Looking/Oogling Approach laws.

[Luke Skywalker]

Oh daddy you just fvcked it all up. The first few posts were great. Trolling a troll. Fvckin brilliant. Then you had to get all serious.

If you have nothing to contribute to this thread, then you are a troll. This is a serious thread - and the laws are continuing to evolve to more approach strategies.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

As men, we are suppose to look at a woman lustfully...nothing wrong with it...as long as u don't stare at her for 20 minutes straight...women want us to look at them lustfully...thats the point of them exposing their chest, wearing tight jeans, etc...to get us to look...any other reason is BS.

So Luke, do urself a favor and look lustfully at a woman to ur true heart's content, just make sure u approach the girl tho.

That's what this thread is about - make sure to approach the girl, or group of ladies that I'm lusting over and say something, even if I make a fool out of myself.

 

[Kev07]

you're thinking too much, just go with it, forget your rules

 

[Luke Skywalker]

you're thinking too much, just go with it, forget your rules

Lots of time has passed without rules. I wouldn't call it rules, I'd call it the economy of approaching. The price for looking at a girl is to approach her. It's a transaction between looking and approaching. If you look without approaching, then that's cheating. The rules create a value or commodity out of looking and create a price tag of approaching. Failing to approach is failing to pay for the visual pleasure.

Furthermore, having a system like this also counteracts another type of rule embedded in the psyche. The law of intertia is a default hidden rule. That means, people are creatures of habit and tend to follow the path of least resistance. Without any real positive reinforcement, and a high risk of rejection or negative reinforcement -that means inertia will just favour the same type of behaviour over and over again, which is to stare, oogle, and DO NOTHING. It's a rule that is programmed deep into the mind and that's obeyed.

The idea of these rules is to create rules in the concious mind to override the default rule of Intertia by creating a ficitious economic system of supply and demand (thus oogling and approaching - approaching is the price tag of oogling, etc..) ergo I cant make it 'natural' for me to just confidently approach a girl - since it's unnatural or out of character - so saying 'just go with it' or 'just do it' does't really work, because it's not natural for me to do.

So, by fighting rules with rules, hopefully this will go somewhere. I certainly hope to write some field reports about it.

 

[PersonalJesus]

Sweet, free porn.

thats all i got out of this thread.

*click*

 

[Tha Realnezz]

If she's not even adknowledging your existance then don't bother...what for?

What for signs then strike..

 

[Luke Skywalker]

If she's not even adknowledging your existance then don't bother...what for?

What for signs then strike..

What are you talking about - approaching a group of ladies in public. Anyway, rules are rules, the only way out of not approaching will eventually be to look less than 3 seconds. After enough rejections soon I'll lose interest in even looking, which is also a goal too.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I was looking up a girls a$$ when she was bending down and lifting up weights for over 3 seconds. She was wearing a tight blue pants and I could see the outlines of her body right through it. More than 3 seconds past.

I approached her. She was on some weight machine.
FR:

me: Hey, excuse me,
she took off her head-phones to listen to me.
me: How long do you have left to use this machine?
her: I just have one repition left.
me: That's fine, I'm going to do some other weights in the mean-time.
and I left.

Later on, I saw she left the machines and went and used them myself for one repitition so my intentions for approaching her would be shielded behind that excuse. Yeah, she actually scoped me to see if I was really going to use the machine or if I just tried to approach her.

As based on the approach laws - I did the 'minimal approach strategy', which is to make an innocious type of approach where the target would not expect you are approaching and it would not appear that I'm hitting on her.

As time goes on, and I'm comfortable with these low-level approaches, I'm going to modify it where, instead of going, I'm going to follow up the opener with a few questions about the lady. I'm giving myself three more times for this basic approach to get more comfortable before demanding more of myself.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Approach journal:

In line, hb is infront of me. She had this delicious a$$, I couldn't stop staring at it and exceeded the 3 second rule.

me: Excuse me, do you have the time?
hb: Yeah, it's 10:30 am.
me: Ok, thank-you.

Well, did the minimal approach thing, and I even acted and pretended that I was preoccupied with something of a time-sensitive nature to mask the idea that I am trying to hit on her or approach her. At least I'm approaching.

I spoke with a bunch of girls in the elevator.

They were talking about how someone is 95 y/o.
I said "Wow, that's old,"
They commented on what I said, continued talking to themselves and sort of ignored me afterwards. But nothing to feel bad about.

