Looks are more important than you think! Merged [Official thread]

[God_of_getting_layed]

yeah I read it.

The comments by the female commentors in that blog are definitely consistent with the idea that looks are in fact important to women. Even some of the comments by some male posters were consistent too (ie the one guy that said he's heard women talk about doing dirty things to buff guys, I too have observed this and is actually one peice of evidence used for my arguement. see guys, you just cant make this stuff up!!)

As for the name of this post, looks VS personality. They both matter. But many fools on this forum beleive looks dont, as if it is a negligable variable. this is incorrect.

If you want to be very successful with hot gorgeous women, you have to look good to them YOU HAVE TO!

on the otherhand, you can settle for less, and you wont need to worry about how you look.

 

[danielzxc]

From the comments:

i dont need a buff guy, i like mine with some meat on them then again, maybe it's cause i have some meat on me two and i prefer that the couple looks proportionate. i'm weird like that

Er, no, this is actually quite common (and realistic). What is uncommon is people being open about it. Also, this commenter says "couple looks proportionate", which we can translate as meaning she doesn't want someone TOO good looking for her, because he'd have too much "power" (she's afraid she couldn't keep a guy like that).

Most of my girlfriends do not like guys who are out of shape. However, a select few demand that their bf's have the six pack, toned chest, etc. As for me, as long as I'm not dating a rhinoceros I'm ok. I'm more of a face person.

That sounds like a female commenting. And she's ONLY talking about looks (face vs body). No mention of confidence anywhere in sight. Maybe she missed the memo?

A while back I went on a few dates with a guy who was super-fit and very muscular. And while I have to admit that he looked good, I didn't like it much. He was always working out, choosing to be at the gym over spending time with me.

That is such BS. Who the fkk ALWAYS works out? Even if the guy is some gymrat nutcase, he's still not gonna be working out more than 2hrs a day.

But even if he was, so what? ANYONE with a passion for ANTYHING is gonna spend quite a bit of time doing that thing. Most of them probably devote MORE time than the gym fanatic to their passions.

Maybe this is just what chicks who get dumped by buff, ripped, athletic guys have to tell themselves to feel better.

The fact of the matter is, most people (both men and women) have to work hard and spend a lot of time working out/watching what they eat to LOOK very fit.

Actually, no. Very fit people have a pretty EASY time deciding what to eat. That's because they tend to know their foods pretty well and tend to plan their meals in advance. "Foodies" (restaurant buffs) are the ones who take forever to decide what to eat (and where to go) and are always talking about food.

 

[ricorico]

About 70% of the girls on that link missed the Memo from Deus that looks don't matter to chicks. In fact, some girls even said girls who say "looks don't matter are liars". But I guess Deus is our resident mindreader. He knows what every girl is thinking when she is looking at him and can read the minds of the ones he does'nt know. Great accomplishment!

 

[ricorico]

You don't need a six pack or 22" arms to sleeep with girls. In fact many girls don't like guys who are too buff or fit.Even in that link it was stated! They would preffer lean and nice-looking. A girl has to be attracted to a guy. As many of us know different people have different taste in what is attractive to them.

Hence even as a guys with looks high on the priority list can disagree on who they find attractive. A girl many think is a 10, I may not see higher than a 7 and vice-versa. Some guys think girls with big-breast are hot. I know a few who find it a turn-off. Some guys think girls with big-butts are hot. I know others who like Asian girls because they have small butts.

All of these people have 1 thing in common. They have a certain preference and as long as they find their GF's attractive that is all that matters.

Most people (men and women) want to find their significant other sexually attractive. they have to kiss them and sleep with them.

A lot of guys who complain their wives and GF's don't like sex are usually wrong.The women love sex as much as we do. But usually in that case the GF does not enjoy sex and has little physical attraction to their partner. The advantage women have over guys is they have the ability to have sex without enjoying it. Hence a lot more women are willing to get together with guys for material reasons because they can fake it!

I saw 1 honest women on a talk show who was willing to admit this. The husband and therapist were trying to get to the reasons why she was fridgid. She finally opened up and said she found her husband's body unattractive. You should have seen the guy's face. then the therapist actually sat there and tried to tell her that was NOT the reason. As though she could not possibly know what was making her fridgid!

