Get ready. Half of you won't believe it, but I swear it happened. I have NO reason to lie over the net, and it was a ****in' AWESOME time!!!! Begin . . .
So I went to a beefsteak tonight. The entrance fee was $50 and it included all the beefsteak and beer I can drink. The fun part? It was at the club that one of my best friends works at and so it was guys only, and there were gonna be a gang of strippers there. So I brought a hundred bucks (fifty bucks to tip the ladies for their various antics).
When we get there, the strippers show up about an hour later (six of them) after we had finished the beefsteaks and the tables were clean. Their manager gets on the microphone and says, "No slapping, no punching, no direct contact with their genitals [I assume to prevent STDs], tip them well, and if they say no, it means no."
So the strippers come out one by one and start their thing. They start off stripping a bit and masterbating in front of us. We were allowed to touch whatever we wanted as long as we tipped them and they were ok with it. I saw girls using vibrators, dildos, strapping a dildo to some guys head and him "head-fcuking" her, girls smoking cigarettes with their ****, girls masterbating each other, and abunch of other **** I can barely remember!
I figured this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, so I go up to a girl, tip her, and get a bit of a hand job (just enough to get me hard). I got a little bored with her and so went to another girl and whispered in her ear, "I want you to ride me." So she puts on a strapon on me, I lie down on the table, and she gets cheered on as she rides me in various positions for about ten minutes. I was holding the dildo erect and so her vagina was slapping against my hand for a while. Then she puts her ***** over my face and goes down (and deepthroats) the dildo while I rub my face in her **** (didn't want to REALLY eat her out since, well, she's probably fairly dirty - but I have to say, it smelled really good. Must have been scented lube she put on the dildo)
I finish that up, tip her about ten bucks and then find out that some other stripper is lactating (must've just had a kid - her belly looked like she might have, but she had lost enough weight to STILL look hot as hell!) So I gather a crowd, say "Watch this", and tell some other guy to squeeze her tit as I catch the spewing milk in my mouth (In the words of Tony the Tiger, it tasted, 'GRRRRRRRREEAT!').
Then they go to the bathroom and start blowing and screwing guys for money (yup. If you haven't figured it out, they were prostitutes, not strippers). So I'm slightly drunk (not TOO much, only had like five beers all night) have some money left over, so I walk in the bathroom and talk to the girl that rode me.
"How much for a handjob?"
"40 for this [motions a handjob], 60 for this [motions a *******], and a hundred for this [motions sex]"
Me - "Ah man. I got bills to pay. I don't know if I can swing forty for a handjob"
Her - "I'll tell you what. I can do it for thirty, but that's the LOWEST I can go."
Me - "You know what? That's fair. I'll be right back"
I go to the ATM and grab an extra 20 (I had ten in my wallet). She tells me to go to the last stall, I pull down my pants, she sits on the toilet and lubes up and starts going at it. She says, "Oh man. This is a nice ****. I really wish I could **** it. You must satisfy a LOT of women" I kept tellin her I was a virgin, but she never believed it.
Me - "Well how much more to do that? I'm likin' what you're doing right now and wouldn't mind a little extra."
Her - "I'll tell you what. It's been a long time since I've been laid [yeah right!] and I really like this big ****, so I'll do it for just twenty more."
Me - "What the hell? I came this far. I'll be right back" so I go to the ATM and get another twenty.
So we go to the stall, I sit down on the toilet, she attempts to put on a condom with her mouth, gives up and puts it on with her hands while lubing it up, and rides me for a few minutes making slutty noises while I fondle her ass and her breasts.
It felt really good. I can see why people like having sex! So after a few minutes I whisper in her ear, "Let's switch around . . ." so she leans over the toilet (still in the stall) and I proceed to start going at it doggy-style. She had a nice small tattoo on her lower back and it felt AWESOME! I get slick and start fondling her butthole and then say, "How much for the two-hole?" She says, "A lot more than twenty." I say, "Ah . .. never mind. I'm having plenty of fun as it is." However many minutes later, I'm done and feelin GRRRRRRREEEEEEEEAT!
So I thank her, she thanks me for makin' her feel good, we part ways and I have a big goofy smile on my face! WHAT A ****ING NIGHT!!!!
Feelin' good. Got TWO things off the list! (One being lose the virginity, the other being have sex with a prostitute . . . a fantasy of mine - 'You haven't played until you paid')
Oh man. I'm feelin' good. Finally done with that roadblock!
Alexi
[EDIT] PS - I'm sure that all that "big ****" and "keep women satisfied" talk was just business, but that's allright. I didn't really care cause I was busy gettin' some! FINALLY!