Other times today I saw hb's for over 3 seconds, but was protected by the 30 second override - since I had something to do (i.e go into court, go and get out of the parking lot, etc...) so I didn't run behind every hb in the street.

A hb tripped on the sidewalk while walking across from me, and I tried to smile and laugh with her little embarassed mistake, but just retreated back in my shell asap.

*************

Psychological: It took me 30 seconds to struggle in line to contemplate asking the hb for the time fearing that I would be insincere. The reason I did it was to avoid penalty of my own laws for failing to approach using the 'minimal approach strategy'. So, whatever I have here is working.

I'm always afraid women will see 'me' inside, and realise how vulnerable and naked I am inside and tend to want to hide behind excuses and things to hide my true intentions, even if I want to fvck them, etc...

*************

 

[muscleman]

I'm always afraid women will see 'me' inside, and realise how vulnerable and naked I am inside and tend to want to hide behind excuses and things to hide my true intentions, even if I want to fvck them, etc...

This is the first bit of honesty to come out of your mouth. This is the wrong self image you need to work on changing. Keep on truckin. But for the love of God truck faster.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

You can't approach right away man,you'll come off desperate and perv-like.

I say let her notice you and categorize you and then if her bodylanguage says come and get it then go after her.

I look if she's clearly dressed like she wants people to look at her or she's hot to death then,that's tough sh1t of course i'll look but i won't stare.

Look,wait for signals,if nothing then move on..

i say six seconds..

 

[mikeyb]

to luke skywalker:

I appreciate what you're trying to do here, but you need to relax and have some fun. Here's a thought: try to get a few female friends. It'll boost your confidence around other women, even if it's just one or two.

Here's a second thought: scrap the rules. Clearly you're having trouble following them and they're messing with you. If you wanna follow some sort of system, try coming up with one or two openers for each situation you might face in everyday life and sticking to those openers systematically until you become better at improvising. For example, you seem to run into a lot of women at your gym. Come up with a couple things you might say to a woman at your gym that you want to meet. And yes, try to come up with something that might lead to more conversation, NOT like asking what time it is. A good starting point is looking at journals other guys on this site have left. I know they've helped me a lot.

One more thing, evolution doesn't favor the males in a species who are afraid to think of females in a sexual way, and I'd hate to think six and a half billion years' worth of nature's fine work was wasted on you. I don't mean this in a derrogatory way, so don't even try to light me up. I'm saying that if you stopped focusing on blocking out your natural instincts, you might get a better response from women in general.

Fun fact. If you like numbers, then you should like this: There are billions of women in the world. You can get turned down by all of them but one and still end up with a great girl. And to get rejected by just one million women at the rate of one per hour would take over 100 years. Bear that in mind next time you're scared of approaching an HB9.

Now get back out there, crack a few jokes, and have a good time !

 

[Luke Skywalker]

You can't approach right away man,you'll come off desperate and perv-like.

But what about the 3 second rule? (This is not my own rule by the way - it's a general player's board rule that says, if you dont approach a girl within 3 seconds of meeting her, your chances of doing the approach take a nose-dive)

I say let her notice you and categorize you and then if her bodylanguage says come and get it then go after her.

The mind is always desperately looking for an excuse to cancel an approach. There is allot of nerves and anxiety about these approaches to strangers that any excuse to forfeit an opportunity is diligently looked for, even if they are not there. Thus, any delay of time serves to look for an excuse to stop.

Furthermore, there are situations where this may be difficult. If a girl is walking on a street - you only have a split second to react or she's gone forever. Or if a girl is on a line and you are behind her, etc... so you get the point.

I also believe that there is some sort of invisible force-field around me where I tend to notice girls giving more friendly signals to me once I've broken some barrier and started doing some approaches compared to if I do nothing, so I believe in the rapid approach thing.

However - I also have a provision to wait up to 30 seconds with any situational ambiguity - such as if there is a bf, or something that doesn't seem right about the girl or the picture, then I could abort the approach.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

to luke skywalker:

I appreciate what you're trying to do here, but you need to relax and have some fun. Here's a thought: try to get a few female friends. It'll boost your confidence around other women, even if it's just one or two.

I already have some female friends/gf in my life. It may make me less hungrier, but it doesn't dramatically boost confidence in approaching a total stranger. The issues, as I've stated, seem to lie in the fact that I have issues expressing the natural sexual side - or the side that just wants to connect with someone.

Here's a second thought: scrap the rules. Clearly you're having trouble following them and they're messing with you. If you wanna follow some sort of system, try coming up with one or two openers for each situation you might face in everyday life and sticking to those openers systematically until you become better at improvising.