 

[Ll Principe]

Lets get one thing straight, the looks vs personality thread or topic will NEVER die, NEVER. Do you hear that? NEVER. It will NEVER die down.

Why?
1. Everyday someone new will enter the forums and ask this question.
2. This is spoken about constantly in world conversations between you and your friends, between you and your dog, you name it- IT GETS SPOKEN ABOUT.

Why do people constantly SHUT it down? The only reason I can think of is if a person has continued to pursue this type of question , but than he is just a moron and troll. But, to the AFC out there asking the question, let them ask? How else are they ment to learn if everyone wants to close the thread or conversation?

Yes, it gets frustrating for the PUA/DJ to see a thread like this everyday, but I guess thats part of life, hey, maybe by answering the question everyday you may learn an adjusted theory on it? One can never stop learning.

Im not preaching "for" the thread all Im saying is the people that DONT know the answer to the question should I have a fair chance to explain their thoughts HOWEVER I do say to these newbies or people will the thread starters to please read the DJ BIBLE aswell as the "Quick Tips" and "Articles" section on the homepage where Im sure you will find numerous articles about "LOOKS and PERSONALITY" and which one matters etc...

 

[danielzxc]

22" arms are beyond massive. That's pro bbuilder level, and even most of them don't reach that size. When you're talking that big, you're talking turn-off for many women. Sheesh, talk about straw men.

But anyway, yeah. Women can appreciate a fit body without REQUIRING it for sex, which the vast majority don't.

The vast majority don't require it because the vast majority can't get it -- men with lean and muscular bodies are only few.

I bet you the higher you move up the female hotness scale the more of them will require it, or require some pretty hefty compensation in other areas to make up for the lack of it. (Read an interview with a model from a local gameshow saying her taste in men was "foreign men with fantastic physiques". Sounds like a "requirement" to me.)

But let's get this straight Deus, not even body matters all that much now? Kinda like looks huh? Doesn't really do much of anything for improving a guy's odds of gettting laid, right?

 

[danielzxc]

Wow, who told you that women know exactly what they want, man?

YOU, that's who!

You're the one constantly talking about "polls" that supposedly show confidence is the main thing women want.

Maybe those women didn't know what they were talking about either, then?

 

[danielzxc]

I use those polls only as a form of proof to destroy the looks-matter cult.

Well, could you possibly be more evasive?

The point was that polls are demonstrative of what women SAY. Yet a couple of posts ago you were saying we should ignore what chicks on the xanga thread were saying because women "don't know what they want". Well, so why should believe women they say confidence is what they want?

I could just as easily say that women wanting looks is apparent in everything she "says, does, and carries herself". Of course, my saying it is hardly good enough, and neither is yours. So this point is neither here nor there.

It remains for you to answer why your polls mean more than what the xanga chicks said. (Or just frankly admit that you contradicted yourself and save us both the time. )

 

[FutureSpartan]

If you cold approached and properly macked 100 women with an average body you may end up sleeping with 20.

If you cold approached and properly macked the same 100 women with a lean muscular physique you may end up sleeping with around 50.

So yes, they do matter with regards to your odds. Approach and game will get you laid regardless and if only everyone here believed that, they would be getting laid more often

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

If you cold approached and properly macked 100 women with an average body you may end up sleeping with 20.

If you cold approached and properly macked the same 100 women with a lean muscular physique you may end up sleeping with around 50.

So yes, they do matter with regards to your odds. Approach and game will get you laid regardless and if only everyone here believed that, they would be getting laid more often

i support looks do matter to get you in the door.

BUT!

lets say that you're "scenario" was like this

If you cold approached and properly macked 100 women with an average body you may end up sleeping with 20.

If you cold approached and properly macked the same 100 women with a lean muscular physique you may end up sleeping with around 50.

NOW

If you cold approached and properly macked 100 women with a lean muscular physique with a uncharming desperate personality you may end up sleeping with 20.

