guy dumped her week later). He obviously couldn't see that he was being manipulated.

The facts

Women are becoming more looks orientated
Men are taking more pride in their looks and even having cosmetic surgery.
More men are becoming anorexic.

If women never went for looks than guys would hardley ever experience rejection.

I think I so David D'anglio photo and he is quite good looking which defeats the whole object.
 
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I suppose my previous post have been badly recieved considering that it was actually badly written.

In any case I'm posting here because I do truely believe that I have something constructive to say and genuine insights to offer.

Let me first start with the preliminaries, to which I take extremely brutal offence to.

The guy who sent is photo is not ugly, and the evolutionary theory has slight flaws, although mainly true, is dated.
MysteryWoman, I do not intend to flame nor insult you, but that shows total ignorance and lack of intelligence. If you eventually get to do the high levels of mathematics that I am about to do, and I'm only a humble graduate student mind, you will see just how ignorant you really are. The Darwinian evolutionary theory is the only workable theory that we have about how and why life is the way it is - there is NO other theory. These so called other theories of Freud (some right some wrong) and the much more recent ones (some of which I have read up on) are going to be merely trivial corollaries of a Grand Unified Theory of human psychology that has yet to be worked out. And the reason for this is simple - our mathematics is not strong enough yet. It requires a radically new way of thinking and new concepts - in short it requires someone of the order of a Newton or a Gauss to inject vitality and open up new paths to attack the major problems and concepts at hand.

Let me give you a disturbing example of the power of this view: I personally hate chimpanzees. I think they're grotesque - but I'll tell you what, I'm interested in them because they share 96.4% of our genes (it actually might be higher than this). I have never been to Africa nor observed Chimpanzees in the wild. However I took to reading Dawkin's "The Selfish Gene" and Morris's "Nake Ape Trilogy" and modified and conjectured, on Game Theoretical grounds, that the Alpha Male in a chimp colony should want to murder (and maybe eat) the offspring of a rival male and that he would enlist the aid of his subordinates to do so. This disturbing thought experiment was done by me in 1996 and I kept it to myself and was deeply disturbed by it. Notice everything was conjectured on theoretical grounds on the "Gene Selfish" view of evolution and by delicate mathematical arguments that I can not go into here. It was a complete shock to find that I was right 3 years later when I saw such a program about cannabilism amongst chimpanzees.

Now let me clean a few things up for you and Brad: You say women care about men's looks - that I totally agree with, but it does vary from person to person who they find attractive or not. I have done extensive thinking on this matter and have fallen out with a lot of friends over it, and I've been honest and strong enough to admit my own mistakes and apologise to them.

The problem I see is that people go onto this discussion forum hoping there's a miracle way of attracting that special person (and it's never persons) that they are interested in when they probably had enough signs from the woman in question that she's not interested. (I know because I use to be one of them as I honestly admit). The person with a proper retort to all this is DeepDish with the link below:

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=21847

The thing is, is that you find it offensive that some man who may not be your type can attract you by his "character" or his other valuable assets and that really angers you, thinking that we men just have to find the right stuff to press. I too was angered by an ex friend saying that I should not be so into looks myself (I'm a 9 or 10, but believe me I'll a damn 11 when I get a professor's chair - just you see) and that I should really give any woman a chance to get to know her and maybe then I'll like her. I've realised throughout my life I just can't do that.

Consider the following famous experiment done by a psychologist who I've forgotten the name of. He had 15 boys and 15 girls and have 30 piece of paper number 1 to 30. He stuck these pieces of paper onto the foreheads of these people so that they can all see that numbers on other people's foreheads but not on theirs. The psychologist now tells them all to pair off with the highest number that they could find. Of course number 30 got together with number 29 and so on until everything filtered done with, sadly, name 1 ending with number 2.

And that's how we are in life. Who's going to accept second best for themselves? - we all want the best we can get. Nobody is taking anyone's independence of action away from anyone else. We end up with someone because we WANT to. When we don't want someone we all show it - in our demeanour and even our words when it comes to it. We choose for ourselves - but we CANNOT choose for other people. Who's business is it anyway if you see some stunning babe with an ugly guy? Does that imply that those that are not blessed with good looks should somehow reach for these loser's manuals on how to attract any woman they want (knowing that they're complete and utter crap anyway)? No it doesn't.

