Hey tactic buddy,
I was away on thanksgiving break in MD so I didn't get to respond to this in the past couple days.......
I read your long and somewhat scatterbrained message about love and I thought I could help a bit with it.....
You talked about not recieving love or attention from anybody.....first and foremost let me say again....YOU NEED TO FIND A CHURCH THAT FITS YOU!!!! Man my church is positive, freindly, excited, outgoing, even after being there everyone says hi to everyone, and I LOVE the positive atomosphere and ill stay there cause its an awesome and enthusiastic place to be.
Above this tactic, Giving and recieving love is like Smiling, you know you see the most stolid looking face on someone and you smile at them and what do they do THEY SMILE BACK.
This is because "Whatsoever a man shall soweth so shall he reap"
You plant corn and what pops up? WHEAT?....NO!!! Corn does. You sow a smile to someone what do you reap? A FROWN? NO!! .....You reap a smile back. This goes for EVERYTHING IN LIFE.
You want to be loved, you sow soo much love into other peoples hearts and you will reap love and be loved back.
You want to be happy, Sow happiness into other people and it'll make you happy doing it.
Theres a saying that applys to this that I really like
"If you want a harvest thats lasts for a season, plant corn,
If you want a harvest that lasts for a decade, plant trees,
If you want a harvest that lasts for a lifetime, plant people."
You have financial struggles, what do you do above and beyond your tithing? You sow money into people with needs and gods kingdom, and he do like he says in Malachi 3:10 "Open up the floodgates of heaven above you" and what will you reap .....MONEY!! From all sources that would seem coincidental in any other instance, job raises, big sales, random letters with money in them, checks for no occasion from relatives....
thats how God's Kingdom works my friend, anything you want or need....you sow it with the hopeful expectation of return and you WILL reap what you have sown.
Now this also goes negatively as well, You sow anger and hatred and you reap it back, you are negative and unhappy all the time, it's no coincidence that more people are rude and negative to you.
You have a bitter heart....and don't sow love into other people you will reap that back as you have right now.
I live my entire life by this principle in all my actions and it is one awesome feeling not only reaping positive things but in many cases more enjoyable in sowing them.
You want some books about what I wrote above, read
"Trust God for your finances" (has changed my financial situation 180 degrees)
"The miracle of seed faith" (Oral Roberts wrote this, this book has changed my life and the way I live it.
Lastly bud lean on God, and he'll help you....I promise if you are the most enthusiastic person and happy person people have ever met then you will reap it and everywhere people will love you respect you and admire you.
And don't EVER lose hope Tactic...EVER
In the book of proverbs it says
"Hope deferred maketh the heart grow sick" (proverbs)
Don't lose hope
Pugs