If you cold approached and properly macked the same 100 women with an average body with a charming alpha personality you may end up sleeping with around 50.

oh and first off, the word physique doesn't buy anyone... why do you use the word body as a turnoff-er and physique as a turnon-er?

you can't say such a thing as you replied with... theres simply no fact in it unless you show some statistics. anyone could make some random number up and say its real. well..... like the %72.323232 of the people on the forum do.

see i can do it too. sounds convincing, huh?

 

[Infraction]

Well, i look pretty well after i lost 20 KG from my weight.
My weight has only slightly changed in the past year and my first 4 tries with women lead to 4 LJBF and "no" to a date request.
After these 4 failures i had 5 succses and i have a GF now.

 

[PigAdlemPimp]

If it wasn't important for dudes to be good looking they wouldn't go on a TV show like Extreme Makeover and endure the agony associated with having their faces cut and remoulded by a plastic surgeons knife.
It is better to be and look physically strong than like the weakest wimp, both personality and confidence are important as well.

 

[FutureSpartan]

i support looks do matter to get you in the door.

BUT!

lets say that you're "scenario" was like this



oh and first off, the word physique doesn't buy anyone... why do you use the word body as a turnoff-er and physique as a turnon-er?

you can't say such a thing as you replied with... theres simply no fact in it unless you show some statistics. anyone could make some random number up and say its real. well..... like the %72.323232 of the people on the forum do.

see i can do it too. sounds convincing, huh?

You're overanalyzing...sure maybe my figures were random, but the idea is while I agree that looks matter, they only matter in regards to your odds in scoring.
I used that example as a controlled scenario, assuming both approached 100 women and did so with the same DJ personality. I don't know exactly how many, but I do know that, generally speaking, the more physically attractive a male, the better his chances of scoring across a wide variety of women


My emphasis however, was that the average DJ IS STILL GETTING LAID, his odds are less, but nonetheless, he is not making excuses to go out and approach the women he wants. Sure, he may get rejected more than the hunk DJ, but there are still enough women out there that find him attractive enough to f**k.

Im not disagreeing that LOOKS matter. They do...but if you're average to decent looking, confident, and aggressive in the game YOU WILL GET LAID.

The problem is that guys here take to the extreme that if you're not considered "a good-looking guy" then forget it, dont even try approaching you unattractive bastard. lol

 

[God_of_getting_layed]

The reason that I can say that the polls are consistent with female behavior, is because the evidence dictates as such. See the difference?

...

I haven't said it because the answer is obvious. My polls sampled thousands of American women from all walks of life. This "xanga" site sampled what, 20 women that have access to the internet, that visited this xanga site, that felt the need to comment on the male physique? Hardly scientific.

um, yeah, so what about the polls where men were polled asking what the number 1 quality in a woman was? Those polls too concluded personality/confidence was the sexiest quality a woman can have, YET WE KNOW MEN ACTUALLY PUT LOOKS AS NUMBER 1.

seems to me like the men being polled were being deceitful (probably to not appear shallow), so Deus, HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS ISNT THE CASE FOR YOUR POLLS AS WELL?

The explanation that the women were being deceitful in their answers makes more sense than the explanation that they were being honest, since we already know the shallow men lie in those polls and when you look at the kinds of guys the hot babes are dating and other many many common observations, theres no way anyone could even buy the idea that women ARE NOT SHALLOW and that they were giving honest answers, ie confidence being the number 1 quality. despite your weak poll, we know hot women require good looking men (in their eyes) to sleep with them.

POST YOU POLL DEUS!!!! I WANT TO SEE YOUR SOURCE.

 

[ricorico]

Deus does'nt want to admit looks and personality matter because he would have to admit to himself he's not as good-looking as he imagines in his dellusional head. Girls are not falling all over and doing double takes as he walks by.

I also showed picture after picture of rich ,handsome,famous actors married to average girls. Does that say guys don't care about looks? Deus says those cases are rare. Deus, show me 1 hollywood actor who is famous with a girl much hotter than him, and I'll show you 10 with the opposite.Not as rare as you think. Hell, I still can't figure out what Will Smith sees in a 5" midget with a manly Bi*** face like Jada.