Human beings are mathematical objects to me. I can say this because we are digitally defined by our DNA and DNA is just a FINITE DIGITAL CODE that we mathematicians can do our mathematics on, and the Darwinian theory is an integral part of it.

As an aside: to cast a little light the reason why men can agree quickly to sex is that men only have to produce sperm whereas the woman has to invest much more in getting pregrant and producing the baby. This assymetry was first put forward by Trivers. She will be after Quality, He should be after Quantity. See "The Red Queen" by Mat Ridley for further discussions.

We are bounded by our evolutionary path and our animal instincts and urges shows through in all our affairs no matter what the FVCK we say to the contrary (and I have have purposely put that in bold because I strongly mean it). Our past is Darwinian, our present is Darwinian and our future is Darwinian. That's not negotiable - it's just a brutally honest fact of life just like the simple fact that we are all going to die.

As far as I can make out of all this Brad has also made an important point. You have only one life so you should live it well and to the max. He also have been terrible honest about how other women have reacted to him and seems to want to revenge himself by labelling them as *****es. I myself would not label such people as such, I see eveyone on this earth as fundamentally selfish and if someone just happens to find another unattractive, for whatever reason, the so be it. There's nothing more to say and I'm absolutely sure that no amount of DJ skills would change their minds. People are they way they are because they are the way they are (tautalogical I know). And you can ONLY choose the things that CHOOSE you.

For example when I was young I wanted to be a professional biologist. But I knew as I got older I just never had it in me. That's just the way life is. I've seen other students fall by the wayside because they never made the grade and settled to doing tedious jobs (even though some of them are earning in the region of over £120K now) while I just dominated and took top rank at my uni.

Yes looks are important and if you are saying that mysterywoman then so be it. They are important to you and you want to digitally extend that to all women including some of your good looking friends. I got news for you all: Looks matters, but it's also how to feel about a person. I fell in love with someone who didn't WANT me - for whatever reason that was. But by some uncanny twist of fate the best looking girl in college fancied me and I was so emotionally fvcked up about all this that I just moved uni.

Finally, and thanks for listening to my long rant (it's pretty incoherent since I've just had over 13 hours of mathematical thinking previous to this and it helps relieve my day), let us not forget that the sole purpose of partnering someone in a long term relationship is the production of offspring. I think it was Arthur Schopenhauer who put forward the view that love was actually vain and prejudice in the sense that the partners can be at each other throats or simply wouldn't choose each other for friends but as partners because of sexual attraction. And there is also a corollary to this that some genes are not suited to others. That is there are some extremely good looking women that you can never be attracted to because at a genetic level even though her genes are good they are just not good for you to pair with in producing a child . . . .

As for myself, and I mean this honestly, if I don't find a women attractive I would not even bother with her. Like mysterywoman I don't date women I'm not attracted to. I don't care if she has other great qualities (like high intelligence, good voice, great dress sense, earns a huge amount of money, socially adept etc. .) If I find her physically unattractive then I wouldn't even consider dating her, regardless of her personality.
 

cestmoi

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Listen mystery woman. David D'Angelo truly is after AFC's money. But nobody here i think bought his book or products. We have been saying looks don't matter much long before David D'Angelo apperead on the scene. We only refer to him every so often because he's good at putting it in words. He does a good job of explaining the phenomena. All who are true beleivers of this phenomena (like myself) have experienced it themselves.

BTW I study social psychology as a hobby. And I am talking about books that cover scientific studies. What we've been saying here all the time has been proven time and again. Its deeply in women's genes to seek a MAN (the testosterone overfilled) kind. That fact hasn't changed significantly in the past 6000 years. What makes you think it suddenly changed in the past 20 years?

Try picking up some books on attraction written from the scientific viewpoint. It's TRUE that you "think" that a guy is pretty and you do "think" that's why you're attracted to him. The truth is that(subconciosly) you like him because of the manly characteristics he's displaying. And the more you like him, the more attractive you find him.