I'm always looking for good openers.

For example, you seem to run into a lot of women at your gym. Come up with a couple things you might say to a woman at your gym that you want to meet. And yes, try to come up with something that might lead to more conversation, NOT like asking what time it is. A good starting point is looking at journals other guys on this site have left. I know they've helped me a lot.

Back to the drawing board - look at a few other approach journals/field reports - sure I think I'll do that.

One more thing, evolution doesn't favor the males in a species who are afraid to think of females in a sexual way, and I'd hate to think six and a half billion years' worth of nature's fine work was wasted on you. I don't mean this in a derrogatory way, so don't even try to light me up. I'm saying that if you stopped focusing on blocking out your natural instincts, you might get a better response from women in general.

I dont know. Following natural instincts sounds like risking legal problems. For example, groping strangers in public for example could be construed as following natural instincts - where do you draw the line?

 

[tmpgstx]

Luke, you are thinking too much about so-called rules. Things should flow naturally, almost effortlessly.

You are only defeating yourself and creating sabbotage with rules. Develope your own flirting style, a way of letting a girl know you like her sexually, but are not just out for sex.

Girls want to feel feminine .. by using rules you are de-masculinizing yourself. A true confident guy does not need or think of rules.

Bruce Lee called thinking of techniques a disease of the mind. It enslaves you. You can study and learn, but let it flow naturally as second nature.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I'm suspending approaches temporarily to learn some openers and review some field reports on here - thus granting myself a general Amnesty from my own rules and laws for one week for purposes of finding some good openers to practise on and get comfortable useing.

I will be reviewing field reports, etc....

***************

LATER TODAY: A hot girl walked the street, I stared at her, she looked at me, and I looked away thinking it was under 3 seconds (didn't have the nerve to wave at her). I honked at a schoolgirl and she looked at me. Anyway - suspending any penalty on this based on the above amesty of my own rules.

I notice that girls are more friendlier or give me more positive signals after I do a few approaches, even if nothing comes out of them.

I remember this one time, I approach this nice Black girl that has a good a$$, and said 'hi' to her in a line-up. She ignored me cold. I went back but saw her make some moves with her a$$ beside her friends and I enjoyed the show - so nothing lost there.

********************

 

[tmpgstx]

Try this just for one week Luke. Don't jack it and when a thought of a girl pops into your mind, drop that thought for something else.

When you don't want women and yet are sexual, is when they flock to you. Let them come to you. Be the one who gets her coming around you wanting your approval.

I remember way back when i was a virgin .. was so dam horny, just went out and took it.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Luke, you are thinking too much about so-called rules. Things should flow naturally, almost effortlessly.

But things do nto flow naturally, or effortlessly - nothing happens. It's too premature to say whether or not such rules are working or not - but at least it's holding me accountable to an approach program or concept.

You are only defeating yourself and creating sabbotage with rules. Develope your own flirting style, a way of letting a girl know you like her sexually, but are not just out for sex.

But isn't that contradictory. I mean if you like a girl sexually, then that means that you are just out for sex - or why would you like her sexually?

Girls want to feel feminine .. by using rules you are de-masculinizing yourself. A true confident guy does not need or think of rules.

Well I never said I'm a 'true confident guy', right now I'm virtually asexual - and at least 'something' is being done on a daily basis, as opposed to nothing at all.

Bruce Lee called thinking of techniques a disease of the mind. It enslaves you. You can study and learn, but let it flow naturally as second nature.

Well, the thing is, there are no techniques on this thread. It's all about approaching girls and risking they wont bite if you approach them -- this is not even at a level of a 'technique', it's on a level called 'therapy'. In a sence this thread is more about trying to give myself some natural therapy as opposed to developing techniques. Therapy to deal with issues of approaching and expressing myself in a sexual way.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Try this just for one week Luke. Don't jack it and when a thought of a girl pops into your mind, drop that thought for something else.

No 'jacking it' has occured since April 13th, 2007 - since then I do not recall that I have 'jacked it', certainly not in the past week.

 

[tmpgstx]

You just have to take it. If you to are together alone and she is showing some interest, just ask her to your room, or kiss her without asking.

Before getting into relationships that turned me into an AFC, i did just that and was never turned down.

Every girl i asked to my room, or gave a back-rub to, or just kissed .. she was spread within a half-hour.

I'm finally rooting out my AFCdom again.