Girls are shallow as guys. It's the good-looking guys in HS who are popular that get the attention. After that, they raelize they need big bucks to live and buy all the designer stuff they like. So they MIGHT forgo looks , but ut's usually for a guy with the bucks who can give them the lifestyle they crave and have other girls envy them. Girls love to be envied for their boyfriends.

Still that does'nt mean she's not into looks. She will want to have her cake and eat it too. She picks Mr. Nice guy who can support her financially and has a guy on the side who turns her on for sex.

 

[mrRuckus]

That sounds like a female commenting. And she's ONLY talking about looks (face vs body). No mention of confidence anywhere in sight. Maybe she missed the memo?

And since when do we pay attention to what women SAY instead of what they DO?

Please smack me for using emphasis caps. Oh crap you did it too and i didn't even notice until now and i couldn't do the easy thing of hitting backspace.

That is such BS. Who the fkk ALWAYS works out? Even if the guy is some gymrat nutcase, he's still not gonna be working out more than 2hrs a day.

But even if he was, so what? ANYONE with a passion for ANTYHING is gonna spend quite a bit of time doing that thing. Most of them probably devote MORE time than the gym fanatic to their passions.

Yeah my ex complained about this. Oh sure she'd be like ohhhhh put your shoulders like that and talk about how big i was getting but then b1tch i spend that whole 60 min in the gym after work and then had to eat a few times during the night. She must have thought muscles grow on trees.

She'd say that i stretched myself too thin between lifting, softball, and having a relationship. Girls are just too damn needy. I gave her almost every night of the week (past 8 or 9) and most of the weekends and that wasn't enough?! What fvcking guys are giving their gfs 100% of the time that when i have OTHER SH1T TO DO that i'm completely abnormal and she's sent spinning because she's used to a guy who does nothing? And oh, oh, what did she want to do when i gave her more time? Sit and watch tv.

Actually, no. Very fit people have a pretty EASY time deciding what to eat. That's because they tend to know their foods pretty well and tend to plan their meals in advance.

If i'm going out to eat i pretty much know it's a cheat meal. I'll try to make it better: maybe skip the bun on my burger and ask for brocolli instead of fries (and leave still hungry), but really menus are pretty damn poor when it comes to healthy choices. Healthy as in good for lifters.. not some fat 45 year old lady meal.

If i go for a salad i end up with no fats or carbs worth mentioning and little protein (even if it's something like a chicken salad)... or i have to get a greasy as hell hamburger. Or pony up and get the $20 steak, which i never do because if i wanted steak i'd be out buying 4 lbs of it to grill at home for 6 meals.

 

[mrRuckus]

Girls are shallow as guys.

Fvck that. It's not shallow to want an attractive mate. It's goddamn nature.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

A nice personality/interesting personality and connection with people makes someone more attractive..

No one wants to date a manaquin.(sp?)..

But when it comes to dating 80 percent of it is looks and raw sexuality...

 

[ricorico]

Deus,
For short trem relationships(meaning sex) women are more likely to choose good-looks. Scientific fact. For marriage not-so good looks because they feel he will be less likely to cheat,since he won't have as many oppurtunities as the good-looking guy.

http://reference.aol.com/article/_a/how-women-pick-mates-vs-flings/20070103111809990001

If you think Julia Roberts is good-looking you need your eyes examined. that girl is horse faced ugly. Her and Lyle are not that far in looks in my opinion. Plus she walks like she just got off a horse. Who here thinks Julia Roberts is hot? oh yeah, Deus does. Deus, I bet you find the other horseface man jaw Jennifer Maniston attractive too.

 

[Serialized3]

I'm confused on your position Deux.

In this thread and a lot of others, you say looks don't matter. But on this thread, you say

First of all, I have plenty of people on my side. They're just too worn out to keep arguing with people who enjoy spreading self-limiting beliefs around SoSuave. And looks matter just like anything else, not "0%". I just don't get why it keeps getting singled out as some magical quality to get women. I mean, you guys are obsessed. Even though looks threads are banned, you looks-matter guys STILL can't abstain from posting threads polluting your views on this site.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=1148946&postcount=132

That viewpoint you stated there is much more reasonable than saying looks don't matter at all.

How much (give me a percentage, whatever) do you think looks actually play a role in attraction?