This is all proven thru numerous studies.

No matter what we are gonna say to you, you're still gonna beleive what you beleive. You aren't gonna beleive you find a guy "pretty" because subconciosly some characteristics of his make him appear attractive to you.

So the point is:

We beleive in everything you say. We do beleive girls are looking to guys who they find better looking. We do beleive looks do matter to some degree.

But what we also understand is that there's different dynamics at play influencing why you find a men better looking. Please try to understand that. And do try to read some books on it.

I can understand how you can find D'Angelo wrong. But all he is is a guy who simplifies it for the common people. What he's saying is the same thing Psychologist, Behaviorists and Biologists are saying.

Now all those couldn't be wrong?
 

Ofus

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Whoa, this thread is uber long.

I wanted to add something though; Sometimes I meet a girl who first strikes me as hot. Then as I get to know her, and find out her personality sucks ass, her hotness goes down. I mean directly. For some reason she will look less physically attractive, even though she looks the same as the first time I met her.

Same thing vice versa. There is a girl I know right now, at first I didn't think she was hot at all, but the more I talk to her the more physically attractive she seems.

So perhaps physical attraction is not ALL about looks.

Anyone else have experiences like this?
 

Brad23

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‘He’s a millionaire, that doesn’t count.’



Why the fcuk not? People don’t become millionaires because of indecisiveness and lack of ambition or drive, do they? I do not criticise women for being superficial in certain aspects, because there are a lot of guys around who are all mouth and no trousers, and wealth or fame PROVES that you have gotten off your as.s and done something with your own life.



‘Females need interaction and communication, and ultimately, a display of good personality traits, to be turned on.’



Wrong. A lot of women have ONS with guys they barely know, just because they deem them good looking enough to have sex with. A lot of older women DO hire male gigolos many years their junior (typically women who are so harsh about looks that they will never like themselves for it, and hence never have a truly meaningful or satisfying relationship in their life). It is extremely naïve to believe otherwise. Other than this, I totally agree that certain Mancunian rock stars, Croatian sportsmen and second generation Hollywood acting dynasties have consistently demonstrated good personality traits over time, and as such have been rewarded with sex by conscientious females who know a good heart when they find one.



‘As far as attraction is concerned, we don't give a damn about a girls personality.’



Speak for yourself.



‘A perfect example of this is guys who go to strip clubs or hire hookers.’




I have never frequented a strip club, or hired a hooker, and have absolutely no intention of doing so in the future.



‘A guy's looks are more important than we think, but not AS important as we think.’



Correction: a guy’s looks are very often a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ decision, but what represents one woman’s ‘yes’ or ‘no’ will not always be the same as another woman’s ‘yes’ or ‘no.’



‘That David D’Angelo excerpt hit the nail on the head.’



Because it told you what you wanted to hear. Here’s a more accurate statement: the groups of men and women who are attracted to each other stays pretty much constant right from the beginning of your life to the day you die. Nothing really changes, it is largely decided before you even leave the womb. However, due to the phenomenon I like to refer to as the ‘slu.t denial process,’ certain women who pretended to not find you attractive previously, may respond to a greater level of social proof (in other words, Leonardo Di Caprio could pull HBs BEFORE he was rich and famous, whereas NOW he does better with those specific HBs who previously would have ‘secretly’ found him attractive but wouldn’t have acted on it because the social proof wasn’t in place at the time. Now it is, they not only openly admit their attraction to him, but also act on this attraction, when previously they wouldn’t have done so. Ultimately, however, nothing has really changed. The mutual attraction was there all along; add the extra social proof to Leo‘s image, and the ‘perceived’ power balance has now been altered and this changes the overall picture drastically.)




‘Consider the reality that men can have anonymous sex with someone they don't even know.’




I know many guys who would feel like s.hit after doing such a thing. Due to the power imbalance, they would literally feel like rapists. Many guys I know who have done this once or twice, have made a conscious decision to never do it again because it just didn‘t feel right. However, there are MANY women out there who have ONS on a regular basis and have no conscience about doing so. They enjoy it and do not feel a trace of guilt afterwards; they go out the next week and do exactly the same thing all over again.