So I went to a beefsteak tonight. The entrance fee was $50 and it included all the beefsteak and beer I can drink. The fun part? It was at the club that one of my best friends works at and so it was guys only, and there were gonna be a gang of strippers there. So I brought a hundred bucks (fifty bucks to tip the ladies for their various antics).
When we get there, the strippers show up about an hour later (six of them) after we had finished the beefsteaks and the tables were clean. Their manager gets on the microphone and says, "No slapping, no punching, no direct contact with their genitals [I assume to prevent STDs], tip them well, and if they say no, it means no."
So the strippers come out one by one and start their thing. They start off stripping a bit and masterbating in front of us. We were allowed to touch whatever we wanted as long as we tipped them and they were ok with it. I saw girls using vibrators, dildos, strapping a dildo to some guys head and him "head-fcuking" her, girls smoking cigarettes with their ****, girls masterbating each other, and abunch of other **** I can barely remember!
I figured this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, so I go up to a girl, tip her, and get a bit of a hand job (just enough to get me hard). I got a little bored with her and so went to another girl and whispered in her ear, "I want you to ride me." So she puts on a strapon on me, I lie down on the table, and she gets cheered on as she rides me in various positions for about ten minutes. I was holding the dildo erect and so her vagina was slapping against my hand for a while. Then she puts her ***** over my face and goes down (and deepthroats) the dildo while I rub my face in her **** (didn't want to REALLY eat her out since, well, she's probably fairly dirty - but I have to say, it smelled really good. Must have been scented lube she put on the dildo)
I finish that up, tip her about ten bucks and then find out that some other stripper is lactating (must've just had a kid - her belly looked like she might have, but she had lost enough weight to STILL look hot as hell!) So I gather a crowd, say "Watch this", and tell some other guy to squeeze her tit as I catch the spewing milk in my mouth (In the words of Tony the Tiger, it tasted, 'GRRRRRRRREEAT!').
Then they go to the bathroom and start blowing and screwing guys for money (yup. If you haven't figured it out, they were prostitutes, not strippers). So I'm slightly drunk (not TOO much, only had like five beers all night) have some money left over, so I walk in the bathroom and talk to the girl that rode me.
"How much for a handjob?"
"40 for this [motions a handjob], 60 for this [motions a *******], and a hundred for this [motions sex]"
Me - "Ah man. I got bills to pay. I don't know if I can swing forty for a handjob"
Her - "I'll tell you what. I can do it for thirty, but that's the LOWEST I can go."
Me - "You know what? That's fair. I'll be right back"
I go to the ATM and grab an extra 20 (I had ten in my wallet). She tells me to go to the last stall, I pull down my pants, she sits on the toilet and lubes up and starts going at it. She says, "Oh man. This is a nice ****. I really wish I could **** it. You must satisfy a LOT of women" I kept tellin her I was a virgin, but she never believed it.
Me - "Well how much more to do that? I'm likin' what you're doing right now and wouldn't mind a little extra."
Her - "I'll tell you what. It's been a long time since I've been laid [yeah right!] and I really like this big ****, so I'll do it for just twenty more."
Me - "What the hell? I came this far. I'll be right back" so I go to the ATM and get another twenty.
So we go to the stall, I sit down on the toilet, she attempts to put on a condom with her mouth, gives up and puts it on with her hands while lubing it up, and rides me for a few minutes making slutty noises while I fondle her ass and her breasts.
It felt really good. I can see why people like having sex! So after a few minutes I whisper in her ear, "Let's switch around . . ." so she leans over the toilet (still in the stall) and I proceed to start going at it doggy-style. She had a nice small tattoo on her lower back and it felt AWESOME! I get slick and start fondling her butthole and then say, "How much for the two-hole?" She says, "A lot more than twenty." I say, "Ah . .. never mind. I'm having plenty of fun as it is." However many minutes later, I'm done and feelin GRRRRRRREEEEEEEEAT!
So I thank her, she thanks me for makin' her feel good, we part ways and I have a big goofy smile on my face! WHAT A ****ING NIGHT!!!!
Feelin' good. Got TWO things off the list! (One being lose the virginity, the other being have sex with a prostitute . . . a fantasy of mine - 'You haven't played until you paid')
Oh man. I'm feelin' good. Finally done with that roadblock!
Alexi
[EDIT] PS - I'm sure that all that "big ****" and "keep women satisfied" talk was just business, but that's allright. I didn't really care cause I was busy gettin' some! FINALLY!
)