‘Anyone who thinks that your looks ALONE and EXCLUSIVELY is the reason why you can't get girls is looking for reasons to VALIDATE YOUR OWN FAILURE.’




If you look like Mini-Me, you aren’t really getting any girls who aren’t just in it for the laughs. C’mon, there are certain realities. BUT many of the guys on this forum probably are in something of a ‘grey area’ where women would have vastly differing opinions on whether it is a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ - and these would be genuine opinions. A ‘6’ might consider a guy to be ugly, whereas a HB might consider the same guy to be genuinely attractive. But if you are literally a freak, it’s better to be realistic!



‘…men and woman have different NEEDS.’




Men have different needs to other men. Women have different needs to other women.




‘…Men get sexually aroused and ‘turned on‘ instantly at the sight of a young, shapely female body. As a man, you know that this process happens instantly and "all by itself", meaning you don't really have a choice in the matter.’



Really? Are you sure you’ve chosen the right words here?

I sincerely hope you’re not still repeatedly cracking them off into the underwear section of your Littlewoods catalogue! Unless a woman is absolutely super hot, I do NOT get instantly ‘turned on’ just by looking at her - and please do not accuse me of being dishonest here, because I‘m not! You recognise her as having superior reproductive potential. This does not mean that you like her yet, neither does it mean that you see her as having more value per se. AFCS may well do, because they so badly want her to be ‘the one’that they will project qualities onto her that she may well not possess. Yes, often when I see a girl like this, the instant temptation is to get nervous. However, I would have had this same reaction when I was 7 years old and yet to learn anything about sex, so in fact, I would argue that this is more of an abstract power issue than the straightforward sexual one than yourself and MysteryWoman would have it as being (male organs do not respond to the same stimuli and environment as women’s, who are truly animalistic by comparison).

Personally, I am not willing to change who I am, in order to get sex with someone who I don’t even like, just because she looks good. My brain obviously has a more long-term survival mechanism built into it which says ‘Move on - fifteen years from now, she will have lost her looks AS WELL as still having a s.hite personality.’

Nevertheless, aggressive, dominant body language in a nearby good looking man WILL usually get a pu.ssy wet. Even if the guy later transpires to be a rapist or a serial baby murderer. Women don’t like to admit the extent of this natural reaction to as.shole-ish behaviour, because it is akin to admitting that one is a s.lut by nature.




‘…MYSTERY WOMAN, I respect you and I think it's great that you are on this board. I think your original post was correct. The problem is that the males here have incorrectly interpreted what you've written and applied it to a male way of thinking, when you are merely offering a refreshingly objective female way of thinking.’




Mmm. I bet that ass tastes REAL good. Fancy kissing and licking it some more?

Get real, MysteryWoman has done nothing here to offer us any further insight into the thoughts of women.

Hers is not an ‘objective’ way of thinking - women NEVER think objectively, as it’s alien to their nature. Rather, she is a young Asian woman in London (am I right here?), which is probably full of closet racist ass.sholes, and she has been hurt by this, as well as being brought down by the company she is keeping.

She has adopted the tactics of the lowest common denominator in the area where she lives, which is typical of most people - they adapt to their environment, instead of deciding they just don’t like it and creating another one where they might thrive and be happier.

I do not hate MysteryWoman at all, as I would not like to live in London myself. I find the general attitude of young people there is depressing and I have no wish to ‘fit in’ with as.sholes like that - that’s why I keep away from London, avoiding that environment altogether.



‘…I'm a very good looking guy, but I grew up thinking I was ugly. As I grew older, FEMALES would always tell me how attractive I was.’



Same here. There are many of these ‘ugly ducklings’ about, many of them HBs who know what it’s like NOT to be at the erotic centre, as well as what it’s like when they are there. People like this generally tend to have a lot to them, and go for other people who have a lot to them, rather than those who just talk about looks all the time.

Also, men who are ‘ugly ducklings’ often carry ‘signs’ of their former lives, such as poor or ‘gay’ posture and body language for example. This might be why this kind of guy can attract HBs but not average women, who don’t understand the inequality between status and level of self-confidence that the ‘ugly duckling’ demonstrates in his behaviour. Basically, good looking recovering AFCs can score HBs big time, and do this every day - and the HB will be genuinely attracted to the guy.
 

cestmoi

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Originally posted by Ofus
Whoa, this thread is uber long.

I wanted to add something though; Sometimes I meet a girl who first strikes me as hot. Then as I get to know her, and find out her personality sucks ass, her hotness goes down. I mean directly. For some reason she will look less physically attractive, even though she looks the same as the first time I met her.

Same thing vice versa. There is a girl I know right now, at first I didn't think she was hot at all, but the more I talk to her the more physically attractive she seems.

So perhaps physical attraction is not ALL about looks.

Anyone else have experiences like this?
That's quite normal and something we've been trying to relate to in this thread. It's known in psychology that a person finds more attractive a person he likes (as a personality). And that's not just based on first impressions. Just like in your case it can change over time. As you get to know her better and she starts showing better (more compatible) personality suddenly almost like magic you will find her prettier. But if she starts displaying her bit-chy sides she will suddenly seem uglier to you.
 

MysteryWoman

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I said I would conclude on my last post, but why not go for my 400th post. I don't care about guys going for looks, I just wrote an article to point out for a woman to be really passionately love a guy, she must like his appearance to some extent. Although beauty is eye of the beholder and I have seen very good looking guys sometimes date average looking women, although never with a really ugly woman.

As for Darwin and Freud theories are good, but they never believe that women could be interested in sex (women didn't admit it in those days). However I think Freud's theory gives the best explaination on the type of person someone falls in love with.
 

Brad23

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Earlier this year, a 5 at the bus-stop near my house called me ‘gay boy’ as I walked past.

That same night, I was curled up in bed with the prettiest, most popular HB at the university I was attending at the time. The most beautiful woman I have ever met, inside and out. And believe me, you KNOW when you are genuinely turning a woman on with your touch.

MysteryWoman: men measures themselves by different standards. I know a lot of s.luts who assume that just because they can pull a good looking as.shole (who didn‘t really give a s.hit about her anyway), then this must mean that any guy who is less good looking than him must want her as well. This is VERY often not true. A lot of the girls who consider me ugly, I had already ruled out because I didn’t like the vibe they gave off. Then they act as if they’d be doing you a favour, when you can pull women who are nicer and better looking than them anyway! Haha!

So the real bottom line is: it IS very often a clear case of ‘yes’ or ‘no’, but what constitutes a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ really does vary from woman to woman.

Your taste in men, MysteryWoman, is NOT the same as other women’s taste in men. Sure, absolute genetic rejects are limited in what they can do for themselves sexually. Otherwise, you HAVE to accept and internalise this basic truth, I know it’s beyond your intrinsically selfish nature to do this, but it’s a fact.
 

MR_PERFECT

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You guys are really in denial. Mystery Woman is right, looks do matter. I dated a woman once who told me she would only date "fine" guys, nothing less. Women like MysteryWoman who work out, would not date a fat guy unless he had money. I think it should be that way. The only exception I've seen here in LA is Latin. They like their guys big, doesn't matter if it's fat or not.

The HB a regular guy can get, he shouldn't want (for a relationship). There is some underlying reason why she is dating so far below her standards.

Another thing I want you guys to think about (touching on what MyesteryWoman said): have you ever been in bed with a woman and it takes a lot of foreplay to get her excited? This isn't because this is how women are, it's because she's not that into sex with you. Women get turned on by looks just like we do. Every woman I've had sex with was ready to go in less than a minute. It changed when we got bored with each other.

Example: I worked graveyard years ago. I went to days and saw a woman I was instantly attracted to. She didn't even know I was in the room. I go back to Graveyard for 6 months. During that time I'm working out. I gained about 30lbs. When I saw her again, what she wanted to do to me was written all over her face. She was even telling other people how good she thought I looked. And it wasn't just her, I was getting all kinds of attention just because of how I looked physically.
 
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